The Simpsons 321-325

Marge Versus Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples And Teens And Gays

This episode premiered on January 4th 2004. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by The Bernie Mac Show. It ran opposite the Sugar Bowl pregame, 60 Minutes and American Dreams.

The title of this episode comes from the anti family group featured in the episode.

The couch gag is the family runs in and sits down, someone throws knives just above their heads, when Homer reaches for a snack another knife just misses his hand.

The kids are fighting over the remote and accidentally turn on Roofi, a kids performer. Maggie loves it and Marge insists they leave it on. Bart suggests they continue to watch what they want and Marge buy a Roofi CD instead, which she does and the whole family gets sick of the music. Bart wants to stay in school instead of listening to Roofi on the way home and even tries to get detention. Roofi is coming to Springfield. At the concert it starts raining and all the kids start crying, someone hits Roofi with a bottle and he tells them off. He cancels the show and takes off in a helicopter. After the riot Lindsay Naegle shows up as the head of SSCCATAGAPP, Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples, and Teens and Gays Against Parasitic Parents. She convinces the town to turn against parents and children. Marge tries to change Lindsay's mind by having her talk to Lisa however Bart shows up to tell Marge that Maggie barfed in her purse. Marge starts a petition for a voters initiative, The Families Come First Initiative. Naegle says Marge won't get the ballot until November however there is a primary in March. Marge starts PPASSCCATAG Proud Parents Against Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples And Teens And Gays. Hibbert says ppassccatag is a brain stem disease. At the meeting when Marge asks people to donate they all take off. Nobody will sign her petition. The tobacco lobby offers to give Marge $50,000 to help with her cause but when the rep turns into the devil she rejects it. Burns shows up to sign the petition because kids keep him in a supply of young organs, when people see him doing it they join in and Marge gets her initiative on the ballot. Naegle runs an ad, Mothers against "Families Come First", it has a fake Marge endorsing the message. Homer runs a counter commercial however he puts the wrong number on the commercial and puts No on the bumper stickers. Lisa comes up with an idea to get the ballot passed, the kids swarm on the single people at the ballot and hug them while saying "I love you", they all turn out to be sick and infect the adults before they can vote, and everything ends. Roofi sings a very repetitive song over the closing credits.

The family watches The Gator Baiter, the host gets eaten by a crocodile. The character is based on Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter who passed away in 2006. This is almost a Simpsons prediction however Irwin was killed by a Stingray.

Lisa watches Dollhouse Do-Overs on HcTV. This is a spoof on Extreme Home Makeover. The show ran opposite The Simpsons. 

When the kids are fighting over the remote they keep changing the channel and we hear clips from King Of The Hill and Who Will Marry A Million Bears? 

Roofi is based on Raffi. The name comes from the date rape drug Roofies. 

Self aware joke, when Bart asks for detention he wants to write on the chalkboard, Mrs Krabbal says everyone got tired of that years ago. The last chalkboard gag had been on May 18th, 2003 (The Bart Of War)

The Roofi concert is based on Woodstock 25, which ended in a riot. The Rolling Stones song Gimme Shelter plays as the parents are passing out in the heat while standing in line for the port a diaper changing stations. The opening act is the Teletubbies.

Channel 6 News banners: Police threaten time out / Babies to Mayor: "Wah Wah" / Raffi Denounces Roofi. The photo on the news story is Maggie fighting with Gerald.

Roofi fleeing in a helicopter is based on the concert scene in the 1979 film Apocalypse Now.

The Roofi concert was held on Cletus's farm, his last name is Spuckler. The original Woodstock concert was held on Max Yasgur's farm. 

After the Baby Riot Kabul quits as Springfield's sister city. The war in Afghanistan had been going on for three years at this point.

Members of SSCCATAGAPP, Lindsay Nagal / Otto / Jasper / Sea Captain / Mrs. Krabbappal / Zit Faced Teen / Smithers (gee, I wonder who he is representing)

My Generation by The Who plays during the montage of the mob making Springfield more adult friendly and destroying all kid based things.

During the anti kids scene Moe turns the R around in Toy "R" Us. In 2017 the company went bankrupt and closed most of their stores by 2018. They have since been bought out and a new company is reopening physical stores while also running an on line retail site.

When the adults are destroying all kid friendly sites in Springfield there is a shot of Milhouse crying. This is a spoof on the photo The Weeping Frenchman taken in 1940 as the Germans took occupation of the nation.

Springfield erects a statue to the Deadbeat Dad, a man holding out his empty pockets with the words "I just don't have it" carved in the base. 

Instead of taking the kids to school Otto is driving seniors to Atlantic City.

Children's toys are converted into office furniture.

The Springfield Library turns the Young Adult section into the Adult Section complete with a red flashing light and beaded curtains. 

CBG says he'll only sign a petition to bring back Herman's Head, a sitcom that ran from 1991 to 1994.

Springfield Shopper headline: "Families Come First" on ballot / Second headline less important, studies show / Families Come First wrong for Springfield / Costs too much, does too little 

Homer's website for the pro family movement is al-jazeera dot com. 

Joke that didn't age well: Homer uses a photo of Rudy Giuliani to support the family initiative.

This was one of those episodes that started off in one place and ended in a completely different one, and everything just kind of went back to the way it was before. IOW, pointless.

This is the first episode of 2004. 21 years to go.

I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot

This episode premiered on January 11th, 2004. The lead in show was the NFL playoffs (Eagles 20 - Green Bay 17) and was followed by The Bernie Mac Show. It ran opposite 10-8, Cold Case and American Dreams

The title comes from the 1950 book I Robot. The movie would be released 6 months later.

The couch gag is the family are decorations made of frosting on a cake, we see the baker's hand at work. 

Milhouse comes over but gets knocked out by Homer, four hours later Bart finds him and his package, a Psycho Cycle (bicycle btw) Conversion Kit. While out riding the bullies show up on their mountain bikes and steal Bart's tassels, Bart can't keep up with them so he goes and asks Homer for a 10 speed bike. Homer says no new bike as long as his old one works so Bart pushes it in front of a Hibbert's car, the doctor offers to buy a new one, and then runs over Snowball II. Homer takes Bart to the store for a new bike but it requires assembly, Homer plans to put it together. The next day he's finished and it looks perfect however when Bart is teasing the bullies it falls apart. Bart is watching a battle-bot competition, Homer tries to bond with him offering to build a robot. Marge takes Lisa to the pound to find a Snowball III. Homer sets out to build a killer robot but it falls apart so he decides to disguise himself as a robot. Snowball III falls into the fish tank and drowns. Homer's (aka Chief Knockahomer) first fight is with Buzzkill. Homer manages to force the blade back into the other robot. Lisa picks out another cat named Coltraine, when Lisa plays some sax music the cat jumps out the window and dies. Bart wants Homer to come to the title bout on Saturday, he'll be fighting a robot built by Frink. In a preview Frink's robot fights the metal skeleton from Terminator, eats him and poops him out as a trophy. Homer is just about to confess that he's the real robot but the bullies show up and are proud of Bart. The animal shelter won't give anymore cats to Lisa but then the Cat Lady shows up and throws a new black cat at her. It almost gets run over but Gil steers away from it and crashes into a tree, she names it Snowball II. When Knockahomer gets beat up in the first round Bart goes to check it and discovers that Homer has been inside the whole time. Frink's robot drags the fake robot back out into the arena but when Homer is exposed it stops because of Asimov's rules of robotics, instead it gives Homer a comfy seat and a martini. The officials disqualify Homer and the audience boos on their way out. Homer and Bart hug, the end.

When Bart is riding his decorated bike down the street Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf plays.

Wiggum thinks Bart is a bike gang so he puts a pizza sign over the car lights, Lou asks "what if they like pizza?" so he puts a Domino's sticker on the door. 

The bike store is Vicious Cycles Racing Bikes. The logo is a bike shaped like a shark. 

Dated reference, there is a pay phone next to the bike store.

Robot Rumble on the Testosterone Network, "Are you Machine Enough?". This is based on BattleBots that has been on the air since 2000. The winner gets a coupon for a free appetizer at Fuzzy Zoeller's Green Jacket Steakhouse. Fuzzy Zoeller is a professional golfer. This episode came out 7 years before the movie Real Steel, that used a similar plot line. 

Springfield Animal Shelter: A Loving Sanctuary For Animals....For up to seven days.

Marge reads When Bad Things Happen To Good Children. This is based on the book When Bad Things Happen To Good People.

Bart's Krusty clock says it's Tuesday the First. In 2004 that would make this June.

The robot fight announcer says "killing him softly with his saw". This is a spoof on the song Killing Me Softly (With His Song) by Roberta Flack.

The song Watching Scotty Grow by Mac Davis plays during the robot fighting montage.

Frink's robot is based on the ED-209 from Robocop. The robot's name is Killhammad AIeee. He's fought Jersey Joe Wall Switch / The Grim Beeper / Circuit Ray Leonard / Bender (from Futurama)

Self aware joke. When Lisa names her new cat Snowball II she says they'll just pretend the whole thing with the other dead cats never happened. Skinner comes by and says that is kind of a cheat, she replies "I guess you're right Principal Tamzarian", a reference to the episode The Principal and The Pauper. When Homer asks if Bart ever suspected him he says that he's gone whole summers without seeing Homer, this is a joke about the tv schedule when there are no new episodes. 

Robot Rumble: Today: Killhammad Aieee vs. Knockahomer. Tomorrow Killhammad Aieee Victory Party. 

Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife

This episode aired on January 25th, 2004. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by The Bernie Mac Show. It ran opposite 10-8, Cold Case and the 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards.

The title comes from the 1970 movie Diary Of A Mad Housewife.

The couch gag is the family pops out of a slice of apple pie, Homer takes a bite out of it.

Homer tries to eat on his way to work but gets burrito sauce on his windshield and crashes into the security booth which sets off the alarm. He crashes into Burns's office just as the safety inspector is about to give the plant a passing rating, Burns fires Homer. Lisa convinces Marge to take her to a book store, Esme Delacroix is doing a signing, Marge decides to write a romance novel. Homer sees a Salesman Wanted sign at a used car lot, he plans to steal it and then charge them to paint a new one, instead they give him a job. He loses his first sale when he cuts one during the test drive. He finds an old ambulance for sale and buys it. Marge wants quiet in order to write her book so Homer takes the kids with him. Marge's book is about Temperance Barrow who is waiting for her sailor husband to return, he's a perfect version of Homer, but when the real Homer comes home he orders dinner and complains about the kids, she changes her main character into a drunken brute. She makes a Ned character as the romantic lead. Marge lets Lisa read her book, her various internal emotions react when she recognizes the Homer character. Marge asks Homer to read her book before she tries to send it to a printer however he falls asleep and gets distracted. He lies to her and tells her that he read the book and loved it. Everyone in town realizes the book is about Marge and Homer. Homer listens to Marge's book on tape, as read by the Olsen twins, meanwhile Marge is writing a second book. When he confronts her she gets mad that he didn't read it. Angry Homer goes next door but Ned escapes in his car, Homer tries to chase him down in the ambulance. In the book Homer's character kills Ned's character after finding out the Marge character is pregnant, however Homer's character is drug out to sea by a whale. When Homer catches up to Ned he doesn't kill him but begs for advice on how to be a better husband. Marge and Homer go home to "collaborate" on their own project, a book entitled Who Really Killed JFK? Homer thinks Lee Harvey Oswald wanted to steal the Jack Ruby. 

Thomas Pynchon, Tom Clancy and the Olsen twins to their own voices. Pynchon's character is wearing a paper bag over his face to protect his identity but has a flashing neon sign "Thomas Pynchon's House, Come On In"

Krusty Burger drive thru menu Mutton Buttons $3.79 / Snout Snips $2.99 / Gravy Scrape 'Ems $2.99 / Buffalo Things $2.95 / Fiesta Globs $3.99 / Triple Double Burger $5.99 / Hot Lettuce Injection (a healthy-heart selection) $3.79 / Twisty Lard $2.49 / Chicken Lungs (Spicy or Mild) $4.49 / All Of The Above $39.95. (btw, if you ordered one of everything, including both varieties of the Chicken Lungs it would only be $37.96). Homer also orders two Super-Choker Breakfast Burritos with Macho Sauce and a deep fried Diet Coke, in a deep fried bag. 

Bookaccino's book store: "We do not accept Bookaccino's Gift Certificates"

Esme Delacroix books: The Secret Of Scoundrel Cove / I, Scoundrel / To Kiss A Scoundrel / Whither My Scoundrel? / A Scoundrel Goes West / "A" is for Scoundrel / Scoundrel In Scarlet / A Scoundrel In Araby / To Hug A Scoundrel / Scoundrel Comes Calling / Senator Scoundrel / Return To Scoundrel Island. These are a spoof on the Harlequin Romance novels that were popular in the day.

Boris' Car Loft (a spoof on Borris Carloff)

Continuity error, Marge is inspired by the sail boat painting over the couch, it's labeled Scene From Moby Dick however in the episode The Trouble With Trillions Marge says she painted it for Homer.

In Marge's book the husband goes to Moab's bar.

Dated reference: Marge has a dot matrix printer. 

Lisa experiences several emotions as individual characters in her mind. This was 11 years before the movie Inside Out but 13 years after Herman's Head

While cleaning out his ambulance Homer sings a version of Cars by Gary Numan.

Marge's book is The Harpooned Heart. "Loyal to her Vows or Loyal to her Heart? Or Loyal to a Third Thing?

When Lisa is worried about Homer finding out about the character in the book she asks what if Homer reads it or they make a movie about it, Bart says's he won't see either of those, she then asks what if they parody it on Mad TV and Bart gets worried. Mad TV ran from 1995 to 2016. (I didn't realize it was on that long, I thought it got canceled after a couple of years)

Continuity Error Dr, Marvin Monroe shows up for an autograph of Marge's book, he claims he's been very sick. However on multiple episodes they eluded to his death including in the episode So It's Come To This: A Simpsons Clip Show and the Marvin Monroe Memorial Gym at Springfield Elementary. 

Homer swore off reading after not learning how to kill mockingbirds from the book How To Kill A Mockingbird. 

When Marge catches up with Ned and Homer she shouts "Please Homie, don't hurt him". This is a spoof on the title of MC Hammer's album Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em.

Margical History Tour

This episode premiered on February 8th, 2004. The lead in show was Oliver Beene and it was followed by The Bernie Mac Show. It ran opposite the ABC Sunday Night Movie (Pearl Harbor), the 46th Annual Grammy Awards and Dateline NBC.

The title comes from the Beatles album and song Magical Mystery Tour.

The couch gag is a tray is put in the microwave with five blobs on it, they rise to be the family.

Marge takes Bart, Lisa and Milhouse to the library but all the books are gone, the librarian says they are a multimedia learning center and a hangout for bums, pan across to Homer sleeping at a desk. Marge tells them stories about historical figures.

Henry VIII

Homer is Henry VIII, Marge is Margarine of Aragon. Dr. Nick is the royal physician and says Marge's womb is full of sea serpents. Homer dreams of a son, Bart. Anne Boleyn shows up. Marge catches them and forces Homer to go to marriage counseling, they go to Dr. Hibbert. At the threat of death he supports Homer's plan to behead Marge. Ned is Sir Thomas More, Lord Chancellor, he tells Homer that divorce isn't allowed in the Catholic Church so Homer starts his own religion and fires Ned out of a cannon. Lisa is Elizabeth I, Homer tells her to grow a penis or get out. Marge gets half the kingdom in the divorce. Anne has a daughter so Homer has her beheaded, Wiggum is the executioner. There is an Itchy and Scratchy puppet theater. Homer then marries Jane Seymour but her annoying voice results in Homer beheading her. Otto is next and beheaded when Homer finds out he's a guy. Homer marries Agnes since she has 10 sons. Moe tells Homer they are out of pikes for the heads, so Homer has him beheaded. Marge comes back and smothers Homer and Elizabeth I becomes queen. 

Homer plays Henry VIII and sings Henry The Eighth by Herman's Hermits. 

Homer wipes his mouth on the Magna Carta. This is a reference to when he wiped his mouth on the Sacred Scroll in the episode Homer The Great.

Anne Boleyn's business card: Anne Boleyn "A Son'll come out....tomorrow" This is a spoof on the song Tomorrow in the musical Annie. Modern Wench Magazine dubbed her "Anne of the Child-Bearing Hips"

Homer reads Yorker Magazine.

Sacagawea

Lenny is Lewis and Carl is Clark. The St. Louis Arch is made of wood. They get their tongues stuck to a flag pole. Homer is the chief of a tribe (a joke that wouldn't play in the modern world), and offers to send Sacagawea (Lisa) with them (in English her name means Little Know It All Who Won't Shut Her Maize Hole). Lisa is married to Charbonneau (Milhouse). Lisa warns Otto about poisonous berries but he eats them anyhow and dies. They plan to bury Otto after going to Moe's for a drink, but his bar is destroyed by a tornado. Wiggum is Jefferson. They run into another tribe but it's run by Bart, Lisa gives him Milhouse to scalp. Lisa abandons them but Lewis and Clark save her from a mountain lion, just as they reach the Pacific. They call her Pocahontas. Marge shows the kids a Sacagawea dollar. 

Mozart

Bart plays Mozart and Homer plays his dad. Lisa plays Salieri, Mozart's little sister, she wants to be a star but gets passed over. The other kids in the family are Tito, Randy and Germain (The Jackson Five brothers). Bart writes Symphony In Gee My Sister Sucks. Mozart wins the 10 And Under award, Lisa is jealous. At the opera Lisa hatches a plan, she slips sleeping potion into the Emperor's wine (Burns), when he falls asleep the entire audience plays along, Mozart is called a flop and winds up drinking in the street while Requiem plays. He catches pneumonia. Dr, Nick shows up with leeches and kills Mozart. As he's dying Bart says "Eat My Pantaloons". Homer goes to the street to announce the death of Mozart, and to sell death masks. Lisa goes to the emperor to announce that she's now the greatest musical prodigy however Beethoven (Nelson) is already playing Ode To Joy. He laughs to the tune of The Fifth Symphony. Lisa heads to the asylum, the Cat Lady is in the wagon. Lisa complains that the story is similar to the historically inaccurate movie.

Homer is selling Bat Out Of Salzburg shirts. 

Austrian Musik Awards "A Snuff-Free Event"

Vienna Opera House: Opening Tonight: Mozart's "The Musical Fruit" There are two entrances, one for Fops and one for Dandies.

The opera is The Magic Flute but with songs about beans and farts.

Snuffbox Magazine headline: Fops Drop To Mozart Flop

 

Springfield Public Library "Now With Working Xerox Machine (a workman comes and removes the Xerox message. 

Videos at the library: Everybody Poops, The Video / You-Gi-Oh! Price Guides / Itchy and Scratchy Thursdays Channel 6

The library has an autobiography on Ron Santo "A Life At Third Base"

At the end Homer comes up and says his favorite movie is Animal House, as he's singing the theme song a Where Are They Now? runs: Henry VIII still holds the world turkey-leg-eating record / Sacagawea went on to great riches posing for butter boxes (Land O Lakes) / Mozart's burial site is now the most popular gas station in Vienna / That night, Homer watches Animal House again. He went to work the next day in a toga. 

Eine Klein Nachtmusic plays over the closing credits.

This was one of the anthology episodes that had become popular with the producers. Personally I don't like shows where the main characters play someone else so, not my favorite.

Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore

This episode premiered on February 15th 2004. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Cold Case and the NBC Movie Of The Week (Shrek)

The title comes from the 1974 movie Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

The couch gag is there is a flower box in the living room, a guy comes by and plants some seeds, waters them and the family grows out of the ground.

On a field trip the lunch in the Buffy FooFoo lunchbox exploded, it turns out to be Nelson's, he also doesn't have the $7 for the field trip so they kick him off the bus. Milhouse starts to talk back and calls Mrs. Krabappal "Crab Apple" and everyone laughs. An inspector is coming to the plant so Burns sends Homer, Lenny and Carl to Moe's. Apu shows up to buy everyone free drinks on his anniversary. Milhouse sneaks away from the tour and tries to tell Bart something but he doesn't want to hear it, so Milhouse steals the Ironside wax figure and goes on a joyride on the wheelchair. Homer is sitting in front of Moe's and some woman feels sorry for him and gives him $5, so he starts dancing for tips. When they get to Milhouse's house he finally tells Bart that they are moving to Capitol City. Marge is mad at Homer but he gives her a bouquet and passes out in the doorway. Bart is depressed that Milhouse is gone and makes friends with Ralph, however he takes off because Bart is mean to him. Homer needs money to buy Marge an anniversary present so he dresses up as a bum and begs for change. A profession beggar tells Homer that he'd do best as Crazy Guy so he starts shouting "Coke And Pepsi Are The Same Thing". When Bart goes to visit Milhouse in Central City he discovers that he's changed himself with bleached hair, a track suit and a gold chain with the letter M. Bart lets Milhouse give him a wedgie to impress his new friends, and then they mock Bart by calling him "Springfield Baby".  Bart watches old videos of Milhouse and starts crying. Bart and Lisa are washing the car but end up having a hose fight, including spraying Ned. When Marge is suspicious of what Homer has been doing after work he gives her a set of diamond earrings. Marge and Homer are "snuggling" so they send the kids off on a bike ride. Bart jumps a ditch and tells Lisa to forget all she knows about gravity, she manages to do it too. They find a cave and go exploring, inside they find an ancient Indian burial ground. The professional bum shows up and is mad at Homer for taking their money. Janie calls to tell Lisa that Branford Marsalis' car broke down outside her house but decides to stay with Bart instead. When Nelson shows up with a pellet gun Bart deices to stay home too. Bart and Lisa are shocked to discover that they've become friends. The bum takes Marge to see Homer begging for money, he tells her that he did it all for her, she tells him he has to quit but decides to keep the earrings to teach him a lesson. Lisa figures out the code of the burial mound and rushes to tell Bart but discovers that Milhouse is back, his dad got custody in court because he's so pathetic. Bart asks Lisa to play Capitol City Monopoly and has her pick up a chance card, it says he'll make her bed for a week, the next says he'll defend her when the kids call her a nerd and the third says he'll return the Malibu Stacey head Lisa thought was lost. Lisa uses the hug card. Isabel Sanford calls it a Schmaltzy Ending, then it cuts to an episode of The Beverly Hillbillies, Jethro, in a uniform, says he's going to shoot some Vietcong and Granny says she' ain't cooking 'em. Sanford adds that wherever George Jefferson is she loves him and wants him to come home. The Jeffersons theme song plays. 

Isabel Sanford does her own voice, William Daniels does the voice of KITT. Dick Tufeld does the voice of the Lost In Space robot. 

Burns calls Homer, Lenny and Carl "Snap, Crackle and Pop" a reference to the Rice Krispies mascots. 

Museum Of Television And TV "Free Emmy To First Thousand Visitors"

Hall of Nosy Neighbors: Mrs. Kravitz / Mr. Roper / Flanders (self aware joke) 

The museum plays a video of the Paul Lynde, Hellen Reddy, Hudson Brothers Easter Special. Their guest stars are Willie Tyler and Lester and Nadia Comaneci. 

Hall of Things That Shouldn't Talk But Do: Lancelot Link / Lost In Space robot / KITT / Salem (the cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch) / Mr Ed 

Starving Teachers Moving Company. Mr. Largo and Mrs. Pummelhorse are the movers. 

The Itchy and Scratchy Show: Moo Goo Gai Pain, Scratchy sees a sign, All You Can Eat Cat Special and goes into a Chinese Restaurant (Mickey Mao's), however it turns out Scratchy is serving chopped cat. (this didn't age well from the joke about Chinese restaurants serving cats to the after an hour you're hungry again bit)

Billboard: Diamonds...because money equals love. 

Homer's begging sign "Need $ Will Settle For ¢" / Cops took my brain, please help

Bart flies on No Frills Airline, their plane is a rubber band powered balsa glider. 

Best line of the episode "Marge, I'm not going to lie to you...."

Marge has a wall safe behind the boat painting, Homer has Twinkies inside because he heard if you age them for 10 years they turn to liquor. He uses a straw to drink the fillings.

Homer sings Mr. Bojangles for tips. 

This was a good episode, both stories came to a logical conclusion and a happy ending. I wish they were all this good. 

We've reached episode 325. Only 451 to go, almost halfway there. Considering I started this a year ago it means I only have one more year to go, unless they continue to make new episodes and then there's no telling.

 The Simpsons 316-320

The President Wore Pearls

This episode premiered on November 16th, 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons repeat (Bart Of War). It ran opposite the American Music Awards, Cold Case and American Dreams.

The plot of this episode is based on the musical Evita.

The couch gag is we hear a camera click and a Polaroid photo falls onto the couch and develops into an image of the family. (dated reference)

It's casino night at the school and Marge (the gambling addict) goes out of control. Dredric Tatum is the door greeter, and any money he's paid goes to the families of his victims. Homer bets everything on 17 and wins but when he goes to cash in his chips in he finds they are only good for cafeteria script or a day at the park with Willie. Everyone finds out that they aren't playing for real money and a riot breaks out. Skinner removes Martin as the student body president. Lisa decides to sign up to run for president however her opponent is Nelson who bribes the students with answer keys to all the tests. Lisa sings a song about being a nerd, Nelson counters by singing Black Sabbath's Iron Man. After Lisa wins Chalmers  is worried that Lisa thinks for herself, Krabappal has a plan to appeal to her vanity, and sings a song about a makeover. Lisa has a series of ideas but the teachers hate it, instead they overwhelm her with a busy schedule. They convince Lisa to sign an all access key form, this will come up later. Bart tells Lisa she's being used by Skinner, the staff sings a song about their daily life in school. Skinner plans on getting rid of music, athletics and art and frames Lisa for making the decision. Lisa sings a song about realizing she's been framed, she resigns as president and then calls for a general strike, she refused to call off the strike until they return music and art. The police show up but Lisa convinces them to join the strike. Micheal Moore shows up to quote a statistic. The other unions who join in the strike are the Springfield goat milkers, newsroom cue card holders (one hits Kent Brockman in the head), and the theme park zombies. Chalmers tells Skinner to send Lisa to the magnate school for gifted children, she sings a version of Don't Cry For Me Argentina. Homer shows up to complain about the amount of time it takes to drive to the school and insists she goes back to Springfield Elementary. The show ends with the screen titles "Springfield found the money to restore music, gym, and art by canceling flu shots and selling loose cigarettes" and "On the advice of our lawyers, we swear we have never heard of a musical based on the life of Eva Peron. 

Michael Moore does his own voice in this episode.

Springfield Elementary banner: Casino Night. Absolutely No Money Goes To Indians.

Martin says he got the idea for the school's casino night from an episode of Saved By The Bell. The show ran from 1989 to 1993. 

Martin became the student body president in the episode Lisa's Substitute. When he's forced to resign he paraphrases Richard Nixon, "You won't have Martin Prince to kick around anymore" and as he's wheeled off in a wagon he does Nixon's famous V for Victory sign.

Otto and Krusty were past student body presidents at Springfield Elementary.

Daily Fourth Gradian headline: School Elections Today / Are you a Bart or a Milhouse? Take our quiz.

Strike signs: Flunk me? Flunk you! / Give P.E. a chance / Don't cut off my pianissimo / What Would Jesus Glue / I like purple (Ralph's sign) / Free the Kickball 9 / Paste not Waste / Don't take away our balls.

Channel 6 story headline: Alphabet Coup. 

Adult joke sneaked in, Otto drops Lisa off at the better school and says the story has a happy ending, just like his last massage. 

This was another episode where they went through all the trouble of creating a complex story, and then had no ending. They simply say "well Lisa went back and they solved the problems off screen". I hadn't seen this one before and I don't think I had missed much.

The Regina Monologues

This episode premiered on November 23rd, 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons rerun (Brake My Wife Please). It ran opposite 10-8, 60 Minutes and American Dreams

The title comes from the book the Vagina Monologues

The couch gag is a Play Dough factory toy pushing out the forms of the family in different colors. 

Burns gets a $1000 bill from the ATM but it blows away. It flies in the window of the Simpsons and Bart gets it. Marge insists they put up a sign but Homer staples it to the top of a phone poll. Otto wants to read the flier so he crashes the bus into the poll knocking it over and a crowd shows up at the house to claim the money. Nobody has a real claim to the money so Marge says Bart can keep it, he imagines building a Moon Mansion. Lisa suggests spending the money on Marge, Homer suggests a vacation but her past memories of travel are bad so she turns down the offer. At school Bart is showing the bill to the kids but has them on a timer, Milhouse offers him a quarter to keep looking at it so Bart sets it up in his treehouse and charges people $5 each to see it. Burns shows up with a bruise of the bill on his chest and takes the $1000 so everyone leaves, however Bart made $3000 from the museum. They decide to go on a trip, Grandpa wants to go to England to see the woman he fooled around with in 1944 just before he shipped out. The family does touristy stuff around London. They lose the kids, who run off on a candy high, but spot them from The Eye, Homer pulls the eject handle, the pod is shot off into the Thames and the theme from James Bond plays. Homer accidentally gets stuck in a roundabout (this joke was stolen from the 1985 movie National Lampoon's European Vacation). Homer crashes into Buckingham palace and the royal coach. He is put on trial, he accuses the queen of being Henrietta R Hippo. Homer is found guilty and sent to the Tower where he becomes a tourist attraction. Lisa finds a book and tells Homer how to escape using a secret tunnel but it was written by Sir Walter Raleigh and it's the passage he'd use to visit Elisabeth I. Homer manages to talk his way out of trouble. The Queen lets them go with the promise to take Madonna back to America. Abe's British girlfriend shows up with her daughter, who looks just like Homer. 

Jane Leeves does the voice of Edwina, Tony Blair, Evan Marriott, Ian McKellen and J.K. Rowling do their own voices.

In the couch gag Homer is yellow, Marge is orange, Lisa is green, Maggie is red and Bart is pink.

Bart and Milhouse are playing the video game Hockey Dad where parents from the stands beat each other up.

R2-D2 shows up in Bart's money fantasy as part of the moon house band. 

When Homer suggests they go on a vacation Marge says Homer ends up kidnapped (Blame It On Lisa), or on a chain gang ( Kill The Alligator And Run). On their honeymoon Homer ends up tied to a wrecking ball. 

Museum Of Modern Bart -  Admission $5 "See the $1000 bill" Among the other stuff at Bart's museum is a "200th Episode t shirt (Trash Of The Titans), a sling shot, a skateboard and his lucky red hat. There is also a The Birth Of Lisa, A Simpson Too Many? exhibit with Lisa's diary, a photo of him pushing an ice cream cone into her hair, rattle and a set of blocks that spell out SAX. The gift shop is selling MoMB umbrellas, gym bag, tote bag T shirt and a "I Saw $1000" t shirt. If you join the museum as a "Friend of Bart" you get a subscription to BartForum magazine and Bart will say "Eat my shorts" on your home answering machine. Moe wants to know what a crank call will cost. 

Without the bill Krusty compares Bart's museum to the Hard Rock Cafe in Phoenix.

When they arrive in London there is a group of Mary Poppins like characters flying around the Thames. 

The Simpsons stay at the Buckingham Pay-Less Motel

Judy Dench's Fish And Chips.

Harrods Department Store "We Make Keys"

Bart and Lisa go nuts in the candy department while Iggy Pop's Lust For Life plays, this is a spoof on Trainspotting, complete with Maggie crawling on the ceiling of a gingerbread bedroom. 

British plays: Urkel is "Othello"! / Joe Millionaire -In- The Cherry Orchard / Sir Ian McKellen in MacBeth (Homer keeps saying MacBeth and horrible things keep happening to McKellen)

'ertz rent a car

Headlines: the Times Of London, Yank Bangs Queen, Old Bean / The Mirror, Simpo To UK: I'll Kill You All" / The Sun, Yankee Doodle Randy, Topless Homer on Page 3 / The Sun, Judge Goes Medieval On Simpson's Ass / The Mirror, Wacko Jacko To Blimpo Simpo: Sell Me Your Bones / The Daily Mail, Bart And Prince Harry-Out Of Control?

Henrietta R Hippo was a character on the kids show New Zoo Revue that ran from 1971 to 1977

The Tower Of London - As Seen in "King Ralph", a 1991 comedy. 

Dated reference, Homer tells Marge to not buy any video tapes in England since they don't work in US VCRs. 

There is a joke about taking Madonna back to America was because in the day she was married to the British filmmaker Guy Richie, had a really bad fake British accent and appeared in a James Bond film (Die Another Day). The couple divorced in 2008.

The Fat And The Furriest

This episode premiered on November 30th 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by The Bernie Mac Show. It ran opposite 10-8, Cold Case and American Dreams

The title comes from the 2001 film The Fast And The Furious

The couch gag is a repeat of the Get Smart entrance. 

It's Mother's Day. Lisa picked her flowers and the other three made Marge mugs. They go shopping for a present and discover Abe has a job as a greeter. They buy Marge a Kitchen Carnival, a kitchen tool that makes carnival food at home from deep fried to cotton candy, "Endorsed by the American Carny Association". In the middle of the night Homer goes nuts and makes a cotton candy, caramel, deep fried giant ball. Todd and Rod get stuck to it so Marge wants to get rid of it. Homer takes the giant candy ball to the dump but is attacked by a bear. The family is watching the news when they see a segment titled Kent's Cowards, Homer getting attacked by the bear is featured. When Homer wimpers and cries the bear gets embarrassed and goes away. Everyone starts mocking Homer and everything reminds him of the attack. Abe tells Homer to find the bear and fight back. Homer goes to see Grant Conner, the famous hunter who shot the video. Conner tagged the bear and gives Homer a tracker, Home goes home and builds a bear proof suit The Bear Buster 5000. Marge forbids him from fighting the bear but he sneaks out early in the morning, Bart goes with him. The bear tracker stops beeping but it's because Lenny and Carl took the batteries for their radio, meanwhile Homer heads to the river alone. The bear shows up but he's not wearing his suit. Marge gets Conner to help her search for the bear, Homer has been drug off to its cave. It turns out the bear was in pain because of the tracker, once Homer removes it the bear becomes friendly. Homer tries to get the bear to the wildlife sanctuary however there is an army of hunters trying to collect the reward for killing it. The bear comes out in Homer's bear suit and manages to run through the gauntlet of gun fire to the refugee. The family goes home. 

Charles Napier does the voce of Grant Conor.

The plot is based on Troy Hurtubise who built a bear proof suit. 

This episode ran a year before a similar plot on Malcolm In The Middle.

The family goes shopping at Sprawl Mart. A spoof On Walmart. They also watch a video of Veggie Tales. Jaclyn Smith is selling axe heads. 

Patty and Selma were on an episode of The Price Is Right but it never aired because they aren't "TV Pretty".

Continuity Error: Todd says he was saving sugar for his wedding night but Bart gave them Pixie Sticks in the episode Homer Loves Flanders.

Springfield Dump - Not affiliated with the Springfield Marriott. The dump has stacks of Betamax Tapes and Laster Discs. Both of these video systems were a failure in the 80's. There is a spot that says Reserved for DVDs, it's probably filling up now.

Marge is playing with a World's Easiest Crossword Puzzles book: 

F U N

E    O

WOW

Homer imagines himself getting attacked by Gummi Bears, Winnie the Pooh, Paddington, Teddy Grahams, Smokey The Bear, Bobo (the episode Rosebud), The Chicago Bears, Intensive Care Bear.

Grandpa has a home page, Old Coot Dot Com, "Why Today Stinks"

Grant Conner Hunter: To avoid being killed ring bell. 

Homer's Suit Closet: Zoot Suit / Astronaut outfit (Homer In Space) / Southern Belle / Renaissance Dandy / Country-Western Octopus 

Lenny and Carl sing Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band.

During Homer and the bear's rummaging montage I've Got You Baby by Sonny and Cher plays. 

The bear and Stampy the elephant get into a fight. (from the episode Bart gets an Elephant)

This one was a so so episode. The plot was pretty thin and it was mostly Homer hijinks. The whole Homer and the bear story was copied from the Season One episode Call Of The Simpsons when Maggie goes around with a clan of bears. All in all, this one would have been a skip, but I'm doing them all.

Today I Am A Clown

This episode premiered on December 7th, 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by The Bernie Mac Show. It ran opposite 10-8, 60 Minutes and a Saturday Night Live Christmas Special

The title comes from the Bar Mitzvah tradition of a 13 year old boy declaring that today he is a man.

The chalkboard gag is "Over forty and single is not funny" and the couch gag is the family jump on fire polls with their names on them and when they reach the bottom they are in the Bat cave.

The family is standing in line for the bathroom, however they are all outside, it turns out Maggie is locked inside. Homer makes a mess with a coat hanger knocking pills and razors all over the floor and then Bart attempts to bash in the door with Homer's head. While they are arguing Lisa gets the door open with the coat hanger. Dr. Hibbert shows up with a box full of puppies, the offspring of SLH and Hibbert's poodle. Lisa points out that after the last puppy story Homer was suppose to have taken SLH to be neutered (Two Dozen And One Greyhounds). Homer backs out on getting SLH fixed. The kids give Krusty a dog and when he takes it out for a walk they end up in the Jewish neighborhood. Krusty checks out the Jewish Walk Of Fame but discovers his name isn't on a star, it turns out he never went through a Bar Mitzvah. Lisa and Bart offer to help Krusty find out about the ceremony. Krusty refuses to to work on Saturday so Marge suggests they book Jon Stewart (at the time he was doing The Daily Show). Krusty wants to hire someone terrible to cover the time slot and choses Homer. Homer hosts a talk show and invites Moe, Carl and Lenny to be the guests but they can't think of anything to talk about, so Homer complains about how seats are too small. People start to like the show because of the their normal guy talk. Lenny asks for a raise so Homer replaces him with Barney, Barney complains about the stage lights so Homer replaces him with Disco Stu. The network executives show up to tell Krusty he's being replaced by Homer. Lisa tells Homer he has to put his show to work for good so he imagines going back in time and saving Lincoln from Booth and winding up on the $5 bill. He then imagines him and Lincoln beating up Oswald in Dallas. Homer decides to focus on important issues so people tune out. Krusty gets fired but begs to get back on the air so the network agrees to televise his Bar Mitzvah. Mr. T shows up to be the Rabbi. As Homer's show is failing he strangles Bart on live TV and the show is cancelled. (Once again Lisa strikes), Krusty's father is disappointed in how he handled the Bar Mitzvah but Krusty comes to the Temple to do an honorable ceremony. 

Jackie Mason returns to do the voice of Krusty's Father and Mr. T does his own voice.

Couch gag costumes: Homer is Batman / Marge, Lisa and Maggie are wearing Batgirl / Bart is Robin.

The show opens with Johnny Cash's Ring Of Fire.

Self aware joke: Lisa reads The Simpsons: A Complete Guide To Our Favorite Family by Matt Groening. This is a real book and still available on Amazon. Krusty says he's desperate for a job and will even go on Fox.

When Homer takes SLH out for his last fling Last Dance by Gloria Gaynor plays.

Movies at the adult dog theater: Behind The Doggie Door / Long Dog Silver / On Golden Retriever

Nuts Landing Dog Neutering

Bart and Lisa give the puppies to Willie / Snake / Krusty

Krusty makes a cocktail of Slim Fast and Champaign.

Stores in the Jewish side of town: Circle K Mart / L.L. Beanie "Bargain Basement for Fine Yarmulkes" / Bakery "I can't Believe It's Not Trayfe!" / Fantastic Schlomo's "Payos Trims, Two For One!" 

Jewish Walk Of Fame "Where the Chosen get Chosen": Woody Allen / Sandy Koufax / Joan Rivers /Alan King / Joey Bishop / Albert Einstein / Lorne Michaels / Shari Lewis / Lamb Chop / Henry Winkler / Chaim Potok / Larry David / Billy Crystal

Krusty's full name is Herschel Pinchas Yoracham Krustofsky

Dated reference, there is a pay phone next to the Walk Of Fame office. 

People Magazine crossword clues: Horror novels Stephen ______ / Unfunny clown (6 letters) / Shoe-Clad leg ender. 

The Itchy & Scratchy Show: A Bris Before Dying. Rabbi Scratchy  is trying to circumcise a baby Itchy. Itchy steals Scratchy's eyes and then jumps all over him, resulting in Scratchy cutting himself into small pieces. Itchy grinds up Scratchy and uses him to make a glass, that he then wraps up and stomps on shouting "Mouse-l Tov!"

Comic Book Guy is stuck in a Teacup after eating at the Beauty And The Beast Fried Dough Chateau. This was 14 years before Disney bought Fox Entertainment and The Simpsons. 

Variety headline: Simpson A Smash / Grammys, Emmys to Merge.

Krusty's father rewards his hard work with a Dr. Brown. This is an actual soda usually available in Kosher delis.

Princess Cashmere is in the background at the Gilded Truffle. 

Krusty the Clown's Wet 'N' Wild Bar Mitzvah. Warning: First Two Rows May Get Converted. 

The Beach Boy's Experience play the Bar Mitzvah and do a version of Kokomo with Yiddish words swapped in. 

Tis The Fifteenth Season

This episode premiered on December 14th 2003. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite a Special Report on the capture of Saddam Hussein, 60 Minutes (same topic) and Law And Order: Criminal Intent.

The title comes from the song Deck The Halls. "Tis the season to be jolly"

The couch gag is a series of Anima characters in a Tokyo setting. 

For Secret Santa Carl gives Homer a DVD player with a complete collection of Magnum PI. However Homer forgot to get Lenny his present so he gets a roll of Certs from the candy machine. Burns gives the employees a $5 gift card to the plant's cafeteria, however he runs out so he gives Homer a Joe DiMaggio rookie card. When Homer goes to Comic Book Guy he gets a heap of money for it. Homer takes the family shopping at the rich people's mall. They divide up the money to buy each other nice gifts however Homer spends all his money on a talking Astrolabe. Since Homer blew all the money he can't afford a Christmas tree so they head to a shady lot on the bad side of town. Homer buys a dried out tree, it keeps catching on fire. The family finds out about the astrolabe and they get mad at him for being selfish. Homer watches a cartoon version of A Christmas Carol and sees his name on a headstone "Unloved By All". He wakes up and asks the kids what day is it and they tell him the 6th. Homer decides to become the nicest man in town. His first task is giving the homeless his old clothes, Ned is upset because he had planned on doing it. He gives Lenny a photo cube with pictures of the bar crowd, he gives Marge the last pork chop. He shakes down the partitioners at church for more donations. Homer turns the back yard into a skating rink. Ned brings sandwiches to the homeless shelter but discovers that Homer has invited all the homeless over to skate. The news does a story on Homer and Ned becomes jealous so he decides to be even nicer than anyone else so he gives out presents to everyone, to pay for it he rents out his house to a fraternity. Homer tries to one up Ned but Lisa tells him that Buddhists prefer to not get presents so he gets the idea to go around and steal everyone's presents. Homer thinks everyone would be happy but they are all mad and attack him with snowballs. Ned shows up to defend him but also gets pelted. A star is seen but it's really a rescue flair fired by Moleman who crashed his car on a hillside. Ned gives everyone gifts so they are happy. They then sing Hark The Herald Angel Sings like the ending of A Charlie Brown Christmas. The show ends with Snake stealing Homer's Astrolabe. 

The couch gag characters are: Bart is Astro Boy / Homer is Ultraman / Lisa is Sailor Moon / Marge is Jun (Science Ninja Team Gatchaman) / Maggie is Pikachu.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, the Johnny Mathis version plays during a  montage of the family putting up their Christmas decorations 

The family watches the 1986 holiday classic Christmas With The California Prunes (an actual stop motion film). This is a spoof on the popular advertising campaign of the California Raisins 

Springfield Heights Promenade: Our Prices Discriminate Because We Can't. Abercrombie & Rich / Your Picture On A Rembrandt (Moe is in the advertisement) / The Prodigy Barn / Victor's Secret / Things Unnecessary. 

Silver And Gold plays during the shopping spree. 

Homer's Astrolabe says it's the birthday of Margret Cho so their shopping trip took place on December 5th. 

The Simpsons listen to Christmas Convoy, a version of the 1975 song Convoy by C. W. McCall.

On the bad side of town there is a snowman with an axe in his head and blood. This is a spoof on Frosty The Snowman. (The magic hat is laying nearby). Gil is trying to hang himself with a string of Christmas lights however he later attends Homer's Homeless skating party.

Homer mentions Tuesdays With Morrie, a 1997 book and a 1999 TV show featuring Simpsons cast member Hank Azaria.

Homer watches The Year Santa Got Lost with Jimmy Stewart as the voice of Mr. Mailman and the toys from Rudolph, It is another stop motion cartoon. The movie is a spoof on Santa Clause Is Coming To Town where Fred Astaire did the voice of the narrating mailman. Stewart mentions Secretary Of Defense Melvin Laird, he held the office during Nixon's second term from 1969 until 1973. Homer changes the channel to Mr. McGrew's Christmas Carol, a spoof on  the 1962 TV special Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol.

Bart mentions how TV shows have been using A Christmas Carol for years, he turns on Family Matters where Urkle learns a lesson and Star Trek OG where the Enterprise is visited by the Ghost Of Christmas Future.

Rod tells Ned that he's jealous of girls because they get to wear dresses. 

Springfield Men's Mission: One Hot and Maybe A Cot (this is a take on how soldiers count their last days in service)

Homer stealing everyone's presents is a spoof on The Grinch Who Stole Christmas complete with a version of the song "You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch". SLH is decorated like the dog from the cartoon.

At city hall Ned starts to read Luke 2:8 like Linus does in A Charlie Brown Christmas but is cut off by Mayor Quimby who tells him there is no praying on city property.

Springfield City Hall: God-Free since '63. This is a reference to the Supreme Court ruling of Abington School District v. Schempp in which they ruled public schools can't teach the Bible in regular classes, and this was extended to religious displays on public property. 

This is episode 320, which is another five down for me and the last episode of 2003, meaning I'll start with a new year in my next post. As far as I'm concerned these were so so episodes, not the worst but clearly not as good as the glory years. This episode was almost 14 years after the first Christmas special, I have just another 21 years to go, maybe.

 The Simpsons 311-315

Brake My Wife, Please

This episode premiered on May 11th, 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by Malcolm In The Middle. It ran opposite The ABC Sunday Night Movie (E.T), Survivor and American Dreams

The title comes from the classic Henny Youngman joke, "Take my wife, please"

The couch gag is a repeat of the boardwalk photo cutout.

Marge is helping to chaperone a school trip to the aquarium. Lisa sneaks into the penguin habitat and sees them flying. One of the tanks is empty, Lisa asks where they fish are and they cut to the storage facility, a janitor's closet with a bunch of fish including an orca, in plastic bags. A giant clam opens and people think it's a pearl but it turns out to be Bart mooning them, an octopus grabs him and the fish beat him up. At the hospital Marge finds that Homer has the insurance card so Hibbert handcuffs Bart to a radiator until they can come up with the money. Homer went to the video store but got distracted by a movie Editor And Chimp, about a monkey that runs a newspaper. He also watches Buttercups of Autumn (a spoof on The Whales Of August) that makes him cry. Marge decides that Homer needs a cellphone and Lindsey Nagal shows up to sell him one. Homer has trouble driving and talking on the phone so he goes to the Try N Save to buy a hands free headset but ends up buying all types of electronics to plug into his car's lighter. Homer gets distracted by everything and drives off the pier. In court Homer loses his license and has to be driven around by Marge. He walks to Moe's but he enjoys it so much that he passes the bar and keeps going. Marge becomes stressed after driving everywhere. While doing a musical number about walking Homer is run over by Marge, she winds up having to do everything for him and he starts to suspect that she's trying to intentionally hurt him so they go to a marriage counselor. The Dr. tells Homer that he has to do a completely unselfish gesture for Marge. Homer deicides that he should hold a romantic dinner and the guys at Moe's offer to help. The entire town shows up to hold her a special dinner. To make sure Ned didn't show up at the dinner Homer sent him a note to meet Jesus in Montana. Jackson Browne shows up to sing for Marge. To get everyone to leave Homer turns on the sprinklers.

Steve Buscemi (who shows up in the musical number and is referred to as "that guy from Fargo") and Jackson Browne do their own voices.

Springfield Aquarium. Dead Fish Skimmed Daily

Skinner has a Kick Me Hard sign on his back.

Homer's ring tone is Jarabe Tapatio, aka The Mexican Hat song.

While walking Homer accidentally hits a guy with a stick, this is a spoof on Walter Matthau as George Wilson from the 1992 movie Dennis The Menace.

Marriage Counseling "The one who's wrong pays"

Homer's list of people most important to him: Homer / Homer J. Simpson / Commander Cool (aka Homer)

Jackson Browne sings a version of The Pretender with lyrics about Marge. 

As I get further into the Simpsons I keep wondering if I've ever seen the episode before. I can truly say this is the first time I've seen this one. I have zero memory of it. Of course it's another "Marge and Homer's marriage is in trouble" episode and several of the jokes are recycled including the bar crowd telling Homer that the solution to his problem is a fancy dinner, they did this in the episode Some Enchanted Evening. All in all, meh. 

The Bart Of War

This episode premiered on May 18th 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by the next episode of The Simpsons (Moe Baby Blues). It ran opposite the ABC Sunday Night Movie (Waterboy), 60 Minutes and American Dreams

The name of the episode comes from the book The Art Of War.

The chalkboard gag is "Sandwiches should not contain sand" and the couch gag is a repeat of the giant baby. 

Bart and Milhouse are watching South Park, OJ Simpsons shows up and kills Calista Flockhart and Steve Gutenberg. (For all the century kids, they were big actors way back when). Marge changes the channel to PAX TV and the boys run outside. They tie a string to a fly but it goes in Flanders house. They go after it and start messing around including making a mess in the kitchen. Bart and Milhouse crash through a door and discover that Ned has a room full of Beatles merchandise and collectables. The boys drink 40 year old Beatles soda and have a psychedelic trip. When Ned comes home he discovers the house "slightly askew" and runs to the panic room. The cops show up and calls Homer and Marge. Ned suggests that instead of going to court the boys be forced to join in some social club. Bart has to join the Pre Teen Braves, Homer volunteers to be the tribal leader. Homer shows the kids a Chiefs vs Cowboys football game. Lisa and Marge build a fire in the backyard and do smoke signals, the kids elect her the new tribal leader. Homer gives up and goes to Moe's. Marge introduces the boys to Jim Proudfoot who tells them about how things were before White people showed up. Marge convinces the boys to clean up a local field but when they arrive they discover that the Cavalry Kids (the club Milhouse had to join) already did the job. The two groups declare war on each other. Dredric Tatum issues a candy selling challenge to the youth groups of Springfield, the club with the most sales gets to be honorary batboys at an Isoptoes game. Ralph is thrown through the Simpsons window with a note "We will crush you and smother your dreams. Yours in Christ, Cavalry Kids". Homer decides that he has to take over the tribe again because the contest requires men of cruelty. They load up the Cavalry Kids candy with laxatives. The Cavalry Kids win because they sold the laxative candy to the old folks home but Homer vows revenge. When they get to the ball park they see a sign that says Free Parking however it's a trick from Homer. The boys show up in the Cavalry Kids uniforms and sing a vulgar version of the National Anthem, the real Cavalry Kids show up and get into a fight, the thing turns into a stadium riot. Moe ends up fighting Tatum. Marge starts crying over how things turned out and everyone sees it on the Jumbotron so they decide to come together and sing Oh Canada. 

Self Aware joke: Bart and Milhouse watch South Park, Milhouse complains that the kids voices are done by grownups and Bart says he's impressed that they are able to keep it fresh after 43 episodes (This is the 312th episode of The Simpsons)

PAX TV ran from 1998 to 2007, it was converted (pun intended) to ION TV

Ned's videos include Girls Gone Mild and Debbie Does Penance. (Girls Gone Wild, Debbie Does Dallas)

Milhouse mentions Barbara Niedernhuber, two time Olympic silver medalist in the luge.

Sign on Ned's secret Beatles room: Beware Of God, Children Keep Out.

Learn Carpentry With The Beatles "I'm fixing a hole...in my drywall!" (this is a spoof on the hole in my pocket line from the 1968 movie Yellow Submarine.

Beatles soda: John Lemon / Orange Harrison / Paul McIced Tea / Mango Starr

On his psychedelic trip Bart sees Milhouse as the original Mop Top Beatles, Sgt. Pepper, Let It Be and finally the Annie Leibovitz photo for the cover of Rolling Stones with Yoko Ono and a naked Lennon. 

Wiggum tells Bart and Milhouse they'll be taking the last train to clarksville, Lou points out that those are lyrics from a Monkees song.

Suggested clubs for Bart to join: The Future Veterans Of Foreign Wars / The Five H Club (which now includes Homosexuals) / The Pre Teen Braves

Members of Bart's tribe: Bart / Database / Nelson / Ralph

The Pre-Teen Braves Handbook. Forward by Larry Storch (he played Corporal Agarn on F Troop)

The Cavalry Kids: Milhouse, Jimbo, Martin and some fourth kid. Kirk is their leader. 

Springfield Shopper headline: Cavalry Kids Lead Charge In Cleanup / President Shoots Wife. The Shopper costs 60¢ these days. 

When the two clubs are competing One Tin Soldier from the 1971 movie Billy Jack plays.

One of the youth groups is the Junior Dandies. They all dress in colonial clothes with powdered wigs. (One looks just like Nelson)

Continuity error: Carl says he sang at Lenny's wedding. In some episodes Lenny is married and in others he is single.

During Oh Canada Marge hold up the Canadian and Quebec flag. The episode is about coming together but in 2003 the issue of Quebec sovereignty had come up again, potentially dividing Canada into two different countries.

This was another one of those episodes that really didn't have an ending so they just tacked something on. It also doesn't hold up very well with all the jokes about Indigenous People. The Woke crowd would go nuts about "stealing culture". Ironically it was Apu who pointed this out and yet the character would eventually become a target of Woke.

Moe Baby Blues

This episode premiered on May 18th 2003. The lead in was the previous Simpson's episode (they ran back to back) and was followed by Malcom In The Middle. It ran opposite the same programs as the previous episode. 

The title of the episode is a spoof on the 1990 film Mo' Better Blues

The couch gag is a repeat of the gingerbread house. 

The family goes to the Springfield Botanical Gardens to see the blooming of the Sumatran Century Flower, Homer complains that Lisa always gets to pick their activities. Moe realizes the bar is empty and sees a news story on the blooming of the flower. He decides to go to the show but the flower garden is one person over capacity so they kick him out. When the flower blooms it puts off a horrible stink and the crows runs away in a panic. A traffic jam results and everyone gathers around Hibbert's car to watch his onboard TV. When traffic starts to move Homer floors it but rear ends a car and Maggie goes flying out the sunroof. Moe is just about to jump off the bridge when Maggie falls into his arms and he's declared a hero by the town. Later Moe drops by to see Maggie, Marge has knitted him a sweater. Grandpa has escaped from the nursing home so Marge has to chase him down and leaves Maggie alone with Moe. Moe plays bar with Maggie. Moe takes Maggie to Krusty Burger and gets hit on by a woman but he scares her off. Homer realizes that that Moe is taking over the fatherly responsibilities and becomes jealous. Moe tells Maggie the story of The Godfather and Godfather II. Moe has put a baby monitor and camera in her room, the family kicks him out. Maggie overhears Fat Tony in the yard, he does the orange bit from The Godfather and Maggie follows them, the family suspects Moe of stealing her. When the cops raid his place Moe offers to help find her, and the cops figure they have everything under control and leave. they decide to go to Little Italy. Maggie wanders into the Italian restaurant just as Fat Tony is about to shoot his rival, everyone pulls guns, Moe goes in to save her. The mobsters look at Maggie and start crying, they tell Moe that they plan to schedule playdates. 

In the episode A Star Is Burns Moe makes the movie Moe Better Booze for the film festival.

Springfield Botanical Gardens "Our Stamens Are A Pistol! (Only Lisa gets the joke, when she asks the family if they want an explanation they say "no", they aren't happy to be there)

The Botanical Garden topiary include Binky (from Life In Hell) and Kodos and Kang

Sumatran Century Flower. The Greatest Show On Dirt.

Hibbert is watching The Beverly Hillbillies Down Under. 

Maggie's car seat is secured with the Krap-E-Latch

Springfield Shopper headline: Baby Saved By Local Hero, Not Father.

You're My Best Friend by Queen plays when Moe is out with Maggie.

The Simpsons celebrate The Year Of The Rat even though 2003 was The Year Of The Goat.

The Sumatran Century Flower is based on the Corpse Flower, known for its stench in order to attract flies for pollination purposes. 

Another underwhelming episode. There, I said it.

This was the last episode of Season 14. Only 21 more to go. Seriously, why didn't I pick a series with a shorter run time. Firefly had one season and a movie, I'd be long done by now.

Treehouse Of Horror XIV

This episode premiered on November 2nd 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons rerun (Barting Over). It ran opposite 10-8 (a short lived cop drama), the special CBS at 75 and American Dreams.

Bart and Lisa are wearing Charlie Brown and Lucy costumes. They get into a fight over their candy. Bart accidentally stabs Homer with a fire poker so he throws a flaming log at them but sets Grandpa on fire instead. Homer rolls up the kids in the rug and starts beating them with a bat so Marge shoots him, his blood splatters out Treehouse Of Horror XIV on the wall. Kang and Kodos show up to complain about the show being broadcast in November (a common complaint from viewers) and laugh because they already have their Christmas decorations up which includes  them eating Santa and his reindeer. When Kang and Kodos complain about the November scheduling of the show they hold up a TV guide with The Simpsons on the cover (the real TV guide for that week had Ashton Kutcher)

Reaper Madness

The title of this segment comes from the 1936 film Reefer Madness. The plot comes from the 1994 film The Santa Clause

Death shows up for Bart, Yakity Sax plays and a Benny Hill high speed chase starts. Homer knocks out death with his bowling ball, the death certificate burns up. The Mob tries to kill Frankie The Squeeler but he keeps getting shot and survives. Moe tries to hang himself but nothing happens. When Homer tries on Death's robe he takes over the job. The first person he kills is Jasper. On career day he kills a hobo for Lisa's class. Homer kills his way down to box seats at the Isotopes game. He freaks out when Marge is the next name on his list, when they give him the chance to die in her place he kills her instead. He asks God to let him quit, when the robe is gone it turns out he killed Patty disguised as Marge. 

When Homer kills death he asks if that means they'll never cancel the Jim Belushi show and Lisa tells him yes, he yells "Noooooo!" According to Jim ran from 2001 to 2009.

When Marge asks Homer to take death out to the curb he says he will "without enthusiasm". Curb Your Enthusiasm has run from 2000 to 2024. 

Frinkenstein

The title and plot of the segment comes from the novel Frankenstein

Homer gets a call from the Nobel Prize but it's for Professor Frink. He wishes his father was there to see him, dad was an Indiana Jones type of character. Lisa offers to help Frink patch up things with his father however he's dead, and in Frinks freezer. Frink fixes him up and then brings him back to life. Frink's father decide to replace his mechanical parts with real organs, his first victim is Ned. He steals Skinner's spine, Snakes arm, Sideshow Mel's scalp and CBG's butt. In Stockholm the traffic cop is an attractive naked woman. Herschbach and Garner are the presenters at the Nobel Prize ceremony. Frink wins in the physics prize (16 years before Sheldon Cooper), his father shows up looking normal. However he goes after the crowd and steals their brains. Homer wishes he was death again. Frink does the math and figures out how to kill his father and catch his soul. 

Lisa tells Frink Sr. that the 21st century is like the 20th century except everyone is afraid and the stock market is much lower (the Bush jr. economy) Look how things have changed over the past 21 years, the stock market is much higher and....well that's it. 

Swedish Auditorium NØBEL PRIZE CEREMØNY. Winners Drink Free!

When Frink Sr. is walking down the street with his new body parts. Stayin' Alive by The Bee Gees plays.

She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby plays at the Nobel Prize ceremony.

When Frink sr. starts stealing brains Lisa says he went crazier than Halle Berry (she won Best Actress in 2002). Marge says it's more violent than the Hip Hop Awards (the 2000 Source Hip Hop awards ended when a riot broke out in the audience)

Stop The World I Want To Goof Off

The title of this segment comes from the 1961 musical Stop The World I Want To Get Off and the plot comes from the 1963 Twilight Zone episode Some Kind Of Stopwatch.

The kids are sitting around watching TV when Marge brings in a box of stuff from the attic. Bart finds an ad for a Miracle Watch, Stops Time. Only 49¢. Bart gets his watch and starts causing trouble. When he and Milhouse touch the watch at the same time they both stop in time, Milhouse wants to get ahead on his homework, Bart pants Skinner and steals Homer's donuts, then strip him and Nelson naked. Quimby holds a town hall but keeps getting switched into different costumes. He covered the hall with ultraviolet powder and installed black lights. The footprints lead to Bart and Milhouse. The town chases after them but they stop time. Bart accidentally dropped the watch and they find they are stuck in time. They read a book on watch repair and age 15 years in the process. They place Martin in the path of the mob and they beat him up, including Oscar De La Hoya. Lisa presses the wrong button and the family splits into jets, alternate sex, bobble heads, TV Guides, The Fantastic Four and finally playing with hula hoops.

70's comic books: Superman vs. Patty Hearst / Evel Knievel Jumps The Jackson 5 / Batman and Rhoda. 

When Bart stops time he says Lisa looks like a background character in a Hanna Barbera cartoon. 

City Hall sign: Tonight's Topic Recent Strange Events / Never Eat Greens / TV Teens Get Acne / Gent's Rear: Ten Cents 

Jerry Lewis does the voice of Professor Frink sr. (the character is based on his 1963 film The Nutty Professor). Dudley Herschbach, Jennifer Garner and Oscar De La Hoya do their own voices.

A spacey version of the closing song plays over the credits.

My Mother The Carjacker

This episode premiered on November 9th 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons rerun (Three Gays Of The Condo). It ran opposite 10-8, 60 Minutes and Law and Order, Criminal Intent.

The title of this episode comes from the 1965 sitcom My Mother The Car

The couch gag is the family runs onto the couch but then decays into dust. Hmmm....

The family is outside doing chores when Marge tells them to come inside and watch TV. Marge sent in a headline to the Channel 6 Oops Patrol (although the headline isn't actually funny). She wins a t shirt, Homer puts it on and stretches it out. He starts trying to find a funny headline. He becomes obsessed. However when he reads a story about the worlds biggest pizza he finds a secret message to him and is suppose to meet someone at midnight, he makes Bart come along. It turns out the mysterious character is Mona Simpson. The cops show up at the diner and Homer takes off through the back door but crashes into the police station, they arrest Mona. Gil represents Mona in court. The jury finds Mona not guilty. Marge recreates the birth of Bart. Homer steals a room from Flanders' house for his mother to live in. Burns converts his germ lab into The Grandma Simpson Peace Museum And Kid-Teractive Learnatorium. Burns gets Mona to admit she signed fake names on the National Park guest books and has her arrested for giving the government false names like "Anita Bong-Hit". Lisa wants to hold a candlelight vigil for Mona but Homer plans on breaking her out of jail. Homer gets the prison transporters to stop in order to chain up their tires and steals the bus. Homer dumps the rest of the prisoners off and then plans to head to Disney's California Adventures. Mona tazers Homer and dumps him when the cops don't see him. The bus crashes over a cliff into a lake, sinks, blows up and is buried under a landslide. Mona's casket rolls away so Homer kicks over a headstone, it's for Frank "Grimey" Grimes. Homer searches through newspapers for secret messages from Mona but can't find one. However Mona managed to jump from the bus before the crash and sends Homer a message in an article he didn't read.

Glen Close does the voice of Mona Simpson.

Springfield Shopper headline: Mayor Unveils Erection to Cheering Crowd. 

Homer's headline: Cranford Man Missing "What's he missing" / Drought Threatens To Turn West Into Desert (he misreads it as Dessert) 

When Marge tells Homer to listen to his brain, instead of his gut, he sees a cow playing the ukulele. 

There is a billboard for The Zip Boys, they first appeared in the episode Treehouse Of Horror VI.

The Overpass Diner A burger and squalor for under a dollar. 

Homer writes letters to movies, not actors but the movies themselves, the government is reading the one he wrote to Die Hard.

Channel 6 does a stock montage of the 60's to the tune of Along The Watchtower by Jimmi Hendrix. Peace protestors attacked by cops / soldiers crossing a rice patty / Woodstock / Nixon giving the peace sign / Neil Armstrong on the moon / Batman dancing the Battoosi / The Black Power salute at the olympics / John Wayne on Laugh-In saying "you bet your sweet bippy". Kent brockman calls it a shrill pointless decade.

Mother And Child Reunion by Paul Simon plays during the Mona/Homer montage. 

Germ Warfare Laboratory "When the H-Bomb isn't enough"

When Homer is printing out photos Mother by John Lennon plays.

Highway digital warning signs: Left Lane Closed / Drive Friendly / Seatbelts Save Lives / Stacey Will You Marry Me? / What Do You Mean 'No'? / I Hope Your Car Blows Up / Snowstorm Ahead Use Tire Chains

Headstone. Mona J. Simpson / Loving Mother / Radical Chick / Far*Out Grandma

Headline on article containing secret message to Homer, Giant Taco Built In Mexico.

In the episode Lisa The Tree Hugger Marge is cutting out a headline to send to Jay Leno.

Another five episodes down and the hits keep coming. Well the hit and misses keep coming. Some episodes are still winners while other are so so. Onward and upward though. If they ever stop making episodes I will one day come to the end of this project. 

 The Simpsons 306-310

C.E.D'oh

This episode premiered on March 16th, 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by Oliver Beene. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (The Emperor's New Groove), My Big Fat Greek Life and American Dreams. 

The title is a combination of CEO and Homer's catchphrase D'oh.

The couch gag is a repeat of the flip book.

It's Valentine's Day so Homer tells the kids to stay downstairs with the TV volume turned way up however Marge is tired and not in the mood. Homer accidentally plays Maggie's lullaby tape and Marge is out like a light so Homer goes for a walk. He goes to the Extension School and takes a class in stripping for your wife but gets kicked out when he uses all the body oil and slides into Successmanship 101. The first step is to live each day like it was your last, Homer ends up crying on the street (as if you wouldn't cry on your last day). Homer rushes home to "snuggle" with Marge but can't carry her up the stairs. He learns the best way to get a promotion at work is to report on the other employees. Instead of rewarding Homer Burns pushes his trap door and makes Homer jump into a pit of electric eels. Homer gets mad and drunk, Moe suggests they get revenge on Burns. Homer overhears that Burns dumped nuclear waste under Legoland, the sculptures come to life and attack the guests. In order to protect himself Burns has turned the leadership of the plant over to a canary. Homer comes up with a plan to get rid of the bird and then claims the Nuclear Regulatory Commission is there. Burns says he's looking for a patsy and decides to put Homer in charge, he in turns fires Burns. Lisa goes over the books and finds that the plant is losing money, meanwhile Burns goes to the Middle East to try drugs. Homer discovers that the plant is a mess and running the place is a pain. Burns comes back and takes Homer to the graveyard full of the people he abandon for the job, then shoots Homer with a dart and starts walling him up in the mausoleum. The next morning he's done a few feet and when Homer wakes up he turns the plant back to Burns and goes to play baseball with Bart. 

The Itchy And Scratchy Show: Bleeder of the Pack. It's the 50's and Scratchy is a motorcycle cop, Itchy chains his tail to a telephone pole and speeds by. When Scratchy hits the end of the chain his skin is peeled off and he crashes. Several mice show up and load him in an ambulance and take him to a waiting plane. The plane has Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Richie Valance on board, they expose their fangs and the plane crashes. The cop chained to the pole is a spoof on the 1973 movie American Graffiti.

Homer mentions the show 60 Minutes II. It ran from 1999 to 2005.

Billboards Homer passes on his walk: Suicide Hotline Call 1-555-No-Kill-U / Feeling Unattractive? Lose weight at Chub Med / Find the answers to your problems....at Springfield Extension School 

Extension School Orientation 7:30 / Graduation 9:30 / Classes at the Extension School: Releasing Your Inner Screenplay / Create An Online Kennel / Strip For Your Wife. 

Stark Richdale is teaching Successmanship is selling the book Megatroics The 48 Tips To Corporate Success. It's printed at Kinkos. 

The series regulars in the class: Otto / Homer / Lenny / Moleman (he gets thrown out a window) / Barney / Comic Book Guy / Carl / Zit Faced Teen / Kirk / Willy

Homer wears his Tom Landry hat. It first appeared in the episode You Only Move Twice. 

Homer has a poster of the Swedish Bikini Team on his wall. This was an advertising campaign for Old Milwaukee Beer in 1991. It was dropped because women's groups protested. Homer replaces his poster with the Swedish Efficiency Team, businesswomen in bikinis.

Lenny and Carl use proton rods to have a fight over which movie sucked more, Phantom Menace (1999) or Attack Of The Clones (2002). 

Burns has a chart of the leadership at the plant. Mindy Simmons (The Last Temptation Of Homer) is near the top, Lenny and Carl are near the bottom. Frank Grime's photo has a line drawn through it (Homer's Enemy) and Homer comes after a carbon rod (Homer In Space)

When Homer throws Burns out of the plant the employees sing Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye, from the song Kiss Him Goodbye. It is a popular chant when a player fouls out of a basketball game.

Homer Skypes with the family for dinner. Skype had just come to the internet in 2003.

Homer holds a Homer's 305th Everything Is Back To Normal BBQ (This was the 306th episode.)

When Homer almost beans Bart with a baseball he rushes the mound and the theme from the 1963 tv show The Courtship Of Eddy's Father plays while they fight.

"Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky

This episode premiered on March 30th 2003. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O. Disney (The Kid), 60 Minutes and American Dreams.

The couch gag is a repeat of jumping the shark.

The title is a spoof on the lyrics from the Jimmi Hendrix song Purple Haze.

Declan has showed up to make a documentary about Springfield Elementary. Bart becomes the star of the film until Nelson pelts him with a mud clod. Skinner steers Declan to Lisa however he mocks her since she isn't focused on any single subject (she's 8 btw). Bart needs to regain his "cool", he sees Nelson with a stolen hood ornament so he plans to copy the bullies.  Lisa goes to the museum to try to pick a new career, most things look boring but then she goes into the planetarium and is inspired to become an astronomer. Homer buys her a telescope, however whenever she goes to look at the planets she can't see anything due to light pollution. She hikes to the top of a mountain but still can't see anything, Professor Frink tells her the problem is light pollution. Bart shows up with a spray painted pacifier claiming it was a hood ornament. Desmond asks Lisa what she's up to and mocks her for her light petition. Lisa is successful so Quimby turns off the city's lights and people can see the stars. Meanwhile the bullies go on a hood ornament stealing spree, Bart sees a fancy ornament on a car and plans on stealing however it belongs to Fat Tony. Bart pretends to be the valet at Luigis and cuts the ornament off. After complaints about the rise in crime Quimby plans to turn the lights back on and cranks it up to Perma-Noon. When the lights come back on Fat Tony can see Bart, he and Milhouse try to escape on the trolly but it's only going to the corner. Nobody can sleep and after a week they are all going crazy. Bart and Lisa plans to work together to shut down the lights by overloading the system at the power plant. The power surge knocks out the lights. An angry mob shows up because they shut the lights off but just then a meteor shower passes and everyone is too busy looking up to be angry. Bart manages to steal Fat Tony's car. A meteor crashes next to Professor Frink and an alien jumps out. The show ends with Declan's documentary about Springfield Elementary.

Eric Idle does the voice of Declan Desmond

Declan's documentaries: Lost Luggage: Shattered Lives / Upskirt Dreams / Do You Want Lies With That? (A spoof on Supersize Me) / American Boneheads: A Day In The Life Of Springfield Elementary

In Declan's documentary about Krusty Burger, Krusty is seen stapling half eaten sandwiches together and reserving them. This is a spoof on the internet rumor that Chuck E. Cheese would take unfinished pizzas, recut them and reserve them.

Marge serves Dinnerables. This is a spoof on Lunchables

Museum Of Natural History. Now With Multi-Ethnic Cavemen! (the early years of Woke)

Homer buys the telescope at Teenage Pasteland Springfield's #1 Hobby Shop. (This is a spoof on the lyrics of The Who's Baba O'Riley.) The store has a model of the Millennium Falcon and the Enterprise in the window.

Lisa reads Ed McMahon's Star Searcher to find the constellations. This is a spoof on the 1983 TV show Star Search.

The (surviving) Beach Boys perform Good Vibrations.

Hood ornaments worn by the bullies: BMW / Cadillac / Mercedes Benz / Hyundai 

Channel 6 news headline: Hoods Rob Hoods In 'Hoods. 

Springfield street lights settings: Low / Normal / Vegas / Perma-Noon

Moe has a wall of his Drink A Gallon Of Gin Challenge. All the pictures are of dead people on the floor of the bar.

When all the Springfield lights explode the song from the 1984 movie The Natural starts playing.

When the lights go out and Springfield can see the meteor show Vincent by Don McLean plays. 

Three Gays Of The Condo

This episode premiered on April 13th 2003. It ran in its usual time slot and opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Dr. Doolittle), My Big Fat Greek Life and American Dreams.

The title is based on the 1975 film Three Days Of The Condor

There isn't a chalkboard gag and the couch gag is a repeat of the deep frier.

It's family Wednesday and Marge has selected a jigsaw puzzle, Bart is going to take off but Milhouse just got his rock tumbler fixed so he stick around. The next day at school Bart brings part of the puzzle to lunch, the family is obsessed with finishing it. Homer goes nuts and tries to force Lenny's head into part of the puzzle. After spending a week working on the puzzle they discover one of the pieces is missing so they tear the house apart. While searching for the missing piece Homer finds Marge's memory box. He finds a flier from Moe's grand opening and flashes back to the night. However he finds a note Marge wrote calling it the worst night of her life, Homer had gotten alcohol poisoning and they had to drive him to the hospital. Afterwords Marge planned on breaking up with him. Two days later she found out she was pregnant and stayed with Homer. He confronts Marge and she says she loves him but some of the things he does annoys her, so he sleeps with Bart. Homer moves out and stays with Kirk at the divorced apartments however he can't sleep because of all the crying men. Homer goes to check out an apartment on the Gay side of town, he runs into Smithers. Homer moves in with a couple of Gay guys. Marge hires Weird Al to serenade Homer and he agrees to go out on a date with her. Homer gets nervous and gets drunk on margaritas instead of going out on the date. He shows up late and drunk so Marge walks out on him. Grady, one of the Gay roommates, kisses Homer and he runs away, he starts to think that alcohol is his problem so Moe gets him super drunk and then drops him off at the emergency room. Hibbert has a tape of Homer's first alcohol poisoning, he sees Marge standing by him and then she shows up at the hospital. They reunite and then they flash forward to an older Hibbert watching the reconcile tape, where he sees a nurse stealing sponges. Weird Al sings a song about the episode over the closing credits. 

Weird Al Yankovic does his own voice and Scott Thompson voices Grady.

The family Wednesday activity is a jigsaw puzzle, Oprah's Puzzle Club Concert In Golden Gate Park.

Marge walks by the clock and it reads 4:20. This was around the time the numbers had entered the lexicon as a reference to "you know what" (The bots on this blog don't like drug references so....). Anyhow it appears the Simpsons snuck in some slang before it became popular.

When Bart finds the dead gerbil in the couch he makes the sign of the cross. This will mean something different in a future episode.

When Homer looks in the closet he has his Mr. Plow jacket and Pin Pals shirt. This is a bit of a continuity error because in the episode Homer's Phobia John had bought the bowling shirt from Goodwill after Marge gave it away. 

Homer says "Oh puzzle piece, come out and plaaa-ay" This is a reference to the 1979 film The Warriors.

Stuff in Marge's memory box: Homer's fake business card (Homer Simpson, Quarterback) / T shirt from their first rock concert (Rolling Stones Last Tour Ever '89) / a flier from Meaux's Tavern Grand Opening (and a goodbye message written to Homer on the back) / Her diagnosis of her first pregnancy.

Homer plays Asteroids at Moe's grand opening. The game came out in 1979.

When Marge finds the missing puzzle piece it's an image of James Taylor. He did a guest voice on the episode Homer In Space.

Patty and Selma pay for a billboard : Homer Out Of Springfield Vote Yes On 104

Outside of the Simpson's house is a news box from Apartment Finder, a paper with rental listings. 

Bachelor Arms. 3 Days Without A Suicide (after a gunshot the sign changes to 0)

Stores on the Gay side of town: Alternative Knifestyles / Armistead's Mopeds / Fab Abs / Sconewall Bakery (a spoof on the Stonewall bar that started the Gay Rights movement in New York) / Victor Victoria's An Upscale Men's Clothing Store (This is both a spoof on the 1982 movie and Victoria's Secret) / One Night Stans

Smithers is shopping on the Gay side of town and wearing roller blades, just another "wink wink"about his sexuality.

Homer says he's a member of a club where if he eats one more sub sandwich he gets a free sub sandwich and the spokesperson is a guy who use to be fat but now he's just ugly. Boy, that joke didn't age well. If you don't get it Google Jared and Subway.

Springfield Shopper headline: Bumblebee Man Caught In A Sting. This is also a self aware joke when Julio says "all the headlines are jokes".

Lisa reads Nancy Drew: The Clue In The Clock. This was the first Nancy Drew book and has appeared on the show several times before.

Weird Al sings a song to Homer and Marge to the tune of Jack and Diane.

Medieval Times Jousting Contest: Henry VI versus Spider-Man

At the jousting contest Comic Book Guy is drug off with a spear in his stomach.

This was a Homer and Marge's marriage is in trouble episode. There hadn't been one in a while but it's still annoying.

Dude Where's My Ranch?

This Episode premiered on April 27th 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a Simpsons rerun (Barting Over). It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Eloise At The Plaza), Touched By An Angel and American Dreams

The title comes from the 2000 film Dude, Where's My Car?

Thee couch gag is the family is dressed as mimes and sit on a pretend couch.

The Simpsons go out caroling, Snake is robbing a house, Burns releases the hounds on them, they sing "have a nice Christmas" to the tune of Hava Nagila and I'm Dreaming Of a Whitefish Christmas for Krusty and his Rabbi father. The lawyer shows up and tells them they are violating copyrights so Homer decides to write a Christmas carol. Ned offers to help but Homer throws him out, however he's inspired to writes Everybody Hates Ned Flanders. David Byrne shows up at Moe's when Homer is singing and offers to produce it. The song becomes a huge hit but soon Homer is sick of it and decides to take the family on vacation, they decide to go to a Dude Ranch. Lisa complains about the ranch's treatment of animals and exploitation of the Native Americans. Lisa meets Luke Stetson who encourages to ride a pony to go hang No Hunting and Free Tibet signs. The Native Americans show up and tell the Simpsons they make money selling junk to tourists since the river was dammed by the beavers. Homer promises to get rid of the dam if the Indians promise to build a casino and only use four decks in their Blackjack shoe. Homer tries to kick down the dam but the beavers attack him and try to make him part of the dam, Bart pulls him out but the rope breaks and the beavers attack him again. Luke tries to impress Lisa but everything on the ranch is about killing animals. Marge starts to worry about Lisa's relationship with Luke. Lisa overhears Luke talking on the phone to Clara about the dance and gets jealous. When she runs into Clara she sends her up the wrong trail. Homer baits the beavers with wooden furniture, including the hotel mini bar, he and Bart pull out the master log and the dam collapses, revealing the Native American's tents that had been submerged. Luke starts to worry about Clara and Lisa finds out it's his sister, she recruits Bart to help her search for the missing girl. It turns out Clara got trapped in the new river when the dam collapsed, Bart taunts the beavers and runs up a tree, they gnaw it down and it falls over the river saving Clara. Luke comes to say goodbye to Lisa but she confesses what she did, he tells her off and she suffers her first heart break. On the way home they hear The Moe Szyslack Connection, produced by David Byrne, it's Moe singing Moe Moe Moe to the tune of More More More, the family decides to go back to the ranch for another week.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas does the voice of Luke Stetson, Andy Serkis does Cleany and David Byrne does his own voice.

Homer tries to write a Christmas Carol. He wrote the hit song Baby On Board for the Be Sharps in the episode Homer's Barbershop Quartet.

Billboard For Kidz: Flan Slam Is #1 Jam

William Shatner does a version of Everyone Hates Ned. This is a spoof on his version of Rocket Man. 

Vacation brochures: Balloon ride / Wax Museum (Michael Jackson and Mr. T are on the cover) / The Denzel Washington Monument / Colonial Phoenix / Lazy I Dude Ranch (peace, quiet, chili) / Walter Gropius's Bauhaus Village.

Cookie, the ranch cook is a spoof on Gabby Hays. 

When David Byrne is trying to promote the salsa version of the song he dances on his car but slips and falls into Moe's. He asks to go to the hospital but Moe asks if he ever saw Misery and tells Byrne that it will all be new to him. Misery came out in 1990.

Lazy I Dude Ranch. Formerly Wandering I Nudest Colony. The Yee Haw Texan runs the dude ranch. He has to close because he shot a Texas Ranger when firing his guns into the air, however he'll be back in 6 months.

Lisa reads Lets Go Home when she doesn't want to be at the ranch.

Cleany crawls out of the chuckwagon and gathers up the dirty dishes, he calls them "My Precious". The character is a spoof on Gollum and the movie Return of the King had come out in 2003 as the conclusion to the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

Maggie dances to Oops I Did It Again by Brittany Spears, the song came out in 2000. She holds out a can of Buzz Cola and winks in a spoof on the 2002 Pepsi Super Bowl commercial.

The ranch is holding a Western Dance. The Stooped-Over Fiddler Is Back.

The Native Americans get a copy of Peace Pipe Aficionado "What Your End Feather Says About You"

It turns out Luke is from Central Park West.

Oh man, the Native American jokes did not age well, but lets be honest, they weren't that good the first time around.

Old Yeller-Belly

This episode premiered on May 4th, 2003. It ran in its regular time slot (The Simpsons rerun was I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can). It ran opposite Tim Allen presents: A Users Guide To Home Improvement, the CBS Sunday Movie (Lucy) and American Dreams.

The title is a reference to the 1957 Disney film Old Yeller.

The chalkboard gag is "My Pen Is Not A Booger Launcher" and the couch gag is a repeat of the workers eating lunch on the steel girder.

Bart's treehouse club is spying on Lisa's tea party thought a can phone. The girls try to pull it in, the boys pull back and the treehouse collapses. Homer vows to build a new treehouse and steals railroad tracks to get the wood. A train comes along and manages to jump over the missing rails and land upright. Homer draws blueprints but they are for a go-cart track. Homer and Bart screw around so Marge rings a cowbell and the Amish show up, they build a great treehouse. Homer holds a lavash warming party however the Amish wired the place wrong and it catches on fire. Homer gets trapped but is saved by Snowball II. Quimby renames the dog park the "Snowball II Muncipal Cat Park sponsored by Buzz Cola with Lemon. The local dogs are mad at SLH because he failed to rescue Homer. Lisa shows SLH a Rin Tin Tin movie where he attacks Hitler, so SLH attacks the Hitler looking mailman. SLH balances a can on his nose just as Dave Shutton, the photographer shows up, the photo winds up on the front page of the Springfield Shopper. The president of Duff sees the photo and wants to hire SNL to be their new spokesman, and fires Duffman. The first commercial has SLH showing up on the ISS in a beer shaped rocket. Just as the family is cashing in the original owner shows up and claims ownership of SLH. Regis interviews SLH and he also appears on The $100,000 Pyramid as the celebrity contestant, they actually win. Homer vows to get SLH back. The family tracks down Duffman, aka Barry Duffman, at the homeless shelter. The plan is to have Homer fake drowning, SLH won't save him but Duffman will. Homer's antics attract a shark and Duffman hides with SLH. The shark attacks the giant can of beer Homer was swimming on, gets drunk and becomes the new Duff mascot. The beer company fires SLH, the original owner gives him back to the Simpsons. 

Stacey Keach returns to do the voice of Howard K. Duff VII. In his first appearance he played Don Bookner, the general manager of the Springfield Isotopes in the episode Hungry Hungry Homer.

There hadn't been a chalkboard gag since February 16, 2003.

Bart has a sign on his treehouse "The Hole In The Underwear Gang. No Girls!" Bart's club members, Data, Martin, Milhouse and Nelson (who plays the banjo)

Springfield Shopper Lifeways headline: Ale Of The Pup

To work for Duff Santa's Little Helper has to change his name to Suds McDuff. This is a spoof on Spuds MacKenzie, the Budweiser dog. 

When Krusty gets attacked by the toxic prickle snake they put up a We'll Be Right Back card with a picture of Krusty sticking out of an ambulance being driven by Mr. Teenie. 

Posters at Duff, SLH on a surfboard / with Wolfcastle (Share a cold one with your best friend) / Got Duff? /  !Me Gusta Duff Cerveza tambien! (with Bumblebee Man) / Drink Duff, Man's other best friend / Get your paws on some 40's

SLH's original owner was seen in the first regular series episode Simpson's Roasting On an Open Fire.

SNL appears on Live With Regis and Kelly. The real Regis once appeared as himself on the episode Treehouse Of Horror IX.

Springfield Men's Mission. We Add God To Your Misery. Gil is being tossed out because he spent the last 6 months living there. 

Cash For Your Eyes Springfield Organ Bank 

Duff Beach Volleyball. It's Something To Do.

We've reached the end of another five episodes. I am inching closer to the ultimate end, depending on how much longer they make episodes. I'm also deep into the shows I never saw before. This is actually getting kind of interesting. We are also getting closer to the movie, although that is still 5 years off.

The Simpsons 301-305

Pray Anything

This episode premiered on February 9th 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by a repeat of The Simpsons (The Great Louse Detective). It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (Inspector Gadget), Becker and American Dreams

The title comes from the 1989 movie Say Anything.

The chalkboard gag is "SpongeBob is not a contraceptive" and the couch gag is the family sits on the couch but then are picked up like toys by a giant baby.

Homer takes the family to a WNBA game but he's just there for the nachos. The mascot is a basketball in fishnets, when Moe chases it down it turns out to be Gil. The sponsors hold a $50,000 halfcourt shot competition, they call Homer's seat number but it turns out his ticket is for tomorrow's WNFL game. Ned gets to take the shot and makes it, he donates the money to Bibles for Belgiums, the team owner gives him an additional $100,000. When they get to the parking lot Ned's car is blocked in so the stadium lets him drive the Wienermobile home. Homer decides Ned has a secret and plans to find out, by asking. Ned tells Homer how he does it, through clean living, hard work and prayer, so Homer tries prayer. While stuck watching the Ken Burns documentary Homer prays to find the remote and because he's down on his knees he sees it under the couch, and changes the channel to the Monkey Olympics on Fox. Homer sets up a prayer station at work. While driving Homer prays for a new snack and causes an accident between a hot fudge tanker truck and a bacon truck. Homer prays for fixing a clogged sink, Marge calls a plumber who finds roots growing in the pipes. When the plumber points out the problem he notes it's damaging their drywall, which collapses. Homer prays for a new house and then falls into a hole at the church where they are building a new nativity scene. An ambulance chasing lawyer, Larry H. Lawyer Jr., shows up and offers to sue the church.  The church's lawyer shows videos of Homer being accident prone, but the jury awards Homer one million dollars, they can't pay so Homer gets the deed to the church. Homer kicks out the Alcoholic Anonymous meeting, Moe tricks them into coming to his bar. Homer throws a housewarming party, meanwhile Lovejoy holds sermon at the bowling alley, and gets hit by a stray ball, he decides to leave Springfield. Ned gets mad because Homer's party broke all the commandments (gotta wonder who they murdered). Lenny and Carl start worshiping new gods, while Homer's giant bonfire causes a storm. As it starts raining Homer gets stuck by lightning, Ned is happy because flooding starts and he's ready with his ark. The town gets stuck on the roof of the church and decide to sacrifice Homer. Lovejoy shows up with a helicopter and leads everyone in a prayer, the rain stops and the sun comes out. The show ends with Buddha, Colonel Sanders and God hanging out. 

Ken Burns and Lisa Leslie do their own voices.

RE the chalkboard gag, SpongeBob first aired in 1999

Springfield Square Gardens. Tonight:WNBA Basketball. Courtside seats 30 cents.

Homer's ticket is Section A, Row 12, Seat 16 however it's for the WNFL game, The Cowgirls vs. the She-Gles.

In the Ken Burns documentary about Ken Burns he has a Springfield Isotopes pendant on his wall. 

The Monkey Olympics are sponsored by Laramie Cigarette and Omnitouch. The phone company first appeared in the episode Make Room For Lisa.

Johnny Bench's pre-cooked bacon.

When the plumber cracks the drywall it forms the image of Washington Crossing The Delaware by Emanuel Leutze.

First Church Of Springfield sign, God: The Original Tony Soprano / (after Homer takes over) Housewarming Party, Let There Be Light Beer.

While dancing in the church Homer plays I was made for loving by Kiss.

The news shows a photo of Lovejoy, at the bottom is says Photo by Annie Leibovitz.

Arnie Pye does a news story but mostly mocks Kent Brockman until the station cuts to a Technical Difficulties card.

When the Simpsons first went on the air they were condemned by the Religious crowd since Bart had no respect for adults and they often made fun of the various religions. However after this episode aired they praised the program for their pro Christian message. Kind of funny how things had changed in a decade.

Barting Over

This episode premiered on February 16th 2003. The lead in program was a rerun of The Simpsons (How I Spent My Strummer Vacation) and it was followed by a new episode of the series (the next one on this page). It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (The Music Man, 2003 version), Becker and American Dreams. 

The opening credits say The Simpsons 300th Episode. See below*

The chalkboard gag is Bart writes "I will not" and then pulls out an axe, destroying the board and the couch gag is the family and the whole living room are made out of ginger bread. Homer leans over and takes a bite out of Bart.

At the Kennedy Centers Honors Walter Cronkite introduces Ornate Coleman, Arthur Miller and Lisa, however it's just a dream and she is woken up by Marge doing her spring cleaning. Bart and Lisa find some old videos and start watching. One is labeled Bart Sad, it turns out to be a commercial for Baby Stink Breath starring Bart, Lisa adds an apostrophe and realizes it says Bart's Ad. When Bart confronts his parents about the commercials Marge says he made a lot of money but Homer admits he spent it on incriminating photos. Bart gets mad and hires a lawyer to divorce from his parents. The lawyer tricks Homer into taking the summons by offering him a side of crispy bacon. The judge rules Bart is emancipated and Homer has to give half his check until Bart is paid back. Bart moves into a loft downtown. Homer makes a dummy of Bart to play baseball with but is electrocuted by a low wire and sets it on fire. Bart gets scared on his first night but accidentally goes to the top floor, only to discover that it's Tony Hawk's apartment where Blink 182 is playing. Homer just happens to be watching the webcam. The family visits Bart to convince him to move home but he tells them he's joined the Skewed tour. Homer asks Tony Hawk to lose a skateoff to him in order to win Bart back. Hawk loans a board to Homer that will do all the stunts for him. Hawk decides to really challenge Homer and they get into a kung fu style skate fight. Homer and Bart are still fighting so Hawk tells Homer to apologize. Lindsay Nagel shows up and puts Homer into a commercial for a bald/impotence drug, Viagrogaine (possible loss of scalp and penis).  Since he humiliated himself for money Bart accepts Homer's apology, he tells Homer nobody will remember it in 50 years, cut to Homer's headstone: Homer Simpson Impotency Spokesman. An old Nelson shows up to laugh at it and then has a coughing spell.

Tony Hawk, Mark Hoppus, Tom DeLonge and Travis Baker do their own voices. Jane Kaczmarek returns as judge Constance Harm

Kennedy Centers Honors Salute 'Em Before They Die

When Lisa is introduced at the Honors Coleman and Miller bow and say "We're not worthy". This is a spoof on Waynes World where Wayne and Garth would do this routine to celebrities and super models.

While cleaning out the garage Maggie is attacked by feral Furbies. They were the "must have" toy of 1998.

Lisa reads from an old book and the Chernabog from Fantasia starts to rise, but she tosses it away and he disappears.

One of the VHS tapes has an episode of Perfect Strangers. The sitcom ran from 1983 to 1986.

Self Aware Joke, Bart says he doesn't remember being in a commercial and then pulls out a Butterfinger. The Simpsons were on Butterfinger commercials from 1988 to 2001.

Self Aware Joke: In court the lawyer uses a Bart doll to have Bart demonstrate where Homer took his money from, Bart turns out the pockets. 

Homer's incriminating photos are a spoof on when Michael Jackson held his son over a hotel balcony rail, except Homer dropped Bart.

Legal firms at the Law Building: Badger, Haggle & Bill / Luvum & Burnham, Family Law / Hackey, Joke & Dunnit

There is an Absolut Krusty billboard on the side of the building Bart moves to. This is a spoof on the Absolut Vodka ads with various artwork featuring their bottle.

When Bart moves into his new apartment the theme from the Mary Tyler Moore show plays. He tosses his hat in the air, in a spoof of her hat toss from the credits, but he throws it into the ceiling fan.

 Bart writes Mr. Awesome on his arm. 

The Skewed Extreme Sports Tour. Music, Mayhem and Mastercard.

Marge asks how many crazy stunts Homer has done, Lisa clicks her counter and says 300, Marge says "I could have sworn it was 302". This is a reference to this episode being referred to as the 300th despite being number 302, see below*

*This episode is called the 300th since it was the 300th produced and Fox wanted a big promotion to run on Feb. 16th, but it was the 302nd episode in release order.

I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can

This episode premiered on February 16 2003. It ran right after the previous episode above and was followed by a Married With Children Reunion Special. It ran opposite The W.W.O. Disney (see above), Everybody Loves Raymond and American Dreams.

The title comes from the 1982 movie I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can.

The couch gag is a repeat of the Etch A Sketch.

Bart is watching TV, a commercial comes on for the Kwik-E-Mart's back to school parking lot blow-out. Bart is watching Boobarella's monster movie but Ray Romano, who plays a ref in the film, sues to stop it from being shown so they cut to a Krusty Burger commercial. Krusty Burger introduces the Ribwich. At the first day of school we find out Nelson and Martin went to Space Camp and became friends, however they are back in the regular world. Skinner starts off the year with a spelling bee, Lisa wins. She gets to go to the state spelling finals, and a model of Mars, which is just a kick ball with the word Mars written on it. Homer goes to Krusty Burger and tries the Ribwich sauce, he becomes instantly addicted. Lisa wins the state finals and is on the way to the Spellympics. Homer goes back to Krusty Burger but finds out that the Ribwich was a limited menu item and they are all gone. A guy tells Homer they are doing a test market in other cities on other dates, Homer plans a Ribwich tour. Lisa gets a double wide locker at school, Ralph loses his. The Spellympics release bees during their opening ceremony and then the Blue Angels spray the crowd with pesticides. Lisa is in the final round but Homer is going to take off to get the last Ribwich in San Francisco. George Plimpton asks Lisa to take a dive so the cute kid can win and they can use him to promote the spelling bee, the offer her a bribe of a free ride at one of the 7 Sisters college. Lisa has a dream that the Seven Sisters are Greek gods trying to bribe her. Krusty shows up at the last Ribwich and has to announce that the animal they made the sandwich from is extinct. Homer gets the last sandwich but trades it off for a car to go see Lisa. Just as Lisa is about to throw the contest Homer shows up to cheer her on. Lisa announces that she was bribed to throw the contest, but spells the word wrong and loses legitimately. When they get home they discover everyone is there to cheer for her because coming in second is the best the town has ever done. They even carved her face into a nearby mountain.

George Plimpton does his own voice in this episode. He says he played the evil dean in Boner Academy. 

Bart watches Booberella, a spoof on Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark. The movie is Frankenstein and the Harlem Globetrotters Meet The Mummy And The Washington Generals, from 1983. Ray Romano appears as a ref in the movie, he starred in Everybody Loves Raymond that was running opposite this episode. Frankenstein says he's bad at basketball because he was made from the corpses of the Denver Nuggets, the team's record was 17 and 63 in 2003.

The Ribwich commercial is a spoof on the Chevy Like A Rock commercial. The Ribwich is a spoof on McDonald's McRib.

Skinner sings "School's back in session" to the tune of Alice Cooper's School's Out For Sumer

Space Camp is a real thing held in Huntsville Alabama since 1982.

Ribwich, now without lettuce. 

Ribwich tour: September, 13 San Antonio / 20 Atlanta / October 28 Boston / 30 Springfield / November 6 San Francisco. (according to the tour dates Homer only has one more place he can go, San Francisco). The Ribwich groupies are like the Grateful Dead "Deadheads". 

Kent Brockman reports that 3M and M&M have merged to form....Ultradyne Systems. 

Marge wears an apron that says Jim Neighbors Is Way Cool, challenging the I before E rule. 

Barney, who has been sober since the episode Days Of Wine And D'hoses (three years earlier) has a relapse. 

Lisa goes for a jog and the town cheers her on as she runs up the court house steps, this is a spoof from Rocky II (I had to edit Wikipedia to put this on their page, people hate when I do that so we'll see if it stays)

Spellympic Village A Place For Dorks. The spellympic stadium has the Olympic Rings with the vowels in them.

Lisa's dream about the 7 Sisters trying to bribe her comes from the story of Paris having to pick which Greek goddess is the prettiest and they each try to bribe him to pick her, thus resulting in the Trojan War.

Homer holds up a sign that says English Spelling Promotes Nowledge, ESPN.

I Put A Spell On You by Screamin' Jay Hawkins plays during the spelling bee montage and over the closing credits.

Krusty says "What a long strange promotion this has been", a reference to the Grateful Dead song Long Strange Trip.

A guy asks Homer to "turn him on" but Homer says "Don't Borgnine my sandwich". This is a reference to the slang "Don't Bogart my joint". 

A Star Is Born Again

This episode premiered on march 2nd 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and was followed by a repeat of The Simpsons (The Dad Who Knew Too Little). It ran opposite I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!, My Big Fat Greek Life and American Dreams.

The title is based on the various A Star Is Born Movie (except for the 2018 version which was 15 years in the future) and the Born Again Christian slogan.

The plot of this episode is taken from the 1999 film Notting Hill.

The couch gag is a repeat of the marionette family.

The family is on the way to the beach where Springfield is celebrating the return of the red jellyfish. Ned is feeling alone since it's his first Jellyfish Fest without Maude. He goes back to his store where he meets Sara Sloane, he doesn't realize she's a movie star until he walks by a poster for My Best Friend's Gay Baby. After a date the paparazzi invade Ned's house and make up stories about him. Ned shows up at a movie set and objects to a nude scene. Ned uses a Cher-crow to keep the paparazzi at his house while they are having dinner at the Simpsons, however Moe shows up with questions for the Weekly World News and then Rainer Wolfcastle tries to get Sara to come back. Sara asks Ned to come to Hollywood but he freaks out about it and imagines Rod and Todd convert to Judaism and become producers. When he turns her down she decides to move to Springfield. Sara joins the book club but she's the only one who read Bridge Jones' Diary and invites Helen Fielding. Sara says she wants to "cuddle" with Ned but he doesn't want to engage in premarital sex. After the wind blows away most of Ned's Bible reasons to not have sex they do the nasty in the woods. Ned offers to marry Sara but she doesn't want to, but then gets married to and divorces another guy. The single women start hitting on Ned and then they end with the Benny Hill chase bit. 

Helen Fielding and James L. Brooks do their own voices and Marisa Tomei plays Sara Sloane.

Lisa is reading Modern Sandcastle Magazine which has a picture of a girl making the Sydney Opera House, meanwhile Bart is reading Bad Boy's Life which has the same photo as Lisa's magazine except it's a kid kicking down the opera house. These are spoofs on Modern Architect and Boy's Life magazines.

Marge uses SPF 1000 sunscreen on Maggie.

Self Aware Joke: Mayor Quimby says the town celebrates the third Tuesday of May Sweeps. A reference to Sweeps Week when programs put out their best shows in hopes of being nominated for an Emmy award.

Springfield Shopper headline: Lonely Men Die Early.

Mall stores: Expensive Coffee In Little Cups / I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm

Bloaters At The Squidport.

The National Whoops: Sara Lives In Sin, mess.

Sara Sloane in The Zookeeper's Wife / Sleeping With Pinocchio / Honey I Scotchgarded The Kids

Ned says he hasn't been that happy since they stole the 2000 election. (Prediction about the 2020 election?)

Helen Fielding says most Americans don't understand the subtlety of British Humor and then cuts to a Benny Hill high speed chase scene complete with Yakety Sax playing.

The Springfield Bowl. John Williams Conducts The Music of Itchy and Scratchy.

I don't think I've seen this episode before. And if I did I intentionally forgot it. It was another one in which they set up a premise, skipped around with several jokes and then said "well, it's over". 

Mr. Spritz Goes To Washington

This episode premiered on March 9th 2003. The lead in show was King Of The Hill and it was followed by Oliver Beene (a short lived sitcom about an average American kid living an average American life). It ran opposite The W.W.O Disney (Tarzan), My Big Fat Greek Life and American Dreams.

The title of this episode comes from the 1939 film Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.

The couch gag is a repeat of the time traveling remote control

The house starts shaking and the Simpsons discover that they are on the flight path for the Springfield Airport. After a month the place is falling apart so the family decides it's time to move, Kookie Quan is the real estate agent. Homer and Marge go to see congressman Horace Wilcox but he drops dead so a special election is planned, Bart comes up with the idea to get Krusty to run for congressHe tells Krusty that he can get out of his legal problems if he was in congress. At a fundraiser dinner Krusty says for a $1000 he'll have somebody wacked, and then claims it was just a joke (boy did they predict the trump Presidency with this one). The Democrats show bigoted and offensive jokes from Krusty's show. Lisa convinces Krusty to connect with regular families. Fox News holds a debate where they run a communist flag behind Armstrong, Krusty's opponent, and devil horns on him. The Moderator spends the entire time insulting the Democratic candidate and then concludes with a schmaltzy political campaign for Krusty. Krusty the Clown wins the election (did The Simpsons predict Lauren Boebert?) When he gets to Washington Krusty discovers that Freshman congressmen have zero power. He is assigned to the committee to design dollar coins nobody will use (The Presidential Dollar Coins started in 2007, another Simpson prediction). The Simpsons show up and convince Krusty to push for the bill to get the flight plan changed from over their house, the House janitor shows up to help (it's Walter Mondale. Oh Google him ya Century Kids). The Simpsons blackmail, bribe, sneak the bill into an existing bill and get members of congress drunk to get the bill passed. The flights are rerouted. 

Homer and Bart watch The Three Stooges in Brittle Boneheads. Directed by Jules White III. Jules White was the original producer of The Three Stooges, he passed away in 1985.

Self Aware Joke: A promo for Joe Millionaire on Fox run across the bottom of the screen. Homer eats the letters.

Airplane banner: Mafia Staff Jet-Keep-A You Hands Off (that joke didn't age well). Fat Tony is crying while watching the 2002 movie The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

Airport Complaint Department: Sarcastic Grief Counselors On Duty

Quimby is at the Ye Olde Off Ramp Inn. It was first seen in the episode Homer's Night Out. He comments that with the planes rerouted he can hear his mistresses voice for the first time and regrets building her that opera house, this is a reference to the 1941 film Citizen Kane. 

The family visits Representative Horace Wilcox "Your Man Of Tomorrow Since 1933" This is a spoof on Strom Thurman, the longest serving member of congress. Thurman would die three months later.

At the Republican meeting they announce all the things they've named after Reagan. He died in 1989 and the Republicans were trying to get something important named after him in every state. Also the Simpsons predicted trump running for President so he could pardon himself from all his own crimes. During his speech Krusty makes funny sounds. It's like they had a time machine and saw trump.

Springfield Town Hall sign board: Big Debate Tonight. Kids Get Bored For Free

Krusty appears on the back of a train car, this is a spoof on the classic whistlestop campaigns of the past. 

"Welcome to Fox News, your voice for evil: The crawl across the bottom of the screen: Pointless News Crawls Up 37 Percent / Do Democrats Cause Cancer? Find Out At FoxNews.com / Rupert Murdoch: Terrific Dancer / DOW Down 5000 Points / Study: 92 Percent Of Democrats Are Gay / JFK Posthumously Joins Republican Party / Oil Slicks Found To Keep Seals Young, Supple / Dan Quayle: Awesome

Images of Krusty in his commercial: Planting the flag on the Moon / raising the flag on Iowa Jima / blocking the tank at Tiananmen Square / Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald (Krusty is Detective Leavelle)

Krusty spends election night at the Second Best Western Hotel. It was first seen in the episode Bart vs. Lisa vs. The Third Grade.

Krusty's first job in congress is scrubbing the Martin Van Buren is a Wiener graffiti off the House chamber wall. (Did the Simpsons predict the vandalism of the Jan. 6th riot?) The wall also says Grover Cleveland sucks....

Washington bar, The Drinkin' Memorial (with a picture of Lincoln holding a beer).

Scroll over closing credits: Ashcroft Declares Breast Of Chicken Sandwich "Obscene" / Hillary Clinton Embarrasses Self, Nation / Bible Says Jesus Favored Capital-Gains Cuts (is that in the new trump Bible?) / Stay Tuned For Hannity And Idiot (back when Alan Colmes was still part of Fox News) / Only Dorks Watch CNN / Jimmy Carter: Old, Wrinkly, Useless /  Brad Pitt + Albert Einstein = Dick Cheney / Right Wing Of Chicken Healthy

After parodying the propaganda scrolls on Fox News the network forbid The Simpsons from doing them again. 

This was another episode I had never seen. They made a lot of jokes about the Republican Party and most of them are true today. Trump is running so he can pardon himself from his crimes, they elected several clowns to congress and they aren't interested in passing meaningful legislation that helps Americans, just stuff that sounds good to the voting public. Look at me, getting all political over a Simpsons episode. I hope the next one is funny so I can get past this.

We've reached another 5 Simpsons episodes down. I am definitely moving into the era where I didn't see the episodes either in their original run or on repeats. At this point in 2003 I'd see a promotion for The Simpsons and think "Is that show still on?" And look where we are in 2024.