The Simpsons Movie

The movie premiered on July 21st 2007 in Springfield Vermont at the Springfield Theater. It came out in wide release on the 27th. That night (the 21st) the TV programs were The Wonderful World Of Disney (The Princess Diaries),  The Unit, Cops (on Fox) and America's Got Talent.

The movie starts off with the 20th Century Fox logo, Ralph comes out in the 0 to sing along with the Da-da-da-daaaa (haven't we all).  Scratchy lands on the moon, however Itchy stabs him with the flag pole and leave him behind. they hold a ticker tape parade for Itchy with two female mice dressed like Jackie Kennedy on the day of the assassination. In the Oval Office Itchy hears Scratchy calling from the moon, when he looks through a powerful set of binoculars he sees Scratchy still alive holding up a sign saying "I'm telling". Itchy gets an idea and goes to a portrait of a mouse Lincoln, behind it is the missile launch command. Itchy sends the entire nuclear arsenal at the moon, a screaming Scratchy swallows them all, the last missile comes up with a small boot, kicks Scratchy and sets off all the bombs. Homer stands up in the theater and shouts "Boring", he says everyone in the theater is a giant sucker for paying to see what they could see at home, he then looks at the camera, points and says "Especially you!" The movie cuts to The Simpsons logo, Frink flies by on a Steampunk flying bicycle pulling a banner that says Movie, he sing "Movie, on the big screen" as the aspect ratio opens out to wide screen. 

The Simpsons opening starts, it cuts to Burns Manor where Smithers is putting toothpaste on Burns brush, he falls over from the weight, Apu is changing the expiration date on the milk from 2006 to 2008, the bullies are raising Martin on the school flagpole by his underwear. Bart does a chalkboard gag by writing "I Will Not Illegally Download This Movie". 

Green Day is playing on a floating barge in Lake Springfield for the Duff Summer Concert Series, they do a version of the Simpson theme song.  Mrs. Krabappal flash opens her jacket but she's wearing a t shirt that says Not My Boyfriend and an arrow is pointing downward towards Skinner. CBG is trying to crowd surf but the people can't hold him up. The College Nerds are in the crowd. Billie Joe Armstrong sings Da Da Da Da Da for The Simpsons song and a teleprompter has the words on a screen for him. When Armstrong talks to the crowd about the environment they pelt him with garbage. Their barge starts to dissolve and sink from the pollution, they break out their violins and play Nearer My God To Thee. Reverend Lovejoy holds a service for the latest rock band to die in Springfield. The Simpsons show up late, Homer is complaining about the boring service and all the morons, everyone can hear them. Bart brings a Gameboy but Maggie takes the game cartridge. Lovejoy asks the crowd to talk, Ned volunteers but then Grandpa has a vision, he warns them about a twisted tail, a thousand eyes, trapped forever and then shouts "EPA!" over and over. Homer rolls him up in the church rug and then the family goes to get waffles, but they leave Grandpa in the car. 

Bart and Homer are putting new shingles on the roof, Homer is about to hit himself on the thumb with the hammer but gets the claw in his eye instead. Bart challenges Homer to a dare contest, first Homer dares Bart to climb the TV antenna, Homer starts shaking it and Bart almost goes over the edge of the roof, while hanging on to the drain pipe Homer tries to hit his fingers with the hammer, but crashes through a weak spot on the roof instead. After the Green Day disaster Lisa tries to get people to sign her petition to clean up the lake, however everyone slams the door in her face. Milhouse offers to sign her petition because he's passionate about the planet but Nelson shows up and threatens to punch him unless he calls Global Warming a myth. When Milhouse does it Nelson punches him for giving up on his beliefs. Milhouse is happy that Lisa is showing him some sympathy but that is when Colin shows up, asking people to sign a petition supporting conservation. Colin is from Ireland but has to explain to Lisa that his father isn't Bono. CBG comes over to show Marge the video of Grandpa at church, in exchange he gets her old pregnancy pants. After Homer lets Bart shoot him with a BB Gun while hauling around a load of bricks on his back he dares Bart to ride his skateboard to Krustyburger and back, naked. When Bart says girls will see his doodle Homer starts calling him a chicken but Bart has already taken off.  While riding past Ralph he says "I like men now".  A series of things censor Bart until he rides past a fence with a horizontal gap and you see "The full Monty".  The cops start chasing Bart and Wiggum shoots off one of wheels, he crashes into the window of Krusty Burger. Ned and the boys are inside praying and Ned says "don't forget to thank the lord for this bountiful....Penis!", the boys reply "bountiful penis".  The cops handcuff Bart, naked, to a pole and then go to lunch. They have Nelson point at Bart's dangle and laugh, he continues to do so for hours until his mother comes to get him, then she starts laughing at Bart. Homer finally shows up but when he finds out he could get in trouble for daring Bart he claims the boy is out of control. Homer forgets to bring Bart some pants but Ned has a spare pair. Bart says it's the worst day of his life, Homer tells him "The worst day, so far", this has become a popular meme on the social networks. Homer asks Bart what is wrong but before he gets an answer he sees them shooting a Krusty Burger commercial with a pig wearing a chef's hat and is distracted. After they get the shot they plan on killing the pig but Homer rescues it. 

When Homer brings the pig home Marge notices it has a twisted tail, which is the first part of Grandpa's prediction. Bart is upset that Homer is giving the pig more attention than him. He is just about to shoot Homer with his slingshot when Ned starts talking to him. Ned talks about going fishing with the boys, Bart remembers back when Homer dropped a bug zapper in the lake to kill the fish and just scooped them up. Ned offers to take him fishing and then fixes him a cup of cocoa with whipped cream, chocolate shavings, a graham cracker and caramelized marshmallow, Bart acts like a squirrel, sneaks up to take it and then runs off to the yard to drink it. Marge is trying to scrub all the pig tracks in the house, especially on the ceiling where Homer has been playing Spider-Pig, he sings a version of the Spider-Man song, meanwhile Lisa is going on about Colin. While fishing Bart gets a bite but accidentally drops the pole but is shocked when Ned doesn't strangle him. Meanwhile Krusty is dumping a truck load of Flop Sweat into the lake, the crazy cat lady is washing her cats, and Moe dumps a truckload of bottles, complete with Barney. Lisa warns the town that the lake is on the verge of becoming a toxic waste site. She put water from the lake in everyone's drinking glass. Quimby declares the situation a Code Black and bans dumping in the lake. Lenny and Carl cork the drain pipe from the nuclear plant while their pants dissolve. The town puts up concrete barriers around the edge of the lake and Fat Tony is told he can't dump anything so he plans to take his "Yard Trimmings" to a car compactor. To test the barrier to make sure it's idiot proof they tell Cletus to dump something in the lake but he can't get past. 

Homer watches Bumble Bee man on TV, he accidentally kisses a burro. Homer and the pig laugh but then Homer considers kissing the pig, but Marge walks in. Homer shows Marge his Pig Crap Silo, when she asks about the pig filling up the silo in two days Homer says "Well, he had some help".  Homer changed the pig's name from Spider-Pig to Harry Plopper, who is now wearing glasses with a painted on lightning bolt scar. Homer takes the pig silo to the toxic waste dump but Lenny calls to tell him that the health department is shutting down Lard Lad due to rats and they are giving away free donuts so Homer decides to dump the crap silo in Lake Springfield. The lake turns black and a green skull and crossbones forms on the surface, it says "Evil!" Homer jumps in the back seat of the car and shouts "Drive Drive Drive!" but then realizes the pig is behind the wheel, he gets in the front and drives off.  A squirrel gets chased into the lake but when he comes out he has multiple eyes and fangs. Homer and Ned hike to the top of a hill. They find the muti-eyed squirrel, Bart starts poking it in the eyes but the EPA shows up and hauls it off. 

Russ Cargill goes to visit President Schwarzenegger to tell him about the environmental crisis in Springfield. Cargill has five unthinkable options for Springfield, Arnold picks #3 without looking at them "I was elected to lead, not to read" (another Trump prediction?). A giant dome is dropped over Springfield sealing it off from the rest of the world. One guy can't figure out if he should stay inside or run outside and is crushed by the dome. Marge realizes that EPA from Grandpa's vision is the Environmental Protection Agency. The Springfield Police Hometown Security department show up to shoot the dome but the bullets ricochet back and hit them, Wiggum asks them to raise their hands if they are injured, they all groan so he tells them to  try it with a little less attitude. Frink has a drill that could easily cut through the dome, however it's outside. Cargill appears on a projection on the side of the dome to tell them why they are sealed in. To make sure nobody comes looking they've taken Springfield off the GPS system. 

Marge is sitting in the yard and sees Maggie out of the dome but when she gets Homer Maggie is in the sandbox. Homer sees his reflection in the dome and thinks he's outside so he tries to run off but winds up in the house, Marge follows him in. Maggie is then sucked into the sink hole and pops up on the other side of the dome. 

Brockman reports that the town can't find the cause of the pollution, until they find Homer's pig crap silo. Homer says that could be anyone's silo until they roll it over and it says "Return To Homer Simpson (No Reward). Marge tells Homer off and an angry mob forms. A group of torch bearing citizens are out to kill Homer except they are going the wrong way until Homer leans out the window and calls them idiots. Homer doesn't want to go out so they break down the door. Lisa sees Colin holding flowers but Carl thinks they are an unlit torch and sets them on fire. Homer nails the door shut and pretends to have a chainsaw but the people can see in. Ned stretches a board across for them to escape on but the pig pushes it over and the fall to the ground. The archery club tries to shoot them, Nelson uses a red arrow so he can tell who he killed. The family flees to the car, Marge rushes back in the burning house to grab her wedding video, and wash a dirty dish. The family tries to flee in the car but the mob carries them to the back yard where they've set up the nooses. The family crawls out and into the treehouse. The mob tries to knock it down but Maggie shows the family the sink hole, they all jump in but Homer gets stuck about halfway down, he digs his way down while they claw at him, and Nelson hits him with the red arrow. The sink hole widens up, swallowing the car and eventually the whole house. Colin shows up to play Lisa a song but she can't hear him so he writes it on the dome. Bart mocks her for having a boyfriend so she punches him. The EPA shows up so the Simpsons run away. Cargill demands 10,000 tough guys and 10,000 soft guys to surround the dome. His assistant says he's gone mad with power, he agrees and says going mad without power is boring.

The family checks into a sleazy motel, Bart finds some whisky and gets drunk. Homer can't remember the secret knock. Homer says he doesn't know why he does the stuff he does but he has a backup plan, Alaska. Marge doesn't want to go so Homer tells her that there comes a point in every marriage where a partner gets to say "I need you to do this with me" so she agrees. Bart says Marge just bought a load of crap from the world's fattest fertilizer salesman. (sounds like MAGA). Homer says they don't have to believe in him but they should believe in America, he opens the curtains to a series of billboards in foreign languages. (one is for a real beer company). The family goes to the carnival where a guy is offering his truck to anyone who can ride a motorcycle around the wheel of death. Homer fails three times but the guy gives him a free try, Lisa tells Homer to speed up at the top and he actually makes it, they take the guy's truck, his Siamese Twin wives are going to kill him. The family drives off, the next stop, Alaska. 

Back in Springfield there are rolling blackouts, the lights go off at Moe's and they steal all his booze. He threatens them and says he's going to turn off the lights, when he turns them back on he wants it all returned. When the lights come back on they've stolen everything including the bar and his clothes. Moe is wearing Duff underwear.

The Simpsons stop at a gas station but their poster is up on the wall. Marge distracts the clerk while Bart draws over the face, the clerk says he's spotted them and a family that looks just like the drawing gets arrested. 

In Springfield the power is failing so they go begging to Burns "at last, the powerful White man is in control". Dr. Hibbert begs for power so he can perform surgery, Wiggum says they want to execute a guy and Burns considers it but then Apu says "Look into your heart", Burns releases the hounds. 

The family gets to Alaska but it's nothing but oil rigs and pumps, Homer is disappointed so he puts his poster across the windshield, they loses control, go down a cliff but manage to land on a road. Homer is happy his poster didn't get torn but then realizes that they are looking at the actual Alaska. When they cross the border from Canada to Alaska the guy gives them a $1000, money from the oil companies to ravage the natural beauty of the state. The family sets up in a cabin, while Homer is hiking back with a load of wood Bart starts clapping causing small snow slides, Lisa tells him to stop but Homer sees them and demands that Lisa applaud Alaska too, this causes an avalanche and pushes Homer into the house. Since he and Marge are alone they decide to "snuggle".

Under the dome people are on edge, when the book club gets into a fight over Tuesdays With Maury and the AA meeting runs out of coffee, a full scale riot breaks out. They all attack the dome, Ralph tries to blow bubbles on it and when one hits him in the eye he says "oh no, blowback!" Cargill sees the town attacking the dome and comes up with a new plan. He offers a new 5 plans but Schwarzenegger insists on knowing so Cargill has him pick a series of numbers and when they get to 4 Cargill goes with that plan, Blow Up Springfield. The Simpsons sees a commercial with Tom Hanks telling people about the new Grand Canyon, east of Shelbyville and south of Capitol City, there is the image of a giant smoldering hole, Marge recognizes it as Springfield. She decides they need to go and save the city but Homer says "screw Springfield". The family gets mad at him and Bart says he wishes Ned were his father, he even drew Ned over Homer's photo and force him to look at it while he shouts "Howdely Doodly". Marge tells Homer that in every marriage a partner says "I need you to do this with me", Homer says it's the stupidest thing he ever he heard, even though he said it to convince them to move to Alaska. They all tell him off but he insists they are staying, as he storms away Bart holds up the picture of Ned to the window. Homer goes to Eski Moe's bar and plays Grand Theft Walrus. When Homer gets home he discovers the family left and Marge recorded a video for him saying they were going to save Springfield, and to prove to herself that things were really over between them she recorded over her wedding video. Homer runs out to the lake and falls on a heart shaped chunk of ice but it splits in two.

Fade out "To Be Continued"

Fade in "Immediately"

Homer is on the banks of the river, a polar bear is about to attack him when a stranger shows up and scares it off. As the bear wanders off he punts a fox, why? I don't know. She hauls Homer back to her place, just as Marge goes by in the train. Bart is digging through people's luggage. When Marge says they have to keep a low profile until they get to Seattle Lisa says they should keep quiet. Marge says it's not like the government is listening to everyone's conversations, just then a robot conductor pops up. An agent in a Kafkaesque office celebrates overhearing the Simpsons. 

Homer wakes up in the Shaman's tent, she give him a liquid and then has him do throat singing, Homer starts to have a vision while Spider-Pig plays in the background. Homer tries to have an euphony, Bananas are an excellent source of potassium, Americans will never embrace soccer, more than two shakes and it's playing with yourself. The trees in Homer's vision tear him apart and he realizes that without the family he's nothing so he has to go help save Springfield. 

The family arrives in Seattle but are caught by the EPA. Homer takes a dog team across Alaska, he whips them the whole way and that night when he unleashes them they attack him and run off. He trudges on through the snow and is about to give up when the Shaman shows up in the Northern Lights and encourages him to go on. Homer makes it back and hears Lisa playing her sax in an EPA van. He steals a wrecking ball and goes after them. Despite a huge swing the ball barely taps the van and swings back hitting him, swinging him into a giant fork, Paul Bunyon statue and finally between a rock and a bar called A Hard Place, get it? Bart stars banging on the truck with his shackles so they gas the family and when they come to they are in Springfield. The whole place is trashed out, except for the school. Moe shows up. wearing a traffic cone and declares himself The Emperor Of Springfield, Barney shouts "No you aren't" so Moe throws a flaming bottle at him, Barney says "OK, all hair the Emperor of Springfield". Russ Cargill appears on the dome screen to announce Operation Soaring Eagle, a plan to blow up the town. A bomb is lowered into Springfield.

Homer shows up in a doorman uniform he stole, he calls himself General Marriott Suites and has an order written on a leaf. When the guard doesn't fall for it Homer punches him and tries to climb up the dome but can't do it. He runs into a nearby shed and goes past the jet pack, grabbing the super glue instead. With glue on his hands he climbs the dome. Meanwhile Carl figures out if they distract Cargill they can climb up the rope that used to lowered the bomb into the city. Cletus shows Cargill the sliding thumb trick while the townspeople use the radio tower to get on the rope, Just as they are about to escape Homer comes sliding down and knocks them back in, the rope is dropped and they are all doomed. Homer kicks the bomb and it loses four minutes. CBG says he spent his whole life collecting comic books and "Life Well Spent!" Bart goes to the church where he finds Flanders and the boys. He asks if he can pretend Ned is his real father. The bomb disposal robot has too much pressure on him, grabs Wiggum's gun and kills himself. 

Homer spots Marge but runs into a tree, a leaf points at the hole and a light shines down on a motorcycle. He hops on and goes to get Bart, he asks for forgiveness but Bart says he wants consistency.  Homer offers to let him hold the bomb so he hops on the motorcycle and they go riding up the side of the dome like when Homer rode inside the Wheel Of Death. Martin shows up and beats the bullies with a stick. Homer has another ephoney about how he was raised but Marge yells up at him "Just throw the G-D Bomb!" (unedited of course). Bart loses his grip but holds on to Homer's hair, Homer grabs his arm and Bart tosses the bomb. (cut to Otto who is using a bong and really stoned). The bomb sails up out of the hole but then bounces around until it lands on the outside. The dome collapses and Homer keeps jumping off broken pieces until he goes over Springfield Gorge. They miss the edge but Bart snags an outcropping with his slingshot and bounces them back up, giving Homer the wedgee of a lifetime. The dome collapses into dust except for one giant piece that lands on Dr Nick "Goodbye everybody". When Cargill plans on killing Homer and Bart, Bart says "Wait, you'll never know where the treasure is buried, the treasure of I'mAWeiner", when Cargill says "I'm a Wiener?" they both laugh at him and Homer says "Classic". Just as Cargill is about to shoot them Maggie hits him over the head with a rock. Homer says "What a great little accident you turned out to be". Lisa goes in search of Colin, Milhouse tells her he's dead but then he shows up. The town hails Homer as a hero. Marge forgives Homer and they ride off together. She says best kiss of her life, Homer says So far. The town chips in to rebuild the Simpson house, Bart has Homer put on goggle while shingling the roof. Homer manages to drive the nail, right into his own leg. When he runs in pain he pulls off all the other shingles. 

Green Day's version of the Simpson's song plays over the credits. All the character voiced by the actors are seen. 

Mid credit scenes, Smithers tells Burns that the mob has taken everything, Burns suggests that Smithers kill himself. 

Tom Hanks says "If you see me in person leave me be."

A choirs version of Spider-Pig then plays over the scrolling credits. 

The family comes up in the scroll, sitting in the movie theater seats.  Bart wants to leave because he has to go,  he's been holding in since they put the dome over the town, Homer insists that they stay to memorize the names of everyone who worked on the film. Lisa wants to make sure no animals were harmed during the making of the film, when the message scrolls by they get up to leave, Homer finds floor popcorn. Maggie says her first word, "Sequel", they walk off. 

When they get to the starring names the Springfield Anthem plays, set to the tune of La Marseillaise. You can find the lyrics on the internet. 

The credits include "Filmed On Location In Springfield"

The zit faced teen then comes out with a broom. First he gets gum stuck to it. He then says "Assistant manager isn't all it's cracked up to be. Four years of film school for this?"

The movie ends with the Shush lady.

The guest voices in the movie are Green Day (Billie Joe Armstrong,  Mike Dimt and Tre Cool), Albert Books ( listed as A Brooks) as the voice of Russ Cargill, Tom Hanks as himself and Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony. 

The opening sequence of the movie including the Itchy and Scratchy short is in 16:9 ratio, the current tv size, later it widens out to the wide screen 2.40:1 ratio.

Lake Springfield is first mentioned in the episode Homer Loves Ned and the sign says Formerly Cess Hole 17 A. The first mutant creature from the lake was Blinky, the Three Eyed Fish in the episode Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes On Every Fish.

Itchy And Scratchy. The moon landing sequence is based on the original Apollo 11 landing. Also Sprach Zarathustra plays, the song is best known from the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey.  When Scratchy touches down on the moon surface the song changes to The Simpsons theme. During the parade someone hold up an Itchy/Hillary 'O8 sign. (Barack Obama would win the election that year).  The various scenes of Itchy trying to figure out what to do are a spoof on John F. Kennedy and the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962.

The Washingtoon Post headline: Mouse Hero Returns, Did Everything To Save Cat / A Widow Mourns 

Nuclear Missile Strike options: First Strike / Retaliation / "Accidental" Launch

Self Aware Jokes: Homer says he can't believe he's paying for something he gets for free on TV. 

The Duff blimp flies by the Green Day concert with a scroll that reads Binge Responsibly. 

Green Day plays Nearer My God To Thee. This is a spoof on the movie Titanic and reports that people in the lifeboats could hear the actual musicians on the ship playing just before it went down.

First Church Of Springfield "Thou Shalt Turn Off Thy Cell Phones. Mrs. Glick is playing American Idiot: Funeral Version in Adagio

Bart has a Gameboy in church. The system was manufactured from 1989 through 2003.

The light shining on Grandpa Simpson in church just before he has his vision is a spoof on Jake Elwood having his vision in The Blues Brother. Abe runs on the floor like Curly from The Three Stooges.

Homer's Chores: Go To Church / Take Out Hornet's Nest ( he knocks it down, puts it in Ned's mailbox, shakes it up and then puts up the flag) / Fix Sink Hole (he puts Maggie's sand box over it which will come back later) / Reshingle roof

Grandpa reads Oatmeal Enthusiast. 

Screen crawl: Watch "Are You Smarter Than A Celebrity?"-Wednesdays on Fox. That's Right, We Even Advertise Shows During Movies Now.

When Bart complains that Homer didn't bring him pants Homer says "Who am I? Tommy Bahama". This is a clothing store that specializes in beach wear.

Krusty is selling a new pork sandwich, The Clogger. "If you can find a greaser sandwich, you're in Mexico!"

When Homer envisions dancing around with the pig You Baby (Nobody But You) by The Turtles plays. 

Springfield Town Hall banner: Lisa Simpson Presents: An Irritating Truth. This is a spoof on the movie An Inconvenient Truth.

Springfield Shopper headline: Springfield Cleans Up Act, Pushy Kid Nags Town (with a photo of Lisa)

The four states that border Springfield, Ohio / Nevada / Maine / Kentucky. This is part of a long running joke about where is Springfield?

One of the best gags is when the dome is dropped on Springfield the bar crowd rushes to church and the church crowd rushes to the bar. 

When they're sealed in Homer shouts "D'oh....OME!"

Channel 6 news calls the crisis Trappuccino. 

The house getting sucked into the sink hole is a spoof on the house getting sucked into the ghost vortex in Poltergeist.

In the episode 24 Minutes Bart is listed as two months sober. Well he gets drunk in this movie. 

When Homer gets a $1000 from the Alaska border guard this is a spoof on the Permanent Fund, money paid to Alaskans every year from the oil funds, basically a bribe to look the other way at the environmental damage.

When Homer and Marge "snuggle" in Alaska the animals show up to undress them, a spoof on Disney films. However when Marge and Homer "get nasty" the animals watch on in shock. 

Diaper Genie staring Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is a spoof on the name of the diaper pail and the Mandela Effect story about Sinbad making a movie called Shazam. 

When Homer plays Grand Theft Walrus there is a dancing penguin, this is a spoof on the movie Happy Feet.

On the Simpson wedding video when Marge and Homer are dancing Close To You by the Carpenters plays.

The Inuit Shaman saving Homer from the bear is a spoof on Obi Wan saving Luke from the Sand People in the original Star Wars.

On the train Bart pops up wearing a bra on his head and says he's the mascot of an evil corporation. 12 years later The Simpsons were acquired by Disney as part of their purchase of 21st Century Fox. 

Marge says it's not like the government is listening to everyone's conversations. 5 years later Edward Snowden would expose a vast spying program by the NSA, another Simpson prediction. 

Conversations overheard by the NSA: About your meat lovers pizza, I like meat but I don't know if I'm ready to love again. You hang up first....She hung up on me.

Signs Homer uses to stall the EPA: Sop, Yeald, One Vey. 

The EPA countdown bomb sounds like the clock in the show 24.

Homer's to do list: Knock out guard / Climb through hole / Save town / Return doorman's uniform by 5

First Church Of Springfield sign, We Told You So.

When Bart and Homer go over Springfield Gorge the crashed ambulance from the episode Bart The Daredevil is still there. 

The Simpsons are happy that Maggie is saying her first word, however she actually said her first word in the Tracy Ullman shorts and then again in the episode Lisa's First Word.

Well, I've done the movie. Now it's back to the series. I only have 17 more years, so far, to go. I'm pretty much at the halfway point so there's that.

 The Simpsons 396-400

The Boys Of Bummer

This episode premiered on April 29th, 2007. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpson repeat (Jazzy And The Pussycats). It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The Amazing Race and Dateline NBC. 

The title comes from the 1972 book The Boys Of Summer.

The couch gag is a repeat of the game of musical chairs.

Bart is in a little league game. A player on the other team his a high fly and Bart shoves Milhouse out of the way to catch it. He lets the fame go to his head but Ned warns him about vanity. Homer gets tired of shopping with Marge but all the Husband Chairs are occupied so he lays down in the bedding department and falls asleep. When he gets caught he says the bed is the best he ever slept in and the YaaHoo Texan buys 5, the store manager hires Homer on the spot. Lisa complains about people loving baseball. The Shelbyville team hits an eazy pop fly but Bart drops the ball and then fumbles it, the team loses the game and Bart becomes the villain. Bart, Dolf and Kerney sing "Bart stinks Yeah Yeah" to the tune of Love Stinks by J. Geils Band, Bart's favorite song. Lisa takes Bart to meet George LaBoot, a former baseball player who dropped the winning ball of the 1943 World Series, and then threw it into the stands and hit Eleanore Roosevelt. However the player recognizes Bart, tells him off and the whole convention boos him. Homer sells the Lovejoy's a mattress but it fails to rekindle their love life. When Homer is writing them a check they start making out on the Simpson's mattress and trade it for their new one, that night Homer and Marge can't snuggle. Someone has covered the town with graffiti "I hate Bart Simpson" including a passed out Barney. It turns out Bart is the one doing it. Bart falls off the water tower and LaBoot fails to catch him, he winds up in the hospital. A crowd shows up at the hospital to heckle Bart, Marge tells them off. Moe says it's not like they can just play the game over, giving Lisa an idea. Homer and Marge break into the Lovejoy's to steal back their mattress however they start to fool around and get caught. Lovejoy brings up the story of King Solomon and they cut the mattress in half, diagonally. Homer and Marge "snuggle" on the mattress behind a billboard. During the replay of the game Milhouse almost tells Bart the truth, that they aren't replaying the game due to a non regulation home plate brush but to make him feel better about himself. They have to keep coming up with reasons why they keep rehitting the ball including Moe streaking. At one point Bart almost catches the ball but Homer comes rushing over and leans over the wall to catch it. After several hours Bart finally catches it and they all leave. 60 years later Bart and Milhouse are in the retirement home and Milhouse tells him the truth, however he then claims that he lied. A ghost Homer and Marge are watching. 

Springfield Little League Park. Warning: Your Child Is Not As Good As You Think He Is

The scoreboard Visitors 3 / The Isotots 5 / Inning 9 / Ball 1/ Strike 1 / Out 2

Springfield Shopper sports section headline: SHAME! (with a photo of Bart chasing the ball) / business section: Boy's Error Weakens Dollar (photo of Bart and graph of dollar going down)

Self Aware Joke: when Marge asks Homer doesn't he have to get to his job as a mattress salesman he says "Oh yeah, let's see where that goes".

Shelbyville Grand Wailea Hotel. Baseball Card Show Today- See How Your Childhood Heroes Have Aged. / Meet Your Favorite Greedy Agent / Wack -A- Mascot 

Joe LaBoot lost the 1943 World Series in game 7 however the real World Series that year only went 5 games with the Yankees beating the Cardinals 4-1.

Lenny has written a series of mystery novels "The Murderer Did It". His last name is Leonard, have they ever mentioned that before? If not, this is the episode where we learn Lenny's last name.

Springfield: The Meanest City in America!

During the replaying of the game Bart is hit by a line drive, spins around and his clothes come flying off. This is a spoof on Charlie Brown. 

Eh, not the best episode. 

Crooks And Ladder

This episode premiered on May 6th, 2007. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons rerun (Moe'n'a Lisa). It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, The Amazing Race and Deal Or No Deal. 

The title comes from the name of fire departments Hook and Ladder

The chalkboard gag is "I Will Not Look Up What The Teacher Makes" and the couch gag is a repeat of the car wash.

Marge is reading an article about the dangers of letting your kid be addicted to a pacifier, Maggie spells out No FUTURE with the blocks. Marge throws out Maggie's pacifier, she starts to destroy the house with a nerf gun. Lisa complains about the magazine. Marge sends Homer to get a new pacifier but she hates them all and starts crying uncontrollably.  SLH gives her a chew toy but the squeaking drives Homer crazy. Homer sees a commercial for Nappien, a sleeping pill. The first night he sleep eats everything in the house. The second night he breaks into the Rock 'N' Roll Wax Museum and reorganizes the displays. Bart decides to use Homer so they pick up Milhouse. They get Homer into a street fight, ride him down a grassy slope, dress him up as a woman and send him into Moes. Homer wakes up while driving and crashes into the fire department, he skids in chili, goes through the pole and sets off the alarm. When the firemen slide down they all crash into the Dalmatian cage and wind up in the hospital. Homer, Apu, Moe and Skinner decide to volunteer. Lenny and Carl show up late and get turned away. The fire department saves Luigi's and he pays them in food. When they save Renier Wolfcastle he gives them film jackets. They save Burns but he doesn't give them anything, instead he insults them for being poor. Moe blows an ember into Burns' priceless treasure room and they all steal stuff. They start taking stuff from everywhere they save. Skinner starts having second thoughts so they threaten him. The family catches Homer in the act of stealing from fire victims and Marge tells him off. Moe gets trapped under a solid gold grandfather clock so Homer save hims and Apu. Homer becomes a hero. Homer sends his stolen segways to skid row. 

Marge reads Smothering Mother Magazine. The cover has a crazy woman with a gun holding a baby.  Are bees building hives in your diaper genie? / The Deadly Truth about Oxygen / Is Your Baby a Suckaholic? "Experts see new links between pacifier overuse and low achievement" (a photo of three homeless guys gathered around a burning trash can with pacifiers in their mouths)

Sheep in the Nappien commercial: Mortgage / Car Problems / Secret Other Family / Strange Lump. The commercial is a spoof on the Serta mattress commercial. 

Someone lined up all the family's video tapes as dominos. When Bart pushes them over they form the image of Homer with Matt Groening signed underneath (self aware joke). The first video tape is C.H.U.Ds which Homer references in the episode The City Of New York vs. Homer.

Secret dirty joke: Homer's domino's knee pad is Dominex. 

Nappien, may cause dry mouth, mood swings and nighttime kookiness. 

During the montage of Homer's nighttime activities Frankenstein by Edgar Winters Group plays. 

Reiner Wolfcastle movies: Total Explosion / Father Of The Presi-Bot / I Shoot Your Face / I Shoot Your Face Again / Frankenberry The Movie 2: The Frankenberry Wears Prada (A spoof on the Frankenberry cereal)

The Sharper Mark-Up. A spoof on Sharper Image

Sad Eyes by Robert John plays while the kids give Homer their disappointed look.

This was an odd episode, it went from Maggie's pacifier to Homer on drugs to thieving firemen, and then just ended. 

Stop! Or My Dog Will Shoot!

This episode premiered on May 13th, 2007. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons rerun (Ice Cream Of Margie). It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, Survivor and the NBC Sunday Night Movie (Shrek)

The title is based on the 1992 film Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!

The chalkboard gag is "Pearls are not oyster barf" and the couch gag is the family runs in and sits on the couch, then another Simpsons family runs in and so on until the house is overflowing. Homer says "Hey, don't shove!"

Homer is excited to go to Oktoberfest and even brought two beer steins, however it turns out to be Harvest Fest, an alcohol free event. Marge admires the winning Horn A Plenty but it turns out the guy used a styrofoam filler and is drug behind the barn. Bart points out the corn maze to Homer but he wants to leave, and accidentally leads the family into the maze. Marge suggests splitting up, Homer thinks she wants a divorce. Homer freaks out and runs off, getting even more lost. He tries to walk through the corn but discovers it is surrounded by an electric fence. Lisa uses Tremaux's algorithm to find their way out, but Homer is still lost inside. They send SLH to find Homer. When the police see how well SLH does they recruit him. SLH's first day on the job they have to go to Cletus's and gets shot. The second call is Snake selling steroids to the bullies. SLH catches him but the judge lets him go when SLH messes up the police report. Bart scares SLH and bites him so they tie him up in the backyard. They decide to send him home with Lou. Bart wants a snake to replace SLH. At Show And Tell Bart's snake eats Martin's rabbit and then escapes into the school. The police bring SLH to find the snake but instead he finds the frisbee in Bart's locker. The snake gets into the chemistry lab (in a grade school) and knocks over a beaker of Ethanol and Nitric Acid. When the building starts filling up with toxic gas the snake flees. SLH runs back inside to save Bart. Both the snake and SLH show up to save Bart but he goes with SLH, who quits the police force. Willie takes the snake.

Stephen Hawking and Rudy Giuliani do their own voices in this episode. Giuliani had announced he was running for President in 2007 so his part was cut out of the original broadcast and replaced in syndication after the 2008 election. He is currently awaiting trial in the Arizona Election Interference case.

The A-Maize-Ing Maize Maze. "Betcha Can't Solve Our Maze!"

What Lisa sees while being tossed into the air in the corn maze. Corn / More Corn / Another kid being thrown into the air looking for the way out / Witches Coven / Seattle Space Needle / Amateur production of You Can't Take It With You 

Freak On A Leash by Korn plays while SLH tries to find Homer. 

When SLH goes to the Police Canine Academy the theme from the 1984 film Police Academy plays. During the training they play the music from Patton and the 1975 TV series SWAT.

When Bart imagines SLH as a police dog he is attacked by Pinhead from Hellraiser, Jason from Halloween and a big math book. SLH shows up as RoboCop from the 1987 movie. 

The police hang out in a bar called The Mug Shot.

When they buy the snake the pet shop gives the family a pamphlet "Your Weird New Pet"

Martin trains his rabbit to hop to Mussorgsky's Pictures At An Exhibition. 

Alarms at the school: Fire / Bomb / Groundskeeper Drunk / Escaped Pet.

While trying to swallow the computer Clippy The Paper Clip pops up and says "You Look Like You're Trying To Eat Me. Need Some Help? Clippy was available on computers from 1997 to 2004.

At the end Willie says "That'll do snake, that'll do". This is a spoof on the 1983 film Babe.

24 Minutes

This episode premiered on May 20th 2007. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by the next Simpsons episode. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, The CBS Sunday Night Movie (Million Dollar Baby) and The NBC Sunday Night Movie (National Treasure). 

The title and plot are  references to the TV show 24, which was still airing at this time.

Since the show is themed on 24 there is no chalkboard or couch gag.

"Previously on The Simpsons" Skinner takes the smart kids to the school's new addition, the CTU (Counter Truancy Unit).  Security footage shows the bullies are missing from class. At the nuclear power plant the hazmat team is called in to deal with Homer's forgotten and overgrown yogurt.  Bart uses ketchup and mustard to create a graffiti image of Skinner saying "Put Me On Your Weiner!" Bart uses the mustard and ketchup to slide on in order to escape but crashes into the detention room. Marge finds a flier for the Springfield Elementary Bake Sale on Friday at 3 PM in Bart's shorts and it's 2:33.  At this point the Created By and Developed By titles pop up (normally these run after the couch gag) "The following takes place between 2:34 P.M. and 3:04 P.M." Homer tries to return his rancid yogurt to the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu lets Homer take any yogurt he wants as long as he gets rid of the rancid one, meanwhile the bullies take it to play a prank. Skinner sees the bullies on the store monitor and orders Milhouse to bring them in until Lisa spots them taking the yogurt, Milhouse is ordered to just monitor them. He is spying on the bullies when Homer rats him out and they throw him and Homer into the dumpster and then push it down a hill. Marge discovers she is all out of raisins and can't make her famous raisin sponge cake so she rushes to the store. Lisa needs to recruit Bart to find out what the bullies are up to, he doesn't want to do it but since the bake sale is coming up they have no choice. Bart steals Skinner's car to track down the bullies. A four way split screen shows the hamster the bullies used to test their stink bomb / Bart driving Skinner's car with his butt / Marge fighting Helen Lovejoy for the last box of raisins / Homer rolling down the street in the dumpster. The dumpster ends up in the middle of the railroad tracks but gets knocked out of the way by Otto, who is doing an air guitar and doesn't see the oncoming train. Marge gets her raisins while Lovejoy his hauled off on a stretcher, the bullies test the stink bomb on Ralph, he passes out. Bart finds out about the stink bomb. Martin turns out to be a double agent and tips off Jimbo. Bart sneaks into Jimbo's house but the bullies went out the basement door. Bart tries to call the school but gets Jack Bauer by mistake and does a phone prank (Ahmed Adoody). Marge puts her cake in at 1200 degrees and burns it, but coats it in pink frosting. The dumpster finally crashes into Moes so Homer goes in for a beer however Moe is drilling his own tooth so he and Milhouse hop back into the dumpster and head to the bake sale. Lisa wants to call off the bake sale but Chalmers shows up so Skinner decides to hold the sale, Martin searches the hall cameras and sees the bomb but covers it up. Maggie causes Marge to drop her cake but she just picks the bits out and takes it to the sale. The bullies plan to set off the bomb in the janitor's closet but Willie finds them and sets off the fire alarm. Bart catches Nelson not beating up Martin so he tortures him until he confesses. Bart is about to tip off Lisa but Martin knocks him out with a french horn. It turns out the the bullies were holding Martin's ant farm hostage, the bullies set the bomb for three minutes. In order to short out the ventilation fan Skinner releases the valve for the hotdog water retention valve and floods the room, even though Willie and Bart are still tied up. Martin thinks about what he has done, puts on his monitor sash, climbs on a chair and jumps off, left hanging. Cut to a wide shot and he's hanging by his underwear from the coat pegs. Bart manages to swim down and is seen through a window in the gym, Marge shatters the glass with her cake. Lisa gets hold of the bomb and shuts it off with one second left. Everyone is celebrating when Jack Bauer shows up, he congratulates Lisa and then arrests Bart for his prank phone call. A nuclear explosion goes off in the background but it's just Shelbyville, everyone breathes a sigh of relief. 

Kiefer Sutherland does the voice of his character Jack Bauer and Mary Lynn Rajskub does the voice of her character Chloe O'Brian from the show 24.

The members of the CTU, Skinner (Principal, Mama's Boy) / Lisa (Head Hall Monitor, Loves Ponies Hates Phonies) / Martin (Dink) / Database (Dingus) / Milhouse (Dork). Former agents Sherri / Terri / Wendell

On the CTU monitors: Willie and Ms Hoover making out / Nelson giving Mr. Largo a wedgie / Ralph picking his nose and getting hit with a dodgeball.

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Available For Weddings

Homer Simpson (ATM User, Devoted Father Of Two) 

Bart Simpson (Two Months Sober)

Marge Simpson (Unemployed)

Stuff Marge finds in Bart's shorts: Switchblade / Voodoo doll of Homer / House of Blues matchbook from Anaheim (a Downtown Disneyland reference)

Big Chief Rotting Cheeks chewing tobacco 

Springfield Shopper headlines: Mayor's Breath Still Problem (another Simpsons prediction about Trump) / Corn Less Popular / Bake Sale Today

Jimbo's ringtone is the theme from the 1970 tv show The Odd Couple.

Moe is reading Be Your Own Dentist. 

Stuff in the school ventilation pipe: 1950's History books (Too Racist) / 1990's History Books (Not racist enough) / Uter in a giant spider web / Miss Hover passed out with SLH (whiskey bottle nearby) 

You Kent Always Say What You Want

This episode premiered on May 20th 2007. The lead in show was the previous episode of the Simpsons, (above) and ran opposite the same shows.

The title is a reference to the Rolling Stones song You Can't Always Get What You Want.

Instead of a chalkboard and couch gag opening the show pays tribute to the 20th anniversary of The Simpsons (the characters premiered on the Tracy Ullman show on April 19th in 1987. 20 Years Ago... The Tracy Ullman short of Homer trying to get a photo of the family runs. 

Marge is playing Pictionary with Maggie against Patty and Selma, Marge keeps guessing what Maggie is scribbling on the paper. Maggie sees that it's a quarter to three and draws Bart and Lisa getting home from school but Marge's car won't start so she has to run home because they have dentist appointments. Homer lies to the technician about flossing and then starts screaming, scaring everyone in the lobby. Skinner is at the dentist and Bart sneaks in to mess with his teeth. Homer takes the family out for ice cream and buys the 1,000,000th cone at Butterfat's ice cream parlor. Homer is the guest on Smartline, he compares buying the cone to the first kill in war. When he knocks Kent's coffee cup over Brockman curses live on the air. Marge misses it and asks the kids which word it was so Bart draws it on his Etch-A-Sketch and then can't get it to shake out. Kent apologizes but then finds out nobody watches the show and he got away with it.  Lisa complains. Bart says only losers sit around watching shows to complain about them, cut to Ned monitoring the TV, the only two videos not in his naughty pile are The 700 Club and Test Pattern (Non Indian). He sees the Brockman swear and goes to Online Christian Soldiers (a spoof of the song Onward Christian Soldiers) and reports his finding. The FCC launches an investigation into Brockman and he's demoted to Weekend Weatherman (Anie Pye writes "Kent Stinks" with a picture on the weather map before taking over the news desk). The FCC fines Channel 6 $10 million. Krusty has to cut the voice actors from Itchy and Scratchy so Krusty narrates it himself. Scratchy gets blown up by a dynamite cat and then Itchy juggles his various parts. Lindsey Naegle fires Kent. He gets caught in the rain and Nelson rides by to laugh at him. Brockman moves on to the Simpson's couch. Lisa gets mad at Fox News so she sets up Kent on a webcam where he exposes the media for being in bed with the Republican party. Channel 6 offers Kent a huge pay raise if he'll come back and stop running his YouTube channel, he accepts. Homer tells Lisa he knows Fox's deepest secret however there is a voice over when he tells her. He turns to the camera to tell the audience and they cut to the Fox logo. Homer shows up on the white screen to whisper his secret and they cut to the Shush lady. 

Ludacris does his own voice.

Homer's AAA card: The American Applesauce Association 429 004 86153624 6 4 Member since 1978. 

When Marge is running home to meet Lisa and Bart Way Out There by Carter Burwell plays, the scene is a spoof on the chase scene from Raising Arizona. Marge runs past Mrs. Krabappal, Ned, she hits CBG knocking over his box of comic books (Zoidzilla / Zebra Girl / Zillionare), through the Kwik-E-Mart where she has to dodge all of Apu's children, he hands her a Squishee, she runs into Snake who is trying to get away from Wiggum, she almost gets hit by a truck driven by Moleman but manages to duck underneath, through Quimby's yard (he's playing pool volleyball with a group of women, she falls down a manhole (the sewer is full of rats, alligators and a drunk Barney), through a Chinese parade (a lot of stereotypical characters in this one), and then head on into the St. Patrick's Day parade (the Leprechaun from Treehouse Of Horror XII is in the parade),  the Springfield dog park (Laddie from The Canine Mutiny is in the park along with Marmaduke). Helen Lovejoy tries to tell Marge some gossip but she doesn't have time and jumps through the front window just before the kids get home. 

St. Patrick's Day parade banner "How's My Marching? Call 1800 KL5 9595. 

Springfield Dental Complex "No Matter How You Brush, You're Doing It Wrong"

The U.S. Dental Association Presents: Menace Tooth Society, a rap video about proper dental hygiene. Luda-Crest shows up to save the teeth from street gangsters.

Self aware joke, Bart makes a comment about the losers that spend the whole day watching TV just to complain about the shows. Hey, I'm doing that.

While Kent is packing up his office the Theme Song from Midnight Cowboy plays. Pictures of Kent with the Ayatollah, dancing on the Berlin Wall, Interviewing R4-D4 from Star Wars

Homer has been watching Fox News and calls Kent part of the "Liberal Media", he then claims Mexican Gays sneak into the country to unplug brain dead ladies. I guess some things haven't changed over the years. 

The Simpsons Wall Of Casual Acquaintances Who Came. To Stay for A While: Artie Ziff (The Ziff Who Came to Dinner) / Apu (Homer And Apu) / Krusty (The Last Temptation Of Krust) / Willie (My Fair Laddy) / Nelson (Sleeping With The Enemy) / Sideshow Bob (The Great Louse Detective) / Otto (The Otto Show) / Kang / Gil (Kill Gil, Volumes I and II) / Stampy (Bart Gets An Elephant. Missing from the wall are Larry Burns (Burns, Baby Burns) and Chester J. Lampwick (The Day The Violence Died)

Fox's new reality show Landing Strip, about a group of strippers trying to run an airline. Lisa changes the channel where Birch Barlow is on Fox News. He's complaining about NASA aborting launches. Barlow first appeared in the episode Sideshow Bob Roberts.

Self Aware Joke, Lisa points out that Fox Entertainment runs trash shows while Fox News runs outrageously sexy shows. Kent Brockam claims Fox is funneling money through the FCC via fines that then end up in the Republican party. When Homer is about to expose Fox's biggest secret to Lisa there is a voiceover that says "programming shows that the whole family can enjoy". 

The Simpsons predicted the political channels on YouTube. 

This episode was originally titled The Kent State Massacre but was changed after the Virginia Tech shooting in April of 2007.

To quote Homer Simpson "Woo Hoo!" I've made it through 400 episode and 20 years. (although I have 17, so far, years to go) Up next, The Simpson Movie, I'm actually looking forward to it. So my next post will just be about that. Then we'll return to the regular episode. Wish me luck. 

The Simpsons 391-395

Springfield Up

This episode premiered on February 18th 2007. The lead in show was a Simpsons rerun (The Haw Hawed Couple) and was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 60 Minutes and Grease, You're The One That I Want.

The title comes from the 1964 documentary series Up. When this show aired the series was on it's 7th film, 49 Up.

The couch gag is a repeat of the cockroach family.

Declan Desmond has returned to Springfield. 32 years earlier he had interviews a group of schoolchildren and now he is doing a follow up in his documentary Growing Up Springfield. There are a series of photos of Moe, ugly child, teen mugshot, hip bartender, middle aged bartender, ugly bartender. 

32 Year Ago. The first kid Declan interviews is Lenny, the only thing he's looking forward to his dinosaur cake, Declan decides to leave him out for the rest of the series. Homer drops a coin in a well and wishes to be richer than everybody else and they all laugh at him.

The second kid is Clancy, at 8 he plays cops and robbers, as the cop. At 16 he's the hall monitor. Snake is known as "Detention Bird" instead of "Prison Bird". At 24 Wiggum's goes to the police academy, while giving the commandant a back rub with his gun he shoots the documentary cameraman. At 32 Wiggum is on the Springfield police, as the masseuse, he offers a guaranteed 8:30 AM massage to the mayor if he's chief of police. In the modern world Lou makes fun of Wiggums pants but Clancy doesn't have a comeback.

Homer at 8, he imagines he'll be rich with a huge mansion and a pinball machine with unlimited quarters. At 24 Homer is selling manure out of his broken down car and is an actor paid to ask questions in infomercials. He says he'll never let a couple of rugrats tie him down, cut to 8 years later with Bart and Lisa. At 40 Homer is living in a mansion. Rewind 8 years and Homer is working as part of a mariachi band in a Mexican restaurant. He gets rich off a pen that dispenses condiments. Declan says he can't embarrass Homer any further then the screen says "Barley Literate, Smells Like Feet"

The next kid is John (Frink). At age 8 he says he wants to grow up to be a rocket scientist. He is bullied by Fat Tony. Forward to the modern world and he's cured Frink's Disease, discovered Frinkconium and invented the 8 Month After Pill, he has now invented the Chrono-Trike to time travel back and convince himself to go into a different line of work so he can talk to a girl. He goes back to when he was 8 but gets hit by two cars and Carl takes off in his time machine. 

The next kid is Elanor, at age 8 she wants to be a doctor and a lawyer. At age 24 she had graduated from both Yale Law and Medical school.  Jump another 8 years and she's a chain smoking alcoholic with a cat. In the modern world she's the cat lady. 

Marge at age 8, she's a shutterbug and gets a picture of Moe accidentally kissing CBG. At 16 she's the school newspaper photographer. At 24 Marge is working at the mall photographer stand and supporting Homer while he gets his band together. A normal looking guy is getting a photo for his boating license, Psych, you thought it was the Captain but it's really Disco Stu and when Marge turns on disco music it changes his life.

In the middle of the modern day interview with Marge, Mr. Burns returns to his summer home to discover the Simpsons are pretending to be rich. Homer offers to give Burns Bart to do with what he wants. Mr. Smithers has been tied up and stuffed into a grandfather clock. Mr Burns wants release the hounds but they are at the winter house so Smithers has to go pick them up. Cut to 90 minutes later and Burns is telling stores of his life, Smithers shows up and the hounds are released. Declan chases Homer all over town to try to get him to talk. As he's about to confront Homer at home Lenny shows up to do his modern segment but Declan isn't interested in watching Lenny fill out check with the butterflies on them. Homer confesses that he didn't want to look like a loser, Declan plans to cut but Marge chews him out. Declan goes to Moe's to say he has developed an affection for the Simpsons and Moe points out that Homer has a great life. Declan gets an idea. Declan shows footage of the various people saying how much they like Homer. Marge asks Homer to not kill Declan, he says he wasn't planning on it when a variety of knives fall out of his clothes. Homer decides to use Declan's sound board to create a song. An 8 year old, black and white, Carl pops up in the background on the time machine but then disappears again. Declan and Homer sing Pitch Fork Lady. The end. 

Eric Idle returns as the voice of Declan Desmond.

Frink's Chrono-Trike is based on the time machine from the 1960 movie.

The Sentinel headline (Springfield High newspaper): Cheerleader Flung Into Next County / Boy Brings Enough For Everyone / Typing Class Tragedy (photo of the gym filled with coffins)

Marge plays Disco Inferno while working as a mall photographer.

Mr. Burns has Bull Moose Elbow Salve with a picture of Teddy Roosevelt on the label. 

When Mr. Burns tears off the portrait of the Simpsons in his summer house underneath is a painting of him in Andrew Wyeth's Christina's World. 

Homer is reading Pat Summerall's Smut Yuks.

Declan is working on a documentary Ain't No Mountain: A Blind Man Climbs Everest.

Yokel Chords

This episode premiered on March 4th 2007. The lead in show was The War At Home and it was followed by The Winner (A short lived sitcom about a man remembering his life in 1994). It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, The Amazing Race and Grease, You're The One That I Want.

The title comes from the term Yokels meaning rural people and Vocal Cords.

The couch gag is a repeat of the vending machine.

Marge dreams about reading a James Patterson book "Kiss The Girls" while sitting on a tropical beach. Patterson shows up and asks her to run away with him. Homer tells Marge that he took care of the morning routine, but he gave Lisa a drawing of a sandwich and gave Bart Grandpa's pills. Cut to the senior bus with Abe behind the wheel and driving crazy. To get a lunch Bart comes up with the story of Dark Stanley DeGroot. Bart says Stanley was a cook at the school and the kids make fun of him for flunking out of MIT. He goes nuts and kills the children to make soup. The story spreads around school and grows. Bart is telling the story in the cafeteria, the lights go out and when the come back on he's taken spaghetti and make it looks like his brains. All the kids run out so he eats their lunches. Skinner is helping Chalmers carry his collection of antique perfume bottles and the kids smash them. Willie rounds up the kids and hauls them back to school. Chalmers discovers that the Spuckler children don't go to school, Skinner points out that if the hillbilly kids will lower the overall testing scores. Lisa catches them and complains. Skinner offers to let Lisa be the Spuckler's tutor. After spreading the story Bart has to go to a psychiatrist, he tells her that he's been through the whole racket and she's wasting her time, she offers him the opportunity to play Death Kill City II: Death Kill Stories, rated Bad For Everyone. She plays Mad Libs with Bart as a word association, Bart starts talking about Homer. Lisa takes the kids downtown to learn and they do a version of Some Of My Favorite Things. Krusty sees the kids singing and wants to recruit them. Just as Bart is making progress however the school only paid for 5 sessions so he's done. Krusty offers to hire the kids and signs a contract with Cletus but he becomes a cruel taskmaster. The Spuckler kids do a version of 16 Going On 17. Lisa complains about them being exploited. Bart is depressed to see the psychiatrist with Milhouse. Cletus is blowing the kids money pimping himself out. Bart starts talking to an empty chair so Marge goes to see Dr. Swanson and pays for her to see Bart. Bart thinks he acts out for attention and decides he doesn't need to go back to the doctor. The psychiatrist goes to another psychiatrist after Bart leave her,  he tells her that perhaps she is using Bart to replace the son who was killed by Dark Stanley. Krusty is going to take the kids on a bus tour but Brandeen shows up in a military helicopter, she's serving in Iraq. It turns out that Cletus isn't the father to most of the children. 

Talk about an all star guest lineup, Meg Ryan does the voice of Dr. Swanson, Peter Bogdanovic does a second psychiatrist. Andy Dick, James Patterson and Stephen Sondheim do their own voices.

The animation of Dark Stanley is based on the works of Edward Gorey, the song is Suite Punta del Este and best known from the movie The 12 Monkeys. 

When Wilie rounds up the kids the theme from the 1965 movie The Hallelujah Trail plays.

When Skinner and Chalmers are trying to figure out a way to stop Lisa from spreading the story about the Spuckler children they sing a version of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria from Sound Of Music.

The Daily Fourth Grader headline: Skinner To Hicks: "Drop Dead"

Lisa does a spoof on the opening scene from Sound Of Music while singing a version of The Hills Are Alive.

Lisa takes the kids to see the 1929 film Un Chein Andalou. 

Self Aware Joke, Bart says he has a dream that the whole family is just cartoon characters and their success lead to the creation of some crazy propaganda network called Fox News.

Psychiatric Quarterly: Effectiveness of Clozapine versus Olanzapine and Risperdone in Patients with Chronic Schizophrenia. 

Krusty's No Collar Comedy Tour. This is a spoof on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. The comedians on the tour are Butt-Crack Barry / Merle Values / Reverend Racist / Andy Dick. 

Easter Egg Background, the studio is across from the Box Factory. This is a call back to the episode Bart Gets Famous. 

When Brandeen accepts Cletus's apology he says "Baby, you're the greatest". This was a line from the TV show The Honeymooners. The scene cuts to the moon rising with Cletus's face on it and he says "How sweet it is" which was Jackie Gleason's catch phrase.

Rome-Old and Juli-Eh

This episode premiered on March 11th, 2007. The lead in show was NASCAR racing and it was followed by The Winner. It ran opposite the regular programs.

The title comes from the Shakespeare play Romeo and Juliet

The couch gag is a repeat of the Bonanza map.

Homer has a surprise for the family so he blindfolds them, however the surprise is in the basement and they fall down the stairs. Homer has remodeled the basement into a family game room, his plan to pay for it all is to declare bankruptcy, however they changed the law and now he has a financial officer to oversee his debts. In order to save money Homer removes Abe from the nursing home, he moves into the basement. Ned gets an order of free shipping boxes and gives Bart the number for ordering. Grandpa has filled the fridge with his pills. Homer and Marge go out so they call Selma to watch Grandpa while he watches the kids. They drink wine and end up making out but get caught by Homer and Marge. Bart and Lisa build a box fort in the back yard. Patty comes up with a plan to break up Able and Selma. The A.S.S. driver shows up to demand the boxes back but the kids refuse to leave their fort. Patty pretends to be Selma and Homer pretends to be a bullfighter. Selma shows up and catches them, Abe and Selma get mad at them so he proposes and she accepts. Lisa complains about throwing rice at weddings, cut to several birds exploding, Homer tries to get Selma to eat some. Selma has to take a promotion and work longer hours to pay for a house for her and Able. Lisa and Bart get attacked by the A.S.S. drivers. Nelson shows up to join in the fight, after they win the battle they destroy the fort with a hose. Abe destroys the house so Selma decides that they need to split up. Homer and Marge role-play with his "Senior Sexy" costume but Homer runs out of the room and then comes back demanding to know where the other man is.

Homer's remodeled basement, shag carpet. Triangle Wars, Duff Beer Sign, Air Hockey, Glass top gas pump, Juke Box, Model train that runs around the top of the wall, ping pong table, football poster, dart board, Chevy Chase Foul Play pinball machine, Football helmet light. Beanbag chairs. 

The 1978 movie Foul Play was Chevy Chase's first post SNL starring role.

Marge spends $500 a month on a gambling website. In the episode $pringfield we learn she's a gambling addict.

Granpa's posters for his basement room: Keep Cool With Coolidge / Lillian Gish in "Broken Blossoms" This was a real 1919 movie btw.

A.S.S. American Shipping Service. Not Affiliated With The Human Ass. The shipping company number is 1-800-Ass-Ship. This is a real phone number for a car shipping company.

Is She Really Going Out With Him by Joe Jackson plays over the montage of Abe and Selma dating.

Selma and Abe look at a poster of Woody Allen's 1979 movie Manhattan.

Mall Stores: Eye Carumba / Shoelaces Plus / Unwanted Candles / Affordable Sportables / Springfield Book Worm (the O looks like ringworm) / 1 Photo

When Patty and Homer are mentally preparing to make out he pictures Marge and she pictures Mrs. Krabappal in the photo from the episode Bart The Lover.

Church banner: Congratulations Selma and Bob Lionel Troy Stu Bob Abe

Abe worked at Pan Am and plans to go back there. They went out of business in 1991.

The cardboard fight is a spoof on Lord Of The Rings, Ode To Joy plays during the attack. There is also a dragon that ends up stabbed with a cardboard tube. 

Abe has a VHS of the 1949 film The Sands Of Iwo Jima

In the episode Gump Roast they had future episodes including Grandpa marrying both Patty and Selma.

Homerazzi

This episode premiered on March 25th 2007. The lead in show was The War At Home and was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, 60 Minutes and Grease You're The One That I Want.

The title comes from the term paparazzi which is used to describe celebrity photographers. 

The chalkboard gag is "Global Warming Did Not Eat My Homework" and the couch gag is Homer starts out as a single cell and then goes through division. He turns into a jellyfish Homer, then a regular fish, an octopus Burns tries to catch him, he ends up on the land where he adapts and turns into a lizard, he eats a Lenny dragonfly. There is an Agnes pterodactyl. He evolves into a rat like figure and gets attacked by a Bart dinosaur, however T Rex Bart and Stegosaurus Lisa get into a fight (a spoof of the dinosaur scene from Fantasia). A meteor destroys the planet and Homer survives. He evolves into a monkey and then a human. Meanwhile Moe is devolving from human back into an animal. Time goes by from the Ice Age,  Dark Ages, Renaissance, Victorian era, to the modern world. When he finally gets home and sits on the couch Marge asks "What took you so long?"

It's Homer's birthday but he can't blow out the candles. He thinks they are trick but they are regular candles but he still can't do it. Lisa complains that Homer is out of shape. He spends the next three hours trying to blow out the candles and ends up setting the house on fire. To protect their stuff they buy a fireproof safe. Marge puts the photo album in, Lisa puts her Malibu Stacy car. Homer puts in the cologne from their first date. Bart puts in his Catch A Rising Star Krusty. Bart's Krusty doll sets the toy car headlights which overheats the cologne which explodes destroying Marge's photo album. Lisa says they can't restage the photos, so that's what Marge does. After recreating everything Marge comes home from the photo developer but trips on a Happy Little Elf doll and tosses them under the lawn mower, however she got duplicates so the day isn't ruined. In one of the duplicated photos Duffman can be seen on a date with Booberella. Marge decides to sell the photo to the local tabloid to get money to pay for their fire damage. Homer takes a job as a celebrity photographer. He gets blown off at the Krusty movie premier so he decides to have Bart annoy Paris Texan so she attacks him with a bottle. Betty White shows up and is nice to Homer and knows everything about the family. Homer insults Derrick's Tatum's hip hop album, he smashes all of Homer's cameras. Marge wants Homer to quit but she is addicted to the gossip. Homer flies over Rainer Wolfcastle's marriage, Rainer vows revenge and invites all the celebrities to his house. The celebrities hire Enrico Irratazio to get photos of Homer at his most embarrassing moments. When Homer quits and the celebrities celebrate. Lenny and Carl complain about celebrities so Homer decides to take photos of their party. He busts into the party and starts taking photos (a spoof of a McBain movie). Homer offers to not reveal the photos if the celebrities will be kinder to normal people. Woflcastle invites the Simpsons to his offshore platform for a BBQ. Marge asks if he'll look at her screenplay but he says he can't look at unsolicited manuscripts and then steals the idea for his own movie Mrs. Mom (A spoof on Mrs. Doubtfire).

J.K. Simmons does the voice of the tabloid editor (a spoof on JJ. Jameson from Spiderman) John Lovitz does the voice of Enrico Irratazio and Betty White does her own voice.

E*Z Blo Brand Easy Blow Candles, Now Easier To Blow! (there is a picture of a ladybug blowing out a candle)

Homer's cologne is Scent of a Wookiee from the Star Wars Collection. 

Freezeframe by the J. Giles Band plays during the photo montage. 

When they take a "Happy 1987" photo the family looks like they did in the Tracy Ullmann shorts. 

The series regulars who come over to restage the Star Trek Voyager show finale party: Lenny (dressed as 7 of 9) Barney, Homer Dr. Hibbert (dressed as Tuvok), Carl and Ned. "Bon Voyage Voyager"

Lisa reads Man and Superman by G. B. Shaw. Bart reads Aquaman and Superman by D.C. Comics.

Dated reference, Marge uses a film camera and gets prints at the photo developer, along with duplicates.

The Springfield Inquisitor headline: Friends Pray For Luigi's Death / Mr. Teene's Cocaine Orgy.

The Krusty Movie Premiering Tonight.

Gabbo shows up at the Krusty movie premier. They were once on rival programs on two different networks.

Fancy Farms grocery store. Health A Bitz 100% Natural cereal.

The Yee Haw Texan's daughter is named Paris Texan (a spoof on the city Paris Texas and Paris Hilton)

Homer's photos, Paris Texan, Paul McCartney, Gary Coleman, Yao Ming, Mr T, Elton John, Jimmy Durante (who died in 1980 btw), Jose Canseco, Drederic Tatum.

Homer has a photo of Arthur Crandall beating up Gabbo and Krusty flashing Betty White.

Embarrassing photos of Homer, Maggie hanging off the rear view mirror / Showering in a fire hydrant / drunk at Build A Bear / Fighting with a deer / burning a jury duty notice / Fighting with SLH for pizza / eating pizza out of the trash / sitting in the kid's wading pool with a cigar / flexing for the mirror

The celebrities celebrate at the Snub Club

Marge Gamer

This episode premiered on April 22nd, 2007. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons rerun (Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em). It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, The Amazing Race and Dateline NBC.

The couch gag is The Springfield Shopper spins into frame with the headline "Couch Gag Thrills Nation" The photo is of the family on the couch. 

The PTA is getting everyone's emails but Marge doesn't have one. Lisa shows Marge the internet so she googles herself and finds a satellite image of the house, showing Homer naked in the backyard, he runs away from her and winds up in Ned's house where his parents are visiting. Marge becomes addicted to an online role-playing game Earthland Realms. The Shadow Knight shows up and kills Skinner's character. Marge finds out that Bart is the Shadow Knight and shows up at his castle, Bart is angry. Lisa started playing soccer after seeing the 2003 movie Bend It Like Beckham. The game has been cancelled because they don't have a ref but Homer volunteers, he makes a mess of the game, which makes Lisa. The bullies are about to attack Marge in the game when Bart shows up. Homer watches hours of soccer and becomes good at the game. When Helen Lovejoy gets mad at Homer he kicks her and the reverend out. Lisa starts faking being fouled in order to win the games. Ronaldo shows up to expose Lisa so Homer gives her a yellow card, she protests so he gives her a red card and kicks her out of the game. Marge redecorates Bart's on line trophy room with Hello Kitty and he accidentally kills her. Homer and Bart head to Moe's, he gives them advice on how to win the women back. Homer buys Lisa a DVD on fights that broke out due to soccer cheating. Lisa tells Homer that he was correct and she decides to play the game just for fun. Bart uses his life force to save Marge and everyone attacks and kills him. Marge vows revenge but Bart would rather go play outside. 

Ronaldo does his own voice

PTA Meeting Tonight, Let's Fail Your Children Together.

During the soccer game Homer tears off his shirt and is wearing a sports bra in a spoof of the 1999 Brandi Chastain incident.

When the Virgin Mary statue comes alive to break up a soccer riot in Brazil Adagio For Strings plays, in a spoof on the 1986 movie Platoon.

This one was kind of awkward. They didn't go into the video game realm enough to make the story interesting and the soccer one felt like a rehash of previous episodes where the kids get involved sports, especially the episode Bart Star. There also wasn't a lot of references and lets be honest, Ronaldo was clearly reading from a script and they just went with it. Oh well.

Well, another five episode done. Five more and I'm at the end of the 18th season and then on to the movie, it will have it's own blog naturally. Also I should note, I have seen the movie.

 The Simpsons 386-390

The Haw-Hawed Couple

This episode premiered on December 10th 2006. The lead in show was a repeat of The Simpsons (Simpsons Christmas Stories) and was followed by American Dad. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 60 Minutes and Football Night In America.

The title comes from the 1968 movie The Odd Couple and Nelson's laugh.

The couch gag is Homer cuts the family's silhouettes holding hands out of a single piece of paper and says "Woo Hoo!"

Lisa goes to rat out Bart for drinking coffee but it's really hot Pepsi. When they get outside the bedroom they hear Homer and Marge having a big fight but it is just a recording so the parents can snuggle. However when they throw their clothes a shoe hits the boom box and changes to A Horse With No Name by America so the kids enter the room and are scarred by their naked parents rolling around on the bed. Milhouse says it's better to walk in on both of your parents rather than just one of them. Nelson steals the kids lunch money and then invites them to his birthday party. The parties are horrible so Bart gets all the kids to agree to not go. When Bart gets home he starts bragging but Marge catches him, smacks him with a wooden spoon and makes him go to the party. The party turns out to be really nice with a bounce house and pizza, even a Spider-Man and Dr. Octopus show up. Bart tells Nelson that nobody is coming so they decide to have fun with just the two of them. Bart figures it was a one time thing but now Nelson thinks Bart is his best friend, Bart tries to break up with him and accidentally backs into Jimbo. When Jimbo goes to beat him up Nelson steps in so Bart starts to enjoy his friendship. Marge wants to snuggle but Lisa wants a bedtime story. While reading to her Homer becomes hooked on the book but Lisa doesn't want Homer to read it without her. Nelson gives Bart a Nelson vest and he becomes a bully. Lisa is spending the night at a friends house so Homer reads ahead without her. Milhouse tries to talk to Bart but he is shunned, Milhouse points out that Bart has become a sidekick and challenges him to fly kites in front of everyone. Nelson sees him and gets angry and confronts Bart for hanging out with Milhouse. Nelson is just about to beat up Bart when his mother tells him to come give the cat its eye drops. Nelson catches Bart but apologizes to him and asks Bart to be best friends forever however Nelson threatens him. Lisa wants to finish the book however Homer doesn't want to read the part about the death of Greystash so he changes the ending to where the bad guy gets eaten by a dragon. However Lisa reads the real ending. Skinner takes the kids on a field trip to the tidal pool, Nelson insists on being Bart's field trip buddy, Bart is sure he's about to die but Nelson tells him off for being a bad friend. The tide comes in and Nelson and Bart get trapped, Nelson gives Bart the oxygen tank and swims for safety, Bart passes out. Skinner give Bart mouth to mouth and everyone laughs at him. Nelson tells Bart that it's all over, Bart actually misses him. Nelson laughs at Bart and says "Ha Ha, I touched your heart". Homer is crying about Greystash at the bar. 

Bart is eating Milk Duds, although half the box is covered up. Hershey's currently owns the company.

Nelson lives at 19 Fish Smell Drive.

Martin tells the kids that as individuals they don't stand a chance against Nelson but if they all join together they form a mighty faggot. There is a definition for the word: fag•got (fag'• et) n. a bundle of sticks for fuel. (Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks]

Lisa's book: Angelica Button and The Dragon King's Trundle Bed by T.R. Francis. The story is based on the Harry Potter series.

When Nelson gives Bart a vest He's A Rebel by The Crystals plays and they do a spoof on the entering the restaurant scene from Goodfellas. Willie performs a ventriloquist act in the cafeteria. 

Greystash, the wizard in Lisa's book dies and Homer shouts "He killed Greystash!" A nearby worker on a power poll says "Thanks for the spoiler there, big mouth". This was based on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince when Gandalf is killed, people intentionally tried to spoil the story for others by revealing the plot twist. (I went on a trip and took a copy of Deathly Hallows with me. I put the dust jacket from another book over it just so people wouldn't give away any details about the story)

Kill Gil, Volumes I & II

This episode premiered on December 17th, 2006. The lead in show was the NFL Post Game show and it was followed by American Dad. It ran opposite The Wonderful World Of Disney (The Santa Clause II), Survivor and Football Night In America. 

The title is based on the 2003 and 2004 films Kill Bill Vol. I and II

The opening credits start with a Christmas theme. The town is covered in snow and there are decorations up everywhere. The chalkboard gag is "Frankincense is not a monster". Bart rides a snowboard home instead of a skateboard. Mr. Burns is dressed as Scrooge and Smithers is Jacob Marley. Mr. Largo is directing the band with a candy cane. Jasper dressed as Santa has replaced Bleeding Gums Murphy (since he's dead). The family sits on the couch but they are a reflection in a tree ornament. 

The family is at the Krusty Christmas skating special however when the stadium workers start setting up for a basketball game a fight breaks out between them and the skating characters. Smithers is jealous when Mr. Burns has a new friend. The kids go to see Santa but it turns out to be Gil. For Christmas Lisa wants the Malibu Stacy Pony Beach Party Set with Sparkle Sand but it's sold out everywhere. Gil tells her there is one in the back room and goes to get it for her, however the owner of the store is mad because he had put it aside for his daughter. Gil refuses to get it back and is fired. Marge invites Gil to dinner and then lets him spend the night. On Christmas morning they discover that Gil has moved into their living room. Marge goes to kick Gil out but he tries to play on her sympathy so she lets him stay, cut to New Years Day and he's still there. By MLK day Gil is still there, Homer tells Marge off for not saying no She remembers when her sisters stuffed her into her dollhouse when she refuses to hide their cigarettes. Homer goes to the bar to complain, he gets attacked by the Grumple. A montage of calendar pages turn while Bing Crosby sings "Happy Holidays". Marge and Homer want to snuggle but Gil busts into the bedroom eating the chocolate Homer had bought for Marge. The foot doctor calls for Gil and tells Lisa some bad news. Gil throws a St. Patricks day party, his guests are Kirk, the Cat Lady, some random homeless guy and the Leprechaun (who gets into a fight with SLH). After a year but Gil is still living in the house, he even sent out Christmas Cards with his image pasted over the family's photo. When Marge finally builds up her courage it's too late, Gil has gone to Scottsdale, she needs to tell him off so the family heads to Scottsdale. The town is covered with posters of Gil as the most successful real estate agent in town. Marge tells Gil off and tells him No about the house he has for sale, the staff starts laughing at him and he gets fired. They end up in the house for sale and the Grumple family comes over to sing Holly Jolly Christmas with altered lyrics. 

Elvis Stojko does his own voice.

Krusty's Kristmas On Ice. Adults $40 / Children $39

The skaters at Krusty's Christmas show sing a version of Deck The Halls.

Characters at Krusty's Christmas show. Ribwich Ribbit (I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can), Matrix Poochie (Even though Krusty promised that Poochie was gone forever), Elvis Stojko. The first appearance of The Grumple (a spoof on The Grinch and Oscar The Grouch)

Costington's Christmas Presents - At Hanukkah Prices. 

Sign at Costington: Santa's Making Presents, He'll Be Right Back (with an image of Santa on the toilet) 

The family sings The 12 Days Of Christmas and Rockin' Round The Christmas Tree.

Gil makes a joke about Harold Stassen. He was known as the perpetual candidate because he was always running for office, and generally losing.

Marge says she let Gil stay because of Christian Charity, Homer wants to know what a porn star has to do with this. (There really is an adult star by that name but she was 7 when this episode came out)

At the Rose Parade the marching band from Altoona PA is playing Rachel's Theme from Batman Begins. 

Springfield Shopper headline: Today We Remember Martin Luther King - Tomorrow We Don't. The shopper is back to 35¢

As the camera pans up from Gils St. Patrick's Day party to the parent's bedroom we see dancing mice between the floors. 

James L. Brooks' birthday May 9th.

July 27th, Jerry Van Dyke's Birthday (Australia)

Welcome To Scottsdale, Water $10 a Sip

Ooo, bad joke, they leave SLH in the car when it's 102° and Homer runs over to tell him there's water under the seat.

I hate to say this was a bad episode, but it was a bad episode. The plot was mostly Gil living on the couch with a lot of filler and the ending felt tacked on. I miss the classic Simpsons. 

This was the last Simpsons episode for 2006. 18 (or 19) years to go.

The good news is I'm only 13 episodes away from the movie.

The Wife Aquatic

This episode premiered on January 7th, 2007. The lead in show was The NFC Wildcard game (Eagles 23 / Giants 20) and it was followed by American Dad. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, Cold Case and Grease, You're The One That I Want.

The title comes from the 2004 film The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The couch gag is there is a cork board, someone uses a tack to put the couch on it followed by the different members of the family.

Springfield is holding an outdoor movie in the park however there is no place for the family. They end up racing against the Van Houtens. Homer throws Maggie who parachutes into the empty spot. The bullies start throwing radishes at Rod and Todd so the movie gets destroyed. Patty and Selma show up with their home movies. Marge remembers back to when they would go to Barnacle Bay, he decides to take them for a surprise vacation. It turns out the town is now a spot for homeless people. When Marge asks what happened to the island Homer blames Bill Clinton. It turns out that the Yum Yum Fish had disappeared. Homer gets the locals to restore the carousel, Bart and Lisa have to turn it. Homer ends the day with a fireworks show however a spark sets the dock on fire and burns everything up. The locals are mad at him and hang him up like a fish. They decide to earn his way out of the damage by going fishing. The nets pull up nothing but garbage and a fish used to polish stripper poles. Homer accidentally beer batters the hooks however they catch a load of Yum Yum Fish. A guy at the ocean institute tells Marge that a perfect storm is coming, Homer is still out on the boat. The boat is in trouble so the captain orders them to get out the emergency rafts however Bart his hiding in the cabinet instead of the rafts. Moe gets a shiver sensing that Homer is in terrible trouble, the bar patrons decide to head out to rescue him but it's raining so they change their minds. A giant wave hits the boat and they start to sink. Homer prays to the sea as the camera pulls away. The next day the sun comes out and the town holds a memorial to the victims. However the crew show up, Homer sees an underwater Atlantis inhabited by mermaids, however he was suffering from oxygen deprivation. They got rescued by a Japanese trawler. Lisa lectures them about overfishing. The island decide to cut down all the trees instead, they are going to Larry Flynt to print Hustler. 

The plot of this episode is based on the 2000 film The Perfect Storm

Ned puts religious pamphlets on people's cars, You Will Die In Sin.

The outdoor movie is Dunderhead Deputies in Farmyard Follies. This is a spoof on the Keystone Cops. It's a silent movie and Mrs. Glick plays the piano along with the film.

Lisa says Barnacle Bay is the most disgusting place they've ever been, Bart reminds her they went to Brazil. (Blame It On Lisa)

Barnacle Bay Theater: Meet Me In Some Floozy.

Boats at the dock: The Wasted Bait / The Empty Net / The Rotting Pelican

Lisa and a fisherman get into a fight about the disappearance of the fish. He ends with "Well maybe you should marry Milhouse. That's right, I know about Milhouse"

When Homer is clubbing fish At Last by Etta James plays. 

Barnacle Bay Oceanographic Institute: Yes we make change for parking. Exhibits: The Science of SpongeBob / Tides: Natures Least Accurate Clocks / Water Acidity / Global Warming (the exhibit demonstrates what global warming will do in the next three years. A model of NYC gets flooded and everyone drowns. I guess all of the Simpsons predictions don't come true)

One of the crew wants to go back because their TiVo's will be full of great shows. Streaming competition and licensing agreements have slowly been putting TiVo out of business. 

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Times

This episode premiered on January 28th 2007. The lead in show was The War At Home and it was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, Cold Case and Grease, You're The One That I want

The title comes from the Star Trek: Wrath Of Khan quote "Revenge is a dish best served cold"

The couch gag is The family is all babies and then go through rapid growth to their current age.

The family has a satellite radio in their car, all easy listening. The Yee Haw Texan cuts them off, Homer tries to hit his car with a baseball bat but Marge tells three stories about revenge gone bad.

The Count Of Monty Fatso

The Simpsons are a happy rich family but Moe (Meaux) is jealous. Wiggum shows up and arrests Homer for treason. Moe reads a love letter Homer wrote to England so he's sentenced to life in prison. Homer turns out to share a cell with Burns who shows him the tunnel he's been digging. Burns has a map to his buried treasure. Homer falls off a cliff and into a sunken boat with a cage. It leads to another tunnel that leads back to the cell. It takes him two more times to escape. Five years later Homer sets out to get his revenge by inviting Moe and Marge to his castle. Homer has Moe sit in a torture chair and then reveals himself. Moe is burned up in a crepes. Marge is upset that Homer killed Moe, she's angry that it took him 5 years to get her back and walks out.

The title of this segment is based on the novel The Count Of Monty Cristo.

Chateau d'If Times headline Prisoner's Wife Remarries. A image of Moe and Marge. The paper is seen spinning however Lenny is holding it while Homer is spun on a torture wheel.

When Homer discovers the treasure cave he dives in like Scrooge McDuck in the opening of the 1982 TV series Duck Tales. 

Revenge Of The Geeks

Lisa tells the next story. The bullies have the nerds tied up and are using them to play shuffleboard. Martin builds a Get-Back-Anator, a revenge glove. Milhouse offers to wear it. Martin tricks the bullies into chasing him in to the library, they've never been there before. Milhouse uses the glove to torture the bullies with various punishments from wedgies to purple nurples. Once the bullies are contained Milhouse goes crazy with power, he gets revenge on Martin and then goes on a rampage. Milhouse want Lisa to be his queen but she says she just wants to be friends. When he tries to zap her he can't and throws the glove away. Nelson shows up and grabs it, he uses all the settings on Milhouse. 

The title of this episode is based on the 1984 movie Revenge Of The Nerds

Homer says he's going to get his revenge on the Yee Haw Texan and if he gets caught he's pinning it on the baby just like the time he shot Mr. Burns (Who Shot Burns part I and II)

There is a cardboard cutout of Hitler "Before I was a Nazi leader I was a Nazi Reader" and is holding up a copy of Mein Kampf. 

Glove settings: Wedgie / Purple Nurples / Pink Belly / Indian Burn / Wet Willie / Dry Willie / Kidney Stoning / Nasty Jackson / Genital Hospital / Stop Hitting Yourself / Freshman Facial / Ultimate Noogie (it beheads Willie)

Milhouse's revenge list: Skinner / Jimbo / Kearny / Nana / Wendell / Dolph / Sherri / Cosign / Terry / Chuck / Becky / Martin / Richard / Database / Rod / Todd / Nelson / Willie / Uter / Ralph / Louis / Taney 

Homer catches up with the Yee Haw Texan and is about to get his revenge when Bart tells a story:

Bartman Begins

The story starts in the 1940's, based on the music. The family is coming out of the opera house and go down a dangerous alley, they get robbed by Snake who shoot the two of them. Abe shows up to teach Bart how to be a costumed crime fighter, he was once the Crimson Cockatoo. Grandpa wants to call Bart the Crimson Cockaboy. At the museum Indian music starts to play, the Serpent shows up and hypnotizes everyone. Bartman shows up and shoves Snake into a giant set of fangs. When a Lisa reporter shows up to say Bart didn't bring his parents back he says it's OK because he stinkin' rich and nobody to tell him what to do. 

The title of this segment is based on the 2005 movie Batman Begins.

Movies at the theater: Zorro Joins The Navy / Abbott and Costello Meet Polio 

King Kong is at the top of the Empire State Building and wearing a Yankees hat.

Gotham Herald headline: Crimson Cockatoo Beaten Senseless (a photo of a costumed Abe at the bottom of a set of stairs) / Muscular Child Terrorizes Underworld. 

Criminals of Gotham City: The Toker (Otto in a joint costume) / The Diddler (Ned with Rod and Todd dressed up as angels) / Mr. Mole (Moleman) / Sugar And Spice (Patty and Selma) / Poison Lenny (Lenny) / The Serpent (Snake)

Gotham Natural History Museum "Tonight: The Stealable Jewels Of The Orient"

When Marge tells Homer that revenge never solved anything he asks "Why are we still in Iraq"? The US was in Iraq from Bush's invasion in 2003 until 2011.

While Bart is telling his story Homer and the Yee Haw Texan make up. They claim they are both from Connecticut.

This Episode Is Dedicated To All Who Died In The "Star Wars" Films. Darth Vader / Darth Maul / Greedo / Uncle Owen / Stormtrooper #5 / Jango Fett / General Grievous (Droid) / Storm Trooper #22 / Dak / Obi Wan (Ben) Kenobi / Whoever Jimmy Smitts Played / Hutt, Jabba The / Sy Snoodles / Unfortunately Not Jar-Jar Binks / Everyone On Both Death Stars When They Blew Up. (When this episode came out there were 6 Star Wars movie and The Clone Wars TV series)

Little Big Girl

This episode premiered on February 11th 2007. The lead in show was a repeat of The Simpsons (Ice Cream Of Marge) and was followed by King Of The Hill. It ran opposite Extreme Makeover, The 49th Annual Grammy Awards and Grease, You're The One That I Want

The title comes from the 1970 film Little Big Man

The couch gag is the family is cut out dolls. A set of hands puts the paper clothes on them and then they sit down on the couch. Homer says "Hmmmm"

Lisa has to write a family history for Multicultural Day however the Simpsons are boring. Grandpa says "In a world of 31 flavors the Simpsons are the cup of water they use to rinse the scoops in. Bart does the boobs trick with the Land O Lakes Indian. (you can't do that anymore because they took her off the label) Lisa is inspired to cheat on her essay, meanwhile Bart plays with the Rice Krispie box and makes Snap do things to Krackle while Pop watches. Lisa claims her a member of the Hitachee tribe, getting the name from the Hitachi microwave. She makes a dress out of Marge's corn cob curtains. After giving the top speech she has to give a presentation at the Springfield Multicultural Center. Cletus pulls his cow's tail that sets off an entire chain of events leading to a wild fire burning its way to Burn's Mansion. When the fire hits the school all the extinguishers are gone. Bart stole them to make a rocket car, which shoots towards the burning town. Bart's fire extinguisher cart saves the town and they declare him a hero and grand him one wish. Bart asks for a driver's license. Homer has Bart drive home, someone cuts him off so Homer has Bart speed up and starts throwing Marshall Tucker CD's at them, but it turns out to be Marge. John Squawking Bear shows up to interview Lisa, he says he thought he knew all the lost tribes. Lisa tries to make up answers to the tough questions. Homer makes Bart carry a cell phone so when he's out with the car Homer can call him to do stuff. The first thing is to toss volleyballs over the wall of the prison to create confusion, next he calls Bart from the bar for a ride home. Lisa complains about how Bart is driving, he threatens to investigate her heritage, Homer calls form the trunk. Bart gets mad at Homer for calling him so he takes off on a road trip. Bart goes to North Haverbrook and picks up Darcy. He keeps going back. Darcy kisses Bart during a horror movie. Darcy wants to get married and makes Bart go to the courthouse. He finally confesses that he's only 10, she tells him she's pregnant. When he tries to run away the car breaks down. Bart thinks he's the father because they held hands and kissed at the same time. The court house tells them they can get married in Utah, Bart imagines skateboarding in Monument Valley. Lisa has to give a speech at a tribal council but she finally confesses the truth, someone shoots a flaming arrow at her. Several people confess to not being Native. Homer reveals his great great grandmother was a Native American, Lisa gets mad at him. Bart and Darcy drive off to Utah. The two families show up in Utah and stop the marriage. Bart drives Homer around while they sing public domain songs (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

Natalie Portman does the voice of Darcy

Marge reads Nagging Your Way To Ecstasy. 

Lisa looks through: Photo Memories / Springfield Family Heritage / Genealogy Research / Tracing Family History

The kids all show up in cultural costumes, Ralph shows up dressed like a dog. 

When Smithers catches on fire he shouts "I'm Flaming!" Burns says "Hmmm..." 

Shops in the line of the fire: Kevin's Kindling / Mike's Methane Mart / Just Match-Head.

Bart's wishes: Face on the $5 bill / intravenous Squishee / Kiss Bart's Butt ( in line are Nelson / Skinner / Mrs. Krabappal / Todd / Rod / Homer / Harry Potter) / Driving a sports car.

During Bart's license montage Jessica by The Allman Brothers Band plays. 

Bart writes "So Long Suckers" on the chalkboard after getting his license. This is an in-episode chalkboard gag. Instead of jumping on his skateboard he drives Homer's car through the school's front doors. He runs over everyone in front of Moe's, Jasper replaces Bleeding Gums Murphy (since he's dead). He jumps the fence and lands on top of Homer. 

After her speech Lisa wants to leave right away and says some of her report wasn't fact checked. Homer says "Just like CBS News".  This is a reference to the story about Bush and the Air National Guard.

Headline for the Chippewa Bugle: Feds To Keep Interest Rates Steady.

When asked where the tribe was centered Lisa says "South...west of...North Dakota-lahoma". This is a spoof on the old question, "Where is Springfield"

Bart's ringtone is Fur Else by Beethoven. 

Now Leaving Springfield-Birthplace of Nelson. 

When Bart goes on his road trip Low Rider by War plays. He goes through Shelbyville, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook

North Haverbrook has the world's larges bounce castle / Ultimate Fighting Zoo / Mylar Baggins Comic Book Shop (a spoof on mylar bags and Bilbo Baggins) 

When Bart is out with Darcy they do a spoof on the Italian scene from Lady and the Tramp, Darcy kisses a stray dog. 

Capitol City Convention Center. National Tribal Conference, 10 AM: Lisa Simpson. 11AM. Teepee Vs. Wigwam: The Debate Continues

Bart and Darcy go to Wives R Us in Utah.

This was a very strange episode. Just saying.

We've reach the end of another 5 episodes. I can honestly say I never saw any of these before, either in first run (which I had given up on years before) or in reruns. So they are all new to me. And, well, they aren't that good. 

ps, sorry I didn't post anything last week but I had the flu.