The Simpsons 291-295

Poppa's Got A Brand New Badge

This episode premiered on May 22nd, 2002, a rare Wednesday showing. It was the lead in program for the night and was followed by Celebrity Boxing. It ran opposite My Wife And Kids, the 37th annual Academy Of Country Music Awards and Most Outrageous Game Show Moments.

The title comes from the Jame Brown song Papa's Got A Brand New Bag.

The plot of the episode is based on the 1982 movie Kuffs.

The couch gag is a repeat of the Blue Man Group.

Springfield is suffering through a heat wave, the number of air conditioners are draining power and the nuclear plant is at full capacity. In order to make the house feel cooler Homer plugs in a dancing Santa but causes a blackout. Lenny and Carl crash into Costington's and set off a riot. Quimby announces he's going to form a Blue Ribbon Committee so everyone is happy. Someone stole Lisa's Malibu Stacey dolls so Homer decides track them down. He finds Jimbo's cap outside the window. He heads to the hat shop and catches Jimbo trying to buy a new one. At the Kwik-E-Mart he throws nacho cheese onto Snake to prevent  a robbery, the thrill of stopping a crime inspires Homer to starts a private police force, SpringShield. Homer recruits Lenny and Carl to be in his force. Quimby is doing a live press conference to promote the police but catches Wiggum trying to shoot a piñata with a shotgun. Wiggum is fired and Quimby announces that all police duties are being turned over to SpringShield. The mob is making fake poodles out of ferrets, Homer raids his club and arrests them. Fat Tony calls the radio station to say he'll shoot Homer tomorrow, and request Radar Love. Homer tries to recruit help at church but nobody volunteers. Homer shows up to face the mob but before they shoot someone shoots them in their shoulders. Homer decides to give away the badge to the first person who shows up, it's Wiggum. It turns out Maggie has a rifle hidden under her mattress and was the mysterious shooter.

This was the last episode of the 13th season. Although Matt Groening hinted that he was going to end the series, due to budget restraints and network interference, the show would continue for another two decades. 

Springfield Shopper Headline: Heatwave Continues (the ink melts off the page)

The episodes opens with Rossini's William Tell Overture until a flower wilts from the heat.

The elderly are all pretending to be dead so they can stay at the air conditioned morgue.

The school installs an air conditioner and all the kids show up including Jughead, Fat Albert and Fonzie.

Therminator Air Conditioner settings: Glasgow Winter / Well-Digger's Bum / Witch's Teat

Willie says "We're wasting more energy than Ricky Martin's girlfriend, hey-ooo" Martin finally admitted he was Gay in 2010.

Homer's dancing Santa sings Jingle Bell Rocks.

Fox Celebrity Boxing is feature Ed Bradly vs. Mr. Ed. 

Summer in the City by The Loving Spoonfuls plays during the riot.

When the looters break into Music World they come out playing the Notre Dame fight song.

Arnie Pye makes an appearance. He hasn't had a speaking part on the show since the episode Children Of A Lesser Clod in May of 2001.

Otto goes down the street carrying Picasso's Guernica.

A guy is selling I Survived The Springfield Riot t-shirts but is crushed by the statue of Jebedia

Homer traces Jimbo's hat to the Wooly Bully shop. (the name is based on the 1964 song) He does a Dragnet interrogation of the sales clerk.

Homer's security company number is 636-555-3472

When Moe hears Homer is the new police chief he pulls a lever and accidentally exposes all the gambling equipment. Complete with a sign that says "Tonight In Moe's Attic Paul Anka!"

Homer frees Otis, the loveable town drunk, this is a spoof on the Andy Griffith Show character.

Homer trying to recruit help at church is based on the 1952 movie High Noon.

The mobsters driving to shoot Homer is a spoof on the opening credits of The Sopranos with various Springfield locations in the background and the theme song Woke Up This Morning.

The population of Springfield is 30,720 and its elevation is 1582'.

Billboard: Superintendent Chalmers, Now More Than Ever

Originally this episode was planned to air as the first of the 14th season but a last minute decision had it air on a Wednesday night at the end of the 13th season. Only 21 seasons to go, so far. Will there be a 35th season? I guess we'll find out in the fall.

Treehouse Of Horror XIII

This episode premiered on November 3rd, 2002. The lead in show was a repeat of the Simpsons (I Am Furious Yellow) and was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Home Alone 4), Becker and American Dreams.

The show starts off with a seance in order for Ned to contact Maude. Bart shows up wearing a dress and a mop but the real ghost shows up and starts reading from The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 13. (this is the first episode not titled The Simpsons Halloween Special)

Send In The Clones

The title of this segment is based on the 1973 song Send In The Clowns

Homer's hammock collapses just as the hammock salesman is passing by. The new hammock turns out to be cursed and creates a clone of Homer, he makes Homer 2 do all the work however the clone kills himself with faulting wiring, so Homer create a second clone to help him toss the dead one over the fence. He creates even more clones to take care care of all his boring chores like going clothes shopping with Marge and visiting Grandpa. When Marge wants to snuggle the real Homer steps in. Homer tells one of the clones to return Ned's chainsaw however he cuts Flander's head off. Homer dumps the clones off in a field, but first he kills all the ones who know how to get home. However he also leave the hammock with the clones, and they start mass creating new Homers. The Homers go on a rampage, eating all the crops and draining the Duff brewery. Lisa comes up with a plan to lure the Homers into the Springfield Gorge with giant donuts. After the attack Marge discovers that the real Homer fell off the cliff and has been replaced by a clone. 

Marge's list of chores for Homer: 1) Change Floodlights 2) Clean Downspouts 3) Write Wedding Thank You Notes 4) Mow Lawn

When they show the Homer clones it also includes Peter Griffith (a spoof on the comment that Family Guy is just a clone of The Simpsons) and the original Tracey Ullman shorts version, "Lets all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes". There is also a Homer wearing Kissinger's glasses from the episode $pringfield, a fat Homer from King-Sized Homer and a faceless Homer.

The Homer clone story comes from the 1996 movie Multiplicity

Gil is the farmer of the corn crop destroyed by the Homer clones, they also eat him.

When the military are talking about the Homer swarm they do it in the War Room from the 1964 film Dr. Strangelove.

During the giant donuts scene they play Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner in a spoof of the 1979 film Apocalypse Now

The Homers falling into the gorge is a spoof on when Homer fell in Springfield Gorge in the episode Bart The Daredevil.

The segment ends with the 1970 song The One You're With by Stephen Stills

The Fright To Creep And Scare Harms

The title of this segment is based on the Second Amendment "The Right To Keep And Bear Arms"

Bart and Lisa are burying Goldie the goldfish (August-October). They find Billy the Kid's tombstone, it is inscribed "I dream of a world without guns. Everyone turns in their guns for money, which are converted into playground equipment. Once the guns are gone a zombie Billy The Kid shows up with the James brothers, Sundance Kid and Kiser Wilhelm. They cause mass destruction around town. Professor Frink has built a time machine but Homer takes off with it to stop Lisa. He leads a heavily armed crowd to shoot up the graves. The zombies are run out of town but another future Homer shows up to warn them about an Earth ravaged by gun violence, however Moe shoots him and takes off with the time machine to find caveman hookers. 

Protest rally banner: Remember William Bonney Ban Guns Now. Signs at the protest: Conceal Love, Not Firearms / Let's Murder Gun Violence / Fire Gil, Not Guns

Moe writes a books "My Troubled Mind"

Note, the really Billy the Kid is buried in Ft. Sumner New Mexico

The Island Of Dr. Hibbert

The title and plot line of this segment is based on the H.G. Wells story The Island Of Dr. Moreau.

The family is flying to the Island Of Lost Souls. Dr. Hibbert runs the island resort, he has a monkey Willie and serves Professor Frink for dinner as a turkey. Hibbert grabs Marge and converts her into a panther woman. Flanders shows up as a half cow who needs to be milked, he gets Homer to do it. Ned takes him to where the hybrids are living. Bart has been turned into a spider and writes "Eat My Shorts" in his web. Homer tells the hybrids that all they can do is sleep and mate and roll around in their own filth and mate, then asks where he can sign up. He is turned into a walrus. Kodos and Kang fly over the skull shaped island and claim it's like their number 4. 

Hibbert's half animals: Krabappal cheetah / Jasper Goat / Selma Elephant / Patty Lion / Snake Skunk / Krusty Lion / Apu Opossum / Lou Leopard / Eddy Mouse / Zit Faced Kid Donkey / Lovejoy Kangaroo / Ralph Peacock / Comic Book Guy Ram / Grandpa Chicken / Otto Camel / Moleman Turtle / Moe Frog / Cletus Monkey / Barney Panda / Sideshow Mel Aardvark (I guess) / Chalmers (I can't tell) / Wiggum Pig (hmmmm) / Smithers Flamingo / Disco Stu Shrew / Luigi Guinea Pig / Bart Spider / Maggie Aardvark / Lisa Hawk / Sea Captain Aligator / Dr Nick Squirrel / Judge Hippo /Mr. Burns Fox / Bumblebee Man Bee / Kent Brockman Rhino / Martin Sheep / Skinner and Agnes Kangaroos / Nelson Rat

During the animal pool scene the theme from Fantasy Island plays. 

How I Spent My Strummer Vacation

This episode premiered on November 10th 2002. The lead in show was a repeat of The Simpsons (Weekend at Burnses) and followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Beauty And The Beast), 60 Minutes and American Dreams. 

The couch gag is the family comes in on water skis and jumps sharks to get onto the couch, however the sharks get Homer's legs.

Homer goes to Moe's but discovers he doesn't have any money. He goes to the top of a mountain for thin air, licks toads at the pet store and donates blood. He goes back to the bar to mock Moe, who gives him a free beer. Homer staggers out the door and gets in his car but he threw his keys down the sewer, he tries to escape making car noises but they stuff him into a cab. He wakes up at 5 in the afternoon and can't remember anything. That night the family watches Taxicab Conversations, Homer is one of the passengers, at first he's really complimentary and then he starts talking about how he had to give up his dreams of being a rock star. The family is mad at Homer for saying he ruined their lives, the next day they meet him at work and go on a sinister trip, they dump him off in the woods but it's The Rolling Stones Rock And Roll Fantasy Camp. Homer took some pills and can't stop talking and sees Jesus. Elvis Costello tries to talk some of the campers into playing the base. Homer comes up with his own guitar move, swinging it by the cord, but he loses it and it crashes through Mick Jagger's window,"SIMPSON!" When Kieth Richards tries to teach the campers how to escape to the limo the guys stop to make out with the cardboard groupies. The campers put on a show and then the family comes to take Homer home. He wants to stay but the camp is over. Mick Jagger lets Homer do a guest shot on the stage at a charity concert. When he shows up it turns out they just want him to test the mics as a roadie. Homer decides to start singing but Jagger drives the devil car on stage and chases him around, however he loses control and crashes into the audience, causing a riot. Homer realizes that he'd rather be at home than a rock star. To thank him they give Homer the devil car. He shoots flames at Skinner and burns his suit off. Cut to Richards and Jagger doing housework. The Closing credits are shown over live shots of the rock stars recording their lines. 

Elvis Costello, Tom Petty, Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, Lenny Kravitz and Brian Setzer do their own voices in this episode.

The couch gag is a reference to the term "Jumping the shark" It refers to a show that has peaked and is on a downhill run. The expression came from the Happy Days episode where Fonzie jumps a shark on water skis. This is also a Self Aware joke however we're heading into season 35 so....

Notes in Homer's wallet: Had to buy diapers for Maggie, love Marge...Simpson / Took money for the school book fair, Love Lisa / Homer, I need cash or they're gonna break my legs, Bart

Homer wears a pin that says "Be nice to me: I gave blood" so Carl doesn't punch him. 

Homer's favorite show is MTC: Monkey Trauma Center

Taxicab Conversations is based on Taxicab Confessions. Disco Stu admits that he hates Disco. 

Regulars at the fantasy camp: Homer / Otto / Barney / Apu / Wiggum / Herman / Kirk / Hibbert / Frink / Gil / Lenny

Elvis Costello's Instrument Shack / Lenny Kravitz Thread Shed / Intro To Guitar Slinging With Brian Setzer / Lyrics Workshop with Tom Petty / Escaping To The Limo Prof. Keith Richards 

Bart vs. Lisa vs. The Third Grade

This episode premiered on November 17th 2002. It ran in its usual time slot (the repeat episode was Gump Roast). It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Mr. St. Nick), Becker and American Dream

The chalkboard gag is "Fish Do Not Like Coffee" and the couch gag is Homer going through a series of Get Smart doors, including the phone booth, until he drops onto the couch where the rest of the family is already sitting.

The family is watching TV but the only thing on is reality shows. Bart suggests getting a satellite dish, in order to pay for it Homer bets heavily on a horse named "No Risk". The guy tells Homer they'll install the dish sometime between 8 AM Monday and June, cut to September when they are actually doing the work. Bart becomes addicted to TV and doesn't study for the aptitude test. The kids have to go to a performance by MC Safety and the Caution Crew, a group of rappers talking about cross walks. At the assembly Skinner announces that Lisa is being promoted to the third grade, and that Bart is being demoted, to the third grade. The siblings are going to be in the same class, Homer is watching on satellite TV but changes the channel to Mannix. Bart excels since he took the class the year before. Bart and Lisa end up as field trip buddies. The kids teach the other students the game of Punch Buggy, just as they drive by a Volkswagen dealership. At the capitol the legislators are debating changing the flag from the sun setting on the Confederate Flag so the teacher gives the students an assignment, make a new flag. Bart changes Lisa's flag to say Learn To Fart. Bart and Lisa get into a fight and miss the bus, they are left behind in Capitol City and get lost in the woods. The school adds Bart and Lisa's names to the memorial wall. Bart confesses to all the things he's done to Lisa. The kids are found by a group of hillbillies, who drive them back to town. Skinner decides to return Bart to the fourth grade and Lisa decides to go back to the second grade. The episode ends with Millhouse saying "Ay Caramba" and Skinner calling him sad. 

The couch gag is a spoof on the opening credits of the 1965 TV series Get Smart.

The family is watching Animal Survivor. A group of animals are appearing on a Survivor style show. Homer changes the channel to Touch The Stove, a competition show where people....touch the hot stove.

Marge says "get back honkey cat", a line from the Elton John song Honkey Cat.

The name of the satellite TV store is The Boob Tubery.

When Bart turns the satellite tv on for the first time The Blue Danube Waltz by Strauss plays. The satellite is full of monkeys working a switch board. I wonder how many Century Kids know what a switch board is?

The Simpsons watch the NBC news feed with Tom Brokaw. In the day people would watch for what happened during the commercial breaks when the cameras were still rolling in the studio. They then watch Japanese Friends, The Clock Channel and Robot Rumble. 

Bart pictures his class as TV shows including Bender from Futurama.

Mannix was a detective show that ran from 1967 to 1975.

When they're lost in the woods Bart says they can circle around like the kids in the Blair Witch Project, the 1999 "found footage" movie.

The teacher of the third grade is Mrs. McConnell

Lisa reads Love In The Time Of Coloring Books, a spoof on Love In The Time Of Cholera. (I thought they made up the title of that book for the movie Serendipity)

The Capitol City Goofball is the state representative. 

the kids stay at the Second Best Western Hotel. 

Mary Bailey is the state governor. She was elected in the episode Two Cars In Every Garage and Three Eyes On Every Fish.

The hillbilly family is going to town to pick up the latest edition of Spy Magazine. It was published from 1986 to 1998, the hillbillies are four years too late.

This was a miss episode for me. Again, they set up a story line but then lost control of it and didn't have a real conclusion. 

Large Marge

This episode premiered on November 24th 2002. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by That 70's Show. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (The Santa Clause), Becker and The NBC Sunday Night Movie (Runaway Bride).

The title of this episode comes from the truck driving ghost character in the 1985 film Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

The couch gag is Homer drawing the family with an Etch-A-Sketch. He shouts Woo Hoo! when he's done.

The show starts off with a documentary about the 1948 Presidential Election. Homer is cheering for Dewey but is upset when Truman wins, he bet Lisa on the outcome and she gets to pick the day's activity. She chooses building homes for the homeless. Homer tries to imitate Bart's El Barto and paints El Homo, when he realizes what he did he quickly tries to paint over it, slopping paint everywhere and that's when Lisa discovers he lost his wedding band and has been wearing a bandaid wrapped in tinfoil. Two women show up and see that Homer has a tan line around where his wedding ring use to be and swarm on him. Marge listens to Radio Disney and they do a version of Who Let The Dogs Out but substitute Milk in the song. Marge thinks Homer is flexing for the women but is demonstrating how Bart was born. Marge gets jealous. Bart and Milhouse watch Batman, Krusty appears as Clownface. The villain spins Batman at high speed on a merry go round, they escape because Batman had Carousel Reversal Spray. Marge is worried that Homer is cheating on her and asks Manjla for advice, since Apu had cheated on her. Manjula points. out that Marge is flabby so she goes to a stomach stapling clinic. They make a mixup and give Marge a breast implant, but they can't remove them for 48 hours. Bart ties Milhouse to the playground merry go round and ties a rope to the back of the bus, it spins out of control and goes flying off, over the slide and just as a group of Iwo Jima veterans are visiting. The merry go round crashes over the flag and Milhouse pukes on it. Bart blames it on seeing the Batman show with Krusty. Marge has trouble adjusting to her new breasts, she decides to hide it from the family. Homer discovers Marge's enhancement and the "snuggle", then he suggest going out to dinner. They go to Luigi's and he is turning people away until he sees Marge's breasts. Lisa complains so Homer sings a song, to the tune used in The Spring In Springfield. KieKie Highsmilth from a modeling agency approaches Marge. Her first show is an oven mitt convention. Krusty is forced to change his show to promote safety. Bart plans to help Krusty out, Milhouse suggest cutting off his foot for sympathy and Bart says it didn't help his dad get his mom back. Marge comes in with back problems thanks to her implants. Bart goes to the Friars Club to tell Krusty his plan, to cause a riot at the shoe expo. Barts plan is to have Stampy the elephant try to crush Milhouse when Krusty will run up and say the safety word, Magumbo, which makes the elephant lay down. Krusty forgets the word and Stampy tries to eat Milhouse and Bart, and then goes nuts. The police are about to shoot Stampy when Marge runs up and flashes the police, Krusty comments on Marge's breasts by saying Magumbos and the elephant lays down and spits out Milhouse, Bart and Homer. Marge gets the implants removed. 

Adam West does the voice of Batman, Burt Ward does Robin and the Baha Men do their own voices.

Simpsons Prediction: Homer watches a film about Truman winning the 1948 election, he says "not if I can stop that inauguration". In 2021 the maga crowd tried to stop the vote certification. 

Domiciles for the Destitute. Carter, Bush sr. and Clinton are building homes, it turns into a Three Stooges bit.

Lindsay Nagel and Cookie Kwan are the two women "husband shopping" at the charity build. 

Here's something that hasn't happened for a while, they pan down from the second to the first floor and there are dinosaur eggs hatching in the space between. Velociraptors to be specific.

Kent Brockman is doing a report on the Segway scooter and the loss of 1000 lives. Ironically the owner of Segway Inc died in 2010 when he rode one over a cliff.

In the episode Radioactive Man Krusty had tried out for the part of Krispie The Clown in the 1960's tv show.

Protests signs at Krusty's soundstage: Parents United Against Krusty's Evil (PUKE) / Don't Barf On Me (with the don't tread on me snake puking) / Cancel Beavis & Butthead, Jackass, Krusty.

Restaurant patrons that sing about Marge's breasts: Homer / Moe / Snake / Dr. Hibbert / Sea Captain / Mr. Burns / Quimby / Marge Powers / Jasper / Agnes / Skinner / Gladys / Wiggum / Sideshow Mel / Bumblebee Man / Old Jewish Guy / Dr. Nick

Bart sings "I got Krusty in hot water" to the tune of Yankee Doodle. 

Marge's first job is at the Oven Mitt Convention "If the mitt don't fit, we will remit" (This slogan is based on Johnnie Cochran's closing arguments in the OJ Simpson trial)

Marge appears on the cover of Trade Show Digest. Magazine headline "Margerum Wows Dog Chow Pow-Wow"

Marge won Presenter Of The Month at the mitt show.

Shoe expo booths: Fat Tony's Cement Shoes, the last shoes you'll ever need. / Shoes For Jesus (run by Ned) / Drederick Tatum Footwear / Stampy Says: Don't Forget Shoelaces (Stampy is from the episode Bart Gets An Elephant) / Global Shoehorn

Springfield Shopper headline: Crazed Mom Goes Topless Photos Pages 3-28 / TV Clown Saves Day.

The Baha Men sing a closing credit song of Who Let The Jugs Out?

We've reached episode 295, five more and we hit another century mark and almost to the end of 2002. That means only 22 more years worth of shows to go.