The Simpsons 356-360

The Father, The Son And The Holy Guest Star

This episode premiered on may 15th 2005. The lead in show was the previous Simpsons episode (Home Away From Homer) and it was followed by Family Guy. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Survivor and The Contender. 

The title comes from the Catholic prayer "The Father The Son and the Holy Ghost"

The couch gag is the family are balloons and float onto the couch, except Homer is upside down and Snowball II takes a swipe at him, causing him to pop and fly away. 

The school is holding a Medieval Festival, everyone is disappointed that it won't be like The Lord Of the Rings. Martin is going to be the king, Nelson is assigned as a guard. Bart has to play the Cooper. Lisa is named the queen. Milhouse makes his coat of arms, Spiderman on a field of green. Willie is assigned to be the village idiot complete with the plague. Skinner has the kids throw tomatoes at Willie (a bit of a historical inaccuracy there). Lisa mocks Bart and then has the guards lock him in the tower, the back of Skinner's Merkur. Willie has made a pie full of rats, when Lisa cuts it open they run wild throughout the festival, Skinner blames Bart and expels him from school. After going through a series of private schools they settle on St. Jerome's Catholic School. Bart goes to school and tries his old tricks so the nun wacks him with a yard stick and then makes him stand in the hall holding dictionaries in both hands. He meets Father Sean, after a fight St. Peter appeared to Sean, called him a wanker and told him to get his life in order, that's how he joined the priesthood. Bart reads about St. Sebastian who was pierced by Roman arrows but didn't die until they beheaded him (Trust me, Catholics have great gory stories). Bart is enjoying going to Catholic school but Marge gets worried that Bart is starting to convert. Bart says grace in Latin. Homer decides to pull Bart out of Catholic school but shows up during the pancake dinner, followed by Bingo. He wins a sack full of stuff and discovers about confession, however he finds that you have to be a Catholic to be absolved. Marge is embarrassed at church because Homer and Bart have gone Catholic and Lisa is a Buddhist. Ned says they're denomination broke off from the Catholic church in 1573 over the right to come to church with wet hair. Marge imagines going to Protestant heaven which is like a country club while Bart and Homer go to Catholic heaven that has piñatas, Italian dinners, the Irish fighting, they then break out into a giant Riverdance. Jesus is also hanging out with the Catholics, they are tossing him on a blanket even though he wants to stop. Homer has communion answers written on his arm. When Marge tries to take Bart he tells her "chicks have no authority here". Lisa agrees that people should be able to choose their own faith and points out that she's a Buddhist, Father Sean laughs at her and says lots of kids have imaginary friends. Lisa tells Homer and Father Sean that Marge is taking Bart to the Protestant Youth Festival. Bart is almost converted back by paintball but Homer and Father Sean show up, a fight breaks out but Bart tells them that it's all the same religion with just small differences. Skip to a 1000 years later when the armies of Bart worshipers are fighting over is the lesson of Tolerance and Love better than Understanding and Peace. St. Bart was killed when he was betrayed by Milhouse and pulled apart by snowmobiles. The Riverdance music plays over the closing credits.

Liam Neeson does the voice of Father Sean

The Lord Of The Rings movies had been released in 2001 Fellowship of the Ring, 2002 The Two Towers and 2003 Return Of The King

Bart has to read Who Made The Barrel? You Did!

Springfield Elementary banner, Today: Medieval Fairieyer. 

Otto plays the lute and does a Medieval version of the 1985 John Mellencamp song Rain On The Scarecrow and then does a spoof of Jimmi Hendrix at the Monterey Pop Festival where he played his guitar with his teeth and then set it on fire.

Merkurs were produced between 1985 and 1989 by Lincoln Mercury.

Homer threatens to send Bart to the army and says they could end up in a new quagmire, anything was possible with commander cuckoo bananas in charge. George Bush jr. was the President in 2005.

St. Jerome. He Suffered For Our Sins. Now It's Your Turn.

Lives of the Saints comics. On the cover is a saint fighting a lion"I forgive thee- Now Die!" (I remember Catholic comic books, kind of preachy actually)

The free comic from the dentist is "Dr. Shaprio vs. Plaque-ula"

Bart says grace in Latin. However Catholics haven't used Latin since 1965.

Bumblebee Man has a line in this episode. 

Homer has a Catholic pamphlet about having children "Plop til you Drop"

Springfield Shopper headline: Local Father, Son May Switch Religions

Scott Joplin's Ragtime plays during a montage of Homer and Bart turning Catholic. 

Bart, Homer and Father Sean go to the Frying Dutchman for the Friday Fish Special 

First Church Of Springfield sign "Are you a James The Lesser or a James the Greater?

Ned calls for an emergency meeting of the church's spiritual council, at Stuckey's 

Reverend Lovejoy drives The Ministry Machine, a spoof on The Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo.

Reverend Lovejoy says his church is the one true faith, The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism.

Marge's ringtone is the theme from Hawaii 5-0

Protestant Youth Festival. We Put The "Fun" in Religious Fun.

Protestant Youth Fest.  Tomorrow: Springfield Witches' Coven. 

Quiet Riot plays the festival but they've converted and are now Pious Riot. 

At the church carnival Bart plays Onward Paintball Soldiers. 

In the episode Three Gays Of The Condo Bart makes the sign of the cross when he finds a dead hamsters and in the episode Lisa Gets An A Bart says he wants to become Catholic so he can get booze and wafers.

Of the mid-era episodes this one is my favorite. It had the classic feel to it while also pointing out how silly it is that religions fight over minor differences. This episode was originally suppose to air on April 10th however Pope John Paul II had died on April 2nd and they felt like it would be bad timing to do such a Catholic heavy episode just two days after his funeral so it ran on May 15th instead. 

This was also the last episode of the 16th season. Onward to season 17, and only 19 more to go, hopefully.

The Bonfire Of The Manatees

This episode premiered on September 11th 2005. The lead in show was the NFL Postgame show and it was followed by The War At Home. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 60 Minutes and The West Wing.

The title of the episode comes from the 1990 film The Bonfire Of The Vanities.

The chalkboard gag is "Does Any Kid Do This Anymore?" and the couch gag is the family has to pass through a metal detector to get on the couch. They all go right through except Homer who keeps setting it off. Eventually he's stripped down to his underwear and still setting off the alarm so he gets wanded. (Thank goodness, I thought there were going to go "somewhere" else with this joke)

Homer misses the end of the football game because the network cut away to promote a new reality show. Homer has a pamphlet predicting the winner of the games, Lisa points out that the company sends out two sets of pamphlets and eventually someone will get the one that is always right, then they ask you for money. Homer isn't listening because he's giving his credit card number over the phone. Sure enough, the next week he loses and he borrowed money from Fat Tony who then insists on payment, they make a deal to shoot porn at Homer's house. In order to get the family out of the house Moe gives them tickets to Santa's village. Lenny and Carl show up during the porn movie, Homer offers them a chance to work in the movie if they promise to not tell Marge, Lenny wants to run the sound board and Carl wants to "act". Santa's Village was a disaster, Santa dropped dead, so the family leaves early and catches Homer. Marge gets mad and leaves, she goes to the beach and calls Homer from a payphone, however a Manatee scares her and meets Dr. Thorn, a manatee expert. Homer tracks Marge to a diner and finds out she left with Dr. Thorn. While searching for Marge Homer stops at his cousin's house. While the kids are playing in the treehouse they spot Marge riding a manatee. Homer shows up and apologizes with real flowers and a box of chocolates however Marge refuses to come back. Homer decides the way to get Marge back is to protect the manatee from jet skiers. They agree to leave the manatee alone until he calls them rubes and they attack him. Homer's cousin shows up with a court order telling the skiers to vacate the area. Marge sees what Homer did and takes him back, since he's just like the manatees. Homer gets one of the manatee to cover at the power plant, when it almost dies of dehydration Burns and Smithers give it a sponge bath. 

Alec Baldwin does the voice of Caleb Thorn. He previously had done his own voice in the episode When You Dish Upon A Star

Notes on the opening jokes, Bart's chalkboard gag is both a self aware joke (the last season had three plus the fat Bart at the candy machine) and a dated reference thanks to the rise of white boards. The TSA checkpoint joke was kind of strange considering this aired on 9/11, four years after the terrorist attacks.

Homer's sports pennant "My Team"

ABC's new reality show, Billionaire vs. Bear. They thought they were in a race to plant the Taco Bell flag at the North Pole but they were being chased by The Betrayer. But the bear turns out to be a tiger. 

In this episode Homer is watching football, the final score is Denver 19 - Seahawks 14. People claim that the Simpsons predicted Super Bowl XLVIII however that game took place 9 years later and the final score was Seahawks 43 - Denver 8 plus Homer isn't watching the Super Bowl 

Homer has a flier, Prof. Pigskin's Pro Ball Prognosticator. 

Homer watches the Oakland Raiders. The team moved to Las Vegas in 2020.

The mob porn is called Lemony Lick-It: A Series of Horny Events. Remember when they made porn movies with plots? The stars of the movie are Angela Dare and Sultry Stevens. Their previous film was Fahrenheit 9 On 1, Carl recognizes the actors. 

Santa at Santa's Village is reading Tom Clancy's Op-Center. This is a series of real books.

The porn company is Gentleman's Relief Productions. 

Restaurant chains: Scobo's / Dim Willie's / Burger Plate

Homer's cousin and his wife are never mentioned by name.

Marge claims to have gotten her "groove back". This is a spoof on the 1998 film How Stella Got Her Groove Back.

When Burns and Smithers give the manatee a sponge bath and during the closing credits Car Wash by Rose Royce plays. 

This was the first episode of the 17th season and they started off with a Homer and Marge's marriage is in trouble. It was also all over the place, Homer and football, the mob and a porn movie, Santa's village, the marriage problems, Marge and the manatee expert, Homer chasing her down, Homer's cousins and finally a jet ski gang. It felt like a series of jokes tied together but lacking a real plot. This was the first time I saw this episode and I hope it's my last time too.

The Girl Who Slept Too Little

This episode premiered on September 18th, 2005. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by The War At Home. It ran opposite the ABC Sunday Night Movie (Pearl Harbor), The Primetime Emmy Awards and The West Wing.

The title comes from the 1956 film The Man Who Knew Too Much. 

The couch gag is claymation, clay balls roll into the living room and eventually turn into the family, including a blue Gumby. The family gives him the side eye.

The family is woken to the sound of construction, the city is building a stamp museum behind their house. They organize a protest and the family sabotages the construction. The museum gets moved to the cemetery and they move the cemetery outside the family's back door. Lisa's room looks out over the cemetery, Bart tells her that she's the first one to be eaten by the zombies. Lisa can't sleep so they promise to do something nice for her, they go to the Stamp Museum. At the museum they think they are going to see a movie about The Land Of The Wild Beasts but instead it's a commercial for The Land Of The Wild Feasts. Lisa overhears Homer and Marge talking about other people. They decide to spend the night in Lisa's room but get creeped out. Marge decides then need therapy, the psychiatrist suggests that Lisa is trying to overcome neglect by acting more adult and suggests a 10 week $4000 program "Overcome Childhood Fears, Homer steals the book and trashes the office as he tries to flee. Lisa decides to conquer her fear by spending the night in the cemetery. Lisa comes across Dr. Nick robbing graves to steal body parts. The police show up looking for the grave robber but Wiggum ends up alone, he gets scared and strips off his uniform, then turns on his Walkman and dances around naked. (seriously). Lisa panics and hits her head on a headstone and knocks herself out. Homer and Marge go looking for her. Lisa has a series of nightmares about a dead grandma, spider Bart and she's married to a slug Milhouse. She then comes to in the Land Of Wild Beasts. The creatures tell her it's OK to get scared and she could just close her blinds at night. Homer and Marge find Lisa in the morning. Lou finds Wiggum hiding in a tree and bribes him down with a pizza bagel. 

Gumby is a stop motion character created in 1953

Joke of the episode, Marge complains about the construction sounds, she tells Homer to do something about the noise so he shoves a pillow in her mouth. 

Protest signs at the Stamp Museum construction: Cancel The Stamp Museum / Make War Not Stamps / Springfield Docent Like Museums / Death To America Stamps / Homer drives by on his lawnmower wearing an extra small pair of jean shorts with a sign that says Jiggling For Justice 

Series regulars protesting the museum: The Hibberts / The Flanders / Carl / Lenny / The Lovejoys / Apu / Sideshow Mel / Mrs. Glick

The 1965 song Eve Of Destruction by Barry McGuire plays during the stamp protest.

Maggie watches the Sesame Street Count, Marge yells at him to go back to his own country. She really became a bigot after the episode There's Something About Marriage.

Continuity error, in multiple previous episodes Lisa's room looked out front towards the street and Bart's faced the back of the house.

Lenny turned his yard into parking for the stamp museum, the parking areas are Carl, Ralph and Selma. This is a spoof on the original Disneyland parking lot where the parking areas were labeled with various characters. 

Land Of The Wild Beasts by Milton Burkheart is a spoof on Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak. 

The commercial is for the Hillside Wrangler Steakhouse. (now in one inconvenient location) This is a twisted spoof on the Hillside Strangler. 

Lisa sees Gravedigger Billy, Groundskeeper Willie's cousin. He steals a watch from a corpse. 

Psychiatry Row: 99¢ Shrink / Quack In The Box / Sit 'n' Weep 

Dr. Nick pretends to be Dr. Octopus and says he will have an upside down kiss with Mary Jane. This is a reference to the 2002 movie Spider-Man

Headstone: Loving Aunt, So-So Mother.

Itchy And Scratchy: Scratchy goes to the broadway show Cats. He gets bored and kills himself. 

This was another episode with the ever changing "what's out the back door of the Simpsons house. 

Milhouse Of Sand And Fog

This episode premiered on September 25th, 2005. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 60 Minutes and The West Wing.

The title comes from the 1999 novel and 2003 movie The House Of Sand And Fog

The couch gag is the family runs in, the menu from TIVO pops up and asks Delete This Recording? with a Delete This Recording Now or Don't Delete option. The cursor clicks on Delete and the screen goes to the TV credits

At church Maggie is itching, Marge wants to ask Dr. Hibbert but he's joined a new church. Hibbert diagnoses Maggie with chicken pox. Homer was never infected so Marge wants him to stay away from Maggie. When Ned finds out Maggie is infected he wants to bring Rod and Todd over so they'll catch it as a child, he tells Homer about Pox parties. Homer sets up a party and charges $15 per child. Kirk brings Milhouse and Marge invites him to join the rest of the parents in the kitchen. Luanne doesn't realize that Kirk is there and shows up for the party. They have a conversation while drinking and make out in Homer's bedroom. Homer gets infected with chicken pox after drinking from Maggie's bottle. Kirk and Luanne go through a trial unseperation. Mihouse gets mad because his parents are paying more attention to each other than him, he and Bart plan on getting them to break up. Lisa watches the OC and a couple break up when the girl finds a bra. They decide to plant one at Milhouse's house, but it's Marge's and labeled. When Luanne comes to the Simpsons she tells Homer about the bra and he confronts Marge, they break up and Bart overhears the whole thing. Lisa figures out that Bart was responsible and threatens tell Marge. Bart confesses but Marge still won't let Homer come back. Bart and Mihouse can't figure out what to do, Lisa tells them to butt out and let the parents solve it themselves, instead Bart tricks them into seeing him stand over a cliff. Milhouse is suppose to push a dummy over a cliff but instead shoves Bart, he falls downed into the river. Homer jumps in to save him As they get tot he edge of the fall Marge jumps in, tied to a tree and pulls them both out. Marge realizes that Homer trusts her and they get back together. Milhouse then jumps into the river and they watch him float by. 

First Church of Springfield sign: Quit St3aling our L3tt3rs. Nelson runs up and steals an L, and two 3's. 

First A.M.E. (First African Methodist Episcopal) Church Of Springfield. This is a spoof on the church scene from The Blues Brothers. 

Chicken Pox Party, Come One Come All. Pox Box (with Maggie inside)

When Milhouse thinks about his parent's breakup Our House by Crosby Stills Nash and Young plays.

Milhouse calls Dr. Wexler. She was first mentioned in Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming when Milhouse was imagining shooting his parents and her from the cockpit of a fighter jet.

Homer gets a traffic ticket in the mail, he's fined $300 for ruining a stoplight while eating a donut and ready Cat Fancy magazine. 

Marge reads Hip Punishment to figure out how to punish Bart, she threatens to erase all the saved games on his PlayStation.

To come up with another plan Milhouse imagines the musical Oklahoma. 

California by Phantom Planet plays during the OC scenes and the closing credits. 

Treehouse Of Horror XVI

This episode premiered on November 6th 2005. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and was followed by The War At Home. It ran opposite opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 60 Minutes and The West Wing.

Kang and Kodos are complaining about how boring a baseball game is so they decided to speed up time, they use an Accel-ray and the game goes into high speed. They create a black hole and suck everything, even God into non existence. They leave a note that says Treehouse Of Horror XVI. 

Baseball banner: Baked In A Pie, Tuesday's On Fox / Pomona (An OC spinoff) Wednesday At 9 Fox /

While speeding up time Kang complains they could shatter the fabric of the universe. Kodos says good, maybe the Cubs would finally win the World Series. 11 years later the Cubs would win defeating the Indians. 

When Kang and Kodos destroy the Universe God's face is seen for the first time on The Simpsons. Kang says "Smooth Move Space-lax" this is a spoof on the taunt "Smooth Move Ex-Lax"

B.I. Bartificial Intelligence

Marge is visiting Selma and Patty, Bart tries to jump into the complex pool from their apartment and winds up in a coma. The family gets a robot son and soon forget about Bart, just as he comes out of the coma. He comes home to find that he's been replaced and everyone love him. Bart tries to push Davy into the lion den but winds up in the mutant bird enclosure. Homer drives Bart out to the woods and dumps him out. He finds the land of abandon robots. The robots power down for the night but when they wake up they find Bart stole their parts and build a robot fighting suit. Bart attacks the robot and cuts it in half, and Homer too, Homer now has to use the robot legs but wakes up to find it was all a dream and he's possessed by the devil, and being exorcised. Marge calls to tell the plant that Homer won't be in because he possessed. 

The title of this segment and plot comes from the 2001 movie A.I. Artificial Intelligence

Robo-Tots. Now Sass Free. The cover image is a copy of the Coppertone ad with the dog pulling off the girl's bathing suit. You can see wires and gears instead of a butt. (In the modern world Coppertone changed the ad to hid the girls butt) The robot comes from Boys R Us.

New Kid In Town by Eagles plays during the montage of Bart and Davy (The robot) competing

Herbie Hancock's Rock It plays while robot legs dance, similar to the original video for the song. 

The devil scene is a spoof on the 1971 movie The Exorcist.

Survival Of The Fattest

Smithers drops off an invitation for Homer to go to a hunting party as Mr. Burns estate. The bottom of the invitation says (Sinister Laugh). Lisa begs Homer to not go because killing animals is bad. At dinner Burns announces that the guests will be hunted and anyone who survives until Noon shall be free. When the lawyer object Burns points out that he's paying him so the lawyer draws up a legal contract allowing Burns to go on with the hunt, Burns then shoots him. Marge and Lisa are watching the hunt on Fox. Terry Bradshaw is the guest commentator. Several guys are hiding in a tree, Homer tries to climb up but accidentally flings everyone else in the air, Burns shoots them like skeet. Moe lands on a weathervane and then discovers he has a winning lottery ticket in his pocket. While the survivors are sitting around a campfire Burns strafes them from a biplane. Burns shoots Homer but it turns out to be dead Barney that Homer is working with marionette strings. Homer falls out of a tree and Burns is just about to shoot him when Marge shows up and hits Burns and Smithers with a frying pan. Her and Homer start to make out while Terry Bradshaw watches. 

The title of the segment comes from the Charles Darwin theory Survival Of the Fittest

Regulars invited to Burn's "Hunting Party", Sideshow Mel / Moe / Barney / Carl / Lenny / Homer / Lou / Wiggum / Apu / Otto / Willie / Skinner / Kent Brockman / Professor Frink / Kirk / Pimple Face Teen / Dr. Hibbert / Dr. Nick / Reverend Lovejoy / CBG / Blue Haired Lawyer / Mr. Largo / Krusty / The YEEESSS guy from Costingtons / Sea Captain. 

A logo pops up The World Series Of Manslaughter. The most violent tv spectacle since the Hip Hot Image Awards. They made a similar reference in the episode Treehouse Of Horror XIV

TV Guide Must Flee TV with an image of Homer being chased by Burns in a Jeep.

I've Grown A Costume On Your Face.

Springfield is holding their annual halloween party in the central square. The finalists in the costume contest are a witch and Dr. Hibbert as Dracula (Quimby calls him Blackula). The witch turns out to be real and loses the award so she curses them to turn into their costumes. Disco Stu came as Steve Martin's Wild and Crazy Guy and the arrow really goes through his head. Nobody knows what to do until Lisa figure out that Maggie is a real witch. Half the town wants to change back while the other half likes their new self. Maggie changes them all into pacifiers. She then flies off to the Bewitched theme song. Moe then says does a PSA about illiteracy. Dennis Rodman shows up as a plea agreement over a speeding ticket.

The title of this segment comes from the song I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face from the 1956 Broadway musical My Fair Lady.

Springfield Semi-Annual Halloween Party

Simpson's costumes Marge is a skeleton, Homer is a headless man, Bart is a wolf boy (possibly Eddy from The Munsters), Lisa is Albert Einstein and Maggie is a witch.

Badly dated reference, Wiggum went as Jerrod from the Subway ads, he's happy he's lost weight and is sexually ambiguous. In 2015 Jerrod was arrested for possession of child pornography.

Terry Bradshaw and Dennis Rodman do their own voices.

This is the first season that didn't start with a Treehouse of Horror since Season 11.

We've reached episode 360. Other than Treehouse of Horror Season 17 is not off to a good start. Lets hope it gets better as we go along. 

 The Simpsons 351-355

Don't Fear The Roofer

This episode premiered on May 1st 2005. The lead in show was Malcolm In The Middle and it was followed by the next Simpsons episode. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Cold Case and The Contender.

The title comes from the song Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. The plot is based on the 2001 movie A Beautiful Mind

The opening credits say "350th Episode Man" even though this is episode 351. The running order of the series was thrown off when John Paul II died and they had to reschedule one episode, which is coming soon.

The couch gag is the image is a jigsaw puzzle, the person building it puts Maggie's head on Homer and vice versa, they switch them out and say "Woo Hoo".  (The hands building the puzzle aren't yellow btw)

It's raining hard in Springfield, Moe is putting glasses, and Barney, under the leaks at the bar. Kent Brockman asks Professor Frink what is going on, he says it's either a high pressure front or God is bowling. Krusty comes by but he sold all his weather jokes to Jay Moore. Homer uses a Hot Wheels track to drain the roof leak out of the house, Lisa's hamster ends up on it and destroys it. Everyone complains about the leaks so Homer gots to Moe's. When Homer walks through the door everyone sings "For You're A Jolly Good Fellow" but it's not for Homer. Stephen Hawking has moved to Springfield to open a Little Caesars. Lenny comes in while they are yelling at Homer and misses his surprise, then Homer goes to sit down but it's a barstool shaped cake, Carl yells at him for ruining that too so he leaves. Homer sees a sign that says "Welcome Home R" but when he gets closer it says Welcome Homer Rowdy Drinker and is for the club Knockers. Homer meets Ray Majini who offers to share his nachos plate. Ray is a roofer so Homer asks him to help with the roof, Ray says yes if Homer helps him with an enormous pitcher of beer. Homer and Ray decide to pick an awesome theme song and agree whatever plays on the jukebox will be it but Do That To Me One More Time by Captain & Tennille plays so they decide to wait for the next song. Ray shows up just after Marge and the family leave. SLH runs into the nursing home and all the seniors love him. Ray and Homer get into a nail gun fight but accidentally shoot up Ned's mower. Ray gets paged because his kid "attempted something" so he leaves, Homer crashes through the roof and makes a bigger hole and he passes out in the attic. Marge comes home and tells Homer off for not getting the job done. When Marge returns to the nursing home they find that SLH is acting old the Lisa wants to stay and watch Wheel Of Fortune. Homer runs into Ray who apologizes for not coming back, he and Homer agree that they are still friends and he promises to come back and help, but doesn't show up. Homer painted a portrait or Ray on the side of the house, and another one of an angry Marge. Homer spends the whole day waiting for Ray to show up, Marge finally tells him that Ray is just in his imagination. Homer falls off the roof and wakes up in a mental hospital. Dr Hibbert has him tied down and everyone says they never saw Ray, Bart says he saw Homer talking to himself and Ned was on the ground when Homer was on the roof. The bartender at Knockers didn't see Ray either. Lisa proves that Ray Magini is an anagram for Imaginary. Then Homer sees Ray on the roof next to the hospital. Dr. Hibbert recommends electroshock therapy. After 6 weeks Homer is released from the mental hospital, Ray shows up, he and Homer get into a fight. They then explain why nobody saw Ray, bartender had an eye patch so he didn't see Ray, Ned didn't see Ray because he was behind the chimney and Bart didn't see him at the building center because a mini black hole had opened up behind Ray, Stephen Hawking shows up to explain that one. In the end Homer demands that Dr. Hibbert come fix the roof to make up for the electroshock. Instead of the shush lady Stephen Hawking says "Bada bing, bada boom, and we're done" at the end of the credits.

Stephen Hawing does his own voice and Ray Romano does the voice of Ray. They both had been on the show before.

Homer's recipe for the worlds best tasting cola, Homer Cola: Sugar, water, bubbles, and ?, he loses it out the car window.

Knockers is a spoof on Hooters. There is a sign that says "No Looking at our Waitresses' Enormous Breasts

When Ray says he's a roofer Homer imagines Roof Damage+Ray=Happy Marge. When Ray offers to share his pitcher of beer Homer imagines Homer+Beer=Crashed Car but he asks himself if he added that right and reimagines Homer+Beer=President Homer, his first act is to do a slam dunk.

Homer is wearing a shirt that says Knockers on Route 98

Marge is taking Bart to be circumcised, how very odd.

Homer says he bought the house for the view, it's a billboard: Krusty Flakes, It's like eating a birthday cake for Breakfast. 

Homer goes to Builder's Barn for roofing supplies. This is a spoof on Home Depot.

Calmwood Mental Hospital "We now treat March Madness"

Self Aware Joke: Ray promotes Everybody Loves Raymond, he says "catch it while you can". The last episode was on May 16th, three weeks later. 

The Heartbroke Kid

This episode premiered on May 1st 2005 immediately following the previous episode (above) and was followed by Family Guy. It ran oppose the same programs as the previous episode.

The title is based on the film The Heartbreak Kid, the 1972 version not the 2007 remake that was two years in the future. 

The couch gag is a repeat of the catapult. 

The show starts in a war zone, Skinner is a sergeant when his squad is attacked by a Swingline stapler, when one man is stapled to the ground medics charge forward with a giant stapler remover. Chalmers is a three star general who catches Skinner playing with his toy soldiers. Chalmers has come to pick the vendor who will supply the new candy and soda machines in the school. Scarf-ables has a talking vending machine which instantly makes the kids addicts. Lisa starts to complain but the machines start talking and convinces the kids to buy snacks. Bart sells his skateboard to Willie to buy snacks. When Bart says the machines feed him Marge is upset that she's been replaced. Homer imagines what robot Marge would be like but she shoots him. There is a repeat of the opening set Three Weeks Later, instead of a chalkboard gag a fat Bart is seen jamming quarters into a vending machine. After a redo of the opening credits Bart has a heart attack and Dr. Hibbert insists he goes on a strict diet. Bart is still eating junk food. Krusty comes on to talk about his heart attack. Bart tries going on a diet but is allergic to cauliflower. While Bart is trying to be healthy the family goes to the milkshake festival, free milkshakes for 10 year old boys. Bart has a hidden stash of candy behind a Krusty poster. The family holds an intervention for Bart. He tries to talk his way out of it and run away but the family sends him off to fat camp. To pay for it the family turns Bart's room into a Hostel. At fat camp they make the people scoop ice cream into the trash but Bart drills a hole in the floor and starts sucking it down. The fat camp director takes Bart to see what the rest of the family is doing to pay for it. Homer is humiliated into serving Germans and singing 99 Luftballons. Bart breaks into the school and wrecks all the vending machines, and takes all the money to help the family. Even though Bart has sworn to go on a diet they still have three weeks on their non refundable fat camp, so they send Homer. 

Albert Brooks does the voices of both Tab Spangler and Jacques the bowler. 

Vending machine applicants: Sea Captain with a gumbo machine, he burns his hand / Gil with a request jar (he says he'll run down to the store and get the kids what they want) / Lindsay Nagel is promoting Scarf-ables that offer snacks featuring Scammer and Z Dog. They also sell Hip Hopsicles.

Snacks available in the vending machines: Dalai Lamanade / Krishna Krisps / Amazonkers / Lollapalollipops / Everylasting Copkillaz / Choco-Nards / Chip-Hops / L'il Gammers / Buggin Ballz

Lisa has a megaphone Li'l Agitator. 

Yummy Yummy Yummy by Ohio Express plays during a montage of Bart scarfing snacks. 

Fat Bart Chalkboard Gag, he is buying and scarfing snacks from the vending machine, slowly leaves the school, his skateboarding is cracking the sidewalk, when he spins around the light pole he bends it over, he knocks over Helen Lovejoy, scares Apu's dog, knocks Moe through the bar window, runs over Jacque's foot, scares Wiggum who shoots the beer out of Barney's hand, runs into Marge's car causing her to spin out of control, crushes Homer's car knocking Homer down in the process, slowly waddles into the house and has a heart attack in the living room. On a note Bleeding Gums Murphy is in the original sequence but not this one, because he's dead.

When Bart has a heart attack Homer shouts at him "Do The Bartman!" The song was a hit in 1990.

Springfield General Hospital "If the surgeon leaves it in you, it's yours"

The Itchy And Scratchy Show. Kitty-Kill Condition. Dr. Itchy Feline Cardiologist. Scratchy is walking by Itchy's doctor office and goes inside. Itchy puts Scratchy on a treadmill, then angles it upwards, opens a pit of alligators behind him and then a flaming hoop starts going around. Scratchy has a heart attack so Itchy gets a bone saw and cuts him open and yanks out his heart, which runs away to hide. Itchy catches it, stuffs a stick of dynamite into hit and returns it into Scratchy, Scratchy comes to and Itchy has a picture of himself in bed with Scratchy's wife. Scratchy has another heart attack and dies. At his funeral the dynamite goes off killing his family. 

Dr. Itchy's check list, Have you ever been: Churned Into Butter / Decapitated By A Windmill / Impaled By The Space Needle / Squashed By The Moon / Printed Into Money / Tricked Into Eating Yourself / Hung By Your Own Intestines / Impaled on a Cactus / Killed In A Plane Crash With Buddy Holly. Scratchy checks yes on each blank. These are all things that happened in previous episodes.

Bart's candy stash is hidden behind a poster of Krusty that is a spoof on the Rita Hayworth poster that Andy Dufrense uses to cover up his escape tunnel in the 1994 movie The Shawshank Redemption. 

Patty and Selma's license plate MANH8TR.

Serenity Ranch: When Diet, Exercise and Surgery Aren't Enough. 

Regulars at fat camp, Kent Brockman / Apu / Wolfcastle 

When the fat camp counselor makes the clients pull his chariot its named Chubby Chaser (slang for people who are attracted to fat people)

When Marge gets the fat camp bill she says Jimminy Kimmel. This is a reference to Jimmy Kimmel who had been the host of Jimmy Kimmel Live since 2003.

Bart says he "raged against the machine and money fell out", this is a reference to the band Rage Against The Machine. 

Self aware joke: When Bart says he's not going to listen to made up corporate shills Homer says "did you hear that Foxy the Fox Network Fox?"

When Bart gives Homer and Marge the money from the machines Marge says she's going to give the Germans Das Boot. This is the name of the 1981 German drama about the U-Boat in WWII.

A Star Is Torn

This episode premiered on May 8th, 2005. The lead in show was Malcolm In The Middle and it was followed by the next The Simpsons episode. It ran opposite the regular programs.

The title comes from the films A Star Is Born (this has been used in a past Simpsons episode)

The couch gag is a repeat of the Get Smart opening.

The Simpsons go to the Kwik-E-Mart but Snake is holding up the place, Apu whispers to them to call the police but Homer needs change for the pay phone. Apu won't make change without a purchase. They decide to go to Cletus's farm stand instead, Marge makes a vegetarian dinner, the family has digestive issues, except for Lisa. The next day the family is back to eating junk food. Krusty is holding a talent contest, Krusty's Li'l Starmaker Singing Competition, the winner will be animated into an Itchy And Scratchy cartoon. At the tryouts Ralph sings half the ABC song and ends with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  Clarissa sings Mockingbird and the audience loves her, it was the song Lisa was going to sing. Homer promises to write Lisa a winning song (Homer wrote a grammy winning song in the episode Homer's Barber Shop Quartet). Milhouse sings When A Man Loves A Woman and is heckled off stage. Lisa sings a  song about Springfield that mentions most of the audience, everybody loves Lisa. Lisa's win goes to Homer's head. When the lighting guy won't give Lisa a green spotlight Homer goes and punches him. All the girls go crazy over Cameron. Homer writes a song about Snowball dying on Christmas. Clarissa gets eliminated so it's down to Lisa and Cameron. Homer goes nuts and attacks the pimple faced kid for bringing the wrong licorice, Lisa fires Homer so he becomes the manager of Cameron. Homer calls himself Captain Cool and wants Cameron to change his name to Johnny Rainbow. Lisa writes her own song and it's about Homer. Homer faked the whole thing and wrote a song about being better than the audience, everybody boos Cameron. The show ends with Homer and Lisa practicing "Jazz Hands" in the back yard.

Fantasia Barrino does the voice of Clarissa Wellington.

Cletus is selling "Organic Vittles" A spoof on the food trend of the 21st century. 

The family is eating Shakespeare's Fried Chicken.

Krusty's Li'l Starmaker's slogan is Not Affiliated With American Idol, We Never Even Heard Of American Idol. The show has been on the air since 2002.

The singing competition grand prize of being animated into an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon is a spoof on when The Simpsons held the Who Shot Mr. Burns competition with the grand prize being animated into the series. (what actually happened to the prize is still a bit of a controversy)

Springfield Mall Li'l Starmaker Auditions, Warning: We're looking for cute, not creepy. 

Lisa imagines being on Itchy And Scratchy. They are having a Musketeers style fight when she shows up on a My Little Pony unicorn and cuts off both their heads, which become impaled on the horn. She does a PSA for spaying and neutering and then throws the heads into a cauldron of acid. 

Self aware joke, Krusty says he has to do 27 seasons of DVD commentary, and doesn't remember nothing. The Simpsons were on their 16th season and now have done 35.

When Ralph fails at the singing competition Lisa says I can't believe I use to date him. This is a reference to the episode I Love Lisa

Bart says Clarissa sings like Whitney Houston brought to life. Houston would die 7 years later. 

The Toothless Elephant Piano Store. 

Buzz Cola. Brown, Fizzy, Real. They sponsor the trap door in the competition, "fall into the flavor hole"

Springfield Shopper headline: Li'l Starmaker Fever Sweeps Springfield! / 10-Year-Old Boy Disqualified. Is Actually Paul Simon / Li'l Starmaker Down To Three Finalists. 

Thank God It's Doomsday

This episode premiered on May 8th, 2005. The lead in show was the previous Simpsons episode (see above) and was followed by Family Guy. It ran opposite the regular programs.

The couch gag is the family all look like Moe. 

Marge tricks the kids to come inside for haircuts but they want to go to the mall barber. Marge refuses to drive them but just then Homer comes in and announces he's going to the mall because Cinnabon is throwing out the old stuff. Bart isn't paying attention so the barber gives him a buzz, he and Lisa gets into a razor fight and give each other a horrible cut, just as the school photo club is trying to get a picture to display in the hall for the whole year. The club chases them into the the back door of the theater but the photographers are locked out, instead they take pictures of Skinner's shirt sticking out of his zipper. The Simpsons end up in a theater watching the film Left Below, a He Is Risen production. The movie is about the rapture, it makes Homer panic but Marge calms him down with a little "snuggling". The next day Homer sees the devil but it's a guy promoting In 'N' Out Devil's Food Cake. Next it's raining blood but it is a harpooned whale that his being helicoptered to a vet. Homer goes to a Christian book store and buys everything about the rapture. Marge sews the kids wigs to wear until their real hair grows out. Homer does his Bible math and comes up with the Rapture happening at 3:15 pm 05/18, one week away. Homer goes to downtown to spread the message, wearing a sign that says The End Is Near. Homer also points out that the Bible says the stars will fall to earth. The family asks Homer to calm down so they watch TV, the Blue Angles crash through Duff blimp and all the special stars on board crash into the stadium, Homer realizes this is the final sign. The locals show up and ask Homer to save them, he tells them they have to go to the Springfield Mesa. Lisa begs Homer to end his nonsense. The countdown ends, the clouds roll in and...nothing happens. Everybody gets mad, Nelson laughs at Homer and they head back to town. CBG calls Homer Nostradumbass. Since Moe thought that the end was coming he sold his bar and gave the money to charity, so now he has to work as a sushi chef. As Homer is throwing away his rapture stuff he realizes he based his math on the 12 Apostles but forgot that Jesus was also at the Last Supper and needed to calculate by 13. He realizes that the Rapture is happening in a half hour, nobody believes him so he goes alone. Once again he thinks nothing is happening but instead he's lifted to Heaven. Los Lobos is performing in Heaven, since they were killed during the Krusty special. Homer's guide shows him channel 23, the Earth channel where he sees his family in a lake of lava after being Left Below. Homer goes to see God to ask him help with the family but God refuses so Homer starts to trash the place out. God agrees to turn back time and restore the earth. He offers to help Homer with his alcoholism but Homer just takes a couple of pamphlets on the subject, Homer asks for something secret. Homer wakes up on the mesa and thinks it was all just a bad dream. When Homer gets back he finds that Moe's has been restored, his request from God.

Baha Men do a version of Who Let The Dogs Out, Who Wants A Haircut. Los Lobos performing the closing credit song.

Da Buzz Club. You can't put a price on looking cool. Cool haircuts $30

Skinner is holding a shopping bag labeled Medium Brown Bag. This is a spoof on Bloomingdale's Little Brown Bag. 

Movie newspaper headline: America Today paper. Permissive Lifestyle On Rise, Bible Mocked. 

Left Below is a spoof on the 2000 movie Left Behind, The Movie. 

Homer says Left Below will haunt him for the rest of his life, just like Cannonball Run II. 

In 'N' Out Devil's Food Cake is a spoof on In-N-Out Burger

Gospel For Less Christian Bookstore. A spoof on Shoes For Less.

Book at the Christian Book Store: 1989, The Year Of Armageddon / Any Day Now / Rapture For Dummies / Tuesdays With Morrie In Hell / Chicken Soup For The Dammed 

Krusty The Clowns Celebrity Salute To Specials. 

Celebrities on the Duff blimp, Krusty / David Crosby / Joan Rivers / Kathy Griffith / Ron Howard (in a bathrobe of course) / Bette Middler / David Byrne / Los Lobo 

The Warren Harding Memorial Thru Hole.

Flanders comes over to check out the Rapture Party but Homer tells them it's a meeting of Gay Witches for Abortion. 

Moe's is now Tokyo Roe's Sushi Bar. This is a spoof on Tokyo Rose who use to broadcast surrender messages to American soldiers during WWII.

When Homer wakes up the family Lisa complains that they have school tomorrow, but Bart is dressed in fishing gear. 

Rotating images above Homer's bed in heaven, Van Gogh's Haystacks in Province, Rembrandt's Syndics, Farrah Fawcett's Red bathing suit poster. 

Photos in God's office, him with Einstein, Marilyn Monroe and Abe Lincoln 

Heaven time is an hour behind London. 

While trashing out Heaven Homer tells Dean Martin that he squandered his talent. 

In order to restore the earth God says Deus Ex Machina, this translates to God From The Machine and is an expression filmmaker use to describe a plot point that clears up story problems with a simple explanation.

The final shot of Homer at Moe's is a spoof on Da Vinci's Last Supper, with Homer in the Jesus position.

This episode made me laugh extra hard because a month before I watched it (I write these blogs well in advance of publishing them btw) there was all the hoopla about the Eclipse being the "Sign of the rapture", which didn't happen. One of the people who predicted it then recalculated and claimed the Rapture would happen a few months later. If you're reading this it means nothing happened, again. 

Home Away From Homer

This episode premiered on May 15th 2005. The lead in show was Malcom In The Middle and it was followed by the next Simpson episode (The Father, The Son and the Holy Guest Star). It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Survivor and The Contender.

The title comes from the expression Home Away From Home

The chalkboard gag is "A Booger Is Not A Bookmark" and the couch gag is a repeat of the giant fish. 

Lisa is listening to Verbal Tea with Amy Levine-Gonzalez on Nationwide Public Radio, the topic is Peruvian banjo music "It's just not that good". They are giving away tickets to the latest film by director Mladzieul Klernt, Kosovo Autumn,  Lisa is the only one to call in. Homer is excited to go to the movies, he wants to leave Maggie with the TV on but it's either shark week or horror movies, Marge insists on a baby sitter so he goes to Flanders to keep an eye on her. The movie is boring but Homer is stuck in his chair and can't escape. Ned collects Humble figurines, when he goes to show Maggie his full collection he discovers they are all destroyed with a note that says "My Bad -Homer". To make extra money Marge convinces Ned to rent out his extra room. "Room for rent, no pagans". Nelson and the Cat Lady both show up but are turned away. Two Christian girls show up and Ned rents them the room, it turns out that they have a web site for Sexy Slumber Party dot Com. Bart and Milhouse stumble across the channel and see Ned walk in, they start laughing at him. Homer catches the kids watching the girls but isn't mad when he finds out that Flanders doesn't know what's going on. Homer goes all over town to tell everyone. Marge catches Homer and Bart watching the web site and forces Homer to tell Ned the truth. Ned kicks the girls out and finds out that the entire town is laughing at him and becomes depressed. He decides to move to Humbleton PA where his figurines are made. The Simpson's new neighbor turns out to be a bully. Humbleton looks like a Bavarian town and all the residents look like the figurines. Ned gets a job at the Humble factory painting dimples on the figurines but has to shave off his mustache, he decides to keep it, shocking the entire town. The mayor gives Ned a "You're On Thin Ice" figurine. The new neighbor cuts down the trees and they crash through the Simpson's power lines, he also stole the gas out of Homer's car for his chainsaw. Homer shows up at Ned's new house and begs him to come back to Springfield. Ned is saying he wants to stay until the town mocks him for not putting his mail flag all the way down. Ned asks the bully to give him back the house and points out that the check bounced. The bully tries to punch Ned but is forced into submission, Homer takes advantage of the situation and hits him with a chair. Homer steals the organ from the church for Ned's welcome home party. 

Jason Bateman does his own voice.

This episode does the entire opening credit scene.

Marge sews a home sampler "Don't Leave Chicken Bones On The Floor"

Movies at the art theater Kosovo Autumn / Craving Molly, Alaska / Oppenheimer's Elevator 

The theater has the magazine Queer Focus

Humble figurines Summer Dreamin' / Mommy's Shoes / Shavin' Like Daddy (the kid has cuts all over his face) / First Allergic Reaction (the kid as a giant swollen hand) 

Ned's store The Leftorium has been slow since Left Mart came to town, this is a spoof on Walmart.

Bart is asking Ask Jeeves why he sucks. Ask Jeeves became Ask in 2006. 

When Homer catches Bart and Milhouse watching the girl's website he says tell me what you're laughing at, and if you say Jimmy Fallon I'll know you're lying. He had quit SNL in 2004 to launch his movie career but took over Late Night when Conan left and eventually wound up hosting The Tonight Show. And yes, he still isn't funny.

First Church Of Springfield. Today: Bobble-Head Moses Giveaway. 

When Marge forces Homer to tell Ned the truth he says he's thinking of starting a frozen yogurt store called Plops. Oh how I laughed at that one. 

Homer brings Ned a basket of cookies with a note "I'm Sorry Stupid Flanders"

The new neighbor uses Starving Teachers movers. Krabappal, Skinner and Mr. Ludwig are the movers. 

The new neighbor's door mat says Ring Bell For Free Ass Kicking. 

The neighbor plays The Beasty Boys Fight For Your Right (To Party) while working out. 

Humble Figurine Factory 273 days without a Boo Boo.

When Ned decides to not shave off his mustache he says "My body, my choice". That slogan has been in the news a lot these days. 

Bad Company by Bad Company plays over a montage of Ned flaunting his mustache around town. 

Celebrity Chop Shop strips Jason Bateman's Bently. 

The Humbeltonian headline: Hair Fuhrer (with a photo of Ned).

Ned listens to Tutti Frutti by Pat Boone.

Mr. Ludwig plays Freeze Frame by The J. Geils Band at Ned's welcome home party. 

A quick note on this and the next episode. Disney + has them listed in the production order but I'm watching them in the release order. This episode was produced after the next episode but that episode was rescheduled from its original release date due to the death of Pope John Paul II, I'll go into details about that when I watch it. It screwed up the season's run order and resulted in the episode Don't Fear The Roofer being episode 351 even though the opening credits called it Episode 350. So instead of watching the Disney+ order I'm watching the original run order. If you're following on Disney+ this was episode 21 of the 16th season but I'm watching it as the 20th. (both episodes ran on the same night so it wouldn't really matter but it's my game so it's my rules)

Meanwhile we've come to the end of another 5 episode. We're past the time I refer to as the Dark Years and these shows weren't that bad but I had quit watching them in prime time for a while now. Mostly I caught them in reruns and even then it was in bits and pieces. Some of these episode I remember, some I remember the plot and others are ones that were on in the background and I wasn't really paying attention. Well, one more episode and I'll be done with the 16th season. And I will admit, I liked the next episode.

Just a quick note, I ended up having to work an extra shift last week so I was too tired to do The Simpsons plus I had all my weekend chores. So, that's why there wasn't a post last week. 

The Simpsons 346-350

On A Clear Day I Can't See My Sister

This episode premiered on March 6th 2005. The lead in show was Malcolm In The Middle and it was followed by Arrested Development. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Cold Case and Dateline NBC.

The title comes from the 1965 Broadway musical On A Clear Day You Can See Forever

The chalkboard gag is "Beer in a milk carton is not milk" and the couch gag is a repeat of the Powers Of Ten.

The students are heading to the Springfield Glacier, at 3 in the morning. Nelson is wearing a Glaciers Suck shirt. Bart trips Lisa and says "see you next fall". Skinner tries to get back with Edna but she rejects him. The bus starts sliding on the ice so Skinner busts out the chains, basically chains he uses to make the kids pull the bus up the hill. The glacier is now a puddle with a small chunk of ice in the middle, Lisa complains while the government official explains that there is no global warming and the glacier is just fine. Homer and Marge discover that Abe is a greeter at Sprawl Mart. While trying to get them a cart Abe loses control and crashes into a stack of gnomes, he asks Homer to take his place as the greeter. Bart carves "Lisa Smells" with a stick figure of her into a rock at the glacier park. Skinner tries to compare a glacier age mummy that froze and died alone to Krabappal so she makes out with the park ranger to prove how over Skinner she is, he in turns makes out with the mummy. Lisa complains about the melting glacier while Bart makes it sound like she's passing gas with a walkie talkie. Lisa falls into the lake and Bart mocks her so she files a restraining order against him, the first time he violates it he winds up in jail. Gary Busey stars in the restraining order video. To make sure Bart stays 20 feet away Homer gives Lisa a pole he built out of a broom, baseball bat, fishing poll, toilet bowl brush and screwdriver. Bart has to leave the school building because of the order and winds up in Willie's shack. Lisa starts harassing Bart. Homer gets promoted to executive greeter, which means he gets to work overtime for free. Marge goes to court to get the restraining order lifted but Bart insults the judge and she extends it to 200 feet. Bart winds up living in the back yard in a tent. He starts to like living outside. The manager locks the employees in the store overnight and shocks them with "compliant chips" the company put in their heads. when Homer finds out the other employees have been stealing from the company he crashes through the front door with a forklift full of plasma tvs. Bart starts running with a pack of feral dogs. Marge asks Lisa to reconsider the restraining order but she complains. Bart builds a straw figure of Lisa so she figures he's changed, but he was planning on torching it to break her curse. She sets it on fire and burns her poking stick and restraining order. The family comes out to play Spanish Flea while Bart chases the cat. 

Gary Busey does his own voice.

Uter says pulling the bus up the hill makes him feel like he was in the movie Fitzcarraldo, Nelson calls it flawed and punches him. Fitzcarraldo is a 1982 German movie about a rubber baron in Peru who has his workers haul a riverboat over a mountain.

Sprawl*Mart "Not a parody of Wal*Mart" / "Don't watch 60 Minutes this week" / "If you worked here you'd be poor by now"

In the episode The Fat And The Furriest Abe was working as a greeter at Sprawl*Mart.

Skinner has a beach towel that says "I got wood at Sequoia National Park" He was unaware of the double entendre.

Instead of a pamphlet they have a video tape on how to handle restraining orders. Get Out Of My Dreams And Also Out Of My Car: A Guide To Your Restraining Order. (I miss Troy McClure) Gary Busey shows up in the video and puts another video into another VCR and plays another video So You've Got A Restraining Order.

To force Homer to work overtime the management of Sprawl Mart make up a fake passport for him: Name Homer Sanchez / Nationality Mexicana / Date of Issue 20 March / Authority Mexico

Springfield Family Court: Meet Curtis The Custody Kangaroo

With Bart out of the house the family plays Little Spanish Flea by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.

While Bart is peeing outside the 1966 song Born Free plays.

This is another ever changing view out the Simpsons back yard. In this episode it's all woods and open fields.

This was another episode that reached a point and they just kind of said, "well, it's over". 

Goo Goo Gai Pan

This episode premiered on March 13th 2005. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite Extreme Makeover, Cold Case and The Contender.

The title is based on the Chinese dish Moo Goo Gai Pan

The couch gag is a group of eyeballs enter the room, when the family rushes in the lights go on and they all shout "Surprise!", Homer falls over from a heart attack.

Mr. Burns has to take a driving test but Selma goes through a series of hot flashes and opens the car's roof, causing it to act like a sail, they lose control and almost run over Milhouse. Selma finds out she's going through menopause. She's upset that she won't have children Patty suggests adopting a child. They go to the adoption center but the only child is Cletus's and he comes to get it back, Lisa suggests adopting a Chinese baby. China will only allow her to adopt a child if she's married, she tried to use McGyver but they know who he is so she put's Homer's name on the application, which also means he has to go to China with her. She flies the entire family to China, they get Homer drunk and tell him about the scam, he's not happy but agrees to do it for Marge. The adoption will take a couple of days so Homer and Selma has to pretend to be married for the adoption agent. The family visits the tomb of Mao and the Great Wall (Mongolian invaders are trying to get over using pogo sticks). They go to a Kabuki performance of Death Of A Salesman. Homer claims to be an acrobat however at the show the main acrobat suffers from a bout of "free will" and is shot so Homer has to do the stacking chair stunt, the chairs collapse from under his weight and he winds up in the hospital. Selma gets Ling Bouvier. Marge and Homer "snuggle" in the hospital but Madam Wu sees them and comes to take the child back. Lisa has a plan to get the baby back, they disguise Homer as a Buddha statue. They put him in the orphanage so he sneaks in to steal Ling but the room is full of babies, he finds the one who reacts to him. Madam Wu shows up in a tank to stop the Simpsons but Selma talks to her about breaking the rules for the hopeless. Madam Wu lets them keep the baby and they sail off on a Junk while Chinese Dragons sing a song about the American jerks. David Silverman shows how to draw Bart during the closing credits. 

Robert Wagner does his own voice. Lucy Liu does the voice of Madam Wu

Regulars in the couch surprise, Kent Brockman, Willie, Smithers, Agnes, Ned, Dr. Hibbert, Carl, Moe, Wiggum, Krabappal Barney, Sideshow Mel, Ralph, Professor Frink, Reiner Wolfcastle, Mr. Burns, CBG, Moelman Nelson, Dr. Nick, Apu, Krusty and Bumblebee Man.

Mr. Burns drivers license / No 000044 / Expires 1909 / Height 5-10 / Color Eyes Blue / Sex Male / Weight 85 / Hair Gray / Department Of Motor Vehicles Springfield.

Dr. Hibbert has a VHS on menopause, hosted by Robert Wagner. (did I mention that I miss Troy McClure)

Marge says she didn't realize Selma wanted to have children but that was the plot of the episode Selma's Choice.

Booberella shows Son Of Satan

Consulate of China: Russia's Wacky Neighbor

The Chinese memorial to General Gao is a take out container. 

Exports from the Chinese airport: Maine Lobster / Heartland Oatmeal / America's Choice Apple Pie

The family visits a Krusty Fried Chicken stand. 

Acrobatic Theater "The show ain't over 'til the thin man in drag shrieks

Homer's fortune cookie says They will take Selma's baby. (Note, fortune cookies aren't a Chinese thing, they came from San Francisco)

The Chinese are spying on Lisa with a fake Bart, he says "Don't have a cattle, dude" He also tells Homer "Feast on my shorts stupid father man"

Beijing Orphanage "Great Deals on the 2004's"

Tien An Man Square: On This Site, In 1989, Nothing Happened.

Selma standing in front of Madam Wu's tank is a spin on the Tank Man who defied the Chinese military during the Tiananman Square standoff.

This episode is banned in China and Hong Kong.

One of the ways to tell a show has run its course is when they add a baby to the cast. And yet the Simpsons continues 19 years later.

Mobile Homer

This episode premiered on March 20th, 2005. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the regular programs.

The title is based on the term Mobile Home

The couch gag is the family runs in and sits down until Homer rips off his mask revealing himself as Sideshow Bob, he pulls a knife and chases Bart around, knocking over the TV. The music from Cape Fear plays.

Marge takes the kids for a Sunday drive, Lisa complains about terrorism and ecological damage. Marge imagines a hunky Homer cleaning out the garage while they are gone, meanwhile Homer is getting drunk and goofing off. While trying to kill a spider Homer falls on Bart's skateboard and is crushed by the garage door, Bart did a drawing and gave Lisa a sealed envelope with a note, "This is what will happen." Lisa gives Homer CPR and saves his life. Marge insists on Homer buying life insurance. Homer honestly answers all the questions at the insurance company and is labeled uninsurable. Marge watches a movie about a rich woman who's husband drops dead and she ends up on the streets. "The real Brenda later went to Harvard Medical School....as a cadaver". Marge panics that the family has no savings. Homer gets mad at Marge saving money, he mocks her since she doesn't have a job, she points out how lazy he is at work. They have a fight over money so Homer steals Marge's savings jar and buys an RV, Marge kicks him out of the house. Homer turns the back yard into an RV park in exchange for beer. The RV fumes flood Ned's house, he sees Jesus and passes out. Marge locks the outside plug and the RV crowd leaves, Homer gets mad and he and Marge get into an all night fight. Bart and Lisa go to the motorhome to escape the fight, Bart steals the RV and tries to drive it back to the dealership. When trying to find their way they end up on the freeway. Marge chases them down but they get stuck behind a line of SUV's, however they come to a curve and they all roll over the side. Lisa demands that Homer and Marge kiss to prove they made up but when he demands an increase in his allowance Homer tries to strangle him and they wind up on a downhill run. The kids aim for the runaway truck ramp but it's still under construction and they crash onto a Turkish freighter. The ship starts to leave with the kids but Marge convinces them to return in exchange for a budget soup meal. Homer unloads the RV but drops it in the ocean and can't return it. Marge handles it well but the Turkish sailors felt she was a little uptight so they mixed a little "hash" into her food. 

When Homer cleans out the garage I looked for Easter eggs but there doesn't seem to be any. There is a stack of old TV guides and one has Alf on the cover. "Why Alf Hates Victoria Principal. The next one has Tubbs from Miami Vice. 

To kill the garage spiders Homer uses Charlotte's Dead Spider Poison, with Wilber on the label. 

Marge's Vacation album: Homer being beaten up by Goofy and Mickey / trapped in Lincoln's nose at Mt. Rushmore / stabbed with a bread loaf in Paris, Vacation by the Go-Gos plays while they are flipping through the book, Marge has it in a cassette player. 

Merry Widow Life Insurance: Denial, Anger, Acceptance, CA$H!

Wifetime TV Presents: From Homemaker To Homeless. 

Marge buys Budget-O's cereal "Great Frugal Taste"

Lisa wears a goodwill shirt from Hooter and Bart's says ERA Now, Nelson mocks them.

Columbia's Shame Discount Coffee

The RV tire cover says Klassy Krib.

To lure the kids into his RV Homer plays Welcome To The Jungle by Guns N Roses

The RV dealer has a gorilla in a t shirt that says No Payments 'Til 2008. That was three years in the future for this episode and 16 years in the past for us.

Homer got the RV at Bob's RV Round-Up. It was first seen in the episode Call Of The Simpsons in 1990, 15 years earlier. 

Bart's Note "Dear Mom And Dad, we don't want you guys to split up, so we're driving the RV back to the dealer"

Homer says Bart and Lisa stole a car and are home alone! When he says the second half he make the Kevin face from the 1990 movie. 

Homer's driving map is the Flintstone's Fun Map. He wrote on it "Dino, short for Dinosaur? Remember to Ask Jeeves" Ask Jeeves was a search engine that ran from 1997 until 2006. The site was shorting to Ask dot Com.

The Turkish Freighter is carrying a cargo of DVD's of Northern Exposure. The show ran from 1990 to 1995. The ship is heading to Kahramanmaras. 

Istanbul, Not Constantinople by They Might Be Giants and I've been Everywhere by Johnny Cash plays during the credits.

This was another Marge and Homer's marriage is in trouble episode. Not my favorites. 

The Seven Beer Snitch

This episode premiered on April 3rd 2005. It ran in its regular time slot and opposite the regular programs.

The title is based on the 1955 movie The Seven Year Itch.

The couch gag is the family sits down but suddenly a skewer comes out of the wall and stabs through the couch while the floor roos back revealing a fire, they are slowly rotisserie roasted.

The family goes to see Song Of Shelbyville. One of the characters is Springfield Billy, everyone hoots at him. The family is upset that the city is insulted. Marge goes to the meeting of the Springfield Cultural Activities Board to point out how they've been insulted and call on the city to be more culturally relevant. The Springfield Philharmonic plays at a basketball court and keeps getting hit by stray balls so they decide to build a concert hall. Marge writes a letter to Frank Gehry to ask him to build a concert hall, he crumples it up and throws it away but it inspires him to design the Springfield concert hall. Homer can't get the cat off his pants because she has gotten so fat. Everyone is disappointed in the first concert, Carl thought they were going to play the soundtrack to the movie Beethoven, not music from the German composer. The hall is abandon and the city is broke, Burns suggests they turn the hall over to him and he'll assume the debt. Burns converts the concert hall into a for profit prison. Homer applies for a job as a prison guard but he has to pass a drug test, Otto knows he'll fail so he switches labels with Homer's sample, Homer doesn't get the job. Lisa decides to follow Snowball to figure out why she's getting fat, Bart says he'd rather follow SLH to figure out what he's up to, just then the dog flies by in a biplane, ala Snoopy. It turns out Snowball has a second family. Burns is mad that his prison is losing money so Wiggum digs up some old laws to enforce. Homer kicks a can 5 times and gets arrested for the illegal transportation of trash. Snake tries to escape in the garbage truck, Homer thinks he fell in by mistake and alerts the guards, so they promote him to prison snitch. Homer rats out Dredric Tatum for having a tattoo and gets a plasma TV.  Lisa confronts the other family but Snowball likes them better, even doing tricks for them. Snake tells Homer there's going to be a prison break but it's a set up. Bart goes to the new house to find out why Snowball likes it better but when he comes out he has a pocket full of cookies and learned to dance. All the guards go outside the prison to catch the prisoners when they try to escape however the prisoners set up the distraction in order to kill Homer. He doesn't hear them coming because he's watching Booberella while wearing sound cancelling headphones. He tries to escape on a Segway and crashes through a balcony railing. Marge shows up to save Homer, they hide in the gas chamber. The guards break in and save Homer, Burns plans to make the place worse but Homer rats him out to the governor for the way he treats the prisoners. The governor moves all the prisoners to a garbage barge to fight it out to the last prisoner. Homer sneaks out of the house to go to Moe's and runs into Snowball. Cut to a scene of Homer rushing in to the concert hall to warn people that the hall is a death trap, Bart points out that he fell asleep in front of The Towering Inferno. 

Frank Gehry does his own voice. 

The Springfield Concert Hall / Burns State Prison is based on the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles.

The Shelbyville Merchandise Mile "Our street performers won't bother you anymore"

Rich And Tall Men's Suits. 

The theaters in Shelbyville are showing Equus starring Sideshow Mel / The 3 Dollar Bills in Gay, Gay, Gay / Song Of Shelbyville

Shelbyville clams to be the birthplace of button fly pants. 

Springfield Shopper headline: God Steals Sun, Mayor offers sacrifice. 

Concert Hall Weekly headline: So Good It's Gehry. 

Springfield was the first city in America to abandon the metric system.

The Springfield Symphony plays Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. 

The concert hall sign,  Orchestra Tonight: Tickets Half Price! / XXX Movies All Day / An Evening With David Brenner. 

Prison Guards Wanted. Must know Microsoft PowerPoint, Sadism. 

When Otto is looking at his drug test sample In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly plays. 

Oh man, bad line of the night: Burns "I haven't seen this many drugs in a wang since I ran a Chinese Opium den." In the episode Treehouse of Horror XV Moe runs an opium den and Burns is a regular customer.

The cat food Lisa feeds Snowball is Bing and Purr

Wiggum finds laws to enforce in Loony Laws, Silly Statues and Wacky War Crimes.

In prison Homer reads the Montgomery Warden catalog.

Prison food: Shrimp casings / Pickled eyelids / Tendon Loaf / Churchill Downs Mystery Meat

Mary Bailey shows up as the Governor. She was first seen in the episode Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes On Every Fish.

Future-Drama

This episode premiered on April 17th 2005. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the regular programs.

The title comes from the series Futurama, which was also created by Matt Groening.

The couch gag is the family shows up as vehicles and transforms into humans, ala Transformers. Homer is a semi, Marge a Jet, Lisa a Jeep, Maggie a VW Bug and Bart is a sports car.

Bart and Lisa get into a fight and crash in Professor Frink's basement. He has a banner saying Welcome Bart and Lisa because he has mastered predicting the future, however there is a second banner that says "and Maggie" which he quickly yanks down. He is using astrology and an advanced computer to predict the future, he shows them what life will be like for them in the future. Marge takes a photo of Bart and Lisa in their prom clothes and it turns into a cake, because science has perfected magic. Lisa is graduating two years early. Marge and Homer are separated. Maggie sends a video post card from Alaska, due to global warming it's a tropical where the polar bear are dropping dead. Lisa is upset to find out Milhouse is her prom date. She started dating him when he saved her from a house fire, however he started the fire just for the stunt. Bart is dating Jenda, a skateboarding woman. Willie is trying to clean up smart puke, a result of bioengineered food. Nelson is at the prom with Sherri and Terri, who are both pregnant with his kid. Martin brings his robot but it self destructs to get away from him. Lisa is going to Yale on the Montgomery Burns Scholarship, his punishment for stealing Christmas. Bart hires Otto do drive the limo but he's stoned and jumps off a cliff. Bart takes Jenda to the makeout place and wants to go all the way, she thinks he means sex but he's talking about getting married. She dumps him because he's got no future. Homer is living in an underwater house, it takes three hours to decompress. Homer owns the first hovercar but it's a piece of crap. Homer and Bart go to Moe's, he has a clone to do the work. Homer hits on a couple of women at the bar but they turn out to be Mrs. Krabappal and Miss Hoover. Future Bart wishes he could tell his past self to work hard and not be such a screw up but 10 year old Bart isn't listening. Lisa breaks up with Milhouse, he goes on a roid rage. Lisa tells Bart to prove to Jenda that he has iniative, he gets a job at the Kwik-E-Mart, all of Apu's kids are his boss. Marge starts dating Krusty The Klown. Bart has to make a deliver to Mr. Burns but finds him tied up. It turns out Snake is robbing the place. When Snake takes a call on his phone Bart knocks him out with a diamond. Burns offers him the scholarship he was going to give to Lisa. Smithers goes on a date with a woman, he's taking Straight injections. Lisa is shocked to find out Bart is going to Yale, in both the future and the present. Lisa winds up having to go to Hot Dog On A Stick Management Camp. After Bart graduates Skinner tells him "You really press my cider", everyone is shocked. Sherri and Terri each have twins so Nelson goes out for a pack of cigarettes. Future Bart finds Frink's house and turns on the future machine, Lisa married Milhouse and they are broke and depressed, so Bart decides to not accept the scholarship. Just as Lisa is about to give in to Milhouse Bart saves her in Homer's hovercar. Frink tells Bart that he finds a woman who really loves him, at the age of 83, and then dies. Homer and Marge get back together after Krusty beast up Homer. They then watch VP Cletus, who is going to the funeral of the Sultan of Brunei. 

John DiMaggio does the voice of Bender, from Futurama and Amy Poehler does the voice of Jenda

Professor Frink's predictions are for 8 years in the future, that would be 2013 aka 11 years in the past today. 

The space ship at the first of the show is the alien ship from the 1982 movie E. T. It's a garbage truck in The Simpsons. 

The Larry David iPod experience plays Take On Me by A-Ha and True by Spandau Ballet. The last time the band was seen was at the Skinner-Krabappal wedding in the episode My Big Fat Geek Wedding.

Martin's robot first appeared in the episode Fat Man And Little Boy.

Gulf War 5: Find Our President's Head. 

Skinner is the principal and Kerney is now the assistant principal of Springfield High.

Chalmers is a vegetable after doing "Stim"

McDonalds owns Yale

The teen make-out site is Contraception Overlook. 

The 51st state is Saudi-Israelia

The police force are all robo-cops. 

Other futures on Frink's machine: Kang And Kodos invasion / VP Cletus / Moe Gets E-mail / Flanders' Revenge / Maggie's DUI / Lenny Super Pet

Homer's under water house is based on the house from the 1969 movie Hello Down There. 

I.G.A by Donald Fagen plays while Homer is driving his hovercar, they go through a Quantum Tunnel and end up with Bender the robot 

Plastic Surgery Center. Celebrity buttocks, nipple relocations and fluffy tails. Selma comes out with a tail. 

Give the apes the vote, you won't regret it. 

The whole city has become modern, except for Moe's. 

It's the future but the Kwik-E-Mart still sells 35mm film

Different Forbidden Zones: Radioactive / Smallpox / Eternal Midnight / Uni-Clams

Yale has banned men from taking science, Lisa is trying to figure out if she should take Femistry or Galgebra. 

Springfield High banner: Congratulations Graduates "You are no longer the future" Wow, they predicted Gen Z. Bwa ha ha ha ha.

Homer's banner: Conjradulations Hi Skool Grajauates.

Sea of Love by Phil Phillips plays when Homer and Marge are making out in his underwater house. 

We've reached another milestone 350 episode. Seriously though, I thought I would have given this up a long time ago and yet I keep going. Why? Anyhow the episodes are a a period of hits and misses, some are recycled storylines with a minor twist while others still maintain that old Simpsons charm. I guess I'll go ahead and keep going considering I'm nearing the halfway mark, an episode I liked and the movie.