The Simpsons 241-245

Missionary: Impossible

This episode premiered on February 20th, 2000. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by Malcolm In The Middle. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Jungle To Jungle), Touched By An Angel and the NBA (Lakers 87 - 76ers 84)

The title comes from the classic TV show and movies Mission Impossible

The chalkboard gag is "A belch is not an oral report" and the couch gag is the couch is at a subway stop for Evergreen Terrace. The train pulls up and the family gets on. 

Homer is watching Do Shut Up on PBS, a show about a soccer hooligan family. The show is interrupted by the pledge drive, Homer gets mad at the delay so he donated $10,000 thinking they couldn't find him, however they have caller ID, aka Instatrace. A van shows up demanding the money, they even take him to the bank. Homer escapes but the PBS crowd chases him. Heruns into the church shouting "Sanctuary", Lovejoy sends Homer to an island in Microatia (a made up Pacific island nation). Homer thinks the island is dull but when he finds out Ned is jealous he decides to civilize the place. Bart takes over for Homer at the power plant and gets poked by Mr. Burns for incompetence. Homer creates a casino and teaches the natives how to ferment beer. He thinks he's built a paradise but the natives end up fighting. He decides that in order to save the people he needs to finish building the chapel. The ringing of the bell causes an earthquake which sets off a volcano and the chapel starts sinking into the lava, the show then cuts to a pledge break for Fox. The show ends on a cliffhanger with no real resolution.

Betty White does her own voice in this episode. 

Do Shut Up is a spoof on a number of British shows that appeared on PBS in the era. This would end with the creation of the cable network channel BBC America in 1998.

PBS is offering a CD of the sounds of museums. There is a hollow echo of someone walking followed by a cough. (because nobody is at the art museum in case you didn't catch that)

Marge is buying greeting cards, $5 a pound. 

The PBS mob that chases Homer: Soccer Hooligans, Mr. Rogers, Yo Yo Ma, Garrison Keillor, Tellatubbies, Big Bird, Oscar The Grouch, Elmo

Homer shouting Sanctuary is a spoof on The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, Lovejoy regrets teaching Homer the word.

Supplies in the Christian Relief plane: Prayer Books / Bibles / a water cooler full of Holy Water / Inflatable Pulpits. 

A butterfly lands on Homer's arm, turns into a worm, burrows under his skin and crawls into his brain. This is a spoof on the beetle scene from the 1999 film The Mummy.

Homer is licking toads for a buzz when he hears Marge on the radio saying "Hello, is there anybody in there?" This is a take on the Pink Floyd song Comfortably Numb. 

Homer builds The Lucky Savage Casino. 

Homer mentions Bob Stupak, Las Vegas gambler and hotel owner. He created the Stratosphere Hotel.

Celebrities running the Fox donation phone lines, David Duchovnhy, Gillian Anderson (X Files), Hank Hill, Thurgoode Stubbs (The PJs), Rupert Murdock, Bender (Futurama), Luke Perry (Beverly Hills 90210)

Self aware joke, Bart pledges $10,000 to the Fox pledge drive, Rupert Murdock says "You saved my network" to which Bart replies "It wouldn't be the first time"

This was another "drop the cow" episode, the writers had created an entire story about Homer as a missionary and had no real ending, so they tacked on the pledge drive. No real ending will become a regular thing now that we're well into the Dark Years. 

Pygmoelian

This episode premiered on February 27th 2000. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Touched By An Angel and The 10th Kingdom (a five part miniseries)

The name of the episode comes from the play Pygmalion. 

The chalkboard gag is "Dodgeball stops at the gym door" and the couch gag is a repeat of Matt Groening's signature on the floor. 

The fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night. It turns out Homer was tricking the family so they'd be first in line for Duff Days. Marge is the designated driver so she goes to the Rockn' Fun Zone, a barbed wire cage. Bart goes on the Tpisy Whirl (a gyroscope ride to make you feel drunk). Moe participates in the  Beer-Tender of the Year contest. Titiana is winning the contest until the final round, the drunk toss, she thought if she slept with Duffman she wouldn't have to deal with the drunk and quits. Moe chases Barney with a board, wins and gets his face on the Duff calendar. Duff put a sticker over Moe's face. He's upset about his looks so Lenny suggest plastic surgery. At Duff Days Maggie getsa pink elephant balloon, Bart and Lisa try to take it but it gets away so they try to chase it down. Moe goes to a plastic surgery and comes out handsom. He decides to get revenge so he puts a sticker on Duffman's face, the guy passes out from a lack of oxygen. He visits the girl who turned him down in high school, she apologizes but Homer throws a brick through her window. Moe once tried out for a soap opera but they turned him down, when he goes back to tell them off they hire him to play Dr. Tad Winslow. Moe gets the future storylines and finds out his character gets killed, he decides to get revenge by having Homer show up, dressed like an angel, and spills all the future plot lines. However it turns out the script was for a dream sequence and he ruins his career. He says he can get on any other soap opera but a backdrop falls on him and turns him back into old Moe. 

During the fire alarm Lisa saves her sax, Snowball II and her Perfect Attendance trophy / Bart saves SLH / Marge saves Maggie and the vacuum. (Continuity error, Lisa took a week off in the episode Bart's Dog Gets An "F")

Duff Days: A lost weekend for the whole family. This is a spoof on the title of the 1945 film The Lost Weekend.

Surly is announcing Drink Duff, then whispers "responsibly". He was first seen in the episode Selma's Choice. 

The alco-hall Of Fame: Ulysses S. Grant / Babe Ruth / Benjamin Franklin 

Bartenders in the contest: Michael Finn from the Green Potato Pub O'Hare International Airport / Titania from Juggernauts Hollywood California / Moe

The Hippy Hippy Shake by The Swinging Blue Jeans plays during the bartender contest.

Homer Lenny and Carl are suppose to spell out MOE on their stomach but both Lenny and Carl have an O so it spells out MOO. 

Other people in the Rockin' Fun Zone: Skinner, Apu, Kirk. 

Stickers over Moe's face; Drink Duff / Duff Enuff / Viva La Duff / Kiss Me I'm Duff / Ich Bin Ein Duff / I'mo Duff You Up! 

Cosmetic Surgery Group "We'll cut you good"

The pink elephant ballon blows into a meeting of The Gay Republicans. They give Lisa a bumper sticker "A Gay Republican in 2084" because they are realistic about changing times. That was 84 years in the future then, now it's 60 years away. 

Moe goes on the soap opera "It Never Ends" Considering the supernatural elements in the plot the show it was probably based on the 1999-2008 soap opera Passions. 

Self Aware: Moe points out that when the set fell on him his face went back to its old form instead of something new. 

In the episode I'm With Cupid Apu has a Duff beer calendar behind the counter at the Kwik-E-Mart

This episode wasn't bad but there was the entire balloon bit that just felt like filler, it had no point and didn't really go anywhere. Again, the Dark Years.

Bart To The Future

This episode premiered on March 19th, 2000 It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The ABC Big Picture Show (The Flintstones), 60 Minutes and Dateline NBC.

The title comes from the 1985 movie Back To The Future.

The chalkboard gag is "Non-flammable is not a challenge" and the couch gag is a repeat of the night club bouncer.

The Simpsons are planning on spending the weekend at Larva Lake but it's mosquito season so they get turned away. Bart sees an Indian Casino so they head to it, Marge won't go in because of her gambling problem and Lisa starts a long rant about Native Americans but Homer and Bart have run off. Bart is turned away at the door so he sneaks in disguised as Gabbo. He gets caught and is taken to the main office.  The manager tells him to throw a personal item into the fire, he tosses in a fire cracker. Bart looks 30 years into the future, he's living with Ralph and is trying to run a band. Homer complains about the horrible future they live in, Bart reminds him it's the horrible present. Nelson has offered to let Bart's band perform at his club but he has to borrow money from Homer to get his amp out of hock. Meanwhile Lisa is President of the U.S. Bart goes to Ned who is now blind, because he had laser surgery and after 10 years his eyes fell out. When they get home they find an eviction notice across their door. Bart decides to go to DC and mooch off Lisa. Lisa has taken over from President trump and the nation is broke. Milhouse is a cabinet level Secretary but which one they don't say. Homer is searching the White House for Lincoln's gold. Bart sends the Presidential helicopter to pick up Ralph. The only way to save the country is to raise taxes, Milhouse calls it a Temporary Refund Adjustment however Bart comes in and exposes that Lisa is raising taxes on live tv. In order to solve the problems Lisa wants to invite the debtor nations to DC but she has to get Bart out of town, so she appoints him Secretary of Keeping It Real and ships him off to Camp David along with his friends. While trying to write his report Bart is visited by the ghost of Billy Carter who tells him Lisa sent him there to get him out of the way, however it turns into a commercial for the casino. Homer finally digs up Lincoln's gold, however it turns out to be a metaphor. Bart shows up and gives the debtor nations his moochy excuses, they all leave happy. As a reward Bart asks Lisa to legalize marijuana. later when Bart tells Lisa about the future he says he has his own band and a Moped, and she has some government job. 

Ceasar's Pow Wow Casino. Now Appearing: Carrot Scalp. (this is a spoof on Carrot Top) There is a neon sign of Vegas Vic but his back is full of arrows and Chief Wahoo from the Cleveland Indians pops up with a bow. Yeah, this episode isn't very PC. 

On the side of the van: Arthur Crandall and Gabbo, Was seen on TV (The W is painted in red)

The Future, Homer and Marge are eating virtual fudge / Soylent Green Now with more girls! / Rod and Todd are Gay / DC businesses next to the White House: Drive-Thru Liqours, Hustler Super Store / Maggie is a baby, but it's Maggie jr. daughter of Maggie 

Nelson's Crab Shack: Captain Bart and the Tequila Mockingbirds. They perform a version of Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. "Wasted once more in Daquiritaville" At the White House he does a version of Day-O The Banana Boat Song by Harry Belafonte.

Bart watches BrainVision News via a ray gun. 

Lisa takes a question from Helen, this is based on Helen Thomas who covered the White House for 50 years. She died in 2013.

There is a portrait of Taft outside the Presidential Dining Room. (fat joke)

Lisa meets with the Negro League of Rollerball, she is trying to desegregate all death sports. This is a spoof on the 1975 movie Rollerball, not the horrible 2002 remake, which was two years away. It also refers to the Negro League baseball during the time of sports segregation.

Failed Predictions: Ralph dries himself with a newspaper, who still gets a newspaper? / Bart has an actual cassette playing boom box, and tries to sell tapes of his music through the mail / trump spent money on programs for children / Chastity Bono (who is now Chaz Bono)

Kerney is Lisa's secret service agent and offers to kill Bart, he says every President gets three free murders but has to use them before the end of their term. 

Camp David sign on the gate Beer Guy Turn Here with red balloon tied to it. Bill Clinton's porno stash: Girlies what ain't got no clothes on.

Bart's committee on Cool, Ralph, Otto, Nelson, Krusty. 

The scene with Bart and Billy Carter is a spoof on the bar scene from the 1977 movie The Shining.

The White House has portraits of the former Presidents, including Ted Kennedy. 

Self aware joke: When Bart asks why his vision featured a side story of Homer searching for Lincoln's gold the manager says "I guess the spirits thought the main vision was a little thin"

This episode is the favorite with the "Simpsons predict the future" crowd since there was a joke about "President trump" and leaving the country in debt. There is also a joke about Carrot Scalp appearing at the casino. Carrot Top was a regular in Vegas and since 2005 has had a "residency" performance at the MGM Grand.

Days of Wine and D'oh'ses

This episode premiered on April 9th, 2000. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Angels in the Infield), Touched By An Angel and NBA baseball.

The title of the episode comes from the 1962 movie Days Of Wine And Roses

The chalkboard gag is "I was not touched "there" by an angel" and the couch gag is a repeat of the two versions of the Simpson in the living room.

Bart and Homer are digging through the town's trash. At the closed Hawaiian restaurant Homer finds a tiki idol. Homer rigs up a gas line from the kitchen to the idol but he sets it on fire so he takes off to Moe's. Barney is disappointed that nobody remembers his birthdays they show him the video and he's embarrassed by his drunken antics. Moe gave him helicopter flying lessons because they all think he could never do it, Moe offers to get him drunk. Barney swears to sober up and learn to fly a helicopter. He lasts about one day but is desperate for a beer, so he turns to Homer for help. At an AA meeting Gil shows up just to try to sell Amway. Homer makes a joke about 12 steps and they throw him out. The Springfield Phonebook is holding a cover photo competition and the first prize is a bike. The old photo is Mr. Burns. Rainer Wolfcastle shows up horribly out of shape but he's playing a fat secret agent. Everybody at the bar is bored without Barney so they start mocking Homer instead. Lisa sets up the image of Dogs Playing Poker but Nelson sneaks in and takes a photo. Homer and Barney have a huge falling out. While taking a nature photo Bart pops out a flash bulb and starts a wildfire. As part of his 12 step program Barney comes to Moe's to apologize for everything he did in and to the bar. Bart and Lisa are trapped in the fire and the only way to rescue them is for Barney to fly the helicopter, he starts to freak out but lands in front of a Duff truck, he tries to drink a beer but Homer gets them all and gets really drunk. Barney finds the courage and flies to the rescue. A bear tries to climb up in the helicopter so Homer cuts the rope, but hangs off the skid and grabs the kids. Bart takes a photo from mid air. Bart and Lisa gets their photo on the cover but it's a baby photo of them on the toilet. The kids win a new bike and Barney and Homer make up, Barney becomes a coffee addict so Moe sets up a coffee kiosk. 

The chalkboard gag is a reference to the show Touched by An Angel which had been running opposite The Simpsons since 1996.

Comic Book Guy is throwing out She-Hulk vs Leon Spinks. Sounds like a modern MCU show. All the nerds show up to grab them but he chases them off like raccoons. One says Shazbot, the Mork from Ork curse word.

Bob's Big Poi (a spoof on Bob's Big Boy)

When Homer finds the tiki he says "get out of my dreams and get into my car", this is a take on the song of the same name by Billy Ocean.

The people at AA: Gil / Susan (Scenes From A Class Struggle In Springfield) / Kent Brockman / Kirk / Lindsey Naegle / Bernice Hibbert

In the episode Round Springfield Barney trades in an AA 5 minute chip for a Pabst beer.

AA chalkboard: Things to do with your hands at a party

Best line in the episode, when Homer asks about the sugar cookies they point to the table, he says "aww, I don't want to walk that far, anything that takes 12 steps isn't worth doing" They throw him out.

The Springfield phone book competition address: Springfield Bell / Springfield, USA / P.O. Box 2153-1264 / Room RR-312-BB5 / Attn: Photo Submissions Supervisor

Stuff in the Simpson's closet: Hat from Mexico (Kamp Krusty) / Mr Plow jacket (Mr. Plow) / Skis (Little Big Mom) / Computer / Fire truck (Miracle On Evergreen Terrace) / Old radio (Wild Barts Can't Be Broken) / Panda Bear / Boxing Gloves (The Homer They Fall) / Pig / Pinwheel (Homer To The Max) / Cowboy Boots (Colonel Homer) / Golden Globe award (The Front) / Harley Davidson Motorcycle (Take My Wife Sleaze) / Hockey Stick (Lisa On Ice) / Bird cage / Hat and Bell (Lisa The Iconoclast) / Alarm Clock (Cartridge Family) / Spiffy cleaner (Saturday's Of Thunder) / Tennis racket / Guitar (The Otto Show) / oversized baseball (Dancin' Homer) / Johnny Reb bottle (Homer's Phobia) / Mr Sparkle box (In Marge We Trust) / menorah / safe / football helmet (Bart Star) / Space helmet (Deep Space Homer) 

Marge is reading Meddling Today magazine. 

Homer asks Apu if he has any of the chips that give you diarrhea because he need to do "a little spring cleaning" This is a reference to Wow chips that came out in 1998 and caused anal leakage. 

Artie Pie is seen talking to the helicopter pilot but doesn't say anything.  

From the top of Mt. Springfield Lisa and Bart can see everything, the Squidport (My Sister, My Sitter) and the monorail (Marge vs. The Monorail). 

Burt Renyolds is shooting a movie in Springfield, Fireball and Mudflap. When interviewed by Kent Brockman he calls the film crap.

Kill The Alligator And Run

This episode premiered on April 30th, 2000. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the ABC Big Picture Show (Arabian Nights), Touched By An Angel and Twenty-One

The title comes from the song Take The Money And Run by The Steve Miller Band

The chalkboard gag is "I am not here on a partial scholarship" and the couch gag is the family has to do a barefoot fire walk to get to the couch.

Bart charges Homer $3 to deliver the mail but Homer pays him with Montana Militia money "It'll be real soon enough" Homer gets a copy of Self Test magazine and goes around asking people the questions. He rates Ned a Frigid Frida when he give him the sex test. Homer takes the How Long Will You Live questionnaire and finds out he'll die when he's 42. He starts to see TV characters saying they are going to kill him. An inspector shows up and is about to pass the nuclear plant when Homer shows up wearing a blanket and talking about death. Burns sends Homer to the plant psychiatrist who suggest Homer taking a trip to Florida. The problem is the family shows up during Spring Break but Homer runs off on a wild drunk party. Marge ties Homer to the bed but he escapes to the MTV broadcast. While on a swamp tour the family sees Captain Jack, the famous alligator. When Kid Rock goes to "pour a 40 for his homies" Homer shows up and starts drinking from the 40 gallon bottle. They are about to attack Homer when the sheriff shows up and saves him, he takes Homer back to the hotel. The next day Homer wakes up after sleeping all night and he feels better, however spring break is over and everyone is going home. Homer forces the family to continue to party with him however he runs over Captain Jack with a fan boat and gets arrested. The family escapes and gets into a car chases, Homer beats a train but gets hit by another train and drug down the tracks. The car falls off and they wind up lost. They get jobs at a diner in the middle of nowhere which includes staying in a trailer out back. The sheriff shows up and tows off the trailer with the family in it, they wind up in court. The family is sentenced to work on a chain gang but the governor needs staff for his party and the family gets recruited to handle it. The Simpsons try to escape at the party but Captain Jack shows up and they are set free. 

Robert Evans, Charley Rose, Kid Rock and Joe C. do their own voices. Diedrich Bader does the voice of The Sheriff.

Homer gets a copy of Self Test Monthly. Are you a good Driver? / Are you a good lover? / How smart are you? / Do you have ESP?

The Royal Fart Inn, college students change the name to The Royal Frat Inn. 

The MTV VeeJay's palm crystal changing color and being drug off is based on the 1975 movie Logan's Run.

Homer calls for The Rappin' Granny, aka Vivian Smallwood

Homer sings We Built This City by Starship. Louie Louie by the Kingsman also plays. Kid Rock's Bawitdaba plays over the closing credits.

The road gang scene is a spoof on Cool Hand Luke.

The ice sculpture at the Governor's Party is in the shape of an electric chair. 

I've reached episode 245. This was the era of hit and misses And onward I trudge.