The Simpsons 351-355

Don't Fear The Roofer

This episode premiered on May 1st 2005. The lead in show was Malcolm In The Middle and it was followed by the next Simpsons episode. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Cold Case and The Contender.

The title comes from the song Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. The plot is based on the 2001 movie A Beautiful Mind

The opening credits say "350th Episode Man" even though this is episode 351. The running order of the series was thrown off when John Paul II died and they had to reschedule one episode, which is coming soon.

The couch gag is the image is a jigsaw puzzle, the person building it puts Maggie's head on Homer and vice versa, they switch them out and say "Woo Hoo".  (The hands building the puzzle aren't yellow btw)

It's raining hard in Springfield, Moe is putting glasses, and Barney, under the leaks at the bar. Kent Brockman asks Professor Frink what is going on, he says it's either a high pressure front or God is bowling. Krusty comes by but he sold all his weather jokes to Jay Moore. Homer uses a Hot Wheels track to drain the roof leak out of the house, Lisa's hamster ends up on it and destroys it. Everyone complains about the leaks so Homer gots to Moe's. When Homer walks through the door everyone sings "For You're A Jolly Good Fellow" but it's not for Homer. Stephen Hawking has moved to Springfield to open a Little Caesars. Lenny comes in while they are yelling at Homer and misses his surprise, then Homer goes to sit down but it's a barstool shaped cake, Carl yells at him for ruining that too so he leaves. Homer sees a sign that says "Welcome Home R" but when he gets closer it says Welcome Homer Rowdy Drinker and is for the club Knockers. Homer meets Ray Majini who offers to share his nachos plate. Ray is a roofer so Homer asks him to help with the roof, Ray says yes if Homer helps him with an enormous pitcher of beer. Homer and Ray decide to pick an awesome theme song and agree whatever plays on the jukebox will be it but Do That To Me One More Time by Captain & Tennille plays so they decide to wait for the next song. Ray shows up just after Marge and the family leave. SLH runs into the nursing home and all the seniors love him. Ray and Homer get into a nail gun fight but accidentally shoot up Ned's mower. Ray gets paged because his kid "attempted something" so he leaves, Homer crashes through the roof and makes a bigger hole and he passes out in the attic. Marge comes home and tells Homer off for not getting the job done. When Marge returns to the nursing home they find that SLH is acting old the Lisa wants to stay and watch Wheel Of Fortune. Homer runs into Ray who apologizes for not coming back, he and Homer agree that they are still friends and he promises to come back and help, but doesn't show up. Homer painted a portrait or Ray on the side of the house, and another one of an angry Marge. Homer spends the whole day waiting for Ray to show up, Marge finally tells him that Ray is just in his imagination. Homer falls off the roof and wakes up in a mental hospital. Dr Hibbert has him tied down and everyone says they never saw Ray, Bart says he saw Homer talking to himself and Ned was on the ground when Homer was on the roof. The bartender at Knockers didn't see Ray either. Lisa proves that Ray Magini is an anagram for Imaginary. Then Homer sees Ray on the roof next to the hospital. Dr. Hibbert recommends electroshock therapy. After 6 weeks Homer is released from the mental hospital, Ray shows up, he and Homer get into a fight. They then explain why nobody saw Ray, bartender had an eye patch so he didn't see Ray, Ned didn't see Ray because he was behind the chimney and Bart didn't see him at the building center because a mini black hole had opened up behind Ray, Stephen Hawking shows up to explain that one. In the end Homer demands that Dr. Hibbert come fix the roof to make up for the electroshock. Instead of the shush lady Stephen Hawking says "Bada bing, bada boom, and we're done" at the end of the credits.

Stephen Hawing does his own voice and Ray Romano does the voice of Ray. They both had been on the show before.

Homer's recipe for the worlds best tasting cola, Homer Cola: Sugar, water, bubbles, and ?, he loses it out the car window.

Knockers is a spoof on Hooters. There is a sign that says "No Looking at our Waitresses' Enormous Breasts

When Ray says he's a roofer Homer imagines Roof Damage+Ray=Happy Marge. When Ray offers to share his pitcher of beer Homer imagines Homer+Beer=Crashed Car but he asks himself if he added that right and reimagines Homer+Beer=President Homer, his first act is to do a slam dunk.

Homer is wearing a shirt that says Knockers on Route 98

Marge is taking Bart to be circumcised, how very odd.

Homer says he bought the house for the view, it's a billboard: Krusty Flakes, It's like eating a birthday cake for Breakfast. 

Homer goes to Builder's Barn for roofing supplies. This is a spoof on Home Depot.

Calmwood Mental Hospital "We now treat March Madness"

Self Aware Joke: Ray promotes Everybody Loves Raymond, he says "catch it while you can". The last episode was on May 16th, three weeks later. 

The Heartbroke Kid

This episode premiered on May 1st 2005 immediately following the previous episode (above) and was followed by Family Guy. It ran oppose the same programs as the previous episode.

The title is based on the film The Heartbreak Kid, the 1972 version not the 2007 remake that was two years in the future. 

The couch gag is a repeat of the catapult. 

The show starts in a war zone, Skinner is a sergeant when his squad is attacked by a Swingline stapler, when one man is stapled to the ground medics charge forward with a giant stapler remover. Chalmers is a three star general who catches Skinner playing with his toy soldiers. Chalmers has come to pick the vendor who will supply the new candy and soda machines in the school. Scarf-ables has a talking vending machine which instantly makes the kids addicts. Lisa starts to complain but the machines start talking and convinces the kids to buy snacks. Bart sells his skateboard to Willie to buy snacks. When Bart says the machines feed him Marge is upset that she's been replaced. Homer imagines what robot Marge would be like but she shoots him. There is a repeat of the opening set Three Weeks Later, instead of a chalkboard gag a fat Bart is seen jamming quarters into a vending machine. After a redo of the opening credits Bart has a heart attack and Dr. Hibbert insists he goes on a strict diet. Bart is still eating junk food. Krusty comes on to talk about his heart attack. Bart tries going on a diet but is allergic to cauliflower. While Bart is trying to be healthy the family goes to the milkshake festival, free milkshakes for 10 year old boys. Bart has a hidden stash of candy behind a Krusty poster. The family holds an intervention for Bart. He tries to talk his way out of it and run away but the family sends him off to fat camp. To pay for it the family turns Bart's room into a Hostel. At fat camp they make the people scoop ice cream into the trash but Bart drills a hole in the floor and starts sucking it down. The fat camp director takes Bart to see what the rest of the family is doing to pay for it. Homer is humiliated into serving Germans and singing 99 Luftballons. Bart breaks into the school and wrecks all the vending machines, and takes all the money to help the family. Even though Bart has sworn to go on a diet they still have three weeks on their non refundable fat camp, so they send Homer. 

Albert Brooks does the voices of both Tab Spangler and Jacques the bowler. 

Vending machine applicants: Sea Captain with a gumbo machine, he burns his hand / Gil with a request jar (he says he'll run down to the store and get the kids what they want) / Lindsay Nagel is promoting Scarf-ables that offer snacks featuring Scammer and Z Dog. They also sell Hip Hopsicles.

Snacks available in the vending machines: Dalai Lamanade / Krishna Krisps / Amazonkers / Lollapalollipops / Everylasting Copkillaz / Choco-Nards / Chip-Hops / L'il Gammers / Buggin Ballz

Lisa has a megaphone Li'l Agitator. 

Yummy Yummy Yummy by Ohio Express plays during a montage of Bart scarfing snacks. 

Fat Bart Chalkboard Gag, he is buying and scarfing snacks from the vending machine, slowly leaves the school, his skateboarding is cracking the sidewalk, when he spins around the light pole he bends it over, he knocks over Helen Lovejoy, scares Apu's dog, knocks Moe through the bar window, runs over Jacque's foot, scares Wiggum who shoots the beer out of Barney's hand, runs into Marge's car causing her to spin out of control, crushes Homer's car knocking Homer down in the process, slowly waddles into the house and has a heart attack in the living room. On a note Bleeding Gums Murphy is in the original sequence but not this one, because he's dead.

When Bart has a heart attack Homer shouts at him "Do The Bartman!" The song was a hit in 1990.

Springfield General Hospital "If the surgeon leaves it in you, it's yours"

The Itchy And Scratchy Show. Kitty-Kill Condition. Dr. Itchy Feline Cardiologist. Scratchy is walking by Itchy's doctor office and goes inside. Itchy puts Scratchy on a treadmill, then angles it upwards, opens a pit of alligators behind him and then a flaming hoop starts going around. Scratchy has a heart attack so Itchy gets a bone saw and cuts him open and yanks out his heart, which runs away to hide. Itchy catches it, stuffs a stick of dynamite into hit and returns it into Scratchy, Scratchy comes to and Itchy has a picture of himself in bed with Scratchy's wife. Scratchy has another heart attack and dies. At his funeral the dynamite goes off killing his family. 

Dr. Itchy's check list, Have you ever been: Churned Into Butter / Decapitated By A Windmill / Impaled By The Space Needle / Squashed By The Moon / Printed Into Money / Tricked Into Eating Yourself / Hung By Your Own Intestines / Impaled on a Cactus / Killed In A Plane Crash With Buddy Holly. Scratchy checks yes on each blank. These are all things that happened in previous episodes.

Bart's candy stash is hidden behind a poster of Krusty that is a spoof on the Rita Hayworth poster that Andy Dufrense uses to cover up his escape tunnel in the 1994 movie The Shawshank Redemption. 

Patty and Selma's license plate MANH8TR.

Serenity Ranch: When Diet, Exercise and Surgery Aren't Enough. 

Regulars at fat camp, Kent Brockman / Apu / Wolfcastle 

When the fat camp counselor makes the clients pull his chariot its named Chubby Chaser (slang for people who are attracted to fat people)

When Marge gets the fat camp bill she says Jimminy Kimmel. This is a reference to Jimmy Kimmel who had been the host of Jimmy Kimmel Live since 2003.

Bart says he "raged against the machine and money fell out", this is a reference to the band Rage Against The Machine. 

Self aware joke: When Bart says he's not going to listen to made up corporate shills Homer says "did you hear that Foxy the Fox Network Fox?"

When Bart gives Homer and Marge the money from the machines Marge says she's going to give the Germans Das Boot. This is the name of the 1981 German drama about the U-Boat in WWII.

A Star Is Torn

This episode premiered on May 8th, 2005. The lead in show was Malcolm In The Middle and it was followed by the next The Simpsons episode. It ran opposite the regular programs.

The title comes from the films A Star Is Born (this has been used in a past Simpsons episode)

The couch gag is a repeat of the Get Smart opening.

The Simpsons go to the Kwik-E-Mart but Snake is holding up the place, Apu whispers to them to call the police but Homer needs change for the pay phone. Apu won't make change without a purchase. They decide to go to Cletus's farm stand instead, Marge makes a vegetarian dinner, the family has digestive issues, except for Lisa. The next day the family is back to eating junk food. Krusty is holding a talent contest, Krusty's Li'l Starmaker Singing Competition, the winner will be animated into an Itchy And Scratchy cartoon. At the tryouts Ralph sings half the ABC song and ends with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  Clarissa sings Mockingbird and the audience loves her, it was the song Lisa was going to sing. Homer promises to write Lisa a winning song (Homer wrote a grammy winning song in the episode Homer's Barber Shop Quartet). Milhouse sings When A Man Loves A Woman and is heckled off stage. Lisa sings a  song about Springfield that mentions most of the audience, everybody loves Lisa. Lisa's win goes to Homer's head. When the lighting guy won't give Lisa a green spotlight Homer goes and punches him. All the girls go crazy over Cameron. Homer writes a song about Snowball dying on Christmas. Clarissa gets eliminated so it's down to Lisa and Cameron. Homer goes nuts and attacks the pimple faced kid for bringing the wrong licorice, Lisa fires Homer so he becomes the manager of Cameron. Homer calls himself Captain Cool and wants Cameron to change his name to Johnny Rainbow. Lisa writes her own song and it's about Homer. Homer faked the whole thing and wrote a song about being better than the audience, everybody boos Cameron. The show ends with Homer and Lisa practicing "Jazz Hands" in the back yard.

Fantasia Barrino does the voice of Clarissa Wellington.

Cletus is selling "Organic Vittles" A spoof on the food trend of the 21st century. 

The family is eating Shakespeare's Fried Chicken.

Krusty's Li'l Starmaker's slogan is Not Affiliated With American Idol, We Never Even Heard Of American Idol. The show has been on the air since 2002.

The singing competition grand prize of being animated into an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon is a spoof on when The Simpsons held the Who Shot Mr. Burns competition with the grand prize being animated into the series. (what actually happened to the prize is still a bit of a controversy)

Springfield Mall Li'l Starmaker Auditions, Warning: We're looking for cute, not creepy. 

Lisa imagines being on Itchy And Scratchy. They are having a Musketeers style fight when she shows up on a My Little Pony unicorn and cuts off both their heads, which become impaled on the horn. She does a PSA for spaying and neutering and then throws the heads into a cauldron of acid. 

Self aware joke, Krusty says he has to do 27 seasons of DVD commentary, and doesn't remember nothing. The Simpsons were on their 16th season and now have done 35.

When Ralph fails at the singing competition Lisa says I can't believe I use to date him. This is a reference to the episode I Love Lisa

Bart says Clarissa sings like Whitney Houston brought to life. Houston would die 7 years later. 

The Toothless Elephant Piano Store. 

Buzz Cola. Brown, Fizzy, Real. They sponsor the trap door in the competition, "fall into the flavor hole"

Springfield Shopper headline: Li'l Starmaker Fever Sweeps Springfield! / 10-Year-Old Boy Disqualified. Is Actually Paul Simon / Li'l Starmaker Down To Three Finalists. 

Thank God It's Doomsday

This episode premiered on May 8th, 2005. The lead in show was the previous Simpsons episode (see above) and was followed by Family Guy. It ran opposite the regular programs.

The couch gag is the family all look like Moe. 

Marge tricks the kids to come inside for haircuts but they want to go to the mall barber. Marge refuses to drive them but just then Homer comes in and announces he's going to the mall because Cinnabon is throwing out the old stuff. Bart isn't paying attention so the barber gives him a buzz, he and Lisa gets into a razor fight and give each other a horrible cut, just as the school photo club is trying to get a picture to display in the hall for the whole year. The club chases them into the the back door of the theater but the photographers are locked out, instead they take pictures of Skinner's shirt sticking out of his zipper. The Simpsons end up in a theater watching the film Left Below, a He Is Risen production. The movie is about the rapture, it makes Homer panic but Marge calms him down with a little "snuggling". The next day Homer sees the devil but it's a guy promoting In 'N' Out Devil's Food Cake. Next it's raining blood but it is a harpooned whale that his being helicoptered to a vet. Homer goes to a Christian book store and buys everything about the rapture. Marge sews the kids wigs to wear until their real hair grows out. Homer does his Bible math and comes up with the Rapture happening at 3:15 pm 05/18, one week away. Homer goes to downtown to spread the message, wearing a sign that says The End Is Near. Homer also points out that the Bible says the stars will fall to earth. The family asks Homer to calm down so they watch TV, the Blue Angles crash through Duff blimp and all the special stars on board crash into the stadium, Homer realizes this is the final sign. The locals show up and ask Homer to save them, he tells them they have to go to the Springfield Mesa. Lisa begs Homer to end his nonsense. The countdown ends, the clouds roll in and...nothing happens. Everybody gets mad, Nelson laughs at Homer and they head back to town. CBG calls Homer Nostradumbass. Since Moe thought that the end was coming he sold his bar and gave the money to charity, so now he has to work as a sushi chef. As Homer is throwing away his rapture stuff he realizes he based his math on the 12 Apostles but forgot that Jesus was also at the Last Supper and needed to calculate by 13. He realizes that the Rapture is happening in a half hour, nobody believes him so he goes alone. Once again he thinks nothing is happening but instead he's lifted to Heaven. Los Lobos is performing in Heaven, since they were killed during the Krusty special. Homer's guide shows him channel 23, the Earth channel where he sees his family in a lake of lava after being Left Below. Homer goes to see God to ask him help with the family but God refuses so Homer starts to trash the place out. God agrees to turn back time and restore the earth. He offers to help Homer with his alcoholism but Homer just takes a couple of pamphlets on the subject, Homer asks for something secret. Homer wakes up on the mesa and thinks it was all just a bad dream. When Homer gets back he finds that Moe's has been restored, his request from God.

Baha Men do a version of Who Let The Dogs Out, Who Wants A Haircut. Los Lobos performing the closing credit song.

Da Buzz Club. You can't put a price on looking cool. Cool haircuts $30

Skinner is holding a shopping bag labeled Medium Brown Bag. This is a spoof on Bloomingdale's Little Brown Bag. 

Movie newspaper headline: America Today paper. Permissive Lifestyle On Rise, Bible Mocked. 

Left Below is a spoof on the 2000 movie Left Behind, The Movie. 

Homer says Left Below will haunt him for the rest of his life, just like Cannonball Run II. 

In 'N' Out Devil's Food Cake is a spoof on In-N-Out Burger

Gospel For Less Christian Bookstore. A spoof on Shoes For Less.

Book at the Christian Book Store: 1989, The Year Of Armageddon / Any Day Now / Rapture For Dummies / Tuesdays With Morrie In Hell / Chicken Soup For The Dammed 

Krusty The Clowns Celebrity Salute To Specials. 

Celebrities on the Duff blimp, Krusty / David Crosby / Joan Rivers / Kathy Griffith / Ron Howard (in a bathrobe of course) / Bette Middler / David Byrne / Los Lobo 

The Warren Harding Memorial Thru Hole.

Flanders comes over to check out the Rapture Party but Homer tells them it's a meeting of Gay Witches for Abortion. 

Moe's is now Tokyo Roe's Sushi Bar. This is a spoof on Tokyo Rose who use to broadcast surrender messages to American soldiers during WWII.

When Homer wakes up the family Lisa complains that they have school tomorrow, but Bart is dressed in fishing gear. 

Rotating images above Homer's bed in heaven, Van Gogh's Haystacks in Province, Rembrandt's Syndics, Farrah Fawcett's Red bathing suit poster. 

Photos in God's office, him with Einstein, Marilyn Monroe and Abe Lincoln 

Heaven time is an hour behind London. 

While trashing out Heaven Homer tells Dean Martin that he squandered his talent. 

In order to restore the earth God says Deus Ex Machina, this translates to God From The Machine and is an expression filmmaker use to describe a plot point that clears up story problems with a simple explanation.

The final shot of Homer at Moe's is a spoof on Da Vinci's Last Supper, with Homer in the Jesus position.

This episode made me laugh extra hard because a month before I watched it (I write these blogs well in advance of publishing them btw) there was all the hoopla about the Eclipse being the "Sign of the rapture", which didn't happen. One of the people who predicted it then recalculated and claimed the Rapture would happen a few months later. If you're reading this it means nothing happened, again. 

Home Away From Homer

This episode premiered on May 15th 2005. The lead in show was Malcom In The Middle and it was followed by the next Simpson episode (The Father, The Son and the Holy Guest Star). It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Survivor and The Contender.

The title comes from the expression Home Away From Home

The chalkboard gag is "A Booger Is Not A Bookmark" and the couch gag is a repeat of the giant fish. 

Lisa is listening to Verbal Tea with Amy Levine-Gonzalez on Nationwide Public Radio, the topic is Peruvian banjo music "It's just not that good". They are giving away tickets to the latest film by director Mladzieul Klernt, Kosovo Autumn,  Lisa is the only one to call in. Homer is excited to go to the movies, he wants to leave Maggie with the TV on but it's either shark week or horror movies, Marge insists on a baby sitter so he goes to Flanders to keep an eye on her. The movie is boring but Homer is stuck in his chair and can't escape. Ned collects Humble figurines, when he goes to show Maggie his full collection he discovers they are all destroyed with a note that says "My Bad -Homer". To make extra money Marge convinces Ned to rent out his extra room. "Room for rent, no pagans". Nelson and the Cat Lady both show up but are turned away. Two Christian girls show up and Ned rents them the room, it turns out that they have a web site for Sexy Slumber Party dot Com. Bart and Milhouse stumble across the channel and see Ned walk in, they start laughing at him. Homer catches the kids watching the girls but isn't mad when he finds out that Flanders doesn't know what's going on. Homer goes all over town to tell everyone. Marge catches Homer and Bart watching the web site and forces Homer to tell Ned the truth. Ned kicks the girls out and finds out that the entire town is laughing at him and becomes depressed. He decides to move to Humbleton PA where his figurines are made. The Simpson's new neighbor turns out to be a bully. Humbleton looks like a Bavarian town and all the residents look like the figurines. Ned gets a job at the Humble factory painting dimples on the figurines but has to shave off his mustache, he decides to keep it, shocking the entire town. The mayor gives Ned a "You're On Thin Ice" figurine. The new neighbor cuts down the trees and they crash through the Simpson's power lines, he also stole the gas out of Homer's car for his chainsaw. Homer shows up at Ned's new house and begs him to come back to Springfield. Ned is saying he wants to stay until the town mocks him for not putting his mail flag all the way down. Ned asks the bully to give him back the house and points out that the check bounced. The bully tries to punch Ned but is forced into submission, Homer takes advantage of the situation and hits him with a chair. Homer steals the organ from the church for Ned's welcome home party. 

Jason Bateman does his own voice.

This episode does the entire opening credit scene.

Marge sews a home sampler "Don't Leave Chicken Bones On The Floor"

Movies at the art theater Kosovo Autumn / Craving Molly, Alaska / Oppenheimer's Elevator 

The theater has the magazine Queer Focus

Humble figurines Summer Dreamin' / Mommy's Shoes / Shavin' Like Daddy (the kid has cuts all over his face) / First Allergic Reaction (the kid as a giant swollen hand) 

Ned's store The Leftorium has been slow since Left Mart came to town, this is a spoof on Walmart.

Bart is asking Ask Jeeves why he sucks. Ask Jeeves became Ask in 2006. 

When Homer catches Bart and Milhouse watching the girl's website he says tell me what you're laughing at, and if you say Jimmy Fallon I'll know you're lying. He had quit SNL in 2004 to launch his movie career but took over Late Night when Conan left and eventually wound up hosting The Tonight Show. And yes, he still isn't funny.

First Church Of Springfield. Today: Bobble-Head Moses Giveaway. 

When Marge forces Homer to tell Ned the truth he says he's thinking of starting a frozen yogurt store called Plops. Oh how I laughed at that one. 

Homer brings Ned a basket of cookies with a note "I'm Sorry Stupid Flanders"

The new neighbor uses Starving Teachers movers. Krabappal, Skinner and Mr. Ludwig are the movers. 

The new neighbor's door mat says Ring Bell For Free Ass Kicking. 

The neighbor plays The Beasty Boys Fight For Your Right (To Party) while working out. 

Humble Figurine Factory 273 days without a Boo Boo.

When Ned decides to not shave off his mustache he says "My body, my choice". That slogan has been in the news a lot these days. 

Bad Company by Bad Company plays over a montage of Ned flaunting his mustache around town. 

Celebrity Chop Shop strips Jason Bateman's Bently. 

The Humbeltonian headline: Hair Fuhrer (with a photo of Ned).

Ned listens to Tutti Frutti by Pat Boone.

Mr. Ludwig plays Freeze Frame by The J. Geils Band at Ned's welcome home party. 

A quick note on this and the next episode. Disney + has them listed in the production order but I'm watching them in the release order. This episode was produced after the next episode but that episode was rescheduled from its original release date due to the death of Pope John Paul II, I'll go into details about that when I watch it. It screwed up the season's run order and resulted in the episode Don't Fear The Roofer being episode 351 even though the opening credits called it Episode 350. So instead of watching the Disney+ order I'm watching the original run order. If you're following on Disney+ this was episode 21 of the 16th season but I'm watching it as the 20th. (both episodes ran on the same night so it wouldn't really matter but it's my game so it's my rules)

Meanwhile we've come to the end of another 5 episode. We're past the time I refer to as the Dark Years and these shows weren't that bad but I had quit watching them in prime time for a while now. Mostly I caught them in reruns and even then it was in bits and pieces. Some of these episode I remember, some I remember the plot and others are ones that were on in the background and I wasn't really paying attention. Well, one more episode and I'll be done with the 16th season. And I will admit, I liked the next episode.