The Simpsons 196-200

This Little Wiggy

This episode premiered on March 22nd 1998. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and it was followed by the pilot episode of Damon (A short lived police sitcom staring Damon Wayans). The show ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (The Little Rascals, 1994), 60 Minutes and Dateline.

The title comes from the poem This Little Piggy and is a joke on the 60's slang term for the police.

The chalkboard gag is "I was not told to do this" and the couch gag is a repeat of Bart doing graffiti. 

Mrs. Krabappal is teaching kids how to do math on their calculators. Skinner brings in Robbie the Automaton, a promotional robot for the Springfield Knowledgeum. Bart spots the operator in a nearby tree and hits him with an apple, the robot goes out of control and tries to kill Skinner. At the museum Homer tries the ovulation simulator but fails. Bart uses the Mars Rover for a skateboard. The bullies shove Ralph into the ear display, when the staff pop him out with a giant Q-Tip Marge feels sorry and invites him to spend the day with Bart. Bart plays hide and seek with Ralph but doesn't go looking for him. They go to Ralph's house, Bart convinces him to play in his dad's special closet. Wiggum catches them but when he finds out Ralph has a real friend he lets them use the riot gear. Bart finds out the chief has a master key to every door in town he starts drooling thinking about the mischief he can cause. Bart has a sleep over at Ralph's house and steals the master key, they break into the toy store and the bakery. However they run into the bullies, to prove he's cool he shows them the master key. Bart takes them to the abandon prison while Ralph wants to go home, Bart steals his key and ditches him, but then stands up for him when the bullies get mean. Nelson throws the key through the window of the prison so Ralph and Bart have to go try to find it. Just before they get to it a rat runs off with the key, they end up at the electric chair. Bart wants to test it out so he turns on the armed box and they melt the figures they stole from the bakery. The security guard comes along and they run off. The next day they are watching TV, Quimby is reopening the old prison and wants to demonstrate the electric chair, however he doesn't know that the power is on, Bart tries to call but the security guard is on the phone. Ralph suggests they ask Lisa for help. Quimby tells his staff to not stop the demonstration no matter how realistic his performance is. Lisa uses Bart's rocket to send a message but it accidentally lands in Burns' office. They flip the switch and Quimby gets electrocuted however Burns is angry that the prison is getting free power and cuts them off. Lisa gets upset when everyone cheers on Ralph. Ralph's invisible leprechaun friend shows up and tells him to burn the Simpson's house down.

Robbie the Automaton is based on Robbie The Robot from Forbidden Planet. He is called the Automaton as part of a long running gag about copyrighted names.

Springfield Knowledgeum "Where science is explained with brightly-colored balls"

Troy McClure You might know me from such automated information kiosks as Welcome to Springfield Airport and Where's Nordstrom?

Dirty jokes: at the Knowledgeum Bart goes to "toss the virtual salad" / Morningwood Penitentiary / When Bart's rocket lands in Burns' office he tells Smithers "There's a rocket in my pocket". 

Police files at Wiggum's house: Rivera, Dr. N / Krustofsky, H. / Terwilliger, R. / Simpson, Homer. 

Homer reads 99 Hilarious Phone Messages. This is a dated reference to the days when people had actual answering machines instead of call waiting. Marge does a Geraldine one, another dated reference that the Century Kids probably won't get. Homer does a Jerry Maguire one and The Hustle from Soul City Symphony. 

Chief Wiggum watches The Return Of The Pink Panther Returns staring Ken Wahl. After the death of Peter Sellers there were several attempts to create a new character to keep the series running, they were pretty bad. In 1998 Wahl's career had hit a bad spot, mostly due to his alcoholism and a neck injury from where he fell down a flight of stairs.

J.R.R Toykin's (a spin on J.R.R. Tolkien and Toys R Us).

Simpson Tide

This episode premiered on March 29th 1998. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O Disney (Safety Patrol), Touched By An Angel and The NBC Sunday Night Movie (1997's Asteroid). 

The title of this episode comes from the 1995 film Crimson Tide.

The chalkboard gag is "My butt does not deserve a website" and the couch gag is a spoof on the opening of Rocky and Bullwinkle. 

Homer is dreaming about being on the Planet Of The Donuts. Lenny wakes him up for their coffee break however there is only one donut left. Homer plans on placing it in the reactor core causing it to become big, it causes a meltdown instead. When Burns wants to know why he did it he claims it's his first day, Burns almost lets him off until Smithers points out that Homer has worked at the plant for 10 years, he's fired. Homer sees an ad for the Naval Reserve where they say he'll spend most of his time drunk off his ass. When Barney, Moe and Apu find out Homer joined, they all sign up too. Homer mentions the movie The Deer Hunter which reminds Moe to break up the game of Russian Roulette going on in the back room (Krusty and Skinner are playing). At the Naval base Homer puts up a pinup of Marge, Barney puts up one of Homer. At reveille Homer shows up wearing a Foam Dome because a seagull stole his sailor hat. Milhouse gets an earring and Bart is jealous when everyone is impressed. He does The Bartman and Ralph says "That is so 1991". At the Naval Reserve show Bob Denver complains about people hitting him with their hats. Bart gets his ear pierced but finds out everyone did it. Homer is assigned to a nuclear sub because of his background, which they clearly didn't check out. Homer is mad at Bart for the piercing so he gives Homer the earring. When leaving port the sub crew sings a sea chanty, In The Navy by The Village People. The Village People are on the sub deck along with Smithers (wink wink) but drowned when the sub dives under water. The captain goes to check out an obstruction in a torpedo tube and puts Homer in charge, the tube is full of hidden snacks and beer. A sub comes up on them so Homer fires a torpedo shooting the captain into the other sub, they return fire and Homer's sub is damaged. While trying to find their way home they steer into Russian waters. The news runs a story saying Homer stole the sub and they put up a photo of him in a Russian costume and holding vodka while dancing in Red Square. The Russian ambassador accidentally says Soviet Union, suddenly the entire nation reveals its hidden USSR stuff. Lenin comes out of his glass coffin and sets out to crush capitalism in a Frankenstein walk. The sub's engine room springs a pinhole leak, when Homer is thinking of his family he remembers Bart's earring, dives into the engine room and saves the day. When Homer surfaces he tells everyone it's his first day. Homer goes before the Naval Board but they all have to step down due to their own scandals, Tailhook, bribes, torpedoing at Carnival Cruise ship, impersonating the First Lady. All that's left is the janitor and he tells Homer he's off the hook. Homer gets a dishonorable discharge. The closing Simpsons theme is done as a military march. 

Bob Denver does his own voice in this episode and Rod Steiger does the voice of Captain Tennille (a spoof on Captain & Tennille). 

Planet Of The Donuts is a spoof on Planet Of The Apes. 

Homer watches Blacksplotation Theater featuring Blackula and Blackenstein followed by Blunchblack of Blotre Blame. 

The Naval Reserve "It's Not Just A Job...It's a Really Easy Job. 

At the Reserve enlistment office Homer notes there is a question that's crossed out, it's about being Gay. This was part of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell program that President Clinton had put in place in 1993. Homer tries to read and answer the question to the Recruiter's objections.

Homer tries to turn off the light with The Clapper, even though they don't have one. The Clapper was a popular commercial in 1989, "Clap on, clap off, The Clapper."

In the Russian Roulette scene Richie Sakai is in the background, he was the Karaoke singer in the episode One Fish, Two Fish. Mob Louie is also at the game. 

Lisa complains about the Military Industrial Complex. This is from Eisenhower's 1961 speech. 

Barney's mother is in the Navy. 

Homer's pinup of Marge is based on the classic Betty Grable pinup from WWII.

When the drill sergeant asks Homer if he's a comedian he says he's no Margaret Cho and then does a Columbo impersonation complete with the fake eye. 

At graduation the sailors all toss their hats in the air, then the pastry chefs and then the WWI German re-creationists, however they have spiked helmets and it doesn't end well.

Do The Bartman was a 1990 song and video from the Simpsons Sing The Blues album.

Veterans Of Unpopular Wars Hall (Two War-Story Minimum)

Grandpa claims to have been on PT 109 with John F. Kennedy. 

USO Tour Featuring Bob Hope and Cindy Crawford / Naval Reserve Tour featuring Bob Denver and Cindy Williams.

At the mall they have Starbucks, The Jerky Hut, Starbucks and coming soon, a Starbucks. Bart goes to In 'N' Out Ear Piercing "If it dangles, we'll punch a hole in it." This is a spoof on the In N Out burgers. By the time he gets his ear pierced the entire mall is occupied by Starbucks. 

The sub is the USS Jebediah, a reference to Jebediah Springfield.

When the sub is down to just mood lighting The Girl From Impanema plays.

Moe tells Homer everything that is out on the sub, when asked what is in he says Ice blended mocha drinks and David Schwimmer. (was he ever actually "in"?)

Homer tells Sulu to set a course for home, he replies that he's setting the course for Rigal 7,  the Russian ambassador to the UN says they will offer amnesty to the Nuclear Wessle. Two Star Trek references.

Homer wears a "I'm with Admiral Stupid" shirt under his uniform. 

Navys that force Homer to surface, U.S. / Spain / China / Antarctica (sailed by penguins) / Norway (a viking ship)

The Tailhook scandal took place in 1991 and involved officers committing acts of sexual assault at a convention.

The Trouble With Trillions

This episode premiered on April 5th 1998. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Tourist Trap), Touched By An Angel and Dateline NBC.

The title of this episode comes from the Star Trek OS The Trouble With Tribbles.

The chalkboard gag is "I will not demand what I am worth" and the couch gag is a repeat of the sauna.

It's New Years Eve but the ball gets stuck. Wiggum shoots it and it crashes into the roof of the court house which catches on fire. Ned wakes up and starts on his taxes that he mails out first thing in the morning. (The post office is actually closed on Jan. 1st). Jump to April 15th with a mob trying to beat the last minute deadline. Homer comments that he paid his taxes over a year ago, Lisa reminds him that he has to pay taxes every year so he rushes with the forms and lies on the answers. Homer tosses his tax form in at the last second. At the IRS his return accidentally falls in the Severe Audit container. When he's hanging out at Moe's the IRS shows up and hauls Homer in. Homer offers to do anything so the FBI recruits him to spy on people. Homer asks the people at the bar if they committed any crimes. They mention moonshining, telemarking and beating up George Bush sr, all things Homer did. Charlie, some random guy at the bar talks about beating up government officials for dragging their feet on Hi Def TV, the FBI busts in and arrests him. The FBI then wants Homer to find a missing trillion dollar bill that Burns stole. When Homer shows up at Burns house he tries to release the hounds but nothing happens so he boils water to scald Homer but throws it too soon. Burns thinks Homer is a reporter from Colliers Magazine and shows him around. In his family hall of fame Burns has a statue of himself holding a trillion dollar bill, he has the real one in his wallet. When Burns complains about the taxpayer dollars being wasted Homer decides to help him escape. Burns has them go to Smithers apartment. At the airport Homer tries to feed the trillion dollar bill into a soda machine. Burns crashes into Cuba. He is shocked to discover Batista is gone. Castro is just about to declare Communism dead but Homer convinces Burns to let him see the trillion dollar bill, they then get kicked out of the country on a raft headed to Florida. Burns plans to bribe a jury to get out of the treason charges. 

In this episode Marge says that she did the painting of the ship over the couch. 

Waiting at the IRS, Lucus, Gil and Homer.

The FBI van: Two Guys From Quantico Pizza

When Homer finds out about the trillion dollar bill he says "Atsa Spicy Meatball". This is from a 1970's Alka-Seltzer commercial.

Burns flies in the plane, The Spirit Of Springfield.

"This film will self destruct if not properly stored" This is a spoof on Mission Impossible.

Collier's magazine ran from 1888 to 1957. 

Franklin Jefferson Burns (Boston Tea Party)

Springfield Airfield "Birthplace of Wind Shear"

Cuban immigration form: Purpose of visit: A) Business/Pleasure B) Smuggle Cigars C) Assassinate Castro. Homer checks all three boxes. 

Billboard in Cuba: El Duffo O Muerte. "Duff or Death" It has a picture of Che Guevara. His image was popular in the 1990's although most people had no idea about his history. 

In 2011 the US had a budget crisis and one of the suggestions was to mint a trillion dollar coin. Its came up again in 2020. This episode was heavily referenced during that time. 

Girly Edition

This episode premiered on April 19th 1998. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and it was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (My Date With The President's Daughter), Touched By An Angel and Dateline NBC. 

The episode gets its name from the afternoon newspaper and the show Early Edition.

There isn't a chalkboard gag and the couch gag is a repeat of the image being spun.

Channel 6's network's license is on the line and the head wants more educational programing. Lindsey Naegle wants a kids news show. Bart does a skateboard stunt but crashes into Willie's leaf pile so he takes Bart's skateboard. To get revenge Bart pumps creamed corn into his shack. Lisa is chosen to anchor the children's news hour, and to be the lunchroom monitor. The cream corn explodes Willie's shack, he vows revenge. When Homer goes to the Kwik-E-Mart he finds that Apu has a helper monkey after being shot and winding up in a wheelchair. Homer applies for a helper monkey but has no disabilities, so he brings Grandpa and runs off with the monkey. Lisa's news is boring but Bart's sports news is a hit so they make him co anchor. Bart overhears Lisa complaining about him when the camera is left on. Bart tries to prove he's not dumb by reading the paper, instead he goes to Kent Brockman who tells him to do schmaltzy news. Bart does a segment called Bart's People, he does a story on a guy who goes to feed the ducks at the park but the ducks are gone, or he's at the wrong bench. Lisa gets jealous of Bart's popularity so she tries to do sappy stories, first she gets attacked by the cat lady, then she does a story on an abandon train track but it's not abandon, and she's attacked by the cat lady again. Homer gets the monkey to break into the bakery but it runs off with all the donuts. Lisa comes up with a scheme to get back at Bart, she sends him to the dump where Willie is living. Homer has ruined the helper monkey, they are both living in their own filth, Marge forces him to return the monkey, Homer just dumps him off at the door. Milhouse does a story on how to cover up wetting the bed. Bart does his story but is attacked by Willie who tells what happened to him as a result of Bart, however Lisa realizes that she put Bart in danger and rushes to his aid. Lisa uses schmaltz to talk Willie out of killing Bart. Lisa and Bart decide to work together, just as their show is replaced by a half hour commercial for chocolate and toys. 

This episode features the first appearance of The Cat Lady.

 Lindsey Naegle was first seen in the episode The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show.

The Itchy And Scratchy Show: The Glass Moan-Agerie (a play on the Glass Menagerie) Scratchy applies for an assistant job at Itchy's Glass Blowing shop. Itchy throws him in the kiln and blows a No Vacancy neon sign out of him. 

Self Aware Joke, when talking about Itchy and Scratchy Krusty says "you think the quality would dip after 5500 shows". 

The cartoon that replaces Kidz News is The Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour. 

New Bubble Crum: It's Crun-chewy! The gum with the cracker center. 

Homer gets his monkey from Animal Assistants "As felt in Braille Weekly"

Homer names his helper monkey Mojo. This was 7 months before the Monkey Villain Mojo Jojo appeared on the PowerPuff Girls

When Kent does the story on the carousel about to be torn down Turn Turn Turn by The Byrds plays. When Bart does his segment on the missing ducks Where Have All The Flower Gone by The Kingston Trio plays. 

Bart visits the Veterans Of Popular Wars where the seniors sew flags out of random cloth scraps.

Trash Of The Titans

This episode premiered on April 26th, 1998. It ran in its regular time slot and opposite The ABC Sunday Night Movie (Apollo 13), Touched By An Angel and The NBC Sunday Night Movie (Merlin, part 1)

The title of this episode comes from the 1981 movie Clash Of The Titans

The chalkboard and couch gag are combined, the family runs into the class room to find Bart writing I Will Not Mess With The Opening Credits on the chalkboard. 

Costingtons store wants to come up with a holiday for the post Fourth of July slump. The CEO says they need to come up with something like Love Day but not so lame, cut to Marge announcing "Happy Love Day!" and the house is decorated in Love Day stuff. When they throw away all the Love Day stuff Lisa says Homer has to take the trash out out but he says the rule is it isn't full until it spills, then stomps everything down.  Later Bart can't get a banana peel to stay so he staples it to the trash can. Homer writes B+ on a wrapper and uses a magnet to put it on the fridge however he trips over the trash can and has to haul it out. He just misses the trash guy and yells at them so they back up. Homer comes back covered in trash and the family is cut off from pick up. Homer just starts throwing everything out in the yard. Marge has to use bacon to distract the rats while Bart and Lisa make a run for the bus. The next day Homer wakes up and all the trash is gone, Homer thinks he won however Marge wrote an apology letter to the sanitation commissioner, Homer is extra mad that she forged his signature. The Sanitation Manager is being extra nice to Homer but he is mad because he can't fight City Hall so he runs for Sanitation Manager. Homer sneaks into the U2 concert pretending to be the potato man. After sneaking on stage and causing a disruption Bono tells the audience Homer will get the help he needs but the back stage camera shows Homer getting beat up by security. Homer turns to Moe for help and comes up with the slogan "Can't Someone Else Do It?" At the debate Patterson doesn't show up and Homer claims he was getting drunk, Homer messed with Patterson's breaks. Homer mocks Patterson but he promises to do the actual job. Homer wins and starts implementing his crazy ideas and spends the whole budget. The trash collectors go on strike. Homer gets the money to pay off the garbage men by taking in other cities trash and stuffing it into an abandon mine. The trash starts coming up from underground and the town is buried in waste. They try to reinstate Ray Patterson, but he comes back just to tell them off. The town goes to their emergency plan B. They load up the whole town and move it down the road 5 miles. Homer throws out a potato chip bag and it lands at the foot of a Native American, he's told not to turn around but does and sees the waste dump that Springfield has become. In the end credit scene U2 is on an airplane, Adam Clayton shows off his Springfield spoon. Bono takes the spoon and throws it, hitting Mr. Burns who then calls the band "Wankers". This is a vulgar term in England btw. 

Steve Martin does the voice of Ray Patterson, the Sanitation Commissioner.

Susie Smith, then girlfriend of Adam Clayton, does her own voice in this episode. 

Costington's "Over A Century Without A Slogan"

The Simpson's front lawn has a set of animatronic bears playing Love Will Keep Us Together by Neil Sedaka.

Big John's Breakfast Log is a take on Jimmy Dean breakfasts, the song Big Bad John was his biggest hit.

Patty and Selma are in line to register as sex offenders, Moe shows up and complains about the wait. 

Springfield Shopper headline: New Face In Trash Race, Local Nut At It Again. / Simpson Wins In Landslide, Says "crazy promises" the key. The price of the paper has gone up to 50¢, darn inflation.

Springfield Stadium U2 In Concert, Moshing Room Only. U2 does their own voices and songs.

Ray Patterson says the American Public never tolerated incompetence in their public officials. This episode was waaaaay before trump.

Homer sings The Garbage Man Can to the tune of The Candy Man from the 1971 movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. 

During the garbage man parade Oscar The Grouch from Sesame Street makes an appearance. The parade is a spoof on the 76 Trombones scene from the 1962 movie The Music Man.

The New York City trash contains used needles, bullet casings, guns and hand grenades. 

The Larry David Experience plays the Sanford and Son theme for Ray Patterson both when he walks on stage and then after he tells the town off. This was based on when Red Foxx was performing in Vegas, the band played the theme song when he walked on stage but the crowd was so small he just kept walking till he was off stage and they kept playing the whole time. 

The scene where Homer throws the potato chip bag out and it lands at the foot of a Native American is based on the anti littering PSAs from the 1970's that featured Iron Eyes Cody. 

Well, there it is, episode 200. When I started this I figured I would get through perhaps 100 or 150 and yet I'm still going. And winter is coming so I'll have a lot more indoor days. Well, at least I'm 1/4 of the way through, for now, who knows how many episodes they are going to make.

 The Simpsons 191-195

The Joy Of Sect

This episode premiered on February 8th 1998. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and it was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (Aladdin and the King Of Thieves), The 1998 Winter Olympics and The NBA All Star Game (East 135, West 114)

The title of this episode comes from the 1972 book The Joy Of Sex.

The chalkboard gag is "Shooting paint balls is not an art form" and the couch gag is the family is shrunken down and can only get on the couch by Homer boosting them up. After they pull him up a full size SLH comes in and carries him off. 

Homer and Bart go to the airport to see the team coming home from their road trip, everyone has shown up to throw rocks at them after their loss. The bullies are there stealing luggage and when the pimple faced security guy asks to see their claim check they all punch him in the stomach. Apu is at the snack bar praising the high prices. Dolf finds a liver transplant in his stolen luggage and tosses it, it smacks Barney at the bar and he thinks it's his liver trying to escape and shoves it in his shirt. Homer runs into the Movementarians who offer him a better life on their home planet Blisstonia. He goes to the cult compound for the fishing, they try to convert him but he's only interested if they have beer, which they've sworn off. After the cultists make several attempts he finally goes to the main barn for a free movie. As people are trying to leave they are shamed into staying. After 6 hours people are converted, except for Homer, it turns out he was making up his own movie as he went along. They try a shame circle but Homer agrees with everything they say about him. They try to use starvation but he eats everyone's gruel. They eventually convert him by using the 1966 Batman song "Na  Na Na Na Na Na Leader". He signs over the deed to the house and the family's life savings and they have to move to the cult farm. Kent Brockman does an expose on The Leader but the station is bought by the cult and he has to read a positive story (sounds like Fox News). Bart tries to cause trouble at the cult but is quickly brainwashed. Reverend Lovejoy speaks out against the cult but his church is empty except for Lenny and the Flanders. Mr. Burns finds out that The Leader gets tax free status so he starts his own religion, he appears in a God outfit but is accidentally set on fire by the fireworks. The cult does a mass wedding. Krabappal teaches at the cult school, for the first time Bart is the best student since he answers all the questions with "The Leader". Lisa complains but Krabappal says she will flunk if she doesn't give the right answers, Lisa stops objecting. Marge decides to leave however she has to cross through barbed wire, a mine field, attack dogs and an alligator moat. When she gets passed all the traps a bubble comes up but it lands on Moleman instead. When Marge gets back to Springfield she finds Lovejoy about to torch the church for insurance purposes, Willie offers to catch and deprogram her family. They do the deprogramming at Ned's house, he offers them Rice Krispie treats. Marge offers the kids hover bikes and they are deprogrammed, only to discover the bikes are held up on fishing lines and Marge hast to return them to the store. When Willie tries to deprogram Homer he ends up getting converted himself. Ned offers Homer a beer but the cult lawyers rush in and haul him off. At the compound Homer is welcomed back however the beer turned him back and he opens up the barn but there's a space ship inside. It flies off however it falls apart and it's just a guy on a pedal helicopter. He crashes into Cletus's house who robs him of his stolen money, everyone goes home. The family is glad they escaped a mind control cult but end up mindlessly watching Fox TV. 

Springfield International Airport, No Crashes Since Tuesday. (The word "Tuesday" is on a changeable board)

The airpot book store:  Just Crichton and King Books, a reference to the number of novels by Michael Crichton and Steven King and how they are always available at the airport. When Moleman asks if the clerk has anything by Robert Ludlum he is told to "get out!"

Religious people at the airport: Hara Krishnas, Christians and the Movementariuns. 

Bart has a L'il Bastard General Mischief kit.

Springfield Shopper Headline: Springfield Shopper Purchased by Evil Nice Cult. Check out our new cult lifestyle section.

For Burns' first suggestion of a religion he draws out a K, but it's the Special K trademark. Then he draws the Mickey ears. 

Books in the cult school: Arithmetic the Leader's Way / Science for Leader Lovers.

When Lisa gets mad at the cult school she shouts "He's wrong, you're wrong, the whole damn system is wrong". This is a take on the speech in the 1979 movie ....And Justice For All.

To convert the small children they have a Barney character singing the theme song but "the leader" is swapped out for You and Me. 

The bubble trap at the cult compound is from the 1967 TV show The Prisoner.

At the church Willie scrapes his fingernails down a stained glass window and offers to get the family for a price. This is a take on the scene in Jaws.

Reverend Lovejoy tries to knock out Homer but can't do it. This is a reference to the episode The Homer They Fall where they explain the layer of liquid in Homer's skull that protects his brain.

In the episode Sideshow Bob Roberts the sign in front of the Springfield Community Center reads "Tomorrow: Mass Wedding Of Cult Members"

The Movementarians were based on the Heaven's Gate cult, who were going to meet a passing comet. Unlike the Simpsons the real cult committed mass suicide in 1997.

Das Bus

This episode premiered on February 15th 1998. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (The Garbage Picking, Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon), The Winter Olympics and the NBA.

The title of this episode comes from the 1981 movie Das Boot.

There is no chalkboard gag and the couch gag is the living room is a pond and the family are all frogs leaping onto a lily pad. Homer turns on the TV with his tongue. 

The family is watching a movie starting Troy McClure as Noah, he is given instructions by God to build the ark although he tries to hedge on them. Marge lets the kids stay up late to watch, just as they are getting to the end the show is cut off by a commercial for AM Springfield. Homer calls in sick. Lisa and Bart are part of the model UN, she is France and he is Libya. Milhouse's facts on Poland is all based on bad jokes. The model UN breaks down in chaos. A letter to Flandcrest Enterprises winds up in Homer's mailbox, it's the name of Ned's home business selling religious hook rugs over the internet. Homer decides to start his own company however he doesn't even have a computer. On the bus trip to the model UN the kids get bored so Nelson and Bart race an orange and apple to see which will reach the front of the bus first, Ralph races a banana and Milhouse rolls a grapefruit. The grapefruit gets stuck under the break and when Otto stomps down on it, it squirts into his eyes and he drives off the bridge. Otto tries to swim for help but gets carried out to sea. The bus gets peeled open and the kids are sucked out by the current while it sinks, they wash up on a deserted island. The kids start blaming each other but Nelson points out it was Milhouse's grapefruit that caused the crash. Bart tells them they could live like kings on the island with a treehouse and monkey butlers however the best they do is a pile of sticks in a tree and some berries that make Ralph sick. Homer needs help naming his new company, Marge suggests CompuGlobal HyperMega-net, Homer says "fine, it's not important". Homer names himself Jr. Vice President. Otto gets picked up by a Chinese fishing vessel, they plan to enslave him at their cannery. Milhouse runs into camp shouting about a monster but nobody else sees anything. Nelson uses Milhouse's glasses to spark a fire and scratches them up. When the kids get hungry Lisa remembers a cooler full of snacks, Bart takes Milhouse's inhaler to dive down to the bus and retrieve it. They all start scarfing the food but Lisa tells them that they need to ration their supplies. The next day they wake up to find the cooler empty and blame Milhouse. Lisa demands that Milhouse gets a fair trial. Homer runs an ad for The Internet King, Comic Book Guy comes to him for a computer upgrade but Homer doesn't understand the jargon. The kids hold a trial for Milhouse, he denies taking the food and blames Lisa even though she's his lawyer. He blames the monster but they don't want to argue about it, nobody can say they saw Milhouse eat the food. Nelson, the opposing lawyer, punches Milhouse. Judge Bart can't find Milhouse guilty because of the lack of proof. Nelson hits Milhouse with a rock, Bart and Lisa join up with Milhouse and gets run off by the rest of the kids who start a hunt. Bill Gates shows up at the Simpson's house and trashes Homer's set up as a "buy out". The kids get stuck at a ravine, Milhouse swings across but doesn't throw the vine back so Bart pushes over a tree, they hide in a cave but it's where "the monster" aka a wild boar is hiding out, there is a chips package stuck to his tusk. The boar is eating the slime from the rock so Lisa is happy they are saved. The rest of the kids kill the boar and eat it instead. There is a narration of how the kids were rescued by Moe.

The plot of this episode was based on the book and the 1990 movie Lord Of The Flies. 

James Earl Jones does the closing narration in this episode.

Troy McClure in other such Bible epics as David vs. Super Goliath and Suddenly, Last Supper.

When trying to get order in the Model UN Skinner bangs his shoe on the desk, this is a reference to Khrushchev banging his shoe at the UN in 1960.

Model UN "Order at any cost" It has the image of a dove with an AK-47. 

Bart's description of the island treehouse is based on Disney's Swiss Family Robinson and there is a pedal car from Gilligan's island.

Homer reads Wired magazine to figure out what to call his company. The magazine has been in circulation since 1993.

Sherry says she's so hungry she could eat at Arbys, everyone is shocked. 

Comic Book Guy is checking out a photo of Captain Jainway (Star Trek Voyager) but it is taking forever to download. Welcome to the wonderful world of dial-up. 

Homer reads Internet For Dummies. 

When the kids go on the hunt for Milhouse they put on war paint, Ralph does his face like Peter Criss of Kiss.

Items on Homer's desk: Drinking Bird (from the episode King Size Homer) / a Newton's Cradle / Cymbal Playing Monkey / A joke voice box / pencils stuck in a stick of butter / perpetual wave machine / assorted office supplies. The only thing not on the desk is a computer.

This was another "Drop The Cow" episode, they came up with a story about the kids being stranded on a tropical island and then didn't have an actual ending so they just did a filler narration and left it at that. Unfortunately not being able to come up with an ending would become a regular problem. There is also the logical problem of how did they go off a bridge and wind up in tropical waters on a deserted island, this episode really stretched the Suspension Of Disbelief. 

The Last Temptation of Krusty

This episode premiered on February 22nd, 1998. It ran in its usual time slot. It was opposite The ABC Family Movie (Casper), The XVIII Winter Olympics Closing Ceremony and Dateline NBC

The title comes from the 1988 movie The Last Temptation Of Christ.

The chalkboard gag is "Pain is not the cleanser" and the couch gag is a repeat of the pants on fire. 

While at the mall the family is invited to a charity comedy show, to fight soil erosion. Bart points out they didn't invite Krusty, the promoter has no idea who that is. Bart goes to the auditorium looking for Jay Leno, Leno thought Krusty died in a grease fire. They call Krusty but he's taking a steam bath at a kid's birthday party. Bart convinces him to do it by saying it counts towards his community service. Krusty does his classic stuff and the only one who laughs is Bart, he gets desperate and turns to his racist Chinese act, everyone is shocked. He's depressed but Bart tries to tell him he was great but the acoustics were bad, however he overhears the rest of the comedians making fun of him. Krusty reads the reviews and they call him a hack, he decides to get really drunk. Bart watches the Krusty show the next day however Kent Brockman shows up to fill in, he does the jokes like a newscaster. When Bart goes outside he finds Rod and Todd poking a passed out Krusty on their front lawn, he drags Krusty into the house. Krusty tries to pull a tack out of his head but he's looking at a poster. He's upset by all the Krusty crap in Bart's room. Jay Leno comes over to help Bart clean up Krusty and give advice on how to modernize his act. Bart does a comedy showcase in the living room and does jokes about Marge, Krusty comes out and tries to be topical, Lisa keeps answering his joke questions. The family walks out on him, he holds a press conference to announce his retirement but when he insults modern comics the reporters start laughing at him, he announces his return. Moe holds a comedy night, it's a 4 drink minimum per customer and Homer promises to cover Marge's share. The audience loves Krusty's new act. As part of his rebellion against the corporate exploitation of celebrities he sets a dollar on fire, soon the whole audience is doing it. A couple of pitchmen try to hire Krusty to sell their new SUV The Canyonero. He's temped by the offer of a free car but kicks them out. At his next show he promotes the car because they offered him a truckload of money. The episode ends with the Canyonero commercial song. 

Mall store Goody New Shoes. The mascot is a spoof on Buster Brown / Fancy Lingerie / All Creatures Great And Cheap (Lisa's Pony) / Fancy Styles / Laugh Till You Care

Gil is the shoe salesman. 

Self Aware Joke: Marge picks out shoes for the kids that are two sizes too big, she says they are way overdue for a growth spirt.

The Laugh 'Til You Care showcase is based on the 1986 fundraisers Comic Relief. The guest comedians are Jay Leno, Janeane Garofalo, Bruce Baum, Bobcat Godthwait and Steven Wright. They all do their own voices.

Spencer Tracy called Krusty the most promising newcomer of 1959. 

Springfield Shopper Headline: Dog Kills Cat, Self. (Kind of dark there)

Neon signs during Krusty's binge: The Gutter Room / Blottos / The Bloated Liver.

Krusty drinks a beer / a 6 pack all at once / a wine bota / sips from a glass slipper / an old boot and the Stanley Cup. 

Bart has a Kamp Krusty banner in his bedroom from the episode of the same name.

When he's giving his retirement speech Krusty reads To An Athlete Dying Young by A. E Houseman

Krusty's new act is styled after George Carlin in his later years.

Krusty meets Leno at Java The Hutt, a Star Wars spoof.

Krusty's Legal Forms "Hey, Hey! They're Binding!"

Best line of the episode: Homer "I didn't know you Jay Leno and a monkey were bathing a clown"

The Canyonero song is sung by Hank Williams Jr. 

Dumbell Indemnity

This episode premiered on March 1st 1998. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O Disney (Pocahontas), Touched By An Angel and Dateline NBC

The name is a reference to the 1944 movie Double Indemnity.

The chalkboard gag "Silly string is not a nasal spray" is and the couch gag is a repeat of the family being squished into a cube.

The kids are having a snowball fight with the ice cream. Homer goes to fix the water heater and ends up causing it to explode and flood the house. When Marge comes home Homer rushes out to Moe's. Moe gets mad at Homer boasting about being married so Homer decides to help Moe get a woman. At a club Moe meets a woman who offers him a Bacardi, he soon realizes that she's working for the rum company. As he is leaving he meets a woman, Renee, running a flower cart, he asks her out. Moe keeps overspending in order to keep Renee interested. Moe's card gets cut off so he tries to call in all the bar tabs, everybody flees. Homer suggests Moe sell his car but it's not worth anything, so Moe talks Homer into stealing it for the insurance money. The plan is for Homer to steal the car while he is at the police moonlight charity cruise, Homer will park the car on the railroad tracks and after it's smashed he collects the insurance money. Homer catches Snake trying to steal the car but stops him. Homer gets distracted by a drive in movie and misses parking the car on the train tracks so he decides to roll the car down a hill and into the bay. When he bails out and accidentally rolls back in and plunges over the cliff. When he comes up out of the water it's right by the boat loaded with the cops. Homer gets arrested but he thinks Moe will help him out. Moe tells Homer that he's going to do the right thing but instead offers to take Renee to Hawaii. Moe sees the ghost of Homer and has a crisis of conscience. Homer gets a book How To Tunnel Out of Prison and hits Moleman over the head with it in order to escape. When Moe comes up with a plan to fake their death Renee leaves him, meanwhile Homer is on the way to kill him. Moe accidentally sets the bar on fire, he and Homer get into a fight and pass out from the smoke. Barney, who was in the restroom the whole time rescues the two of them, and the beer kegs. Homer lets Moe set up shop in the family kitchen. The show ends with One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer by George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers.

Helen Hunt does the voice of Renee. She had been the star of Mad About You which ran opposite The Simpsons for several years.

The club Moe goes to in order to meet women is Stu's Disco. There is a sign out front with picture of Sanjay saying "You must be at least this swarthy to enter". 

Moe and Homer dance to Brick House by the Commodores.

There is a montage of Moe's dates with Renee to the tune of I'm A Believer by the Monkeys

Sea World has changed the name of Shamu to Willy, Free Willy had come out in 1993 and of course there is the irony that the whales are not free. One does escape when Moe is riding it.

Moe has a Player's Club card. These were discount cards for casinos that were promoted by Telly Savalas in a series of commercials in the 1980's.

Springfield Drive-In is showing Hail To The Chimp.

The train going by the drive in theater is based on the photo Hotshot Eastbound by Ogle Winston Link.

Homer's mug shot number is 5F12, which was the production code for the episode. 

Moleman is the prison librarian.

For me this was another off episode, Homer is an escapee from jail and Moe is guilty of insurance fraud and arson, but nothing happens to either of them. Another observation, in the past when the family would go to the basement we'd see the big Aztec head, in this episode the basement scene is just a corner with the water heater. We have entered the Hit and Miss era of The Simpsons. 

Lisa The Simpson

This episode premiered on March 8th, 1998. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the regular programs. The Disney movie was Goldrush: A Real Life Alaskan Adventure.

There is no chalkboard and the couch gag is a plant grows in the living room, the family appears as various fruits and vegetables.

At school the kids complain about their lunches, Lisa brought a prepackaged lunch she bought at the gas station. On the back is a puzzle, the kids all figure it out, except for Lisa. The next day she can't open her locker and  forgot her agriculture project, she makes a pig out of an eraser and push pins. Jasper shows up at the Kwik-E-Mart and cleans out the ice cream freezer, he freezes himself with a note asking to be defrosted when robot wives are cheap and perfected. Lisa has trouble playing her sax, Grandpa tells her it's the Simpson gene and the older she gets the dumber she'll get. She goes to Dr. Hibbert who shows her a movie about DNA. Dr. Nick comes by the Kwik-E-Mart and finds out that Jasper is still alive. The bullies offer Apu $1.20 to see the frozen man, he turns the store into a freak show. Lisa decides to accept her stupidity and goes to watch a show about collapsing buildings with Homer and Bart, then they switch over to When Surgery Goes Wrong. At the Kwik-E-Mart Apu is making money running a freak show but then he sees Jasper start to move so he turns the cooler down to Freezing. Bart and Homer want snacks but it's almost dinner time, Homer has candy hidden in the couch cushion, Lisa imagines her future where she's morbidly obese and married to Ralph with a bunch of stupid children, she insults Bart and Homer. Lisa goes to the museum to see a Miro painting, it turns out the security guard stole the real one and put up the fake, nobody noticed, she then visits the Jazz Hole. Colonel Tex comes to buy Jasper but he defrosts, he thinks he in the future and wanders off. They close the freak show and open the Nude-E-Mart "Topless Dancers! Bottomless Coffee!" Lisa goes on TV claiming she's protesting proposition 305 "bus discounts for war widows", instead she goes on to say she's turning stupid and asks people to read banned books and look at the beauty of nature. Homer calls up his family to prove the Simpsons don't turn stupid. The guys all do mediocre jobs, however the women all turn out to be super smart. Lisa finally figures out the brain teaser on the back of the box.

The couch gag plants, Homer is a gourd, Marge is an asparagus, Bart is a strawberry, Lisa is a pineapple and Maggie is broccoli. This is a spoof on the Christian cartoons Veggie Tales.

Lisa's lunch: Portion Time, Vacuum Packed, vegetarian with Apple Sauce. On the back is Professor Provolone's Picto-Puzzle "What Comes Next? (the answer is six). Ironically smart people tend to overthink simple puzzles so they struggle when us common folk can figure it out.

Med-Films Presents: Someone's In The Kitchen With DNA!

Troy McClure You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesn't Live Anymore and Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?

When Lisa comes downstairs to watch TV Homer offers her a seat on the couch and says "Room for one more" This is a reference to the Twilight Zone episode Twenty Two. This joke was also used in the episode There's No Disgrace Like Homer. 

When Buildings Collapse: Old Printers' Home / Leanin' Tower of Pizza / Society of Structural Engineers / The House of Usher (Poe reference)

Apu's freak show: See the Incredible Siamese Hot Dog / Astounding Rubber Check / The Can Of Mystery / The Haunted Cash Machine "Dispenses Images Of Dead Presidents" / The Offensive Baseball Cap, Do you dare read it? "Show Me Your T...." / Behold Fostillicus (Jasper)

At the Nude-E-Mart they play That's The Way I Like It by KC and the Sunshine Band. 

On Disney+ this is episode 3 for the 9th season instead of 17. Thankfully I go by the Wikipedia list and was able to do it in the proper release order. 

In the Hit and Miss era of The Simpsons this one was a foul tip for me. Although I found it entertaining it was a Lisa heavy episode and as I've said before she isn't my favorite character. Once again she talks down to the rest of the family and tries to prove how smart she is. Just annoying. I'd like to also point out the scene where Grandpa take Lisa to the attack to see an old photo of Homer winning the First Grade Spelling Bee. In previous shows the attic and basement would be full of "Easter Eggs" from past episodes. In this one it's just an empty space, a few scattered boxes but nothing clever for the fans to say "Hey, isn't that Homer's (thing) from the time the family (did something or went somewhere)? I understand the cost of animation but it just felt like they weren't even trying. 

Woo Hoo, 195 episodes down. I'm almost up to an even number and ever closer to the end. The end that is pretty far away. Me and my stupid ideas.

 The Simpsons 186-190

Lisa The Skeptic

This episode premiered on November 23, 1997. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and it was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (The Santa Clause), Touched By An Angle and The NBC Sunday Night Movie (Legends Of The Fall).

The chalkboard gag is "I will not tease fatty" and the couch gag is the family runs into the (sauna) living room wearing towels but there are three guys already on the couch so they turn around and walk back out.

The Springfield Police department is holding a "Boat Giveaway Today" however it's a sting to catch people with outstanding fines or warrants. Despite the family's warning Homer shows up. Snake is ahead of him and even though you can see him being arrested Homer still goes through the door to the back room. He owes $175 dollars in unpaid fines and writes a check (remember writing checks?) but still wants his boat. On the way home they drive by the construction of the new mall, naturally Lisa complains about the potential destruction of fossils. She hires Lionel Hutz to go to the mall contractors, they tell her the place was fully excavated by the museum but they decide to let her do her dig. She goes to Skinner and forces the school to sponsor her dig, the smart kids are going on a field trip and the bad kids are going for detention. After a day of digging they find nothing and plan to give up but Lisa uncovers a skull, upon further excavation they find a skeleton with wings. Lisa tries to explain it away but the people think it's an angel. While the town is trying to figure out who owns the fossil Homer loads it in his car and drives it home. First Ned asks to pray at the angel, then Agnes wants to rub her foot on it before going in for surgery. Pretty much all of town shows up, Lenny offer to pay a buck so Homer gets the idea to charge 50¢ per person. At night Lisa sneaks into the garage and chips off part of the angel to take to the Natural History Museum. The next day Dr. Gould comes running up to the house to tell Lisa the results were inconclusive, and he needs to use the restroom. Everyone mocks Lisa so she goes on to Smartline and pretty much insults the entire town, they turn into a mob and ransack the Museum and Robotics Lab, they also burn down the Christian Science Reading Room. Lisa decides the only way to end the madness is to destroy the angel but when she goes to the garage it's gone, Homer is upset because he has 10,000 souvenir ashtrays. The police arrest Lisa and she goes to court for destruction of a historical artifact. Just as the trial starts Lenny spots the angel on a nearby hill. On the base of the angle is a message "The end will come at sundown" so everyone prepares for the apocalypse. At sundown the town gathers on the hill, Smithers kisses Burns. The sun goes down and nothing happens, Lisa starts mocking them when a voice cries out "Silence, prepare for the end....of high prices." The angel rises up and then rolls down the hill on a guide wire to the Heavily Hills Mall, then entire thing had been a publicity stunt. Lisa is angry but everyone else is in a hurry to check out the new mall, Wiggum is excited that they have a Pottery Barn. Marge tells Lisa that she was right, but noticed that Lisa had a tight grip on her hand. 

Stephen Jay Gould Ph.D does his own voice. 

While driving to the police station Homer sings Up Up And Away by the 5th Dimension but swaps out balloon with boat.

In the excavation scene they do a spoof on the road gang from Cool Hand Luke and the sun bearing down from Raiders Of The Lost Ark. 

Valuables in Homer's closet. His fishing hat and bag (Call Of The Simpsons), Bowling trophy (Team Homer) Mr. Plow jacket (Mr. Plow) Town crier hat and bell (Lisa the Iconoclast), Billy Beer 6-pack (The Otto Show), Boxing Gloves (The Homer They Fall), Farmer Homer's Sweet Sweet Sugar bag (Lisa's Rival), Cowboy Hat (Colonel Homer), Mr Sparkle box (In Marge We Trust) Itchy robot heads (Itchy And Scratchyland)

Natural History Museum sign: Now Hiring Stuffers.

Lisa appears, for the 13th time, on Smartline. 

At the Vatican the Pope is reading La Stampa, which translates to The Print. 

The fake skeleton is based on other such fakes like Piltdown Man and the Cardiff Giant.

Lisa's trial is based on the Scopes Monkey Trial aka Religion vs. Science.

In the episode Lemon Of Troy Bart says "This town ain't so bad. Good friends, lots of lemons, numerous angel sightings"

The Boat Giveaway was based on real traps the police would set for people with outstanding warrants. It was also in the movie Sea Of Love where the police catch a number of criminals by telling them they've won a chance to meet the New York Yankees.

This was another episode in which Lisa was extra annoying. It reminded me of why she's my least favorite character.

Realty Bites

This episode premiered on December 7th 1997. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O. Disney (1994's Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book), Touched By An Angle and All Star TV Bloopers.

The title of this episode comes from the 1994 movie Reality Bites.

The chalkboard gag is "There was no Roman god named Fartacus" and the couch gag is the family sits on the couch and then the entire room is spun to make a mixed color image (Matt Groening's real hand is in the scene)

Homer is enjoying a lazy Saturday when Marge reminds him that it's Wednesday so he has to rush to work. Cut to the real Saturday where Marge is bored with her life. In order to make her happy Homer takes her out, to the police auction. Homer buy's Snakes car L'il Bandit, when he drives like a maniac Marge insists on getting out. While walking home she runs into Lionel Hutz who is selling homes, she decides to get her real estate license. To help her learn the laws Lisa has Marge learn through song, Camp Town Ladies and The Old Folks At Home. Marge passes the test and when she gets home Bart is holding a sign that says "Better luck next time" but he flips it over to "congratulations".  Marge goes to work for Hutz but she's too honest and can't make any sales. Homer is abusing the car so Snake escapes from prison to get it back. Marge tries to sell a house to the Flanders but has trouble telling lies, she ends up selling them the Murder House (many states have laws that require a real estate agents to disclose murders or suicides). After the Flanders move in Marge has an attack of conscience and goes to tell them the truth. She finds them laying on the floor covered in red, it turns out to be paint. Meanwhile Homer and Snake get into a fight on the car. The Flanders don't mind that they are living in the murder house but that's when Homer crashes into the house, followed by Wiggum, the entire house collapses. Hutz gets mad at Marge for returning the check so he fires her. Homer drives her to the unemployment office where she gets $300 a week.

Marge's job at the real estate company is based on the 1992 movie Glengarry Glen Ross. The character of Gil is based on Sheldon who was played by Jack Lemmon. Gil was meant to be a one and done character but after the death of Phil Hartman he became a replacement for the everyman character.

This episode introduces both Gil and Cookie Kwan, Number one on the west side. It also introduces Barbara, Sideshow Mel's wife. 

Real Estate Test: $75 or best offer.

Simpson regulars taking the real estate test: Luanne Van Houten, Helen Lovejoy and the Sea Captain.

Red Blazer Reality "The 6% commission people" This is a spoof on Century 21

The prison gate, which is unlocked, has a sign that says "No Escaping Please"

Newspaper Clipping: Gruesome Murders At Socialite's House. Mrs. Astor Safe. (This is a take on the Titanic headline after the iceberg disaster)

When Snake ties a wire across the road to decapitate Homer it's a spoof on the Roadrunner cartoons complete with Acme Piano Wire. It's also a take on when Steve McQueen gets a motorcycle in the 1963 movie The Great Escape. Kirk Van Houten drives by and cuts off his arm. 

Ned uses a U-Break-It Van Rentals for moving into the Murder House.

Homer sings Luka by Susan Vega. 

In the memo blank on his check Ned wrote "For making our dream come true"

When Marge finds the Flanders laying on the floor covered in red paint Todd Flanders says "red room, red room" while wiggling his finger, this a spoof of The Shining. 

Wiggum reports a 318, waking a police officer.

People at the unemployment office. Lurleen Lumpkin, Larry Burns, Jimbo, An animator from Itchy And Scratchy, Kirk Van Houten (with his arm sewn back on), George Bush sr. 

On a note, when Homer and Snake are fighting in the car the animators do the background trick in which they repeat the same image over and over. The show was becoming more cartoonish at this point and you could feel the effort to be clever slipping. 

Miracle on Evergeen Terrace

This episode premiered on December 21st 1997. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O. Disney ( Flash), Touched By An Angel and Dateline NBC.

The title is taken from the 1947 movie Miracle On 34th Street.

The chalkboard gag is "Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related" and the couch gag is the family is in a giant snow globe that someone shakes up. 

Homer waits until Christmas Eve to go shopping. Instead of fighting his way through the crowds he pretend to open a register and takes other people's toys. He falls off the roof while trying to put up the lights. Marge takes everyone's alarm clocks so that nobody can get up early to open presents, Bart drinks 8 glasses of water so he'll have to get up. He has a dream about wet things and cheerleaders saying "Give me a P", he's up at 5:04 AM. He gets a remote control fire truck but sprays water on an overloaded wall socket and sets the tree on fire, it and all the presents are melted into a giant blob. He drags the mess into the yard and buries it under the snow, then tells the family a burglar broke in and stole everything. Seeing everyone else enjoying their Christmas makes the family miserable. Kent Brockman does a report from the Simpson's house about the "burglary". Everybody in town shows up donate money to the family it comes to $15,000. The family buys a new car (imagine being able to buy a car for $15k). On the way home Homer loses control and the car spins into the middle of a pond, sinks and then blows up. Bart confesses what really happened, the family gets into a giant fight but just then Kent shows up to do a follow up story, however SLH finds the melted tree and the family's lies are exposed on TV. The family goes to Krusty Burger but everyone leaves, Homer is happy because they are at the head of the line. Mrs. Hoover refuses to teach Lisa and makes her turn her desk around. Homer rushes into the break room to warn everyone of a disaster but they think he's just out to steal their snacks, as toxic gas comes pouring in. The family gets a stack of hate mail. To get the money back Marge goes on Jeopardy but ends up at           -$5200, Alex Trebek demands the money so they have to run. When the family gets home from the show the mob, including Trebek, is at their house and have forgiven the family, after taking all their stuff. (The Simpsons run into the living room to find the couch gone, a second couch gag in the episode) In the end the family fights over the last washcloth. Santa's On His Way by Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys plays over the closing credits.

Alex Trebek did his own voice for the episode. He passed away in 2020.

Best line of the episode Bart taking about Homer's Christmas lighting job "It's crap-tacular"

After going to the restroom on Christmas morning Bart says "How sweet it is", this is Jackie Gleason's catchphrase.

Homer is wearing a nightcap. This is a reference to the 1823 Clement Clark Moore poem A Visit From St. Nicholas

Eddie the police officer is wearing a Santa hat while he shoots crime scene photos and Lou is wearing a Christmas tree tie.

Milhouse gets a Tickle Me Krusty doll. This is a spoof on the Tickle Me Elmo doll which became the holiday craze of 1996. "Hey kid, get your finger out of there." Homer hits Milhouse with a snowball.

The scene at the nursing home features the seniors hopped up on pills and dancing, it's a spoof on the dancing scene in A Charlie Brown Christmas. Jingle Bell Rocks by Bobby Helms plays in the background.

The scene with the town showing up to donate to the Simpson's is a take on It's A Wonderful Life, complete with Homer yelling at Lisa for playing Hark The Herald Angle Sings on the piano.

Barney is driving his Plow King snow plow from the episode Mr. Plow

Springfield Shopper headline: Simpsons Scam Springfield. Angry Mob Mulls Options.

Someone wrote I Keell You on the Simpsons car. This is a reference to a wiffle ball bat in the Simpson's writers room.

The first time I watched this episode it felt like a slight miss, something was just off. Little did I realize that it was a premonition of things to come. There is an expression from Monty Python, Drop The Cow, it refers to a sketch that goes on for too long and they need to end it, so they drop a cow on someone. This episode felt that way, like the writers had gotten in deep but didn't know how to end it, so they came up with the raiding the house followed by the washcloth gag in order to wrap up the story in the shortest way possible, aka Drop The Cow. Hang on, because there will be more episodes like this coming up.

This was also the last episode of 1997. There is a dark cloud on the Simpsons horizon but we'll be getting to that when it happens. Meanwhile we are heading into 1998, a year I made a major change in my life and started drifting away from being a regular viewer of The Simpsons. 

All Singing, All Dancing

This episode premiered on January 4th 1998. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and was followed by Ask Harriet (a short lived sitcom about a fired writer who pretends to be a woman to get a job writing an advice column. That wouldn't go over well in the modern Republican Party) The program ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Principal Take A Holiday), Touched By An Angel and All Star Bloopers.

There is no chalkboard gag and the couch gag is the living room rug is a treadmill. Everyone but Homer gets on the couch but he falls down and yells "Marge stop this crazy thing".

The title refers to the pitch line for the 1929 movie The Broadway Melody.

Homer goes to the video store to rent Waiting To Exhale but there is a waiting list, Lisa wanted Emma but they didn't get that either. Instead they get Paint Your Wagon because Homer thinks it's a shoot-em-up western but, if you don't know, it's a musical. Homer gets mad and the episode turns into a singing show with clips of other musical scenes in past programs. Halfway though the show Snake shows up with a gun and starts singing along but runs away because they are too weird. He shows back up and plans to kill the Simpsons in order to stop singing but he's out of ammo so he leaves again. Snake comes back but the family tells him they are done with their singing so he leaves again. When Marge starts humming he takes a shot at her. He also threatens the closing credits and the Shhhh lady.

Clips on the show:

Baby On Board (Homer's Barbershop Quartet)

The Spring In Springfield (Bart After Dark)

Springfield Springfield (Boy-Scoutz 'n The Hood)

Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart (Homer and Apu)

Send In The Clowns (Krusty Gets Kancelled)

See My Vest (Two Dozen and One Greyhounds)

Monorail (Marge vs. The Monorail)

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly. (Bart Sells His Soul)

We Do (Homer The Great)

I can't believe they skipped perhaps one of the best original Simpsons songs, I Hate Every Chimp I See from A Fish Called Selma.

The couch gag is a reference to the opening of the Jetsons, complete with the flying car sound, where George gets stuck on Astro's walkway and calls to Judy to "stop this crazy thing".

The Simpson version of Paint Your Wagon features Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef (who wasn't in the musical but in plenty of other westerns) and Lee Marvin. They sing and dance while painting a wagon.

Self aware joke, the family sings the only thing worse is "when a long running series does a cheesy clip show"

Banner: The Simpsons Clip Show #4 5F24

This episode would spark an argument among Simpsons fans but that wouldn't be for another 23 years. Be sure to mark this one for when we refer back to it.

As far as the Simpsons go there are shows I love, like and have mixed feeling about. When this one comes on I skip it. It is, to date, my second least favorite. Perhaps the worst part is the repeated appearance of Snake for no real reason. There is an episode I consider at the bottom of my overall list but it hasn't come up yet. I only watched it this time around because I said I was going to watch them all. Why did I say that again? 

Bart Carny

This episode premiered on January 11th, 1998. The lead in was the NFC Championship (Green Bay 23, San Francisco 10) and was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney, Touched By An Angel and The NBC Sunday Night Movie (The Fugitive)

The title of this episode is based on Art Carney, the actor best known for playing Ed Norton on The Honeymooners. 

There isn't a chalkboard gag and the couch gag is as the family runs in the couch is suddenly pulled back and they fall on the floor, Nelson pop up from behind it and does his "Ha-Ha"

SLH won't go outside because the back yard is a mess, the kids are suppose to be cleaning it but instead they are laying around in the living room. When they demand their allowance Marge forces them to go out and get to work. The kids give up because the work is too hard so Marge refuses to give them their allowance, they say they don't need it but just then a carnival rolls past the front window, they are in a conundrum until Homer rushes in and gives them all the money they want. At the carnival Bart climbs into Hitler's car to find the flamethrower but releases the parking break, the car rolls into a tree. The Texan insist Bart work off his debt, Homer asks to get a job too. Bart has to shovel horse poop and Homer works at the dunking booth even though the water is too shallow. They are about to do the geek show where they bite the heads off live chickens but get sent to work the ring toss where they discover that the blocks are too big for the rings. Seymour tries to win his mother a lamp but she complain so he tries to win a military knife instead. Wiggum shows up and hints around about a bribe but Homer doesn't figure it out, the booth is impounded and Cooter and his son Spud are homeless. To make it up to them Homer invites them to his house. To thank the Simpsons Cooter gives them tickets to a glass bottom boat ride, Bart and Homer tease a shark through the glass. When the Simpsons get home they discover the windows have been boarded over, the door locks have been changed and Cooter wrote his name on the mail box. Wiggum won't help the Simpsons since Homer refused to pay the bribe a the carnival. The family is forced to move into the tree house. Marge asks for ideas to get the house back, everyone suggests setting it on fire. Homer offers Cooter a deal, if he can toss a hula hoop over the chimney he gets the house back, if he fails he signs the deed to Cooter. Homer carefully lines up his shot and then the family runs inside locking Cooter and Spud out. Cooter says there's no shame in being beaten by the best, when his son objects he repeats "beaten by the best". When Homer feels sorry for Cooter and wants to let him back Marge reminds him of his ass groove in the couch so he gets to work getting it back in shape. Groove Me Baby by King Floyd plays over the closing credits. 

Jim Varney does the voice of Cooter. He is was best known for the Ernest P. Worrell character. The Simpsons had done a spoof on several of his movies including Ernest Needs A Kidney in the episode Bart The Lover and Ernest Goes Somewhere Cheap in the Cape Feare episode. Jim Varney passed away in 2000.

Colonel Tex's Traveling Carnival. The operator of the carnival is the Yee Haw Texan.

The carnival has a virtual yard work simulator. Marge gets mad when Bart wants to play that instead of doing real yard work.

Carnival Rides: The Tooth Chipper, The Screamatorium

One of the prizes at the ring toss is a Dumont TV, "The appliance everyone is talking about". Dumonts were built to receive UHF signals to get around the FCC's attempt to limit broadcasts to just the Big Three. The Dumont network ran from 1946 to 1956.

While promoting the Hitler's car exhibit the Yee Haw Texan says it was the first car to come with Fahrvergnugen, this was a word Volkswagen used to promote their cars in their 1990's commercials. The car is a spoof on the number of Bonnie And Clyde "death cars" that were on exhibit over the years. 

When Bart wrecks Hitler's car Nelson says "What did he ever do to you?" and punches Bart. 

Humphrey the talking camel is at the carnival.

Edvard Grieg's Morning Mood plays during the sunrise over the carnival. This is a take on the scene from Disney's Fantasia.

The caramel apple bucket is labeled Barf to scare off thieves. Homer tests it out by taking a drink.

Stuff seen through the glass bottom boat: Cans, shopping carts, muffler, L'il Lisa Slurry barrel (from the episode The Old Man And The Lisa), car battery, tire, nuclear waste barrel, The Athena, sister ship to the current glass bottom boat tour. The SS Athena was the first British ship sunk by the Germans in WWII.

I consider the previous episode, All Singing, All Dancing, to be the second worst Simpson episode so I had high hopes for the next one...and I was disappointed, another miss for me. Most of the jokes fell flat, the stereotype of carnival workers as criminals was cringy and again, the ending felt kind of tacked on, Dropped The Cow as it were. Yep, we've reached the dark years of the Simpsons. 

We've come to the end of another 5 episodes of the Simpsons I'm not looking forward to then next couple of decades. And the end...isn't anywhere in site since they started making more. What happened to the rumor about the final season? Someone better have some answer.

In which I review The New Doctor Who

I just finished watching The Giggle and I have mixed feelings about the show. As far as the New Doctor goes I'm a "wait and see" kind of person, after all there have been plenty of replacements over the decades and usually they start off with the fans saying "I like the current Doctor, why do they have to replace them? I know I'm going to hate the new Doctor" and then they repeat it every time the show changes the face. Considering the new Doctor usually shows up at the end of an episode and hasn't been on any adventures yet I think that's stilly, at least watch them in action first.

And to give a little perspective, I liked Jodie Whittaker just fine but I felt the scripts were heavy handed on their "social messages", so I drifted away from the show, but I've enjoyed the last three episodes which were classic, just for fun storylines, although I have to wonder how many people realized that the Toymaker's description of humanity was about them? I mean I saw myself in that (this review being an example). 

But, and now for the complaint, I also feel that when a show establishes a set of rules for the characters they should stick to the rules. Sure, when they first came up with "regeneration" they said there would only be 13 Doctors and because they never planned for the series to run as long as it did the modern writers had to find a way around that so I forgive them for that, but the Two For One Doctors? I'm not a fan of a show suddenly declaring "well here's a thing that exists but we never talked about it until it was convenient to the plot and got us out of a writing jam". Plus there's the question about how will the stories go from here, will there be two different plots with each Doctor covering a different event in a solo episode? Will they be crossing paths on a regular basis? Will the Classic Doctor be in suspended animation until he's needed by the New Doctor? And who will end up saving Earth next Christmas? I think they are trying to appease everyone with "you get your classic Doctor Who and you get the new and improved Doctor Who" and when you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one. But like I said, wait and see. 

So, I can't really say if I liked the outcome of The Giggle or not. I guess I'll have to check out a couple more episodes before I pass judgement. 

Oh, and Neil Patrick Harris was great as The Toymaker. Campy but not too far over the top. He knew the show he was on and the character he was playing, hokey and menacing at the same time. And let's be honest, the weeping doll was genuinely nightmare fuel, sleep well tonight Doctor Who fans.

 Indiana Jones and the Review From Me.

This weekend I watched Indiana Jones and the Dial Of Destiny and like anyone else on the internet I felt that it was my right, nay my duty to review it. I can get away with this because nobody really cares what I put in my blog thus no negative feedback. Since the movie came out in theaters in June and on streaming a week ago I figure people have seen it so this post will be full of spoilers. Advance at your own discretion. 

 The film opens during the collapse of the Third Reich in 1944, or as I like to call it 

Indiana Jones and the Facelift Of CGI

Indy has been captured by the Germans and is about to be hanged, but is saved by a bomb attack, or as I like to call it: 

 Indiana Jones and the Escape Scene From The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

The Germans are loading stolen loot onto a train bound for Berlin. Indy sneaks on board because he's looking for The Lance of Longinus or The Spear of Destiny, you know, the artifact from the movie Constantine (that featured Shia LaBeouf) or as I like to call it:

 Indiana Jones and the Easter Eggs From Another Movie

(note, Indiana Jones Meets Constantine is a movie I would pay to watch)

It turns out that there is an even more valuable artifact on the train, The Antikythera otherwise known as The Dial Of Destiny. It is a device created by the Greek mathematician and engineer Archimedes that guides you to wormholes through time. Archimedes considered it so dangerous that he smashed it into a thousand pieces and destroyed all evidence of his work. I'm kidding, he broke it into two parts and hid it leaving behind a bunch of clues or as I like to call it:

 Indiana Jones and the Plot From Hudson Hawk

Anyhow the Germans on the train realize there is a bullet hole through Indy's jacket and try to stop him, however he keeps making miraculous escapes because they can't figure out how to get through locked doors. Meanwhile his partner, Basil Shaw, just happens to get the Dial and then a really really really really long fight scene breaks out between Indy, a German officer and the German Scientist who wants the dial, while pretty much the entire Allied Air Corps attacks the train including dropping bombs directly onto it, or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and the Train That Defies The Laws Of Physics

Seriously, the train bridge is bombed and even though it's is going full speed only the engine crashes and none of the cars derail. So after a long long long long fight scene Basil and Indy escape. 

Fast forward 25 years and Indy is a burned out, about to retire professor teaching the exact same ancient Greek history lesson he's given a hundred times to a bunch of disinterested college students. Considering this is suppose to be 1969 you'd think the students would be arguing with the old professor about the glorification of war and the squandering of the budget on military weapons but instead they just want to go see the Moon astronauts. Lets be honest, the reason the students are seen as disinterested is because they are suppose to represent the modern audience or as I like to call it:

 Indiana Jones Meets Gen X

This is when Helena, professor Shaw's daughter, shows up, or as I like to call her:

 Indiana Jones and I Hope This Isn't Who They Got To Replace Him

Anyhow the bad guys also show up and in order to get the Dial the German scientist wants no witnesses so the henchmen randomly start shooing university personal, naturally Helena gets away with the Dial and Indy gets accused of committing the murders, or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and the Plot Of Three Days Of The Condor

(btw, you should really check out Three Days Of The Condor, it's a great thriller featuring Robert Redford in his prime)

Anyhow Indy gets captured by the bad guys but escapes into a parade leading to a really really really long chase scene (at one point he's riding a horse through the subway, no seriously), or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and the Easter Egg From Another Movie Part II

(note, it's the parade that is the Easter Egg, not the horse)

Indy runs into Salla, who moved to NYC during WWII, and not only does he save Indy but he also just happens to have the very information that Indy needs about how Helena is going to a specific hotel in Tangier to hold a black market antiques auction (even though she just got the Dial less than 12 hours earlier) or as I like to call it:

 Indiana Jones and the Not So Coincidental Cameo

Jones goes to Tangier to recover the Dial before Helena can sell it and while there he meets her sidekick, a kid with a back story so familiar that he could have been called:

 Indiana Jones and Shortround 2.0

Indy shows up at the auction and even though he's outgunned he manages to escape and goes on a really really really long and wild car chase scene, or as I like to call it:

 Indiana Jones and the Oh So Convenient Alley Escapes

(The problem is that it goes on for so long that I drifted off and stopped paying attention so I lost track of who had the Dial)

The bad guys get away with the device but they get captured by the CIA, however they shoot their way out and then go after Indy who just happens to be in the middle of the Aegean Sea, or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and the What? Do They Have Some Kind Of 1969 GPS Tracker Or Something Because How Else Could They Find A Boat In the Middle Of The Aegean?

Anyhow the good guys recover a clue from a sunken Roman boat that leads them to the next part of the Dial but the bad guys have seized the boat and killed everyone, so Helena gives them bad directions based on the clue Archimedes left behind, or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and the Plot Of National Treasure

Then Indy and Helena escape in what I like to call:

Indiana Jones and Dynamite Doesn't Work That Way

Indy and Helena jump onto the bad guy's boat leaving them behind but the German Scientist manages to deduce where they are really going by watching the direction they sail off in or what I like to call:

Indiana Jones and the Conveniently Slow Sinking Boat That Had A Stick Of Dynamite Go Off Below Deck

Indy and Helen figure out they have to go to the lost tomb of Archimedes in Sicily, or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and The Plot Of Tomb Raider 

The bad guys just happen to show up and grab the kid. So Indy and Helena have to get to the tomb, find all the clues, get past the obstacles and recover the second part of the Dial first, or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and the "I'm To Old For This Shit"

The bad guys show up and manage to get all the parts of the Dial and set their evil plan into motion or as I like to call it:

Indiana Jones and Beyond The Edge Of The Suspension Of Disbelief

Unbelievable stuff happens and then Indy wakes up back in 1969, followed by:

Indiana Jones and the Cameo We All Saw Coming Because We Saw Star Wars part 7.

There are no post credit scenes. 

Anyhow in the end when they get to the conclusion of the bad guy's plans we find that this whole thing could have been called:

Indiana Jones and the OMG! Amy Farrah Fowler Was Right, If Indy Had Stayed Home The Conclusion Of The Bad Guy's Plan Would Have Been The Same.

So my final review of:

Indiana Jones and I Hope They Fired The Editor Who Needed To Cut The 154 Minutes Run Time With Shorter Chase Scenes, Fight Scenes, Cave Exploration Scenes And So Forth.

is it's not a bad film and it's better than The Crystal Skull, but it's too long, lack the humor the original three films had and quite frankly I would have rather watched a movie with a younger actor playing Indy in a much more interesting adventure than some attempt to create The Next (Female) Indiana Jones in order to play to Modern Sensibilities and deliver The Message that Hollywood thinks audiences want, all classic Male action heroes need to be replaced by Women. All things considered I don't think we'll be seeing another sequel but if we do we can be assured that it will probably be like where the Pink Panther series went after Peter Sellers passed away. 

So that's my review. Now I think I'll go watch a couple of episodes of The Simpsons.

 So I stepped in it and now I have to give a lengthy explanation of my position. Namely, Doctor Who and Sir Isaac Newton. 

Oh look, Doctor Who is back! The story isn't about the environment, or toxic masculinity or racism, instead it's about aliens and how the Doctor, plus Donna, have to use their intelligence to overcome them. Thank goodness....except.

There is a throw away joke in The Wild Blue Yonder, hardly important and if they had cut it from the show nobody would have noticed, instead it sparked a major argument in which everyone has to take a side, even people who don't watch the actual show. The TARDIS crashes into a tree, an apple tree, the very apple tree Sir Issac Newton just happens to be sitting under. Donna then makes a comment about "the gravity of the situation" and Newton is inspired to create his greatest scientific achievement, the theory of relativity. So what's the problem? Sir Issac Newton is played by a Black actor.

And why does this become a problem, the catalyst for a major argument? Because it's part of The Message. In modern entertainment The Message is "All White Guys Are Evil Or Weak". Where once your villains were strong and clever, Darth Vader or Goldfinger, now they are wimpy, often stumbling into their position of power or even using the power from others, that guy in Ghostbusters 2016 who was such an invisible character I don't even know his name and figured out all his evil stuff from Kristen Wigg's character's book, or the guy in Wonder Woman 1984 who spent most of his time crying about his disastrous life and was defeated with "gasp" the truth. 

Then we come to historical White guys who are depicted as slave owners, dictators or colonizers, because this is The Message. Sure, plenty of them did evil things, I'm looking at you Andrew Jackson and your whole Trail Of Tears, but even guys who were 99% good come under attack because it fits The Message, all White guys are evil.

And thus, Doctor Who and a silly throw away joke. Who is the joke about? Sir Issac Newton. He never owned slaves, he didn't commit mass genocide, he basically advanced scientific theories by leaps and bounds and was the father of modern mathematics. And this becomes a problem for The Message because how can they depict a decent real White guy from history? Oh, make him Black and make sure his greatest scientific creation was inspired by a comment from a woman. Whew, The Message has been saved.

Sigh, perhaps it's just me but I'm tired of The Message. I quit religion because every Sunday I'd go to church and they'd tell me I was evil and going to hell. It didn't matter if I didn't commit any evil acts and did exactly what they said, they were still going to tell me about my one way ticket to eternal damnation. So instead of going to church every Sunday I started sleeping in, and was a lot more happy about it. 

I really wanted to enjoy a return to classic Doctor Who, outrageous story lines, somewhat hokey aliens, saving the planet based on wit and common sense instead of military might. Instead I had to put up with The Message that the only way to depict a good White guy from history was to make him Black. I was instantly taken out of the story and once again forced into the modern PC world. No thanks, I'll stick with classic James Bond and you can say "OK Boomer" all you want, I don't care, I plan on crawling out of bed late on Sunday morning and not hating all historical White guys while I'm doing it. 

I doubt I walked my way out of the controversy because now people will be complaining that it's just fiction, I'm being to sensitive and so forth but these are the same people who wanted to cancel culture Jimmy Kimmel for doing a bit about Karl Malone. 

 The Simpsons 181-185

Lisa's Sax

This episode premiered on October 19th 1997. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and it was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite Sabrina The Teen Age Witch, Touched By An Angel and Game 2 of the 1997 World Series (Indians 6-Marlins 2)

The chalkboard gag is "I No Longer Want My MTV" and the couch gag is the family appears as Russian nesting dolls starting off with Homer. Only the top halves go on the couch with the bottom half remaining standing. Maggie is left with the rest of the legs.

The show starts with a take on the opening credits of All In The Family with Marge playing the piano and her and Homer singing a Simpsons version of Those Were The Days. References including The Bee Gees, John Travolta movies, Elvis' weight, Gentle Ben, Sheriff Lobo, the song Disco Duck, Fleetwood Mac, Eight track tapes, Michael Jackson (still was Black) "The Simpsons is filmed in front of a live studio audience" Homer calls Bart "Meathead". Bart is watching Krusty the Klown Story (Booze, Drugs, Guns, Lies, Blackmail and Laughter), with Fyvush Finkel as Krusty (Finkel did his own voice). Homer gets mad at Lisa for practicing her sax so he sends Bart to stop her. They fight over it and Bart throws it out the window, it gets run over by a car, a truck and Nelson stomps on it while shouting Ha Ha! The sax is destroyed so Homer tells the story about why they bought in the first place. They flash back to 1990 when the Artist Formerly Known as Prince was know as Prince. Bart is getting ready for his first day of school, Lisa spells STAR with her blocks, when it's knocked down it spells RATS (this is a reference to Charlie Brown's catchphrase when things go wrong). On his first day Bart gets told he's not college material and is yelled at for walking on the grass. They cut to Marge and Homer singing about Bart's first day of school, a repeat of the All In The Family song. Homer flashes back to when his father gave him beer as a child, he and Barney have a crash with their toy wagon and swear off beer forever (we know how that turned out). Marge takes up the story and starts talking about Bart again, Lisa gets mad. When they take Bart to the school psychologist he says it's not unusual for a child with so many flamboyant Homosexual tendencies to be having trouble, however he's reading from Milhouse's file. Lisa completes a puzzle and the psychologist tests her and finds out she's gifted. The psychologist recommends sending Lisa to an advanced preschool however the tuition is $6000. In the present Homer says that the family was suffering a crisis, Bart was miserable at school and Lisa's gifts were going to waste, the family points out that nothing has changed, Marge adds that the family is driving her crazy. Grandpa shows up and starts telling the story about the year nineteen aught six but falls asleep. In 1990 Springfield is suffering through a heatwave. Marge wants to use the air conditioner money for something to encourage Lisa's gift but Homer won't have anything to do with it, instead he steals Ned's air conditioner. At school when Bart feels he's at his lowest he meets Milhouse and makes a fart sound, he becomes the class clown. Skinner tries to get Bart to quit acting up and gives him the opportunity to straighten out, Bart says "eat my shorts". Homer plans to go get a new air conditioner which just happen to be on sale for $200, however Lisa is standing in front of King Toots looking at the musical instruments. Homer asks for a sign that musical instruments are a way to encourage a gifted child, just then the owner puts that exact sign in the window. Homer says "eh, works for me" The saxophone costs $200 so Homer has to make a decision, encourage Lisa's gift or buy the air conditioner, he goes with the sax. Homer has it inscribed "To Lisa, never forget your daddy loves d'oh", he just dropped it on his foot. In the present  they finally saved up money for an air conditioner but instead they buy a new sax, Homer has it inscribed "Dear Lisa, May your new saxophone bring you years of d'oh!". Lisa plays Baker Street with a montage of her playing in past episodes. The episode ends with a jazz sax version of the theme song. 

The chalkboard gag is the first since May 4th 1997, Homer's Enemy. It is a reference to the 1982 advertising campaign MTV put out to convince cable companies to carry the station. In '97 MTV was changing its lineup with more regular programs, reality shows and less actual music. 

Bart is watching The WB Network. The singing frog, Michigan J. Frog,  presents "another bad show that no one will see". WB was the Warner Brothers attempt to create a Fox style network. It ran from 1995 to 2006 when it merged with UPN to create the CW network.

In the Krusty The Klown movie he's married to Mia Farrow, a spoof on Woody Allen's marriage, without the "ending up with his adopted daughter."

When Lisa's sax gets run over a guy wearing a rain slicker while riding a tricycle runs into it but falls over, this is from the bit Artie Johnson would do on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In.

Self Aware Joke: When Homer is talking about the year 1990 he mentions the Tracy Ullman show that included crudely drawn filler material. 

While Bart is getting ready for his first day of school Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry plays. 

On his first day of school Able told Homer he was as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly, if a stranger offers him a ride, take it.

Marge offers to read Bart a book, Curious George and the Ebola Virus. 

Homer is watching Twin Peaks. He has no idea what is going on. I felt the same way and watched something else. 

Dr. Hibbert is dressed like Mr. T complete with a Mohawk and gold chains. 

Dr. J. Loren Pryor is the School Psychologist. He first appeared in the episode Bart The Genius.

Homer imagines Lisa wining the Nobel Prize but adds kick boxing to it so it's more interesting. 

The puzzle Lisa works at the psychologist's office is the Taj Mahal. 

Miss Tillingham's School For Snotty Girls and Mama's Boys. In the background is a child painting Rene Magritte's Son Of Man.

When Marge suggests going to the museum to encouraging Lisa's gift Homer imagines playing Foosball with Michelangelo's David and Edvard Munch's The Scream.

When Homer asks Marge to name one famous person who lived without air conditioning she says Balzac, Homer thinks she's cursing. Honore de Balzac was a famous French author.

Snowball I appears in this episode, it's an actual white cat.

Continuity errors, even though the events are taking place 5 years earlier Rod and Todd are the same age as the present day. Since the episode Lisa's Pony the King Toots music shop has been next door to Moe's bar however in this episode it's across the street. (You could say, "maybe the music shop moved at a later date" however it was next to Moe's in the flashback scenes in the episode Homer's Barber Shop Quartet)

It Blows, The Air Conditioner Store

While thinking about buying an air conditioner Homer imagines Patty and Selma melting outside.

After hearing the story Bart says "wow, so that's how Lisa got her sax". 

Best line of the episode, Homer says "Oh Marge, If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts...how does the rest of that go?"

Timeline problems. In the episode Lisa's First Words Bart was two and Lisa was born in 1983. However in this episode Bart is 5 and Lisa is 3 in 1990.

Treehouse Of Horror VIII

This episode aired on October 26th, 1997. The lead in show was a repeat of The Simpsons Halloween Special VII and was followed by King Of The Hill, It ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (the made for TV movie Tower Of Terror, which was promoting the Florida ride), Touched By An Angel and Game 7 of the World Series (Indians 2 - Marlins 3, the Marlins took the title 4-3).

The episode opens with the Fox Censor crossing out parts of the script in order to keep the show rated G. However a sword wielding hand comes out of the ratings box and starts stabbing the censor, the rating shifts from G to TVPG to TV14, TVMA, TV21 and finally TV666. The censor's blood spells out The Simpsons Halloween Special VIII. The couch gag is the family runs in but find themselves in an electric chair couch and are electrocuted. 

In 1995 the FCC insisted on a self regulated TV rating system and in 1996 the TV Parental Guidelines were put in place for all show, especially on cable channels.

The HΩmega Man

Mayor Quimby insults the French who vow revenge. Marge asks Homer to do something so he shows them the bomb shelter he built, a cardboard box with an umbrella. Homer goes to Herman who shows him the Withstandinator, it's capable of withstanding a 6 megaton bomb. Meanwhile the French launch Le Bomb Neutron. The bomb nearly hits the aliens, Kang calls the home base but they think he's crazy for having seen a UFO. After the bomb goes off  Homer comes out of the shelter, eating a can of stew and drops it in the hand of the skeleton remains of Herman. He pulls up behind a line of cars at a stop light, he gets out and punches Kirk's skeleton. That's when he realizes something is wrong and sees the headline about the bomb. When Homer imagines his family he sees them each coming up and swinging a bat, Bart and Lisa get a hit while Marge strikes out. Homer decides to live on, he goes to the movies and kicks the skeleton in front of him. He sings War by The Temptations in the church, while dancing butt naked. A group of mutant survivors show up and ask to eat his skin. Homer escapes in a hearse while the mutants jump in a hotrod. Homer runs over Johnny and Edgar Winter thinking they are mutants, they are actually albino. Homer gets home to find the rest of the family survived the nuclear blast thanks to the decades of lead paint used on the house. The mutants are touched by the scene of the united family and decide to build a utopian society, Marge and the family opens fire killing the mutants. The family sets off to steal some Ferraris. 

This episode is based on the 1971 movie The Omega Man.

In the bomb shelter Homer flips through a Gary Larson Far Side calendar, with each page he says "I don't get it". The Far Side was a daily comic that ran from 1979 to 1995.

The French nuclear bomb says "Intel Inside" This was an ad slogan for the Intel computer chip during the early years of the home computer and internet.

Springfield Shopper headline: Neutron Bomb Headed For Springfield! Hippo Promoted to Detective (Kent Brockman had reported on the police hiring a hippo earlier)

When Homer is imagining his dead family he calls Maggie, Santa's Little Helper, Snowball II and the TV "and the rest". This is a reference to the first season of Gilligan's Island when the opening song named the characters except for the Professor and Mary Ann who were called "and the rest". 

At the theater Homer watches a Cris Farley/David Spade movie, probably Tommy Boy. Chris Farley would die two months after this episode aired.

First Church Of Springfield sign: Today's Sermon: Homer Rocks!

Mutants: Wiggum, Hibbert, Apu, Moe, Skinner, Burns, Smithers, Sideshow Mel, Ned, Jasper, Willie, Otto, Lenny, Carl

The car the mutants use to chase Homer is based on the Rat Fink hot rod cartoons drawn by Ed "Big Daddy" Roth.

Fly vs Fly

Frink is holding a yard sale. Homer buys a matter transporter for 35¢, talked down from $2.00. He tries to use it to get a beer but grabs cat ear medicine by mistake, he can't tell the difference. He pees from the living room to the upstairs toilet. Bart tests it out on Snowball II but SLH jumps in too and comes out as a cat/dog with a head at each end, and a separate animal with two butts. Bart gets the idea to turn himself into a FlyBoy however he ends up a head on a fly body and there is a mismatched creature with a fly head and Bart's body. The family adopts him. Bart gets caught on a spider's web but he's just pretending to mock the spider. Bart gets jealous of the fly but is almost swatted by Marge, the fly tries to kill him so he goes to Lisa and talks to her through her saxophone. The fly eats Bart so Lisa shoves them into the transporter and Bart comes out hole again. Homer threatens Bart with an axe for messing with his machine. 

The title of the episode is done in the Mad Magazine font for their long running strip Spy vs. Spy.

The episode is a mixture of the original 1958 and 1986 remake of the film The Fly. 

Stuff at Frink's yard sale, A Star Wars escape pod, Evel Knievel's Snake River rocket, Jet Pack, Large bellows camera, original nuclear bomb from the Trinity Site, electric chair. A type of Robbie The Robot who tries to take off by hanging a Sold sign on itself, a brain in a jar (from the 1957 movie The Brain From Planet Arous), the Impossible Trident, aka a bilvet.

6 months after this episode aired Nickelodeon began running the series CatDog with a character similar to the two headed Snowball/SLH pet.

Easy-Bake Coven

It's 1649 A.D. and the town is hold a witch trial. Ned points out that they killed 75 witches, Lovejoy claims there is still a witch. The town accuses everyone so Marge stands up and tells them to come to their senses so they decide to burn her as a witch. In order to test her they shove her over a cliff with a broom, if she dies she's innocent but if she flies they want her to report back for punishment. However Marge flies over the crowd, she now has a green face. She confesses to causing all the problems and then turns Wiggum into a gopher, Eddie into a snowman and Lou into a fairy princess. She then releases a swarm of bats from her hair. She returns to the mountain where Patty and Selma are also witches. The town is afraid of them and think they are going to eat the children. The Witches see this in their cauldron and decide to do just that. When they show up at Ned's house he pulls a cross on them but they laugh it off. Maude offers them gingerbread cookie children instead. The witches then go around town and the people give them treats instead of their children. The Sea Captain then narrates how this was the birth of Halloween. Homer is throwing eggs at a house, when Lisa points out that it's their house he accuses her of being a witch and the entire town chases her. 

The title of this episode comes from the Easy Bake Oven toy.

The town is Sprynge-Fielde "First You Toil, Then The Grave.

Edna Krabappal is wearing a scarlet A, from the novel The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Marge appears as a green faced witch like the Wicked Witch Of The West from the 1939 movie The Wizard Of Oz

When Marge flies back to the mountain Patty says "so you finally left Durwood". This is a Bewitched joke where Endora is always calling her son in law Darren by the wrong name.

When trick-or-treating Homer wears a costume similar to Barbara Eden's from I Dream Of Jeannie. (the rival program of Bewitched)

The episode ends with a Theremin version of the theme song.

On a side note, in 1997 The Tower of Terror was a ride only at the Disney/MGM Studios park in Disney World.

The Cartridge Family

This episode premiered on November 2nd, 1997. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and it was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella), Touched By An Angel and Men Behaving Badly.

The title of the episode is a take on the tv show The Partridge Family

The chalkboard gag is "Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story" and the couch gag is the family runs in, their pants are on fire and the couch is full of water. They all give a relief "ahhh" when they sit down.

The family sees a commercial for the Continental Soccer Association coming to Springfield, Mexico vs Portugal, it makes the sport look very exciting. At the live game the audience gets bored with the lack of action. A fight breaks out as people try to leave, it turns into a riot that spreads throughout town. A con man tries to sell the Simpsons a security system but Homer doesn't want to pay $500, instead he goes to buy a gun. Homer has to wait 5 days for a background check. After 5 days Homer rushes into the gun shop, because he has to pee. The background check labels Homer as "Potentially dangerous" which mean he can only buy three guns or less. Marge is upset about the gun so Homer talks her into going to an NRA meeting where he joins the organization. At the range Homer shoots a row of cans however they turn out to be on the snack bar, the pimple faced kid says "My fault". Homer goes into the Kwik-E-Mart with his gun, Apu thinks he's there to rob the place, Homer imagines what it would be like and pictures himself in a big fancy house. However when he finally decides to rob the store he finds himself driving away with a hot dog. When he goes home Lisa asks him to get her ball off the roof so he shoots it. He then shoots up all of Marge's dishes. Homer brings his gun to the table, he tells Marge he'll put the safety on and shoots her photo, he tries again and shoots it again, he sets the gun on the table, shoots a knife and it lands in her photo. Marge tells him she fears for the family's safety and begs him to get rid of the gun, he promises to do it. Later when Bart is digging for ice cream he finds Homer's gun hidden in the crisper tray. Bart is about to shoot an apple out of Milhouse's mouth, Marge catches them and tells Homer off then takes the kids and moves out. She goes to Patty and Selma's but they are about to kidnap the TV repairman, for date night, so they suggest the Sleep-Eazy motel. Homer hosts an NRA meeting at the house, he shoots open his beer can and turns on the TV, the other NRA members tell him off for being so reckless, they kick him out. Bart and Lisa want to try out the pool at the motel but the guy is trying to fish out a dead body. Homer goes around the house shooting out the lights. Mayor Quimby comes in the motel room by mistake. Homer shows up at the motel looking for the family, he begs them to come back and promises that he got rid of the gun. As they are checking out Snake busts in and robs the place at knifepoint. Homer pulls his gun and Marge gets mad at him for lying again, as they are fighting Snake takes the gun. The NRA members show up but Snake gets away. Homer begs Marge to get rid of the gun for him, instead of throwing it away she puts it in her purse.

The chalkboard gag is a reference to the rumor about Richard Gere. It was alluded to in the episode A Fish Called Selma.

Springfield Stadium sign: Tonight: Soccer / Tomorrow: Monsters Of Poetry.

Pele makes an appearance to promote Crestfield Wax Paper. Pele was the soccer superstar from Brazil from the 50's through the 70's. He passed away in 2022.

The soccer announcer's excited play by play is a reference to Andres Cantor and his famous "GOAL!" shout. 

Ex-Con Home Security "From the big house...to your house"

Bloodbath And Beyond Gun Shop.

As Homer is waiting for the 5 day period Tom Petty's Waiting Is The Hardest Part plays. Homer sees a list of potential targets: A Target store truck, ducks in a line, a line of rabbits, Patty and Selma on a tandem bike, Ned on his mower. 

Signs at the gun shop: Automatics, Bazooka, Grenades "buy 2 get one free"

Homer's background check: Been in a mental hospital (Stark Raving Dad), alcohol problems, beat up President Bush, Homer comments "former President Bush" (Two Bad Neighbors). 

Self aware joke, Marge doesn't want guns in the house and reminds Homer about when Maggie shot Burns, Homer says he though Smithers did it and Lisa says "That would have made a lot more sense"

NRA Meeting Today "Come in and shoot your mouth off.

In order to get in the NRA meeting Kearny has to carry a loaner gun, this is just the opposite of reality where ironically guns are banned from NRA meetings.

NRA members, Kearny, Wolfcastle, Krusty Moe, Carl, Sideshow Mel, Barney, Cletus, Agnus, Ruth Powers, Skinner, Otto, Lenny, Mafia Louie

Selma and Patty live at the Spinster City Apartments. 

Homer's sign outside his house: Gun Warming Tonight Nachos Rifles Alcohol

The sign at the Sleep-Eazy Motel is burned out and only Sleazy is illuminated. Hourly Rates, Adult Movies.

At the NRA meeting Cletus asks if Homer is some kind of a moron. This is a take on the scene in Animal House when the character of Stork says "Well what the hell are we suppose to do ya moron"

Signs in the motel lobby: Under New Management / Vote Quimby.

Best line of the episode: Security Salesman: "but surely you can't put a price on your family's lives" Homer "I wouldn't have thought so either but here we are."

In the episode The Secrets Of A Successful Marriage the chalkboard gag is 5 Days Is Not Too Long To Wait For A Gun.

Bart Star

This episode premiered on November 9th 1997. The lead in show was World's Funniest and it was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (Angels In The Endzone), Touched By An Angel and Dateline NBC.

The title of the episode is based on Bart Starr, Super Bowl Champion quarterback for the Green Bay Packers.

The chalkboard gag is "I did not invent Irish dancing" and the couch gag is The family sits on the couch but they are crushed into a cube.

The family goes to a health fare, Homer's cholesterol level is high but his gravy level is even higher, he says doctors told him to drink 8 glasses of gravy a day. Marge is running the first aid booth, Lisa pretends to have stepped in a bear trap. All the kids are too fat, there is a video on the news of Bart splitting his pants. Homer signs up Bart for Pee-Wee football. Lisa shows up to join the team as a protest until she finds out the team has four girls, she then protests the pig skin for the football, until she finds out they use synthetic leather and the company donates a dollar to Amnesty International for everyone they sell, she is forced to run off. Nelson is the perfect player. He uses Bart as a shield to batter his way through the other team, even going out of his way to hit other players. Homer is jealous of Flanders and keeps mocking him from the stands. When Homer hits Ned with a beer can he quits and makes Homer the coach. Homer flashes back to when he was in gymnastics and his father screwed up his floor routine by shouting at him. He decides to support Bart and tries to make him the star of the team. Bart is a lousy quarterback and wants to quit. As he is trying to be a better quarterback Joe Namath shows up, just as he's about to tell Bart the one thing he needs to know his car starts and he takes off. Bart shows up in bandages and tells Homer he has to sit out the game, so Homer plans to forfeit. Bart gets mad and tells Homer off then quits the team. To show Bart up Homer calls Burns and quits his job, he winks at the phone. At the next game Nelson leads the team to a win, Homer is sad because Bart isn't there. Homer makes up with Bart and he comes back on the team. In the final game they have time for one last play but the cops show up to arrest Nelson, Bart offers to fill in and tells the cops he's Nelson. The team wins the game. It turns out Nelson was wanted for burglary and arson. Joe Namath shows up at the end to talk about vapor lock. Homer says the names on the closing credits and tells them they are cut from the team.

Joe Namath and Roy Firestone do their voices in this episode. 

Free Health Fair, Welcome Cheapskates!

Health fair booths: Lung Capacity (Selma is running it while smoking) Blood Pressure (Mayor Quimby is getting checked out by a sexy nurse. Are You Crazy? (The booth is run by Dr. Joyce Brothers. Sideshow Mel is on the couch. Kirk Van Houten, Troy McClure and Willie are standing in line) What's Your Sex (Dr. Nick Rivera's booth) Check Your Cholesterol (Homer is being examined by Dr. Hibbert) Hearing Test (Maude Flanders is running the test, Grandpa, Jasper and Charlie are being tested and can't hear anything) Fat or Fit (It's run by Wolfcastle and Uter is trying to do sit-ups on an inclined plane)

Marge buys Bart's football gear at the Sportacus sports store. 

Coach Flanders tells the team to go the Whole Nine Yards. The joke of course is that you have to go 10 yards for a first down.

Sports Spew! With Roy Firestone. His guest is Sandy Koufax, Homer calls to ask if Sandy thinks Ned is the worst coach ever. 

Homer wears his Tom Landry hat from the episode You Only Move Twice

When Marge defends Bart quitting the team Homer tells her that she quit every job she ever had, Cop (The Springfield Connection), Pretzel Vendor (The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson), Church Counselor (In Marge We Trust), Professional Gambler ($pringfield). At this point in the overall series Homer had 38 jobs.

Hank Hill and his family show up at the game, they complain that they drove 2000 miles for this. Mike Judge does the voice of Hank. The show King Of The Hill followed The Simpsons on the Sunday night lineup since its premier. They are the only pink characters on the show.

At the Kwik-E-Mart Bart plays he video game Cat Fight. Two women on a street fighting and calling each other names. 

Homer asks for Skittlebrau. When Apu tells him no such beer exists he buys a 6-pack of Duff and a bag of Skittles.

One of those funny little details, Martin, as the kicker, is doing the barefoot thing but when he gets to the ball he kicks it with his foot wearing the shoe.

Homer tries to figure out the final play of the game on an electronic football game. Not the video type but the one with the little plastic figures and a vibrating field.

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons

This episode premiered on November 16th 1997. The show ran in its usual time slot. It ran opposite the Disney movie Oliver Twist (1997 made for TV version), Touched By An Angel and Jenny. 

There isn't a chalkboard gag and the couch gag is Bart painting a graffiti family on the couch. He even signs it El Barto

The Springfield Fire Department is holding a charity bachelor auction to raise funds to buy a fire truck. Kent Brockman opens the show and then introduces the celebrity auctioneer Krusty, The Clown, who comes in from the back in a bathrobe. The first bachelor is Barney, he comes out to the tune of My Girl, nobody bids. They send him under a banner that reads The Rejects. The next is The Sea Captain, he is rejected too. When Moe comes out he walks across the stage while the band keeps playing, they don't even bother with the bidding. After all the bachelors are rejected and they cut to all the single muscular firemen who weren't part of the auction. Marge convinces Apu to go on stage, he has a PhD, runs his own business, doesn't like to talk but loves to listen, can cook and likes to build furniture and then discuss where to put it in a room, the bidding goes crazy. Luanne, Selma, Ms Hoover, Ruth Powers and another woman pool their money and "buy" Apu for $926 dollars. Just as Apu is starting to enjoy being single his mother sends him a lotos flower, it's time for his arranged marriage. When Apu was 8 his family made a deal to marry him off in exchange for a textile factory. Homer convinces Apu to lie to his mother. When he's trying to come up with a reason Homer writes a quick note but it's asking where the sticky buns are. Apu starts enjoying his bachelorhood. He is asleep at work so Homer is looking through the lottery tickets, he finds a $500 dollar winner but he doesn't have enough for that and a Yodel, so he buys the Yodel. Just then Apu's mother shows up, he begs Homer for help but he's slowing eating his candy. Homer offers to let Apu claim Marge is his wife. When they arrive at the house Homer forgot to tell Marge and has to beg her to pretend to be Apu's wife. Homer says goodbye and reminds Apu he needs to fix the upstairs toilet. Homer planned to hang out at Moe's but he's taking a vacation to Easter Island so he moves into the nursing home, they think he's Cornelius Talmadge, first he tests out a wheel chair and loves having supper at 4 PM. Homer gets an electric chair to race Jasper to dinner. He then discovers liquid Lays potato chips. The real Talmadge shows up and Homer has to flee. He sneaks back into the house but just as Apu's mother is about to leave she catches Homer and Marge in bed together. Apu tells his mother the truth, but she still insists he gets married. To enjoy his last hours of bachelorhood Homer takes Apu to the retirement home. Bart burns hymns to make the religious fire sacred. Apu says only the gods could stop this wedding so Homer shows up as Ganesh, one of the wedding party chases him up a tree. Manjula shows up, Apu is shocked by how pretty she is and they decide to get married. The singers do an Indian version of Close To You. 

Andrea Martin does the voice of Apu's mother and Jan Hooks does the voice of Manjula. 

Springfield Civic Center sign: Tonight: Charity Bachelor Auction / Tomorrow: I retire, ya Bastards! (the guy falls off his ladder)

The Bachelor Auction rejects: Barney, Comic Book Guy, Kirk, Moleman, Disco Stu, Moe, Frink, Sea Captain and Otto. 

After Apu lies to his mother he jumps up on the counter and starts dancing to Hot Blooded by Foreigner.

Apu goes to Hairy Shearers for a new haircut. The name is a reference to Harry Shearer who does several voices on the series including Mr. Burns, Smithers, Ned Flanders and so forth.

Air India, We Treat You Like Cattle.

Gunter and Ernst the magicians are at the airport waiting for their Bengal tiger. They first appeared in the episode $pringfield

Manjula first appeared in the episode Much Apu About Nothing. 

When the elephant appears at the wedding Bart wishes he had one. Lisa reminds him of Stampy, the elephant from the episode Bart Gets An Elephant.

Krusty walking in through the back of the auditorium with a drink in his hand is based on a story Jack Benny would tell about appearing at the Empire Room in Chicago. 

We've come to episode 185. It's hard to believe I'm still doing this. I'll probably say the same thing when I hit episode 300.