The Simpsons 271-275

The Parent Rap

This episode premiered on November 11th 2001. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by Malcolm In The Middle. It ran opposite The ABC Sunday Night Movie (Saving Private Ryan), The Education Of Max Bickford and Weakest Link.

The title of this episode came from the 1961 and 1998 Disney movies The Parent Trap.

The chalkboard gag is "Nobody reads these anymore" and the couch gag is the family is on the boat in the painting that hangs on the living room wall, they jump in the water and come out on the couch, dripping wet and the whole room has been splashed.

While driving Homer and Milhouse to school Homer sees the KBBL Party Wagon and decides to chase them down to win $40, so he kicks the kids out of the car and takes off. Wiggum is hanging out at the Lard Lad donut shop and the boys start playing in his patrol car, they use the PA to make Ned drop his pants via a hula. They get attacked by the police dog and accidentally put the car into neutral and start rolling. They just miss hitting a truck with a giant soup tureen and steer into a picnic for Promising Young Athletes crashing through the trophy table and into a tree. They wind up in court and judge Snider lets Milhouse go since he looks like a nerd. When Bart steps up to the bench the judge is just about to let him off but his vacation starts and a new judge, Constance Harm, takes over. Homer confesses that he dumped the kids out to chase the radio station van, he won $40 and a Deep Purple medallion, so the judge orders him to be tethered to Bart. Homer has to go to school with Bart and points out that the kids will never use the stuff Mrs. Krabappal is teaching and then falls asleep on the floor. At baseball Bart hits a line drive and manages to drag Homer around the bases for a home run. Since Homer has to spend the days in school he winds up on the night shift so Bart has to go with him. Homer wants to go to Moe's but Bart has to stand outside. Homer and Marge want to "snuggle" but can't since Bart is in the room, Homer and Bart start making each other slap themselves by pulling on the cord, Homer tries to strangle Bart with the tether and then Bart whips him. Marge has had enough so she cuts the tether but the judge has a camera in the rope and they get caught. Harm demands that Marge say she's a bad parent in court but she refuses and tells off the judge. She sentences Homer and Marge to wear stockades and they are then forced to stand on a corner while people driving by whip them. Marge continues to refuse to tell the judge she's a bad parent so Homer cuts them out of the stocks. Homer plans to get revenge on the judge and head to where she lives, on a houseboat. They hang a banner that says Big Meanie but a barking seal jumps out of the water and the judge comes out to find out what is going on. Homer throws a cinder block at her but punctures the hull and the boat sinks. Just as the judge is about to toss Homer and Marge in jail Bart comes forward to say what a horrible child he is and how they have stood by him. The judge decides to sentence Bart to 5 years in juvenile hall but Snider comes back and lets Bart go. Marge makes the family pledge to not break the law for one full year, just as Homer runs over Moleman. Don't Fear The Reaper by Deep Purple plays over the closing credits. 

Jane Kaczmarek does the voices of Judge Harm. At the time she was also staring as Lois on Malcom In The Middle. 

The true irony of the chalkboard gag is that on Disney + you can skip the intro.

Homer sings Wedding Bell Blues by The Fifth Dimension, while Bart and Milhouse plugs their ears. The DJs at KBBL mispronounce it as Weddings Are Nice (Homer also sings the same lyrics wrong). The radio station plays a clip of Charlton Heston saying "You damn dirty ape" from the 1968 movie Planet Of The Apes. (This could have been a salute to Phil Hartman if they had used a Troy McClure soundbite from Stop The Planet Of The Apes I Want To Get Off, from the episode A Fish Called Selma)

When Homer kicks Bart and Milhouse out of the car they almost get ran over by Professor Frink on his Hoverbike. It was first seen in the episode Lemon Of Troy.

Wiggum's patrol car has a Miranda Rights Teleprompter "You have the right to remain silent (punch in the belly)"

Lisa makes a comment about unusual judgements and uses their new mailman, Bill Clinton, as an example. Cut to him trying to jam magazines into the mail box. 

Mrs. Krabappal tries to teach about Predicates. To be honest, I have no idea what they are.

Dated Joke: When Homer drags Bart to the bar Moe tells him "no kids", Homer asks why and Moe comments "ever since those Bush twins were here...." This joke is a reference to the 2001 incident when Jenna and Barbra (19 at the time) were caught buying alcohol with a fake ID in Texas.

While sneaking to the judge's house Homer sees the milkman and say's he should become one. This is a reference to all the jobs he's had in the past. It's also a dated joke since home delivery by milkmen was a past thing in 2001

Springfield Shopper headline: Pair sinks Judge's House, Quilt Ruined. The Shopper is still 50¢ but $1.75 on Sunday. They are part of the Springfield News Group Etc. Inc.  Also they have a website springfieldshopper.com. The domain name is for sale for any true Simpsons fans.

At the end Homer listens to Dang Me by Roger Miller.

Homer To The Moe

This episode premiered on November 18th 2001. The lead in was the NFL Postgame show and it was followed by Malcom In The Middle. It ran opposite The Facts Of Life Reunion, The Education Of Max Bickford and Weakest Link. 

The chalkboard gag is "A burp in a jar is not a science experiment" and the couch gag is a repeat of the football fumble.

Bart is digging a hole in the back yard, everyone wonders why, they even bring in Dr. Bob Kaufman and the Chinese are spying on him. It turns out the entire story was made up by Homer at Moe's bar. Moe is upset that he's lost his passion for bartending and considers going back to bartending school, but he has to pick his replacement, Homer wins the pissing contest and is left in charge. Bart calls the bar to do a prank but Homer doesn't get it, Bart hangs up in frustration. One day when Homer gets to the bar he finds out that Moe is back and he's redoing the place but he's disappointed that he is no longer a bartender. The gang shows up at the bar to find it's been turned into a new trendy place, the designer unscrews the lightbulb over them so they are in the dark. Homer yells at Moe so he gets bounced. Homer goes home and turns the garage into a bar. Moe soon starts to hate his new bar and is visited by the ghost of his old mentor. Moe decides to go back to the way things were but is upset to discover that not only is Homer running a bar out of his garage but he got REM to perform. When Moe says he can't serve alcohol without a permit Homer says that they are exempt since it's a Gun Club. Michael Stipe gets upset at performing at a gun club. Moe points out that in order to claim they are a hunting club they have to actually go hunt, Lisa complains. Homer tries to hunt a turkey but Moe scares it off with a cougar call, Homer hears it and shoots Moe. Moe restores the bar and everyone makes up, just in time for Thanksgiving, including a tofu turkey. 

REM does their own voices and sings their own songs in this episode.

Moe's Alma Mater, Swigmore College is a play on the name of Skidmore College. 

Moe's former Professor at Swigmore College is based on professor Charles W. Kingsfield Jr. (played by John Houseman) from the 1973 movie The Paper Chase.

The professor walking into the lake is a parody of the 1954 version of A Star Is Born where Norman Maine (James Mason) realizes what he's done to his life and the people around him and walks into the ocean. 

Badly dated reference. Lisa says if Bart keeps digging he'll go through to China, Chinese style music plays and a satellite that looks like a classic Chines temple is seen spying on Bart.

Barney is at the bar but he's just drinking coffee, he's been sober since the episode Days Of Wine and D'oh'ses

Everyone line dances on the bar in a parody of the 2000 movie Coyote Ugly. They are dancing to the 1965 song Wooly Bully, originally by Sam The Sham and the Pharaohs but the needle skips and starts playing the 1970 song Color My World by Chicago so they start slow dancing with each other. When the record starts skipping Homer says you have to hit it like Fonzie but breaks the glass and cuts himself. This is the point of the best line in the episode "Hemorrhageamundo, heeeey" as he passes out.

Bart's prank call "Ollie Tabooger" is the first one he's made since the 1992 episode New Kid On The Block. Homer made the last prank call in the 1996 episode Bart On The Road, and got the joke wrong.

Moe based his career on the 1987 movie Ironweed.

The M on Moe's new bar is the M from M&M's.

Moe meets a Russian model who tells him that after Chernobyl "her" penis is falling off. Chernobyl was the 1986 nuclear meltdown in Russia.

Homer and the gang sing I Won't Drink At Moe's to the tune of I Love Rock And Roll, made famous by the Joan Jett and the Blackhearts versions. 

Homer has a The Devil's Advocate pinball machine in his bar. It was first seen in the episode Insane Clown Poppy.

A Hunks Hunka Burns In Love

This episode premiered on December 2nd, 2001. The lead in show was the NFL Post Game Show and it was followed by Malcolm In The Middle. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Brian's Song), Max Bickford and The NBC Movie Of The Week (The Prince Of Egypt)

The title of this episode is based on the 1972 Elvis song Burning Love.

The chalkboard gag is "Fun Does Not Have A Size" and the couch gag is a repeat of the prison escape.

The family goes to dinner at a Chinese restaurant but are disappointed by the fortunes in the cookies. The owner challenges Homer to come up with new fortunes so he goes to the back and tells the writers some ideas. Mr. Burns orders Chinese deliveries and his fortune says he'll find true love on Flag Day, since it's June 14th he rushes out to find a woman. They go to a strip club, Smithers gets stuck in a corner by two dancers (another joke about his sexuality). Burns discovers a meter maid ticketing his car but falls in love with her. Gloria doesn't want a second date until Homer comes by and tells her all the things Burns has done from capturing the Loch Ness monster to blocking the sun. To keep up Burns injects a ED supplement. When Homer does the same he ends up running home to Marge. After they "snuggle" Marge worries that the kids might have heard them, cut to the shocked children and Flanders. When Burns comes to work in a good mood Carl tries to ask for a raise but gets fired. Burns decides to ask Gloria to marry him and hides a diamond ring in a bowling ball, just as he's celebrating Snake shows up to rob the place and Gloria is his old girlfriend. He drags her and Homer off while Burns is getting champaign. Snake forces Homer to drive, Homer tries to get out at his house but Snake forces him to drive to the hideout in Hicktown. The police surround Snake's hideout but Wiggum tells Kent Brockman that he has an officer sneaking around the back of the house, Snake sees it on TV and shoots the cop. Homer tries to burn his way through the ropes but ends up setting the house on fire, Gloria gets trapped inside so Burns rushes in to save her but she ends up carrying him out. However in the end she goes back with Snake. Burns complains that he's more evil than Snake and he and the family get into a discussion about beard types. 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus does the voice of Gloria and George Takei does the voice of the waiter.

The Woody Allen character is one of the fortune cookie writers, he first appeared in the episode The City Of New York vs Homer Simpsons

The chalkboard gag is based on the Fun Size candy bars and the expression "tons of fun".

Joke that didn't age well. The Simpsons go to Chinatown and pass a store that is called Toys "L" Us. There's also Tibet Town which is just a bunch of people in prison jump suits, behind a locked gate and getting beat up by the Chinese. 

The family eats at Bob's Big Buddha, a spoof on Bobs Big Boy burgers. 

Mr. Burns complains that Mr. Pennybags (from Monopoly) and Scrooge McDuck have taken all the best women. 

Burns takes Gloria to Stu's Disco. It first appeared in the episode Dumbbell Indemnity. Burns dances like one of the kids in A Charlie Brown Christmas.

When Burns and Gloria are eating spaghetti it's a spoof on the scene from Lady And The Tramp

Barney's Bowlarama still has the sign that say's New. The original alley burned down in the episode Moaning Lisa.

Video games at the bowling alley, Nuke Canada, Pong 95, Time Waster. 

Snake's mailbox: Snake, AKA Jailbird.

Dated reference, when Burns is talking about growing an evil beard Bart asks him if he means a Soul Patch. They were popular back in the day.

The Blunder Years

This episode premiered on December 9th 2001. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by Malcolm In The Middle. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Santa Who?), 60 Minutes and National Geographic. 

The title comes from the 1988 TV series The Wonder Years

The chalkboard gag is "I am not Charlie Brown on acid" and the couch gag is a repeat of the Matrix mid air freeze and spin, otherwise known as Bullet Time.

Marge accidentally buys Burly paper towels and has the hots for the mascot. She calls Lisa at school and has her come home to see how well they work. Homer gets jealous so he tries fantasizing about food mascots, Mama Celeste threatens to cut him if he touches her and Paul Newman says what he said to Robert Redford, "it ain't going to happen". Marge writes a letter to Burly so Homer gets Barney to show up as "Chad Sexington" to mock her. When Marge gets upset Homer takes the family to the Pimento Grove where they see Mesmerino the Hip Hypnotist. Homer volunteers for the show however when the hypnotist makes him revert to 12 years old and he has a repressed memory to something horrible and starts screaming out of control. Lisa suggests using Yaqui tea to unlock his memories, Marge is happy because she finally gets to use her tea set. Homer has flashbacks to previous episodes like Bart The Daredevil. He remembers summer days with Carl, Lenny and Moe. Moe tells the next part where the kids go swimming at the old quarry but the place is out of water. It's at this point Homer remembers the clogged pipe leading into the quarry and how a body fell out. Lisa figures the body is probably still at the bottom of the quarry and Bart says it's a mystery only The Simpsons family can solve. Moe is upset that he's not included in the rest of the adventure. The family runs into Wiggum and he helps them search the quarry, Marge uses her Burly towels to drain the quarry, they find the skeleton and see someone heading down the drain pipe. They follow it to a hatch that leads to Burns's office. Burns confesses that the dead body was Waylon Smither's father, he has a film to tell the rest of the story. The security footage shows Smither's sr. going into the reactor core to prevent a meltdown but dying in the process. Burns dumped the body but Smithers showed up just then and found out how his father passed away. Homer keeps dead Smithers skull. Moe shows up with clues to "solve the mystery" even though they know how things turned out, he explains his clues over the closing credits.

Paul Newman does his own voice and Judith Owen (wife of cast regular Harry Shearer) sings during the night club scene.

Burly paper towels are a spoof on Brawny including their commercial about how absorbent they are.

Dated reference, Marge types and mails a letter to Burly paper towels asking about the mascot.

The hypnotist appeared on Mike Douglas (1961-1981), Merv Griffin (1962-1972) and Art Linkletter's House Party (1945-1969)

The hypnotist turns Professor Frink into a make-out artist. This is a spoof on the 1966 Jerry Lewis movie The Nutty Professor.

Self Aware Joke, Marge is ironing Bart's clothes, a stack of red shirts and blue pants, the only thing he wears. 

The childhood memory is a spoof on the 1986 movie Stand By Me. 

Moe drinks the tea and says "mmmm, that's good Yaqui". This is a spoof on a Jackie Gleason catchphrase and when Johnny Carson would do it on The Tonight Show, Mesmerino also does the Johnny Carson Carnac the Great bit from The Tonight Show.

A young Carl talks about the internet, the Inner Netting in swim trunks. 

Continuity Error, the gang remembers when they were 12 and the nuclear plant had just opened but in the episode The Way We Was Homer picks up a brochure on jobs at the newly opened nuclear plant, which would have been 6 years later.

When the kids go to the quarry for a swim this is a spoof on the1979 movie Breaking Away.

She Of Little Faith

This episode premiered on December 16th 2001. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite A Charlie Brown Christmas, Touched By An Angel and the NBC Movie Of The Week (Antz)

The title of this episode comes from Matthew 8:26, " Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?" 

The chalkboard gag is "I do not have a cereal named after me" and the couch gag is the couch is a slot machine, Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa come up. Instead of Maggie the last dial is a flaming 7, "Jackpot" appears on the top and a pile of coins fall out the bottom.

While watching the rain delay movie Bart sees a commercial for The Orbit King rocket kit "with yaw control", he calls and gives them Homer's credit card number. When Homer hits the launch button it blows up and Milhouse's eyebrows end up as Bart's sideburns. (Milhouse is the only character with eyebrows btw). After the second explosion Ned launches his own rocket which takes off and lands perfectly. To compete Homer gets the nerd crowd to show up and build a better rocket. They put a hamster into the rocket, complete with a miniature elevator. The rocket loses control, Homer radios the hamster but he pushes the eject button. The rocket hits the church and sets it on fire. To fix the damage Mr. Burns shows up and offers to fund a new church, as long as he gets to run it. The new church has a number of corporate advertisements and a literal money changer in the lobby. Bart poses for a Last Supper photo, a 4X9 print for $9.99. The new pews are vibrating recliners. Lisa is on the Godcam and when she frowns it says "Pouting Thomas", everyone laughs. The Noid (Dominos mascot) gives a sermon on deliciousness. The church has a box seat, the Yahoo Texan is sitting in it. Lisa objects to the new church and tells everyone off  and seeks to find a new religion. She winds up at the Springfield Buddhist Temple where she meets Richard Gere and he teaches her about Buddhism. Lenny and Carl are there but their prayer chant is "Who wears short shorts". Lisa plants a bodhi tree in the back yard. The church plans on using Christmas to convert Lisa back to Christianity by leaving her out of the celebration, they buy her a pony however she runs away to the temple, and the pony turns out to be Ralph and Milhouse in disguise. Gere tells her that Buddhists celebrate Christmas. The episode ends with a happy family reunion. 

Richard Gere does his own voice in this episode.

The chalkboard gag is in reference to Bart Simpson's Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch Cereal that came out in 2001.

The Rain Delay Theater is showing The Planet From Outer Space. This is a spoof on the 50's sci fi movies. 

There is a commercial featuring Colonel Chet Manners, 5 time Space Shuttle alternate. 

Homer's credit card number is 5784-3653-4341-0709

The Nerds first appeared in the episode Homer Goes To College. 

Paintings on the boards covering the church's broken windows, Adam and Eve tempted by the snake, Moses parting the sea, the Crucifixion, Noah's Ark.

Lindsey Nagel shows up as the new PR person for the church. 

Burns wants Reverent Lovejoy to wear a robe advertising Fatso's Hash House. In the day it was a reference to a diner but today it would be a "pharmacy".

The church has a neon Jesus sign based on Vegas Vic, with a sign that says Blackjack, Tuesday Night.

Advertisers at the new church  Lard Lad Donuts / Buzz Cola / Glup 'N' Blow / Kwik-E-Mart / The Frying Duchman "all you can eat" / Let's Get Fiscal Financial Planning /Sportacus Sporting Goods / Zip Boys / Cooke Kwan Realtor / "Watch Ally McBeal "It's Great!" / Springfield Bell / Costingtons / Omni-Pave / Red Blazer Reality / Municipal House of Pancakes / KBBL / The Singing Sirloin / Crazy Larry

The Burns church 10 Commandments: Be Kind, Rewind / Keep On The Sunny Side / You Break It You Bought It / Be a Sweetie, Wipe Your Feetie / Lift With Your Legs Not Your Back / Price Mania! / No Shirt, No Shoes No Service / Lower Toilet Seat When Finished / Don't Smoke Crack / Remember To Tip Your Waitress. (I couldn't make out the top four because of the Disney + aspect ratio but someone on Reddit told me you can change it to the proper setting and I finally got them all, even though they are quite blurry.

Lisa reads Paul Riser's Religionhood. This is a spoof on his book Couplehood complete with the book front image. She also reads Zagat's Guide To World Religions. 

Signs during Lisa's walk: Beat Bath & Baha'i / Whiskey A God God / Church of the Latter Day Druids / Amish.

This is one of those episodes I thought had happened earlier, I was sure Lisa had been a Buddhist for longer. I guess that is what happens when you watch the show in reruns and out of order, especially a show that doesn't have a chronological change over time but remains the same. 

This was the last episode of 2001. Good timing considering it's also the next break in my blog. We'll kick off next week's in the year 2002. I feel so futuristic being in the 21st century. You have to wonder what wonders of scientific discovery will lay ahead. Do you suppose 2015 will be like it's depicted in the movie Back To The Future II? I keep hearing rumors about Marvel making a movie about Iron Man, how crazy is that? Oh well on to the next episode next week.