The Simpsons 221-225

Simpsons Bible Stories

This episode premiered on April 4th 1999. The lead in show was The World's Funniest! and it was followed by Futurama. It ran opposite ABC Big Picture Show (The Little Rascals), Touched By An Angel and NBA Basketball (Houston 84-Seattle 101)

The chalkboard gag is "I cannot absolve sins" and the couch gag is the family runs into the living room but the floor is covered with bananas, they all slip but end up falling on the couch. 

The Simpsons are at church on Easter but it's extra hot. Homer slips a chocolate rabbit in the collection plate so Lovejoy goes on a long Bible reading. He also shuts off the fans so he can be better heard. To mark the passage of time we see the rabbit melting. 

Part 1

Marge dreams that her and Homer are Adam and Eve. Ned is God. Snake shows up as, well, the snake, and tempts them to eat the apple, Adam scarfs it down and then convinces Eve to do the same. Eve gets caught and kicked out, Adam plans to sneak her back in via a hole a unicorn digs, it then drops dead. God comes back and kicks them both out. Marge wakes up to Lovejoy blathering on.

Eve asks God for some magazines so he gives her copies of People, Adam and Eve are on the cover since they are the only people.

Part 2

Lisa dreams she's in Egypt working on the pyramids. Bart wrote King Butt on Skinner's sarcophagus but is ratted out by the burning bush. Bart is put to work scrubbing the outhouses. To free the slaves Lisa comes up with a series of plagues starting with dumping frogs on Skinner, but he eats them and thinks it's a gift from Ra. To punish them Wiggum throws Lisa and Milhouse into the pyramid. While looking for the secret passage Milhouse pushes a button and the spiked walls start closing in on them, but get stuck because they were built by slave labor, the kids climb up the spikes to the top of the pyramid and announce the people are fleeing to freedom. In order to cross the Red Sea the kids all flush the Egyptian toilets at the same time. When the Pharaoh follows them it refills. Lisa tells Milhouse the Jews have 40 years of wandering the desert, he says "but after that it's clear sailing for the Jews, right?". 

Wille is the slave driver, Skinner is the Pharaoh, Wiggum is his bodyguard, Milhouse is Moses. Mrs. Krabappal is Mrs. Krabapatra.

Wiggum throws Lisa and Milhouse into the pyramid he says "give my regards to the British Museum". This is a spoof on the long standing controversy of the British having looted the ancient world and taken the artifacts back with them. 

The Sphere of Isis is in the Pharaoh's tomb. It was seen in the episode Lost Our Lisa. 

Bart chisels hieroglyphics as punishment. Eye / Well / Knot / D + Face (I will not deface), when Milhouse blows the rams horn Bart runs out like in the opening chalkboard gag. There is also a drawing of Horus in place of the clock.

This segment was based on the 1956 movie The 10 Commandments. Wiggum, who's voice sounds like Edward G. Robinson is animated like his character from the movie. 

Part 3

Homer imagines himself as King Solomon. Lenny and Carl have a dispute over a pie so Homer rules that it should be cut in two, he then eats the pie and condemns Lenny and Carl to death. The story then turns into The People's Court with Jesus Christ vs. Checker Chariot. Homer is waken by Bart because he's sitting on his arm.

Part 4

Bart dreams that he is King David. Krusty is the court jester doing biblical jokes. Grandpa comes in and dies, he was killed by Goliath II, Stone Cold "This time it's Biblical." When they face off David forgot his rock, he tries cutting Goliath's hair but finds out that only works on Samson. David gets tossed out of the city so Ralph the shepherd goes to confront the giant, and gets killed. There is a montage of David getting ready for the next fight using sheep. David keeps trying to get into the tower using grappling hooks but hooks guards by mistake. Goliath eats a whale and tosses out the bones, which contain Jonah's skeleton. Goliath also eats a large ear of corn and David uses the holders to climb the wall (a spoof on the 1982 movie Conan The Barbarian when they climb into the Snake Tower). Goliath plans on eating David but he throws an oil lamp down the giant's throat and blows him up. However Goliath isn't really dead, just then Ralph shows up (he wasn't really dead either) and kills Goliath with his headstone. The people are angry because Goliath was actually a great king and arrest David.

Bart is King David, Nelson is Goliath. 

SLH talks to Bart in a spoof of the 1960's TV show Davey and Goliath. 

Jerusalem 970 BC / Tower of Babel -- 9:35 PM

Ralph's headstone: Ralph 975 BC - 970 BC. Is Ralph only 5? I thought he was 8 like Lisa. Perhaps this is just in Bart's dream. 

When Bart arm wrestles the sheep The Winner Takes It All by Sammy Hagar plays, this is a spoof on the 1987 movie Over The Top.

When Wiggum arrests Bart for Megacide he says "Where's your messiah now?" This is a quote by Edward G. Robinson from The Ten Commandments. 

The episode ends with a Belisarius Productions detective show music and the words A Bart Simpson Dream

The Simpsons wake up to find everyone is gone, however it turn out to be the Rapture complete with the four horsemen. The Flanders ascend to heaven, when Lisa starts to go up Homer pulls her back down. Homer runs into Hell because he smells bbq however they are all out of hot dogs, the coleslaw has pineapple in it and it's German potato salad. 

Highway to Hell by AC/DC plays over the closing credits.

First Church Of Springfield, Today's Topic: Christ dyed eggs for your sins.

Mom And Pop Art

This episode premiered on April 11th 1999. The lead in show was The World's Funniest and it was followed by Family Guy. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Harriet The Spy), 60 Minutes and Dateline NBC

The title comes from the 1960's Pop Art movement.

The chalkboard gag is "A trained ape could not teach gym" and the couch gag is a repeat of the Dr. Strangelove bomb.

Marge tells Homer to take care of some of the jobs he's been putting off around the house so he heads to the mega hardware store. He sees a video on how to build your own outdoor bbq pit and buys the kit. He accidentally dumps everything into the concrete pad and freaks out creating a giant mess which he then attacks with a crowbar. He tries to return the mess but the store won't take it back, he tries to dump it into the Toys For Tots box he gets caught by Wiggum, the mob throws a "beanie baby" in. As Homer is towing it home his bumper falls off and it crashes into a fancy car. The owner of the car shows up and instead of getting mad at Homer she wants to display his bbq mess as a sculpture in her gallery. At the gallery is a piece of cave art, with a caveman artist. Jasper Johns is at the gallery stealing food and lightbulbs. Burns buys Homer's sculpture. To inspire Homer's anger art Bart says he's attracted to Milhouse. Marge is jealous of Homer becoming an artist. When they reveal Homer's new art everyone hates it. Homer falls asleep in the museum and the artwork invades his dream and attacks him. Lisa tells Homer about Christo so he comes up with a plan. Inspired by the painting Venice: The Dogana and San Giorgio Maggiore by Joseph Turner, Homer steals all the doormats and throws them in the storm drains, then he puts snorkels on the zoo animals opens all the fire hydrants flooding the town. Everyone loves it, Marge paints the scene but Jasper Johns steals it. Arrivederci Roma by Michale Dees plays over the closing credits. 

Isabella Rossellini does the voice of the gallery owner Astrid Weller.  Jasper Johns does his own voice. 

Homer sings Put The Lime In The Coconut by Harry Nilsson but he swaps out "beer" for "lime". Ned pops over the fence saying "Homer" where "Doctor" would go.

Homer's garage paint job. One corner with a note that says Star Here Tomorrow 7/7/95. That was four years ago in this episode's timeline and 28 years ago now.

Mom And Pop Hardware, A Subsidiary of Global Dynamics Inc.

The video at the hardware store is Doug Vacccaro, "you know me as Chip, the wise cracking assistant on Toolin' Around". This is a spoof of Richard Karn who played Al on the TV series Home Improvement. It's also a tribute Troy McClure (Phil Hartman)

When the gallery owner shows up at the Simpson's house Homer pulls a shotgun out from behind the wall hanging toilet box. This is a spoof on the hidden gun in The Godfather. He dumps it in Maggie's crib

Homer's license plate is 3FJP24 and he has a Single -N- Sassy bumper sticker.

In high school Homer was voted to most likely be a hillbilly, mental patient or chimpanzee.

The name of the gallery is Louvre: American Style (a spoof on the 1970's tv show Love American Style) The banner out front: Inside: Outside Art / Solo Show: Homer's Odyssey. (this joke is self explanatory) / No Shirt, No Shoes, No Chardonnay. 

Barney's girlfriend Yoko Ono is at the gallery.

To pay for a drink Moe lets Homer use a drawing, Barney draws A Sunday Afternoon On The Island Of Lagrange Jatte by Seurat but Moe won't accept it. 

Homer reads Art In America. the magazine has been published since 1913.

Homer says Ray Jay Johnson is as popular as ever. He was on the episode The Gabbo Show.

When Marge takes Homer to the museum they have a drawing of Akbar and Jeff from Matt Groening's comic strip Life In Hell.

Self aware joke, Homer says Groening can barely draw, a pencil come down and starts to erase him. It turns out to be a Clause Oldenberg statue that gallery workers are installing. 

During the flood the oatmeal factory explodes and then flood the hospital,  the people in the burn ward give a sigh of relief.

Best line of the episode "Everything's coming up Milhouse". If you know, you know.

There is a lot of background art in this episode but I'm not going to list it all.

The Old Man And The "C" Student

This episode premiered on April 25th 1999. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W. W.O. Disney (Eddie), Touched By An Angel and Dateline NBC.

The title of this episode comes from the novel The Old Man And The Sea (this is the second time they've used it, the first was The Old Man And The Lisa)

The chalkboard gag is "Loose teeth don't need my help" and the couch gag is a repeat of the crowd in the living room.

The Olympic Committee gets into an argument about where to hold the summer games, they read a letter from Lisa and the head of the committee decides to choose Springfield. The town is holding a mascot contest so Homer tries to create one, he puts the cat in paper mache, his second idea is Springy the Springfield Spring, it's picked to be the official mascot. Everyone pitches in to clean up the town, they change the name of the strip club from Lap Dancing to Lapland Dancing, Wiggum forces the rats to all leave. The fire department puts out the tire fire. Burns pretends that he runs a solar power plant. The kids put on a song about the future so the committee is ready to announce Springfield the host of the games until Bart does his ethnic comedy and insults them all, they leave the city and on the way out of town the Russian flicks a cigarette out the window and sets the tires back on fire. As punishment all the kids are assigned 20 hours of community service. Martin is assigned to set up a basketball program for inner city youth, they take a shot at him. Milhouse is assigned to pick up medical waste on the beach. Bart thinks he'll be working at the Fireworks, Candy and Puppy Dog store but instead he ends up at the senior home. Lisa is hosting the Bingo and with every number Jasper shouts "you sank my battle ship". The prize is a banana, Bart objects. Next the nurse announces it's nap time, when the staff takes the opportunity to vacuum the seniors. Homer ordered a thousand springs even though they cancelled the olympics, he tries to sell them door to door. He tries to make a self flipping hamburger pan but sets the kitchen on fire. He also raps Maggie with springs. Eventually he flushes them down the toilet. Bart kidnaps the seniors and takes them on a boat trip. Burns's yacht runs into the boat and it starts to sink. Jack LaLanne shows up and starts pulling the boat to shore with his teeth, only splitting the boat into three parts. Instead of sinking the boat keeps running into the springs Homer flushed. Bart promises to drop by the nursing home the next day. The Beatles "Can't Buy Me Love" plays over the closing credits.

Jack LaLanne does his voice in this episode. This was also a reference to his annual pulling boats to celebrate his birthday. For his 70th he pulled 70 boats through Long Beach Harbor. 

International Olympic Committee: Now with Myanmar! In 1989 Burma changed its name to Myanmar.

Former Olympic mascots, The Atlanta Whatzit and the Montreal Vampire. 

The actual 2000 Summer Olympics were held in Sydney Australia

Springfield Shopper headline: Town Prepares For Olympics, Pickpockets Call Up Reserves.

Springfield Tire Fire: Est. 1989 (This is a continuity error because in the episode Flaming Moe's Kent Brockman reported that the fire had been burning since 1966)

Chief from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest shows up at the senior's home to drop off casino pamphlets, then throws the water fountain through the window and takes off.

When the seniors are running around outside Can't Buy Me Love by the Beatles plays and they do a spoof on A Hard Day's Night.

Boat Cruise $5 Not Responsible For Lost Lunches

On the boat Bart says "Full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes". This is a quote from Admiral Farragut.

Smithers is drawing Burns in a spoof from Titanic.

Burns' boat name, Gone Fission II

The closing credits do a spoof on the Beatles Hard Day's Night album cover, Homer, Marge Lisa and Bart are in the place of the Beatles and the title is The Simpsons A Bart Day's Night.

NRBQ performs all the Beatles songs.

Monty Can't Buy Me Love

This episode premiered on May 2nd, 1999. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the regular programs. The Disney movie was Phenomenon

The title comes from the Beatles song Money Can't Buy Me Love, which was featured in the last episode. 

The chalkboard gag is "I have neither been there nor done that" and the couch gag is a repeat of the circus background.

The family is laying around the house, Marge complains that they need to go for a walk. When they refuse  Marge offers to read her poem she wrote about a duck, cut to them walking down the street. The family comes across a megastore grand opening, Marge doesn't want to go since it's not on their route but the family takes off without her. The store has a Shoplifting Department. Bart puts a penny on the track of the kids train and causes it to derail. Burns gets stuck in front of the store so he deploys the cow catcher on his car but gets stuck in Comic Book Guy. He goes inside the mega store as they announce the most popular billionaire but it's Arthur Fortune, everyone loves him and Burns gets jealous. Burns recruits Homer to help him become beloved, Homer convinces him to toss silver dollars onto the people but they all flee, Lenny gets one stuck in his forehead. Homer suggest donating money to charity so Burns sends him off to the hospital with a check. The next day Burns goes to the hospital and finds they named a wing after Homer and put up a statue of him in the lobby. Lisa suggests going on the radio, Burns wants to go on Don McNeill but Bart tells him he has to go on Jerry Rude and the Bathroom Bunch, Burns collapses while being mocked with fart sounds. When Homer tells Burns that Fortune donated two pandas to the zoo he sets off to Scotland to capture the Loch Ness Monster. Homer goes in the loch with a diving suit but winds up in the pub where he's playing pinball. Burns decides the only way to capture the monster is to drain the lake, he floods the town in the process. They find the monster but it turns out to be the homecoming float, then the actual monster shows up. Burns manages to capture the monster, off screen of course. Back at Springfield Burns is met at the dock to reveal the monster. Burns warns the crowd that they are enraging the beast but it loves the attention, however the flash bulbs cause Burns to lose his balance he knocks over the lights and sets the docks on fire. Homer tells Burns that it's easier to be hated than loved so he decides to go back to his old ways. Burns makes the monster the greeter at a casino. The show ends with a bagpipe versions of the theme song. 

The family is watching Cash In Your Legacy, a spoof on The Antique Roadshow. Simpsons regulars, Herman with a German WWI helmet, Dr. Hibbert with a vase, Miss Hoover with a stack of books, Comic Book Guy with a copy of Sad Sack comics, Krusty with a menorah (scratching himself with it), Apu with a statue of Ganesha, Skinner with a musket. Moe has an antique beer tap but it has no value since Homer carved Homer Rocks into the handle.

Sad Sack comics ran from 1942 until 1982. 

The button shop is called Dick's Buttons (this is a spoof on Dick Button, olympic skater)

Lisa watches The Postman with commentary, it turns out to be Kevin Costner apologizing in real life. 

Arthur Fortune is a spin on Richard Branson.

Small detail, Burns has a console TV and the dial is on channel 6 as he watches Kent Brockman.

Line of the episode Burns "I need your help, I want to be loved" Homer "Well, I'll need some beer"

Burns reads Billionaire Beat, a spoof on Teen Beat, he complains that he's less popular than Adam Sandler, and that's pretty bad even in 1999. 

Don McNeill's Breakfast Club ran from 1933 to 1968.

Jerry Rude is a spin on Howard Stern.

The homecoming Nessie float is a spoof on the 1975 underwater photos which claimed to be absolute proof of the monster, but then turned out to be a sunken prop from a 1968 movie. 

Burns on the Springfield dock with the reporters is a spoof on King Kong. 

Burns goes to the Vegas Town Casino in Las Vegas. This was probably going to be The Burns Casino in Springfield but then they remember that they exploded it in the episode Viva Ned Flanders.

This was a Drop The Cow episode. They went through all the trouble to capture the Lock Ness Monster but then didn't know where to go with it so they wound up in Vegas, for unknown reasons and discuss shrimp cocktails. No resolutions or real endings will become a bigger problem in the future. 

They Saved Lisa's Brain

This episode premiered on May 9th 1999. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the regular programs. The Disney movie was Flubber.

The title of this episode comes from the 1968 movie They Saved Hitler's Brain. (Madman of Mandoras)

The chalkboard and couch gags are repeats,

Grandma Plopwell's Pudding his hosting a contest to win a trip to Hawaii, the grossest person in Springfield will go to Maui. When the people get to the contest they find out the trip is to Hartford Connecticut. Bart swallows anything people throw at him. Barney drinks six beers at once but his real act is jugging chickens. Homer wears a suit of popcorn and is attacked by the chickens. (Lisa complains). Moe shows up wearing a kid's sailor suit. Kirk wears a diaper, Lenny comes as a urinal, Apu is in a cow suit (a spoof on Hindus and cows), Burns and Smithers as a horse, Smithers in the rear of course. Rainer Wolfcastle declares himself the winner and starts a riot. A mobile Van Gogh exhibit gets shoved over and set on fire. Lisa writes a letter to the editor complaining, of course. Homer steals the second place prize, a free boudoir photograph, he has to look it up in the dictionary. Lisa goes around and bugs everyone about reading her letter in the paper. Lovejoy comes by with his Book Burning Mobile. Someone throws a paper airplane through Lisa's window, it's a note saying to come to a meeting of a secret society, naturally she goes. Lisa gets accepted into Mensa and is finally happy. While the photographer is at the house Bart shows up but Homer won't let him in the room, so he sneaks out and peaks in the window, and brings Milhouse. The Mensa members go to the park to do their Renaissance cosplay but drunks have taken over the gazebo they rented, when they ask Wiggum to help he goes for a beer. The group goest to city hall to talk to Quimby but he flees so they take over. The smart people convert Springfield to Metric Time. They start fighting over the ideas they want to implement. Homer's erotic photos inspire Marge to redecorate the basement. The nerds announce they are banning sports, future breeding will be based on the Vulcans 7 year cycle and introducing broccoli juice. The nerds start fighting over who is in charge until Stephen Hawking shows up. He points out that they are corrupted by power. A riot breaks out. Homer takes Hawking to Moe's to discuss his donut shaped universe theory.

The family is watching Ethnic Mismatched Comedy #644. It's a spoof on both the odd couple and the hot wife/fat husband sitcoms that were popular. 

Grandma Plopwell's Pudding (poop joke)

The gross out contest judges are Krusty, Madeline Albright and Rainer Wolfcastle. 

Springfield Shopper editorial headline: Pudding Spree Not Enjoyed By All

The Mensa society meets at 13 Euclid Street. Euclid was a Greek mathematician and the father of Geometry. 

Mensa Members: Dr. Hibbert, Skinner, Frink, Comic Book Guy, Lindsey Naegle. 

The boudoir photographer is based on Annie Leibovitz, famed Rolling Stones photographer.

Large sign on the van, Boudoir Photography Discretion Guaranteed. (get it?)

Mensa changes the jury duty notices to "You have been chosen to join the Justice Squadron, 8 AM at the Municipal Fortress of Vengeance." I know that would work in my town.

One of Homer's erotic photos is him wrapped in a hose. This is a spoof on the classic photo of Natassja Kinski with a snake draped over her.

In the mid 90's I came up with an idea for a Metric clock, 20 hours, 100 minutes per hour, 100 seconds per minute. However it was one of those things I never followed up on and when the joke ran on The Simpsons I realized people would think I was just copying it so I never did it. (I realize other people probably came up with the same idea but it was pre internet so nobody bragged about it)

Yea, we've reached episode 225. I figure I would have quit some time in the hundreds but I'm still going. I wonder what adventures await me in the next five episodes?