The Simpsons 276-280

Brawl In The Family

This episode premiered on January 6th 2002. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by Malcom In The Middle. It ran opposite the ABC Sunday Night Movie (Dr. Dolittle 1998 version), 60 Minutes and Weakest Link.

The title is based on the 1971 sitcom All In The Family

There isn't a chalkboard gag and the couch gag is a garden cuts some hedges into a Simpsons topiary. 

The show opens at the Republican Party headquarters, a creepy looking castle complete with creepy music and lightning flashes. The Republicans vote to destroy the environment and then Bob Dole reads from the Necronomicon. The mass pollution creates acid rain and the family is stuck in the house, Homer doesn't mind until the rain melts the antenna, they decide to play a game. Bart is winning at Monopoly until Lisa catches him cheating and the family gets into a huge fight, Maggie calls a family fighting hotline. The police sent in the Negotabot, she sprays the family with taffy and they all get arrested. Lisa complains that she'll never get into an Ivy League School, they all mock her by saying she's going to Stanford. Gabriel shows up as their social worker to help them overcome their fighting. Homer takes Gabriel to the bar and gets really drunk. Gabriel takes the family to the woods to talk about their personal problems, he makes them work together to get their lunch that is hung in the top of a tree. Homer rams the tree with the car, knocking it down on Gabriel and over a cliff, he's stuck hanging over a pack of cougars and wolves. Homer plans to drive away and come up with a good alibi. Lisa insists on helping so they lower Homer down on a rope. Marge twists her ankle so she can't drive the car to pull them back up so Bart does it, he claims it's his first time even though he has his own keys and a set of glovers. The animals start working together to get at them so Homer tosses them the beer, the animals get drunk, Homer and Gabriel get away. The family wonders if this will be the end of their adventures, but when they pull into the driveway Homer's Vegas bride is waiting. Homer goes to a judge but Nevada law, Mormon Hold Em', makes multiple marriages legal. Marge kicks Homer out, he and Amber move into the treehouse. Ned accepts his new marriage but she can't handle his religious ways. Marge and Homer have a huge fight and he and Amber go to Moe's where she gets extra drunk. The next day Amber wakes up to discover that she married Abe and divorced Homer. Amber and Ginger run back to Vegas. The family is proud that they worked together to solve the problem. 

Delroy Lindo does the voice of Gabriel. Jane Kaczmarek returns as Judge Constance Harm.

The character of Gabriel is based on the 2000 movie The Legend Of Bagger Vance.

Springfield Republicans, Mr. Burns / Smithers/ Rainer Wolfcastle / Krusty / Dracula / Yee Haw Texan / Ralph Nader 

The Republicans have gotten Disney to build an animatronic Strom Thurmond so he can serve another 20 years. Thurmond served in congress from 1954 until 2003 when he died. (at the time the Republicans were claiming there should be term limits for Congress but were always willing to look the other way as far as he was concerned)

When the Republicans vote to destroy the environment they turn Smokey The Bear into Choppy The Lumberjack. 

Willie does a spoof on Singin' In The Rain until the acid rain burns through his umbrella and blinds him. 

Moe goes on Blind Date (a show that ran from 1999 to 2006)

Monopoly varieties: Star Wars / Rasta-Mon-Opoly/ Galip-Olopoly / Edna Krabappoly. They play the original version.

Springfield Shopper Headline: Simpsons Arrested In Family Riot, Even Maggie. The price of the paper is 25¢, kind of a continuity error.

Milhouse complains about Bart having a social worker when he has stigmata (bleeding from the hands)

Gabriel says he earned his Wings, then plays Band On The Run.

Homer and Ned married Amber and Ginger in the episode Viva Ned Flanders

Amber reads Cigarette Aficionado. 

This was the first non Treehouse Of Horror episode to not have a chalkboard gag since Bart the Mother in 1998, four years earlier.

This was the first episode of 2002.

If you don't know by now I'm not a fan of "Homer and Marge's marriage is in trouble" episodes so not my favorite. Also it felt like they had bits and pieces of two separate episodes and decided to combine them into one, the first half had nothing to do with the second half. Here's hoping for an improvement as the year goes along.

Sweets and Sour Marge

This episode premiered on January 20th 2002. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O. Disney (101 Dalmatians), The Education Of Max Bickford and The 59th Annual Golden Globes. 

The title comes from various Sweet and Sour Chinese dishes

The couch gag is Homer being picked up by a claw machine while shouting "Ow, my brain!"

The family goes to the library book sale. Dr. Nick is there reading a copy of Gray's Anatomy and freaking out at the images of guts. Marge buys Homer the Duff Book Of World Records. Homer goes to the bar where Lenny and Carl are arguing over the most clothespins clipped to the face and neck, Homer prevents a fight with the Duff book. When the family gets bored with Homer reading about records he decides to come up with his own, he wonders if he can run a mile in three and a half minutes, when Lisa says "only on Mars" Homer announces "The Simpsons are going to Mars!" then he figures out she was being sarcastic. Homer goes to the Worlds Record office and tells the guy next to him he's a cinch for fattest man, however it turns out to be Marlin Brando who is there for Worlds Greatest Living Actor. Homer learns that the only way he'd get into the book is through a group stunt so he tries to recruit the people of Springfield to build the worlds tallest human pyramid. Homer tires to climb to the top but they have to hold it for "three Mississippis" however Jimbo moves his hand and the entire town ends up in a giant human ball rolling down the hill and wind up on the truck scale. The Duff people do the math and Springfield makes the record as World's Fattest Town. Marge suddenly realizes that the family doesn't eat healthy. She goes to the Motherloving sugar corp and complains to them about their unhealthy food. Marge decides to do something so Lisa convinces her to file a class action lawsuit, She hires Gil to be their lawyer from a street corner. Marge gets a call from Professor Frink who tells her about operation Hoyvin-Mayvin, a plan to get everyone hooked on sugar. In court Motherloving tries to bribe the judge with candy but the judge rules in Marge's favor and bans sugar in Springfield. The kids all suffer from the DT's and the Kwik-E-Mart is empty. However Apu tells Homer about a group working on bringing sugar into Springfield from San Glucose. Mr Burns' yacht sails into Springfield Harbor however they get cutoff by Wiggum. They run away and are chased but the police boat crashes into a sand bar. Instead of turning the sugar over to Motherloving Homer dumps it into the harbor, and everyone dives in after it. The judge rules the sugar ban over.

Ben Stiller does the voice of Garth Motherloving, formerly Garth Hitler.

Banner at the library: Library Book Sale, Yes, We Have Pornography!

At the library sale Comic Book Guy buys Leonard Nimoy's books: I Am Not Spock / I Am Spock / I Am Also Scotty

Cletus is feeding shredded books to his pigs and says Helen Fielding is giving them Bridget Jone's Diarrhea. 

The Duff Book Of World Records is a spoof on The Guinness Book Of World Records. (but you probably figured that out)

The family is eating Frosting Gobs cereal. 

Springfield claims to be the home of the Beatles.

The entire population of Springfield weighs a collective 64,152 pounds. 

Food at the Kwik-E-Mart: Choco Cheese / Krusty O's / Honey Oats / Bag O' Cubes / Ah Fudge! Gummy Pies / Candy Creams / Sugar Soy / Sugar Ale / Sugar With Free Donuts / Chocolate Smoke'm /Honey Glazed Cauliflower / Choco-Blasted Baby Aspirin. All made by the Mother Loving Sugar Corp. 

Cletus's last name is Spuckler.

Count Fudgeula is the mascot for Motherloving breakfast cereals. A spoof on Count Chocula. 

When Wiggum burns all the sugar products in town they toss in the Butterfingers however the fire rejects them. The Simpsons did commercials for Butterfingers from 1988, before the prime time show went on the air, until 2001.

Lou has a chocolate figure of Johnny Depp from the 2000 movie Chocolate (Pronounced with French accents)

The sugar smuggling organization, Mr. Burns, Count Fudgeula, Motherloving, Apu and finally Homer.

The theme from Miami Vice plays during the boat chase.

Sugar Sugar by the Archies plays over the closing credits. 

This episode was kind of a repeat of the prohibition storyline from Homer Vs. The Eighteenth Amendment.

Jaws Wired Shut

This episode premiered on January 27th 2002. The lead in was the NFC Championship (Rams 29 - Eagles 24) and was followed by Malcolm In The Middle. It ran opposite The ABC Sunday Night Movie (Mouse Hunt), Max Bickford and Weakest Link

The title is based on the 1999 movie Eyes Wide Shut

The couch gag is the family comes in as silent movie character with Homer dressed as Charlie Chaplin. 

The Springfield Gay Pride parade goes by the house, when SLH wants to join the Gay Dog Alliance Homer makes them leave. Homer takes the family to see the movie Shenani-Goats. There are too many previews and PSAs so Homer freaks out and tries to start a riot. The ushers are all given giant Kit Kat pieces for defense. Bart teases Homer starting a fight and then he flees the theater, he runs into a statue of Dredric Tatum and breaks his jaw on the boxing glove. When Homer finds out he can't eat solid foods he tries to use the suicide machine but it doesn't work on him. At Moe's Duffman shows up for the trivia challenge offering a lifetime supply of Duff but Homer can't answer because of his wired jaw. Since Homer can't talk he starts listening to the family. Despite causing a scene the year before Marge and Homer go to the formal ball and have a great time however Homer is getting his jaw unwired the next day, Marge is dreading it. Homer agrees to appear on Afternoon Yak, a women's talk show, to discuss listening to women. He promises to keep acting normal but Marge starts to get bored with the new Homer. She decides to join the Demolition Derby. In order to save her Homer drinks a beer and hops on a donkey to rush into the arena. The donkey gets tired so Homer gives him some beer, however he falls asleep. Homer saves Marge and she realizes that she needs the regular Homer. 

Homer reads Pie Times, a spoof on High Times. Advertisement: Fork It Over, 1 pie for $10 ea. at the Pie House Shelbyville. 

Gay Pride Parade Formerly Springfield Heritage Day. 

The Gay Pride Parade plays C+C Music Factory's Everybody Dance Now.

The Gay Steel Workers Of America have a float. This is a reference to the episode Homer's Phobia.

There's a Still In The Closet float with Smithers and Patty. 

There is a Lesbians of the Caribbean float with women chasing women on a beach while singing "Yo ho ho it's an alternative lifestyle for me". This of course is a spoof on the Disney ride Pirates Of The Caribbean. 

Movies at the Googolplex, Wedgie: The Movie / Shenani-Goats / Air C.H.U.D. / Chocolate 2: The Vanilla-ing / Final Chapter: A New Beginning / Editor-In-Chimp / Too Many Premises! / Clone Me An Angel / Dude, Where's My Pepsi / Crouching Tiger, Hidden Valley Ranch

The pre movie has Movie Star Scramble "Mot Hanks" Lisa says it's obviously Tom Hanks but it turns out to be Otm Shank the India answer to Brian Dennehy.

Itchy & Scratchy in To Kill A Talking Bird. Itchy and Scratchy are at a movie when a duck in the front row gets a cell call and Itchy switches his phone with a stick of dynamite and blows him up. He then uses Scrachy's entrails to spell out "Please No Talking". This is the first Itchy and Scratchy since the episode HOMR

Coming attraction Ed O'Neill in Soccer Mummy "I Feel Good" by James Brown plays

Dr. Hibbert gives Marge a pamphlet on broken jaws, So Your Life Is Ruined. It's been a long time since the last time the Simpsons got a pamphlet at the hospital.

Marge has a framed front page of last year's formal event: "Local Man Ruins Everything" with a picture of Homer riding a donkey through a cake.

Marge and Homer get invited to dinner at Toad Hall, the place from Wind In The Willows.

Afternoon Yak is based on The View which has been on the air since 1997. The host is even a versions of Barbra Walters with the classic lisp. The second guest on the show is Luann Houten who came to talk about Milhouse wetting the bed. 

Bart is in a play, I'm Gonna Kill You by Edward Albee

Demolition Derby: As Seen On Faces Of Death III

Bart squeezes a beer and shoots it into Homer's mouth as a spoof on Popeye, complete with the song and Marge doing the classic "spaghetti arms" wave when she call for Homer to come save her. 

Half-Decent Proposal

This episode premiered on February 10th, 2002. It ran in its regular time slot and opposite the ABC Sunday Night Movie (Ace Ventura), Max Bickford and the XIX Winter Olympics.

The title and plot of the episode is a spoof on the 1993 movie Indecent Proposal

The chalkboard gag is "I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers" and the couch gag is two repo men take the couch which makes Homer cry, the kids just sit on the floor.

Marge can't sleep because Homer is snoring so loudly, even when she pinches his mouth and nose closed he snores through his eyelids. She has trouble getting an appointment with Dr. Hibbert on Wednesday morning, he's out smashing mailboxes with Dr. Nick. When Hibber tells Homer what the cost of surgery is Homer offers a counter offer of "do it for free", they get kicked out of the office. Marge falls asleep behind the wheel and falls out of the car, Bart takes over while Lisa and Milhouse work the pedals. When Marge shows up at Patty and Selmas they think she left Homer but instead they have a Girls Night. They see a show where Artie Ziff, Marge's old boyfriend, is listed as the 5th richest man in America. Patty and Selma send Artie a dirty email. After a good nights sleep Marge is back to normal but Artie shows up by helicopter. On his yacht Artie offers to give Homer $1 million dollars to spend the weekend with Marge, he promises to behave. Marge and Homer head home but they forget the kids. When they get home Homer realizes that with Artie's money he could get the sleep surgery. They decide to go through with Artie's deal but Homer gives him a set of rules, Artie promises to keep his hands off Marge. Homer goes to the bar to brag about getting a million dollars from Artie and all the guys tell Homer that she won't be coming back. Artie recreates the Senior Prom. Principal Dondilinger shows up to keep Homer from going to the dance. Artie tricks Marge into kissing him and Homer sees from the skylight, however Marge slaps him and storms out. Homer goes to Moe's and cries about losing Marge and plans on running away with Lenny. Homer leaves a goodbye VHS for Marge. Homer and Lenny go to work on an oil rig where everyone is maimed or dead. Bart tracks Homer down via the West Springfield library. Marge recruits Arty to help her find Homer. Homer and Lenny celebrate capping a well by raising their goggles but they set some ants on fire that jump into the oil and set the rig on fire. Marge shows up but Homer decides to die in the fire however Artie tells him the truth, Lenny decides to die but Carl is on the helicopter too. Marge turns down Artie's money but he gives them a device to convert Homer's snores to play Sweet Dreams, however he's got a hidden camera in it. 

The chalkboard gag is a reference to the long running Butterfingers commercials featuring the Simpsons and the episode Sweets and Sour Marge (see above)

Dream by the Everly Brothers plays while we see the people of Springfield going to bed. Comic Book Guy's room is full of Star Wars things including a Speeder bed and several signed pictures of Mark Hamill. 

Dated Reference, Time Magazine: AOL Rules.

Dr. Hibbert smashing mailboxes, to the tune of Wooly Bully by Sam The Sham and the Pharaohs, is a spoof on the mailbox baseball scene from the 1986 movie Stand By Me

Springfield Shopper headline: Sleep Important, Say Experts / Slow New Day Grips Springfield. The price of the paper is back to 50¢

Patty and Selma watch Nookie In New York, a spoof on Sex In The City. The women go to Yumi Ristorante. (I never watched the show so I don't now if that is an important reference)

Artie Ziff got rich building a device that changes the dial up sound to Georgie Girl (Remember dial up?)

The internet runs through a beat up box labeled Cisco Systems.

Artie Ziff's yacht is called PaZiffic Prince

Best line of the episode "No misdirected woo, which is pretty much any John Woo film"

When Marge flies off with Artie in his helicopter Suicide Is Painless plays. Homer has written out Keep Your Clothes On with white rocks as a spoof from the final episode of MASH

Artie comments that the band he hired for the fake prom haven't worked since the rap party for James at 16. That was a short lived 1977-78 TV show that started out as a TV movie and a weekly show James at 15. The title was changed for the second season. 

Marge uses the Just Take Me Home cab co. She tells the driver to send the $912 fare to Baron Von Kissalot. When an actual Baron gets the bill he's angry. He has really big lips.

Homer uses a Funzo doll to demonstrate Marge kissing Artie. They were seen in the episode Grift Of The Magi.

Homer and Lenny take the Suck-U-Bus Line to the oil fields in West Springfield. They pass Mt. Carlmore, carved by Lenny. 

Roughnecks Wanted- Dangerous Work, Free Burial.

Grandpa comes by and says "Homer bowled a perfect 300 game?" This is a reference to the episode Hello Gutter Hello Fadder. 

The Bart Wants What It Wants

This episode premiered on February 17th 2002. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite the ABC Sunday Night Movie (Raiders Of The Lost Ark), CBS Sunday Movie (The Fugitive) and the XIX Winter Olympics. 

The title comes from an Emily Dickinson quote, The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care. 

The chalkboard gag is "The Giving Tree is not a chump" and the couch gag is a repeat of the circus show.

Homer is running from the Olympic helicopter, he's stolen the torch because they preempt his favorite shows every four years. They recover the torch however the helicopter crashes and the torch goes out. Meanwhile the family stops at the fair at the Springfield Preparatory School. Lisa complains about not being aware of the school. Homer pops the bounce house. Skinner shows up to steal equipment, he tells Lisa "welcome to Dick Cheney's America". Bart hits a kid in the bumper cars, the airbags go off and an ambulance shows up. Homer puts Ned's name and a bid of $50 on a silent auction but it turns out to be for a $100 bill, which Ned donates it to the orphanage. A group of bullies are playing keep away with a girl's backpack but Bart shows up and shoots them with Rice Krispies treats until they run away, she turns out to be Rainer Wolfcastle's daughter. Lisa tries to keep a grip on the gate instead of leaving, Homer promises to send her to the finest college, in South Carolina, she refuses to become a gamecock. Wolfcastle shows up in a Canyonero to pick up Bart. He and Greta watch Itchy And Scratchy on DVD, remember when that was the height of high tech? Marge invites Wolfcastle over for dinner, Lisa complains about the sausages. Greta keeps flirting with Bart but he doesn't get it, when Bart comes to her house he brings Milhouse along. Homer invites Rainer to the bar, the other patrons annoy him so he sends in his lookalike. Greta invites Bart to her school dance however he finds out that Skinner is doing standup that same night and he can't resist. Skinner does jokes about school while Bart heckles him, he gets booed off stage. Lisa tells Bart off for standing up Greta so he decides he needs to break it off with her. Bart goes to talk to Greta after the breakup but finds out that she's dating Milhouse so he starts stalking them. Greta tells Bart that she's going to Toronto with her father while he's shooting a movie, so the Simpsons take a bus to Canada. When Bart tries to talk to Greta Milhouse shows up and they get into a fight. Greta tells Bart that she doesn't want to get back together and she also breaks up with Milhouse. The boys wind up on the Canadian basketball team. Skinner tries comedy again and gets heckled by Nelson. 

Wolfgang Puck does his own voice and Reese Witherspoon does the voice of Greta

The olympic flame bit is a spoof on the Winter Olympics running opposite The Simpsons. 

Springfield Preparatory was featured in the film Calling All Coeds. Marge recognizes the place where Boozer drank the pee. 

Wolfgang Puck steals Marge's recipe for Rice Krispie squares with M&Ms. He hops into the PuckMobile (complete with the music and a spinning pizza cutaway) in a spoof on Batman 66.

The Itchy And Scratchy Show: Itchy and Scratchy are doing a trapeze act but instead of catching him Itchy cuts off Scratchy's hands and when he hits the safety net he's sliced into cubes, that an elephant eats. There is an auto commentary by Itchy and Scratchy, they complain about the director Steven Soderbergh. Just then Itchy cuts off Scratchy's head with a giant pair of pruning sheers.

It's Free Lotion Night at the basketball game Bart and Greta go to. 

The comedy club is named Floppy's "Open Mic Night, Pity Laughs Welcome" The music from Seinfeld plays.

When Milhouse meets Greta for the first time he says "Wazzaaaap!" The line is from a Bud beer commercial of the day. 

While the family is in Toronto they visit the Dodgers Of Foreign Wars. They go to Paramountie studios (instead of a mountain their logo is a mountie hat).

At the Canadian film studio they are making Canadian Graffiti (the name comes from the 1973 film American Graffiti), they guy spray paints  Obey The Rules on a wall. Wolfcastle is making the movie Undercover Nerd

Bart and Milhouse wind up fighting in the middle of a show, Curling for Loonies.

Alright, I've made it through 280 episodes. Why I keep doing this, I couldn't tell you however I've reached the episodes that I'm pretty sure I've seen but I don't remember. So at least it's getting interesting. The problem is that according to Wikipedia there is no end in site. Oh dear.