The Simpsons 91-95

$pringfield (or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Legalized Gambling)

The title is taken from Dr. Stranglove (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb) and the 1971 film $

This show premiered on December 16th, 1993. It ran in its usual time slot followed by The Sinbad Show. It ran opposite Missing Persons, In The Heat Of The Night and Mad About You.

The chalkboard gag is "I will not say Springfield just to get applause" and the couch gag is the family running into each other and shattering on the floor.

Homer goes to the restroom and finds a pair of glasses in the toilet. When he puts them on he tries to sound smart, it turns out they belonged to Henry Kissinger who didn't want to admit he dropped them, later Kissinger is injured when he walks into a wall. Burns randomly choses to lay off people at the plant but decides to keep Homer since he's wearing glasses and looks like an egghead. The Springfield economy suffers when Fort Springfield closes down, the city holds a meeting where Quimby suggests taking the last of the public funds to go to a better city, run for mayor and then will bring everyone else along. Skinner suggest legalizing gambling, everyone thinks Marge is going to be against it but she supports the idea. Burns builds the Mr. Burns Casino. During the magic act the tiger remembers her days in the wild and attacks the magicians (This is considered one of the times The Simpsons predicted the future after the Siegfried & Roy tiger attack in 2003). Bart wins on a slot machine and is kicked out so he starts his own casino in his treehouse. Marge visits Homer in the casino and plays the slots, she wins a dollar but is tempted to return. At Bart's casino Milhouse tries a magic trick with cats and gets attacked (similar to the casino magicians). Mr. Burns lives in the casino and starts to act like Howard Hughes. Meanwhile Marge is busy playing the slots while Maggie wanders off, Barney saves her from being eaten by one of the casino tigers. Marge has becoming addicted to gambling and the house is falling apart. Lisa has a dream about the Boogie Man and Homer panics, Marge comes home to find Homer with a shotgun. Marge promises to be home. Bart hijacks Robert Goulet for his casino. Lisa needs a Florida shaped costume for the school pageant so Homer makes it for her and it's a disaster, so he goes to the casino to get Marge back, as he rampages through and every game he touches wins. When Burns see Homer he decides to go back to the power plant. Marge realizes she has a gambling problem, Homer doesn't want her to go to a professional because it's too expensive. 

There is a flashback scene to a newsreel at the movies, News On Parade Corporation News: Current Events Atomic bomb test in Nevada, New Gadgets: a tv that causes a family to panic when a train comes at them. Hollywood: Amos, the White actor who did the voice of the racist Black characters. Springfield City On The Grow, Springfield galoshes, Aqua-Car factory, Professor Rubber Mouth (a guy with 5 billiard balls in his mouth) 

Classic Springfield: Movie at the Aztec theater: "Featuring Ray Milland in Tame The Mighty Hudson." Vinegar Parlor, Heinrich's Monocle Shop.

Modern Springfield Movie marquee: XXX Sperms of Endearment, I'll Do Anyone

Homer wearing glasses "The sum of the square root of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side" Guy in toilet stall "That's a right triangle you idiot!" The original quote is by the Scarecrow in The Wizard Of Oz, who got the geometry wrong. 

Mr. Burns says he lived through McKinleynomics. McKinley was President from 1897 to 1901 and caused a depression with his tariff policy.

Scott Christian anchors the news. He made his first appearance in Krusty Gets Busted.

The government closes Fort Springfield the prostitutes are hitchhiking to Fort Bragg.

Burns remembers back to when he was a kid and crippled an Irish workman with a bumper car at the Springfield Boardwalk. 

Casino designs, Britannia, looks like Parliament and the woman are all bucktoothed. Woodstock. The Sea Captain offers to sail around the cape and get spices. 

The Mr. Burns Casino was a spoof on Trump's Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. It would appear in another episode.

Homer's life long dream was to be a contestant on The Gong Show which he did in 1977. 

Gerry Cooney Official Greeter of the Burns Casino. He annoys Otto who punches him once and knocks him out. (This is a reference to his fight with George Forman where he went down in the second round)

Burns Casino Signs: Ticker sign: Blood Bank on Premises. Today: The Flamboyant Magic Of Gunther And Ernst. XXX Krusty's Midnight Show Adults Only. )Yoko Ono in the audience. She is first seen in the episode Homer's Barber Shop Quartet) Tonight Robert Goulet Also Concrete and Asphalt Expo 1993. (that was 30 years ago btw)

First appearance of stereotypical Texan. "Yee Haw" He gives Homer his lucky hat that he was wearing the day Kennedy was shot.

Bart's treehouse casino: Tonight Milhouse. Next Week: An Evening With Jimbo. At the sports book the bets are Krabappel Nervous Breakdown 2-1 Fat Kid Popular 50-1 Bart Gets Own TV Show 1000-1 (self aware joke) Bart accidentally books the real Lisa Minelli instead of an impersonator and has to find a new act, het hijacks Robert Goulet who sings Jingle Bells with the Batman lyrics and hits Milhouse in the eye with his mic. Nelson is in the front row, this will come up in a later episode.

Rainman shows up at Homer's table. 

Burns designs the Spruce Moose to carry 200 passengers from New York to the Congo in 17 minutes. This is a spoof of Howard Hughes's Spruce Goose, a plane that only flew once and became a tourist attraction in the 80's.

Self Aware Joke: Homer says everything is solved just like on TV and then trips over a footstool like Dick Van Dyke in the opening of his show.  

Robert Goulet and Gerry Cooney both do their own voiceovers in this episode. 

This was the last episode of 1993. Only 30 more years to go.

Homer The Vigilante 

This episode premiered on January 6th, 1994. It ran in its usual time slot and ran opposite the regular series.

The chalkboard gag is "I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers" and the couch gag is a repeat of the explosion from the three takes.

While the Simpsons are peacefully sleeping a burglar breaks into the house. When he gets out his tools he finds Homer's keys hanging in the front door. He gives SLH and a sleepwalking Homer sausages to keep them quiet. He steals Lisa's sax, Bart's TV, Marge's pearls and Bart's stamp collection, Nelson calls to laugh at Bart. The burglar steals Neds Shroud Of Turin beach towels, Skinners Stormin' Norman commemorative plates and everything from Barney's apartment. Wiggums recovers the burglars handkerchief but wipes himself with it before letting the dog sniff it, who then attacks him. Professor Frink builds a house designed to run away from the burglar however the model catches on fire. (this is a reference to Back To The Future where Doc Brown demonstrates the model car hitting the wire during the thunder storm which sets it on fire and it crashes into a pile of rags). While walking down the street Bart triggers all the security systems including lasers that shoot a rock he tosses and one of Professor Frink's houses, which runs down the street and bursts into flames. Malloy comes in to Grandpa's room in the middle of the night, Abe things he's being robbed but Malloy just wants to borrow his ointment, Abe tells him to wipe off the applicator when he's done. The Kwik-E-Mart has a sign that says "We're Never Open" and Apu is on the roof with a gun shooting at anyone approaching (20 years before The Purge). Homer replaces Lisa's sax with a jug. Homer becomes the leader of the neighborhood watch, the group all show up with guns and accidentally shoot them in the house, including Bart. The vigilantes catch Jimbo painting Carpe Diem on a wall and so he joins the group. While Homer is on Smartline the cat burglar calls the show to tell Homer that he's going to rob the Springfield Museum and steal the world's largest cubic zirconia diamond. (although they had been around for a while cubic zirconia became a popular diamond replacement in the day).  Homer vows to guard the museum, Grandpa offers to help and Homer tells him to stand off to the side and not steal anything. Homer sees some kids drinking beer without a permit and runs off. The Cat Burglar steals the fake diamond while Homer is chugging beer with the teens. Everyone in town is mad at Homer, Jimbo quits the vigilantes and vows to go to law school. Lisa tries to cheer up Homer by playing the jug. Abe shows up to tell them that Malloy is the burglar, he notices that Malloy wears sneakers and they saw him breaking into the museum and he has the fake diamond in his room. After Malloy offers to return all their possessions they decide to let him go, except for Wiggums who takes him to jail. While Homer mocks Malloy he offers to tell them where he hid the rest of his stolen money, it's buried under a big T. Homer and the cops go running out into the street shouting about the hidden money and cause a city wide panic. The town goes back to Malloy for more information. He says it's buried at 4723 Maple Valley Road, he eventually has to draw them a map. The town rushes to the site in a It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World scene until they discover a tree shaped like a T (in the original movie it was four trees that formed a giant W). They find a briefcase with a note from the cat burglar saying he tricked them so he would have time to escape from jail however the signature is smudged so they decide to dig deeper. When they find themselves at a bottom of a deep hole they decide the only way out is do dig themselves out. Wiggums tells them to "dig up stupid".

When the cat burglar steals Bart's TV he replaces it with a book titled Coping With Loss

Calling Card: You have just been robbed by the Springfield Cat Burglar Est. 1957

Springfield Shopper headline (dated May 26 1993): Cat burglar Strikes 15 Homes! Man Marries Woman in Wedding Ceremony. Burglar Strike Again. Is Nothing Safe? (The Cat Burglar steals the paper and replaces it with his calling card). Zirconia Ztolen!!! Simpson Asleep At Switch (photo of Homer passed out in front of museum surrounded by beer cans)

Ned's home bar sign Seven Days Without A Drink Makes Me Weak. 

Grandpa "I'm filled with piss and vinegar, at first I was just full of vinegar"

Homer goes to Herman's Military Antiques to arm his vigilantes, Herman shows him an A Bomb built to drop on Beatnicks. Homer imagines himself as Major Kong from Dr. Strangelove. He says "Take that Maynard G. Krebs" a character Bob Denver played on the show The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis in 1959 (pre Gilligan's Island days). Herman has a sign that says "Do Not Ride The Bomb".

While guarding the museum Homer and Skinner do a bit from Dragnet complete with the famous song. 

Homer is 36 in this episode.

Springfield Museum Alarm System Do Not Turn Off (just a switch on the wall) 

Salvador Dali's Persistence Of Memory in the background along with Rockwell's Freedom Of Speech

Abe shows up covered in garbage and says he fell down at the Big Boy. A hamburger chain.

T spots in Springfield: The Big T Building, Big T Burger And Fries, The Tea Factory (with a giant tea cup on the roof), Big T Theater and on the Marquee "Ice-T with Booker-T In Concert

It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World scenes: Marge and Homer on a motorcycle with a side car, Barney flying a biplane with Selma and Patty in the back (they hit  him with their purse after he flies through a Duff billboard), Bart gives Phil Silvers directions leaving him floating down the river. When they arrive at the T shaped tree and start digging we see the characters played by Phil Silvers, Milton Berle and Buddy Hackett among the crowd.

Stormin' Norman was General Norman Schwarzkopf, who was in charge of Operation Desert Storm in 1992. He hated the nickname Stormin' and preferred to be called "The Bear". 

Sam Neil does the voice of Malloy.

The closing theme is a version of the Mad Mad World song. 

This was the first episode of 1994.

Bart Gets Famous

This episode premiered on February 3rd, 1994. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the regular programs except for I Spy Returns, a movie on CBS.

The chalkboard gag is "My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man" and just like the last episode the couch gag is a repeat of one of the Three Takes, this one is the family turning into a giant blob.

Bart's class is going on a field trip, to the box factory. The tour is boring, the guy takes them to the most interesting room but they took the interesting thing out. Bart decides to escape by jumping in a laundry hamper but gets impatient and goes out the exit and to the TV studio next door. Homer goes to the factory and finds Bart's lucky red hat on a box and thinks he's been turned into one. At the studio Bart steals Kent Brockman's danish and give it to Krusty. Krusty hires Bart as his assistant. Brockman refuses to read the news without his danish so Bumblebee Man rushes on, reads the news and does a prat fall. Bart has to do a bunch of lousy jobs for Krusty and is considering quitting, just as he's leaving Krusty needs him to be on the show since Sideshow Mel is sick. When Bart walks out on stage he trips knocking down the set and the backdrop and says "I didn't do it". Krusty is about to fire him when a crowd is waiting outside to see him, he becomes the I Didn't Do It Boy on the show. Bart records a I Didn't Do It song which is set to the tune of Super Freak by Rick James. MC Hammer is in the sound booth, he used the same track for Can't Touch This. There is a BartChat line, Barney answers it and says "I didn't do nothing". Bart finds out he's an obnoxious fad, he pictures himself on Matchgame 2034, still know as the I Didn't Do It Boy. He appears on Late Night With Conan O'Brien but they only want him to say the line. When he plans to quit Marge reminds him he's making people happy, however the fad is over, he tries to say Woozle Wuzzle and flops. Krusty fires him. 

Homer's horoscope, Today will be a day like every other day. 

Self aware joke, Bart whistles the theme song and Marge calls it annoying. At the end Lisa says Bart will be remembered for more than just a catch-phrases. All the other characters show up to say theirs except for Lisa who doesn't have one. 

Bart wears his Lucky Red Hat, first seen in Bart The General.

Other school's field trips: Norther Haverbrook goes to Toy Town, Capitol City goes to the Fireworks Testing Range, Shelbyville and Spittle County (first seen in Colonel Homer) go to the Slide Factory.

The box factory tour guide has a calendar of boxes on his office wall.

Continuity error: The Bumblebee man is seen at the Channel 6 TV studio even though he appears on Channel Ocho. Also in the Krusty Gets Busted episode Scott Christian says that Krusty runs on a competing station opposite Hobo Hank, in this episode both Krusty and Kent Brockman are on channel 6.

When Bart gets Krusty a danish he tosses him a towel, this is a take on the famous Coke commercial where a kid gives Mean Joe Greene his Coke and Greene tosses the kid his jersey.

Homer remembers his one man band where he plays Tighten Up by Archie Bell and the Drells, even while being attacked by an organ grinder's monkey. (You couldn't get away with that stereotype today)

Krusty calls Bart, he needs fingerprints on a candlestick in the conservatory, a reference to the game Clue. 

Sideshow Mel is lactose intolerant. 

Dated reference, Bart plays back the show on a VCR. Barts biography is mostly about Ross Perot (famous third party candidate) and the Oliver North trial (the Iran/Contra scandal during the Reagan administration). Homer mentions Urkel.

Monstro Mart, Today Meet Krusty. See The "I Didn't Do It" Boy $5. 

The "I Didn't Do It!" Boy In: "The Ming Vase On Ladder Sketch"

The I Didn't Do It Dancers, based on the Fly Girls from In Living Color.

When being robbed Apu sets off the alarm and says I Didn't Do It, he and Snake have a laugh. Mayor Quimby is caught in bed and tells his wife I er Didn't Do It. During a fire started by someone smoking in bed both Patty and Selma say I Didn't Do It. 

Matchgame 2034 guests, Billy Crystal, Farrah Fawcett-Majors-O'Neal-Varney (as in Jim), Ventriloquist Loni Anderson, Spike Lee, the Head of Kitty Carlisle (Futurama with famous heads in jars was still 5 years off). 

In the episode Treehouse of Horror III the Krusty doll says "I didn't do it". 

Bart's chalkboard punishment is a reference to The Fugitive. The movie, based on the TV series, had come out in 1993.

This is the first appearance of Martha Quimby, Mayor Diamond Joe's wife. She looks like Jackie Kennedy. 

Conan O'Brien, former head writer of The Simpsons, does his own voice for the show.

Homer And Apu

This episode premiered on February 10th 1994. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the regular programs except for the TV movie Gunsmoke: One Man's Justice on CBS. (This is the last time James Arness would play Matt Dillon)

The chalkboard gag is "I will not go near the kindergarten turtle" and the couch gag is the family is hiding behind the couch, they pop up one by one, Maggie pops up from under one of the cushions. 

Apu finds a package of ham that expired on Feb. 6th 1989 (which would be 5 years for the show and 34 years ago now.) he marks out the date and puts it on the 10¢ table next to old fruit and a swollen can of chicken soup. Homer buys it and gets food poisoning. To make up for it Apu gives Homer 10 pounds of shrimp, which gives him food poisoning again. Lisa tells Homer to call the channel 6 investigation show. They send Homer in with a huge hat holding a hidden camera, when Apu suggest the strange noise coming from it is a bee Homer panics, stomps on it and runs out of the store. However the abandon camera catches Apu putting dirty hot dogs back on the rack, which Homer goes inside to purchase. The bosses from the Kwik-E-Mart show up to fire Apu, they tear off his name tag and his "Ask me about our fried pickles" patch. Apu goes to Homer to apologize and offer to work off his Karmic debt. James Woods shows up for the Kwik-E-Mart job, he's researching a part. (This was before everyone hated him). Apu does a musical number Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart, however he's actually sad about losing his job. Apu decides to head to the main office in India, Homer promises to come along. They have to climb to the top of a mountain to the first convenience store. The head of the Kwik-E-Mart lets them ask three questions. Homer asks if he's really the head of the company three times. Apu returns to the Kwik-E-Mart just as the place is being robbed. The guy tries to shoot James Woods and Apu jumps in front of the gun, an old bullet wound saves his life. Woods gets Apu his job back at the Kwik-E-Mart. 

Prices at the Kwik-E-Mart: a 29¢ stamp is $1.85, $2.00 worth of gas is $4.20 (prior to it becoming a nationwide slang for getting stoned)

The generic ambulance is seen rushing Homer to get his stomach pumped, twice. 

Bite Back With Kent Brockman And His Channel 6 Consumer Watchdog Unit. Their van has Ordinary Van painted on the side. 

The Firing Apu scene is a take on the TV show Branded. Apu is also ordered to turn over his pricing gun and the one he has strapped to his ankle. 

Marge goes to the Monstromart "Where Shopping Is a Baffling Ordeal" The store was first seen in the previous episode. (It was based on the warehouse shopping which had just become a thing in the 90's) Express lane 1000 items or less.

At the Monstromart Barney knocks over a display of giant cranberry juice bottles, there is a wave of red, a spin on the elevator scene from The Shining. 

When the people arrive in India there is a group of Protestants trying to get donations and convert people. This is a spin on the Hare Krishnas who would hang around airports before 9/11.

Homer and Apu are hanging off the side of an India train (could you do this joke in the modern PC world?)

Head of the Kwik-E-Mart sign: The master knows all except combination to the safe.

Kwik-E-Mart do not accept checks list: Chief Wiggums, Reverend Lovejoy, Homer J. Simpson, Homer S. Simpson, H.J. Simpson, Homor Simsons, Homer J. Fong.

Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy

This episode premiered on February 17th, 1994. It was followed by a repeat of The Simpsons. It ran opposite Missing Persons, The 1994 Winter Olympics and Mad About You. 

There was no chalkboard gag and the couch gag is a repeat of the Monty Python foot.

Grandpa goes to the opening of senior's health center to see Matlock. A really old Andy Griffith shows up and is attacked by the crowd. Jasper is talking about swiping his pills just as the ambulance rushes by while the paramedic is doing defibrillations. Abe starts to worry about death so he gives the family their inheritance, a box of 1918 Liberty Head silver dollars. (There were no dollar coins in 1918). Instead of hearing Abe's story about how he got the coins from a J.G. Rockefeller the family heads to the mall. At the store Lisa gets a Talking Malibu Stacy doll. When they get home Homer tells Abe that he's an old crank, in order to try to feel younger he drinks Buzz Cola but it hurts his tongue. When Lisa tries out her new doll all it says is vacuous comments so she throws it out the window, just as Grandpa goes by on a bike, the doll causes him to crash and he flies into a grave. After complaining Marge tells Lisa "lets forget our trouble with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream", the doll repeats the line word for word. Lisa finds out that there is a Malibu Stacy factory tour and insists Marge take her so she can complain in person. Malibu Stacy was first created in 1959 out of onion meal, a year later they started making them out of plastic. Mr. Smithers is the biggest collector. "I'll see you at Stacycon 94". Grandpa gets a job at Krustyburger. Lisa goes to Smithers to find out about Stacy Lavelle, his start up screen is Mr. Burns saying "You're quite good at turning me on". (this was one more proof in my ongoing argument with one of my coworkers about Smithers being Gay). While convincing Lavelle to create a new doll her ex husband Joe shows up "release me from your kung fu grip". When trying to pick out a doll name Bart keeps butting in because nobody is paying attention to him. When they are planning on selling the doll the Malibu Stacy company tries to stop them. Kent Brockman's daughter asks him to talk about the new Lisa Lionheart on the news, he spends the entire broadcast talking about the doll. Meanwhile back at work all the seniors are complaining at Abe and he decides to quit and join the grouchy old crowd. Just as they open the store to sell the Lisa Lionheart doll the rival company reveal a new Stacy doll, with a new hat. At the end Homer dances out the theme song on the floor piano. 

Center For Geriatric Medicine "Grand Opening Meet TV's Matlock"

Grandpa Simpson gives Lisa a telegram from Boris Karloff threatening legal action if he doesn't stop sending letters, dated 1975

Malls stores, Simply Shades, One Size Fits Al Lingerie, House of No Refunds, The Leftorium, Origami Designs, Simply Vinnegar (actual spelling), Kidstown USA "Not Affiliated With Kidstown Juvenile Correctional Farm"

Maggie writes her name on an Etch A Sketch, another hint about her IQ.

Homer picks out a Sgt. Thugs Mountaintop Command Post. Homer stomps on floor piano (a spoof on the scene from the movie Big) The doll section at the toy story is Valley Of The Dolls (Named after the 1967 movie)

Bargain bin Malibu Stacy dolls: Achey Breaky Stacy, Live From The Improv (wearing a Comic Relief t shirt)

Talking Malibu Stacy lines "I wish they taught shopping in school", "Lets bake some cookies of the boys", "Don't ask me, I'm just a girl, he he", "Lets buy makeup so the boys will like us" "Now lets forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream", "Thinking too much gives you wrinkles", "My name is Stacy but you can call me (wolf whistle)"

One girl has a doll with the wrong voice box and it says "My Spidey sense is tingling, anybody call for a web slinger?" This was based on a true event when Mattel issued a Barbie doll that said "Math is hard" so in 1993 a group of activists switched the Barbie and GI Joe voice boxes. 

Lisa made the family march in a Gay Rights parade. Bart's photo appears in the paper under the headline Local Gays Show Their Pride. 

Self Aware Joke. Homer says Lisa won't let them watch Fox because they own chemical weapons plants in Syria. When talking about the sexist doll Lisa says "I'd be mortified if someone made a lousy product with the Simpsons name on it." When Lisa suggest using the various family members hair style for the doll Stacy tells her they all have horrible hair, from a design point. (ever see a Bart doll?)

The Malibu Stacy customer service center: Complaint about appearance or odor press 1, need new head after haircut press 2, factory tour press 3.

Petrochem Petrochemical Corp. Proud Makers Of Caustic Polypropylene and Malibu Stacy. 

Adult joke snuck in: Malibu Stacy, America's favorite 8 1/2 incher. 

Stacy Lavell lives at Recluse Ranch Estates in the Stacy Dream House

Stacy Lavell was married to Ken, Johnny (cowboy), Joe (solider), Dr. Colossus (giant scientist) Steve Austin (The 6 Million Dollar Man)

Lisa's doll has the wisdom of Gertrude Stein (famous writer), and the wit of Cathy Gisewite (creator of the Cathy cartoon strip), the tenacity of Nina Totenberg (NPR reporter), common sense of Elizabeth Cady Stanton (Suffragette) and the looks of Eleanor Roosevelt. "Trust in yourself and you can achieve anything"

Stacy Lavelle was voiced by Cathleen Turner. 

This brings us up through episode 95. We're making quite a dent in The Simpsons.